


Human nature.

by alanciel



Category: South Park
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Choking, Drug Use, F/F, Hate Sex, M/M, Murder-Suicide, Omega Verse, Revolution, Time Skips, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:15:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 118,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24254218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alanciel/pseuds/alanciel
Summary: "Let's fight the system, Kahl" I expected to hear anything from him; an insult, some stupid anti-Semitic joke, a burp... in short, any kind of half-intelligible bellow that fat fuck could utter; but that, that was worse than all of the above condensed into one big final statement "Or should I call you omega?"Another Omegaverse fanfic.
Relationships: Bebe Stevens/Wendy Testaburger, Eric Cartman/Kenny McCormick, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Comments: 11
Kudos: 82





	1. Human Nature.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Human Nature](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/621940) by Alanciel. 



> Okay. Another longfic to kyman's repertoire. I feel particularly proud of this fic; I hope you like it as much as I do.

Flashes of multicolored lights pierced human shadows between jumps and movements to the rhythm of thunderous music, artificial smoke of a whitish hue pierced the ground silently while walls, floor and windows vibrated with the simultaneous jumping of an ecstatic crowd.

Thirst began to fill my throat and an absurd heat rose up my chest like a lava flow.

A crescendo of expectation in the crowd, my heart felt rising to its rhythm knowing that probably every person in this place was palpitating in almost exact synchronicity. I felt Kenny's arm encircling my shoulders, jumping up and down beside me; he screamed just before the drop sounded and a blast of effects, a mixture of bubbles, smoke and probably alco... soda, was ejected from the stage in the direction of the dozens of people around us.

I saw a big smile on Stan's face next to me, and Cartman... the asshole hadn't come, probably because he was a grumpy little shit; but whatever, absolutely everything felt better without him around.

"Aren't you guys thirsty?!" I yelled, because I was, and it seemed to increase as the seconds went by extremely quickly.

"Same here, I'll go get a drink, do you want some?!" Wendy answered, everyone gave their order and Stan said something but the sound was so loud I could barely hear myself think. Bebe followed him and God, the heat was impossible, and it was freezing out there.

I moved away from Kenny's arm to lessen the suffocation and took off my sweater only leaving a T-shirt I was wearing underneath while the crowd continued to go crazy around me. I took a breath and tried to continue but a layer of sweat had washed over my forehead in a matter of seconds, I could already feel it descending down my back and...

"How long until Wendy gets here with the drinks?!"

"I don't know, she just left!" Stan said "You want me to get her?!" I nodded.

"Please!" And he walked away, probably going after them at the bar. The sound of the beats suddenly became unbearable, so loud and poignant, the beats seemed to stun my conscience repeatedly "God" I whispered covering my ears, trying to lessen the impact, feeling the world go round and round while endless aromas squirmed in my nostrils impregnating them, or more like fucking raping them "What the fuck did they throw?!"

"Of what?!" Kenny asked, confused. I wrinkled my nose, suffocated by the smells, the noise, my head hurting more and more, barely hearing him amidst the din that had stopped being music seconds before.

I had to get out of there.

"Nothing, never mind" I tried to get away but I felt his hand around my wrist "Wait, I'll get some air, I think they threw away some drugs or whatever" and he started to take me away from the place, I saw the sign of the bathrooms in neon flashing in the distance "I don't want to go to the bathroom, I want to go outside!" I shouted exasperated, but the son of a bitch wouldn't let go, he looked over his shoulder detailing something.

"Just come, I'll give you something!"

"What?!" And we went in. The noise died down a bit but it still hurt, I thought he would let go but he opened one of the cubicles and put us both in it despite the look of a guy who was peeing there.

"Fags!" he shouted.

"Your fucking dad!" kenny replied of course. I covered my ears one more time because of the scream, I felt like I was in the middle of a fucking hangover without even drinking a drop of alcohol.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked, I was sick of the whole situation, angry at everything but him, but still, putting tedium into my voice. He came over, breathed in the air around me as if trying to catch something.

"I don't believe it" he muttered, sinking his nose against my neck, I pushed him away.

"Kenny... what the fuck are you doing?" he watched me silently for a few seconds, his eyebrows furrowing in a slight trace of concern.

Voices were running down the walls, footsteps were marching and the noise outside kept hammering... and the smell of the bathroom, god. I had to get out of here.

"Wait, I have something" and I watched him once again disdainfully as he looked for something in his pockets, gagging threatening to emerge, I wanted to vomit, I felt dizzy and... "This" I looked at his hand, a small white pill with the playboy magazine rabbit carved on it was resting on it, and as much as I wanted some relief right now...

"Dude, you know I don't do drugs..."

"It's nothing bad, just take it, it'll make you feel better" I watched him incredulously, he was one of my best friends but... "Trust me" he tilted his head pleadingly waving his hand in front of me. I gave a sigh of surrender, taking it carefully.

"If I wake up in your bed, and naked tomorrow, I'm going to remove your balls" he smiled.

"Believe me, if you do it it will be of your own free will" I grunted in response watching the pill. I left it on my tongue and passed it without tasting it with difficulty due to the absence of any liquid, my mouth dry from the heat by this point and... where the hell was my sweater?

"What is it?" I asked.

"So you swallow first and then you ask, curious order" I frowned in tedium.

"tell me" I looked at the door "And why the fuck did you lock us in?"

"Look..." he took my shoulders "If you don't know what's going on I assume you don't know anything about it so... I'm about to tell you something extremely crazy..." I looked at him confused, while feeling the distant noise diminishing, the heat slowly but surely descending and a greater degree of awareness returning to me "So please try to listen to me until the end" I slowly nodded formulating my way out of here right from the start.

"Fine" he smiled contentedly.

"You promise?" I nodded a little more confidently. What was the worst thing he could say to me anyway?

"I promise”

"Great" he cleared his throat.

The bathroom door closed and opened by people coming and going... I saw someone taking a picture from the bottom of the cubicle as if they had just discovered the unthinkable, a couple fucking in the bathrooms of a club.

"Quickly please, this is making me very uncomfortable"

"How the fuck do I say this without sounding like a sick fuck?" he asked himself, biting his lip in frustration. I took a breath, instantly regretting it because of the smell of the bath and... "Your first heat will soon begin."

"Heat?" I couldn't help but let out a slight chuckle in amusement. He groaned softly.

"God, I feel so stupid" he looked down and then continued "About two percent of the population goes into heat every few months"

"Heat... like dogs" he nodded, looking for my eyes "And that's because..." I had promised to listen to him, playing along was the least I could do.

"Because unlike the vast majority, which are betas, these are alphas and omegas..." his eyebrows joined in concern "And because of your smell... most likely you are an omega" I let go another laugh because of the drama in his voice, he almost seemed to tell me I had AIDS or something.

"Really" he nodded "And that's wrong" he looked up at what was more of a statement than a question.

"It's not wrong, the system made it wrong" and by this point total seriousness had taken over his tone, seriousness that I rarely saw in him.

"... System" and once again he came up against me.

"Can you smell it?" He extended his neck giving way to my nose and a scent of some form pleasant and new to me ran through my senses... sweet and smothering, with a touch of spiciness in it that seemed almost sexual; it was a perfume that I had noticed minutes before but had not fully detailed because of all the scents of this unpleasant context.

"I think..." and he moved away once more.

"Just like you smell now."

"So... you're an omega too" assuming there was any omega, at all "If there's only a two percent it's pretty... convenient that there are two of us in one bathroom, huh?" I joked, he rolled his eyes.

"There's five hundred of us in high school, Kyle, so by the statistics there should be at least twenty there."

"ten" I corrected.

"Only ten?" he asked, surprised by the same figures he had given, I rolled my eyes and let out a smile.

"Then... what is Stan?"

"Beta... I think."

"You think?"

"If they haven't developed some kind of scent by this point I assume they're betas. We are the minors, the others should already be developed" I nodded in agreement with his point.

"Bebe?"

"Not aroma, beta."

"Wendy?" he was silent for a few seconds.

"Alpha" I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"I see... Cartman?"

"Beta"

"Okay. So you just change over and that's it... shouldn't it be a smoother process or..." he let go of a short laugh.

"Not at all, it's like a kick right in the balls Kyle, quick and painful, which then spreads to the rest of your life and..."

"And what does this imply... being alpha or omega?" if the vast majority was beta that meant that being beta was basically being an average person.

"Control and subjugation respectively. People in power tend to be alpha... are alpha. They are distributed among branches of control, military leaders, political, economic, media monopoly owners..."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. And Omegas are..."

"Remember that Jekyll & Hyde musical we did last year?" I nodded, "Remember... Lucy?"

"Whores" I assumed "Omegas are whores" he bit his lip shrugging.

"Don't say it like that, you're making me feel bad about myself" he feigned embarrassment. 

"So for reasons of... no fucking clue, by developing as an omega I automatically became someone like you"

"Ouch Kyle, ouch. That hurt" I rolled my eyes "I'm like that because... well, it's me but..." he took a deep breath trying to explain himself "should I walk you home? maybe I can explain it better if we go out" I looked at him curiously. The feelings of discomfort were not more than a memory at this point so it seemed a waste to go "Please" but I had promised to listen so... well.

"Fine" he smiled contentedly opening the door. I just followed him.

We moved forward through the crowd, looks dug into us... more than usual, as we moved towards the door.

And at last we got out. I tensed up in the cold, I'd thrown my sweater in the middle of the chaos probably.

"Damn it" I muttered, shivering.

"I'd lend you my coat but I haven't washed it since... I don't know, two weeks ago?" That didn't matter much right now, they were just excuses. Fucker.

I took my cell phone out to text Stan, we'd left the drinks behind and that was my biggest regret. And we walked, streets still congested, it wasn't that late at night and we decided to take the road through the commercial district, once again eyes following Kenny's figure.

"Why are they looking at you so much?"

"I haven't taken my pill, that's what I wanted to explain."

"The one you gave me?" he nodded.

"As I told you, each specimen gives off a characteristic smell that defines them among the hierarchy. Most of them are beta, we are so used to their smell that it already seems inherent to the air itself. On the other hand the aroma of an alpha or omega is... uncommon, seeing or smelling one is very rare. Those pills hide that scent."

"Why would they hide their scent?"

"Alphas don't really have the need, in fact, their simple perfume gives off dominance and power but..."

"But not the omegas"

"Nope. The pill I gave you is illegal."

"Illegal?"

"It's like hiding your ID, being undocumented or something. Throughout our evolutionary processes, methods have emerged to eradicate the lines between the two extremes of the hierarchy, pills to control heat, hormones, pregnancy and so on, there are even surgeries to remove the glands that produce these aromas. To this point the only legal thing is the pill that controls the heat stage and therefore reproduction, but keeps the smell. They are suppressive methods, suppressive pills and so on”

"But... why hide it?" 

"Remember all that politically correct human rights crap they put us through in school? Let's just say this system doesn't give a shit about that" he laughed at his own comment. "All this talk of equality and fairness falls a little short when it comes to this purely hormonal and primitive issue. The alphas have benefits that are superior to those of the omegas and betas. They are guaranteed entry to prestigious universities if they pass a series of physical exams and apply to the favourite careers I told you about, and they can easily access positions of power simply by... smelling different. Their development is not limited to that but it is still absurd"

"And the Omegas?" I didn't know whether to believe him yet, sorry for doubting everything I'm told.

The eyes kept looking for him, people sniffing the aroma that he gave off in a concealed manner passed by him.

"The probability of two betas having an alpha and omega child is reduced. Even though it does not result from genetic or hereditary factors, for some reason over the last few years such offspring have decreased. The chances of an alpha or omega child coming out of the alpha and omega relationship is, on the other hand, more viable. Because of the rarity of both, there is very strict control over omegas, which, unlike alphas, are not visible to everyone”

"What kind of control?"

"It's just rumors I couldn't confirm, they say there's a list" I looked at him confused.

"Of omegas?" he nodded.

"As soon as one is discovered this one is added to a wait list. I told you they were like whores, right? They are because they can't choose who to be with, and they're sold to the best bidder, or the best alpha, which is the same thing" the phrase stopped me in my tracks, if this was a joke it was taking a somewhat crude course.

"What?"

"That's why these suppressive methods that hide the aroma are illegal, because it will make it harder for them to find us and therefore they won't be able to use us as alpha breeders" I looked at him in shock.

"Then the pill you gave me... They might find out you're one, isn't that bad?" he smiled in my direction with a friendly tone.

"Nothing will happen for one night, there's a fun part to this, hopefully you'll see it"

"But everyone is watching you"

"Amazing, isn't it?" I looked at him in confusion, not fully understanding his contradiction.

"What if they discover the use of those pills?" He was silent for a few seconds.

"Although the Omegas do not have as many rights as the others, when given to their respective alpha they can appeal to a code of treatment. They cannot be hurt, abused, left, replaced... in short. I guess when they discover the use of non-regulated pills you can't use that code anymore, you become even less than an Omega"

"What an imagination you have, that or you've been reading too many conspiracy theories." 

"Kyle..."

"Seems like a system too well structured and planned to have never heard of."

"Because there is no real need to talk about it, there are betas who never get to know that they are betas, for example. It's natural and inherent in today's society, no one analyzes or condemns it, no one is outside that ideology and therefore its rational field more than a few, usually Omegas, who as soon as they decide to do something about it they are very likely to disappear..." a girl crashed into Kenny out of nowhere, we stopped suddenly, and shame washed over her face as she backed away.

"Excuse me" she breathed around him before lowering her gaze in repentance and continuing on her way.

"What the fuck?" I muttered, kenny let out a sound of appreciation with his eyes still fixed on her ass.

"See?"

"See what?"

"What I wanted to show you, look what a simple aroma does to betas" and he turned to me "Imagine what it does to alphas" and we continued on our way to the residential district.

"The alphas?"

"Like I said you're about to start your heat period, we're kind of in sync apparently. At that time we released a greater number of hormones and... those hormones attract others, especially alphas" he smiled in my direction "At the same time it wreaks havoc with your sexual desire and theirs. As animals, we basically involuted for a period of a few days" I watched him in confusion, I had too many questions right now and I really didn't know where to start. The whole world seemed to be acting on his testimony and...

"Does it not affect the betas equally?"

"Not equally, just less. The primary need for the omega is reproduction. His instincts tend to have a natural predilection to look for an alpha, but in a context where the possibility of finding one ranges from two to zero percent, his hormones can also attract betas to a lesser extent" I looked at him slightly surprised, and the son of a bitch got only zeros in biology.

"Will you keep hiding?" he nodded.

"I just have to get more, they're expensive and there's been a witch-hunt lately... or drug dealers hunt... but I have my methods" he sighed "I didn't think someone like you could be an Omega, I was almost convinced you'd be an Alpha"

"Why?"

"You're smart, with a high sense of duty... anyway, you're Kyle Broflovski, you're the opposite of me. I almost found it natural to be an omega but... you." 

"You seem disappointed."

"Don't mind me" I glimpsed my house a few yards away, I looked at him still confused "What will you do?"

"Don't ask me that, half an hour ago I was at a fucking concert enjoying my simple life and now you're telling me there's an openly elitist structure that oppresses us and that I, because I smell different, am at the base of the pyramid" he shrugged.

"At least you had me around to save your ass" and we stopped in front of my door, he would have to go straight I guess "What are you going to do?" he asked once more looking for my eyes. I sighed.

"If I'm on that list what will happen to me besides being distributed as merchandise?" He looked for something in his pockets, a cigarette.

"You can be taken at any time, you won't be able to say no, your family won't be able to say no and you'll have to spend the rest of your life procreating with that alpha. It will mark you as its own, an indistinguishable and irrevocable mark" he shrugged, lighting the cigarette, talking boringly about it "It may not sound so bad to reduce yourself to an object of expensive care but, well, if humans were that simple there would be no class struggle. The problem is that the system paints it pink and people accept it because 'it doesn't sound so bad'" he sucked in, then let out a puff of smoke.

"Can't I study? Be like my dad?" he snorted.

"Education generates knowledge and that in turn generates a certain degree of power, do you think they will give some power to mere Omegas?" He took a second puff. "If it could be known whether we would be Omegas, Alphas or Betas from birth, they would probably isolate us immediately from others so that they would have more control over us; but fortunately they have not found any method for that" I wrinkled my nose at the smoke that he basically blew in my face.

"How long can we hide?" he tilted his head thinking about it.

"I don't really know... maybe until we graduate, maybe even longer but... but well, every country has its policies on these issues, there are some more flexible, some more oppressive... then there's this one. I was thinking of going to one of those other places, or at least that's my plan" I looked at him in surprise.

"Are you planning to disappear after graduation?" he smiled.

"It's not like I have too high expectations about my life, but living as someone's sex pet is pretty low, even for me."

"It seems like something you'd like to do" he rolled his eyes, letting go of some dull cigarette butts as he touched the snow under our boots.

"The code of the omega treatment is easily impugned, alphas are powerful people who have committed worse crimes than one omega disappearing We are less than animals to them..." he took another puff "Playing with that code is nothing more than an extra cost of maintenance for their petty, easily replaceable toys" he smiled "That's why I'm hiding, because it would be exactly the same not to" I looked down trying to assimilate the reality to which I was being exposed "What will you do?" he asked again. I had to admire his patience, I would have lost my shit by now.

"Hiding seems the smartest thing to do" I looked up hesitantly, feeling stupid for making a decision for something that was probably no more than an elaborate joke.

He smiled contentedly, letting go of the last puff of white smoke to drop the remains of the just smoked cigar.

"And now?"

"Wait" he started to look for something in his pockets. He wrinkled his brow in confusion to take out a small, half-wrinkled piece of paper which he read quickly, an almost lewd smile bathed his face and he put it away again, then he took out a small pill, similar to the one I had just taken "During your heat you must take one daily, when it passes you can take one every week" he extended it to me. I took it, still hesitating "Unfortunately it may affect your senses a little at first" he pointed out his nose "As you will have noticed, everything feels a little stronger" I nodded "Well, this will help you to reduce it while you get used to it" he tilted his head to the side "I will bring you more tomorrow, take it when you wake up, you can go normally to study".

"Anything else?" I asked, in response to the barrage of information. He smiled.

"One very important thing is that in the middle of your heat, which I suppose must be soon and lasts about three days or so, you're going to... have a strange state of..." he looked up at the sky "How should I put it… loss of control?" he smiled to himself "That sounds so gay" and turned his gaze towards me.

"Loss of control?"

"Yeah, even though the pills help you control the smell, they don't control the need to... fuck." I looked at him blankly for the comment. It was quite impossible for me to imagine myself completely engrossed in the need to have sex to the point of 'losing control' "Yes yes, it seems stupid but it will happen to you, believe me. When that happens, lock yourself up or get as far away as you can, because believe me, you can do things you'll regret for the rest o your fucking li..."

"Hey, what do I see, a couple of fags..." the familiar voice tensed me up, what the fuck was the fat ass doing out of his fucking hole at this hour? "Wow, I didn't know you were picking up kenny's bad habits" apparently he was on his way home. I saw him staring at the pill, I closed my fist and put it in my pocket suddenly pissed off.

Kenny snapped his tongue as he rolled his eyes; he came up to me subtly, his scent filled me up once and I couldn't help but feel how nice it was. He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Be careful" he whispered before walking away, then took one last look at the fat ass "Don't forget to bring your part of the project tomorrow, fat tits, I don't want to get another zero because of you" and started to walk away slowly in the opposite direction of his house, I thought about telling him; him but it was obvious that he wouldn't sleep there tonight.

He threw a vague goodbye before getting lost in a corner.

"Poor fuck" whispered Cartman following him with his eyes, then he turned to me, looking once more at the pocket in which seconds before I had put the pills. I looked at his clothing, more formal than he was used to, maybe he had had a family reunion or something.

He didn't ask... oddly enough, neither did I. We just went our separate ways without making a big deal out of it.

* * *

As soon as I opened my eyes the next morning, the first thing I did was look for the pill on the table... and there they were. I felt my eyes absurdly heavy moving slowly along the bed, it was Monday, fucking Monday.

The laptop was still lying on the floor, still lit, at least ten windows along the browser with the word omega or alpha in their respective places.

Apparently it was all true... the problem was that there wasn't much information about it, it didn't seem to be a major issue in society but at the same time there was no page denying any of the existing information. The data that were found were mostly quite... scientific, far from political or social analysis, nothing outside of simple explanations about the nature, qualities and deficiencies of each one.

The political, social, humanistic and other analyses were about the system itself... I was already aware of that, it was more than obvious that we were not living in a meritocratic, egalitarian, fair society. We are exposed to this reality from birth, we know that if we grow up in the lower classes we will stay in those lower classes, if we are born in the lower middle class we may rise to the middle middle, and from the middle middle to the upper middle and so on. Power relations are a natural part of our daily lives, adding a word to those in charge was nothing more than formalizing in a biological way the ruling class that had already been called in one form or another many times throughout history. Emperors, kings, capitalists... Alphas. Likewise the subjugated class, slaves, vassals, workers and omegas, and a class in the middle distributed among the different roles that helped the alpha to exercise control over the omega as slavers, landowners, foremen... betas.

It was as if primitive factors came into play in this twisted scenario called reality to justify the division of classes.

Nothing had changed, and nothing could be changed.

There was nothing about the list Kenny named.

I let go of the air by stretching out my hand in the direction of the night table, took the pill, and swallowed it in disgust standing up.

Throughout that superficial search, data congruent with those given by Kenny, I even found the code for treating omegas but... a yawn froze my thoughts as I listened to my mother call me from the first floor.

"Coming!" ... but other things like code violations and so on were not so easy to find. There were isolated cases without any relation, somehow justified by stupid reasons; news so lost that I never got to see one on TV in my life... I guess the abuse or death of an Omega meant nothing.

Anyway, I was surprised that Kenneth was so aware of the issue, he didn't seem like the type to give a shit about the world.

After the usual routine I left my house, nobody noticing my smell but... the smells still felt more vivid than usual as well as every fucking noise, sleeping the night before was almost impossible not to say hopeless; every fucking step of some lonely passer-by in front of my house was enough to open my eyes.

I stopped in front of the bus stop, my eyelids so heavy that for a moment I closed them and if it wasn't for the approaching footsteps I would have probably fallen asleep right there.

I watched boredly the figure that was coming, I looked at him with a sleepy look from the huge smile on his face to... the open zipper of his pants. He noticed the direction of my gaze...

"Ow, shit" and he immediately pulled it up standing next to me, took one of the pills out of the same little bag from yesterday and swallowed it, he extended the rest in my direction "Hey, did you get some sleep?" I let go of an exasperated sigh by formulating to throw him into the nearest car just for asking that, but I held back my wishes. I took the bag and put it in my pocket.

"Perfectly"

"I didn't sleep a damned thing the first week, or the first month" he surrounded me by my shoulders, he was wearing exactly the same clothes as yesterday "Do you remember the girl we bumped into?" I didn't answer, I just looked at him sideways watching him take out a piece of paper from his pocket that he then moved in front of me, the same one from last night if I remember correctly, a phone number "Being an omega is not so bad, everybody wants to fuck you or everybody wants to be fucked by you" I grunted down without real interest.

"Great" I said with clear sarcasm.

"You just have to... open yourself up to the possibilities, Kyle" I saw Stan approaching from afar, yawned a second time.

"Opening up to possibilities isn't opening up your legs, Ken" I muttered in exhaustion. He laughed softly.

"Yeah, it's hard for me to tell the difference sometimes" he said before taking his space and waving to stan.

"Yesterday you left me with the damn drinks I had to pay for" he spoke after a quick exchange with Kenny "Why did you leave by the way" god, I didn't know what to say, I hadn't bothered to think of any kind of alibi or whatever.

"Well, you see, I went out for a walk with kyle because out of nowhere he felt bad and this girl crashed into us, right?" Stan nodded and looked at the time on his cell phone, distant footsteps lazily approaching.

"By the way Kyle, I found your sweater lying near the restrooms, I forgot to bring it with me, I' ll give it to you later" I nodded closing my eyes one more time, nodding in my position "And what happened to the girl?" he urged Kenny to continue.

"Kyle went home because he's kinda gay and I went to get the girl and..."

"And he fucked her, end of story" concluded the fatass stopping by our side.

"Ey!" I laughed underneath "Did you bring your part of the project?" and the bus was coming. I could hear it and it wasn't even in sight, I could hear voices of a small crowd arguing in an enclosed space, coming closer... they seemed like whispers next to my ear.

"Yes yes" he answered bored and after a few more minutes of mundane conversation the bus finally arrived.

* * *

"Hey... hey!" I started to open my eyes with heaviness, my neck screaming for a more humanly viable position "Jewfag, the class is over" 

Yeah... right... it's over?! 

I stood up out of nowhere looking around, eyes fixed on me while giggles filtered through the air. Fortunately for me, most of them were gone.

"God"

"What the fuck were you doing last night? There's a bit of face in those fucking bags" I looked at him in disgust, then at the blackboard overflowing with formulas and half solved exercises. Neither Stan nor Kenny saw this class with us.

"Why didn't you wake me up sooner?" I yawned as I grabbed my notebook, letting out a moan of disgust over the little area of spit staining white pages.

"Why should I?" I clicked my tongue in annoyance in response. I yawned once more taking everything out of the place, Cartman followed me.

Along the hall, I didn't know if it was my imagination or... something else, but I felt glances on me; one or two comments floating around while I was just looking for my locker, I was getting a little nervous.

"Don't you feel like... they're looking at us a lot?" I saw him shrug.

"Not really."

"Look at me" I said, he turned in my direction "Do I have something on my face?" He raised his eyebrows to bite his lip as if he wanted to hold back from something. He shook his head.

"Nothing" he cleared his throat, pointed in the direction of the cafeteria, and said a quick goodbye as he walked away. I sighed as I reached for my locker, they were definitely looking at me... God, the pill didn't work? Did they notice?

"Hey Ky..." I looked for the voice immediately colliding in the process with the look of more people looking at me.

"Kenny" I muttered with some relief "Hey keep looking at me, is the pill not working or..." he smiled clearly amused by whatever the fuck was going on.

"No, you have a..." he pointed to his chin to enlighten me.

"What?" he let out a little laugh.

"You have a pair of balls drawn on your chin and... Anyway, you look like you're sucking a dick" he came a little closer, I backed off in disgust "And says... 'Cartman's balls'" he let go a second laugh "I'm going to the cafeteria, see ya" and the son of a bitch left. I heard his laugh in the distance as more laughs came in unison with his.

"This son of a..." I took a breath of air looking for calm.

I went to the cafeteria after spending a few minutes cleaning up that shit in the bathroom. Stan as usual was next to Wendy; Cartman and Kenny on the other hand were at another table. An intense mix of aromas was coming through the place and one in particular was really... nice, it even almost quenched my need to kick Cartman for a moment.

"What a fucking piece of shit you are, Cartman" I approached him not bothering to hide my annoyance to kick him in the leg, the Fatso of course didn't manage to avoid it even though he tried.

"Damn it, what the hell, fuckin' jew!?" I heard Kenny's laugh next to him as I took my place at the table.

"You can shove your jokes up your ass next time, if they please you that much" I said, annoyed, unwrapping my lunch, watching him rub his leg.

"Pf, did you tell him?" Cartman asked Kenny, still in pain, he shrugged.

"What could I do? Everybody was making fun of him."

"That's the joke, you poor little shit," I rolled my eyes.

"The joke is your imbecility in action fat fuck" the asshole snorted at my words.

"Fuck you," he spat out, regaining some of his recently damaged composure. Kenny stood up to go around the table, he sat down next to me and smiled in amusement.

"Can you smell it?" he whispered in my ear.

"I can smell a lot of things, you should take a shower" he clicked his tongue, Cartman looked at us curiously.

"No no, something nice, like..." he sniffed "I don't know how to explain it, is... something just different from the rest, like your dick quivers at the smell of it" I was silent for a few seconds analyzing his description, I let out some exhausted breath after putting the first bite of food in my mouth.

"Yeah, I think so" he laughed softly.

"It' s an alpha."

"Alpha?" He looked over at Stan's table, I remembered his words last night, Wendy was an alpha, right? I guess that explained her sudden surge in popularity.

A considerably large group surrounded her, some people had even moved chairs to sit at her table. Stan seemed confused by the situation at first but seemed to get used to it eventually. Carman followed our gaze.

"I don't understand what they see in that bitch" he should be able to smell it too, the day before when we were walking down the street several betas noticed the smell Kenny was giving off. Maybe he was just ignoring it, the fact that she was an alpha must have hurt his pride quite a bit.

"A faggot like you wouldn't understand it" Kenny commented without taking off his eyes from Wendy, fascinated by both her smell and her appearance. Between opposites they tended to appreciate each other's scent more, they belonged together by nature.

I saw her gaze settle for a second on this table, connecting with Kenny; he winked at her and she just rolled her eyes to continue talking with Stan.

"You see? She looked at me" he joked, pretending to be some kind of desperate teenager.

"She's Stan's girlfriend you know" I commented on the obvious even though I knew it was all some kind of sick joke.

"Yeah yeah, I wouldn't touch her with a stick" he stood up "Well bitches, with your permission I'm gonna go smoke a joint in the backyard" and walked away from the table "Hey Craig, move your ass!" I heard him scream in the distance, he sometimes looked like the soul of this high school. Meanwhile Cartman was looking at me inquisitively.

"What"

"So... what were you talking about with Kenny so much?" he asked casually, hiding his interest, sounding dismissive and then taking a bite of his burger.

"Nothing interesting" he looked up.

"About last night's pill?" I smiled.

"Why are you so interested?" he shrugged and took a second bite. I waited for him to chew long enough to talk.

"You're so lame I was surprised" he spoke with half a mouthful. 

"And you? Why didn't you come with us last night? It was that DJ's last night in town."

"Family reunion" 

"Sure..." he took one last bite before he got up.

"Anyway, it's none of your fucking business" and he left me alone at the table. I just finished my meal, the bell rang a few minutes later. These breaks seemed shorter and shorter.

Somehow everything seemed the same as always, my perception seemed correct. I still didn't know what it meant to be on the list and I knew there was something really bad going on there; but, it seemed like one of those latent non-visible problems, the kind you know you can't solve just by having the damn good intentions and arguments to spare about the dysfunctional distribution of power, human decadence and stupidity.

I could use my words to give a whole speech to a large audience, I could move a small group of people, maybe a large one; but, they who does not know history is condemned to repeat it. It would not be something new. Someone opposing the system? right now some modern artist must be 'opposing' it in a gallery in New York, maybe in some street with the gnawed case of his guitar displayed on the floor in the expectation of a tip to acquire supplies processed and controlled by an alpha at the other end of the chain.

And if it did work, if it managed to gain some kind of 'power', if it advanced enough to be a danger to the system in power, it would be crushed like a cancer in its earliest stage.

They don't underestimate, they don't forgive, they don't languish in the face of a massacre of thinkers outside their rational field, or at least that's what history showed because, well, that was human nature, Alpha nature.

* * *

Tuesday... I took the pill and everything went on as usual, just like Wednesday.

Then Thursday came.

At the moment there was only one alpha in the high school, Wendy, and since most of them had already developed it was very unlikely that more would emerge. There were only two Omegas, me and Kenny as far as I knew.

Classes were over, Stan was walking beside me, we were having a stupid conversation when we saw a considerable number of people going in the same direction, a familiar smell filled my senses for a moment and my chest jumped in fear.

"Can you smell that?" he asked beside me, I looked at him with some degree of concern.

"What?"

"An omega" he ended up looking in the direction towards which the crowd seemed to be moving.

"Yes" I murmured, feeling my heartbeat increase at the fact. I saw him inhale, raise his chin to the air as if trying to capture the scent more appropriately.

"Is completely different from Wendy" he concluded, I watched him curiously.

"Is this the first time you've... perceived one?" he nodded "And what's different?" I asked with real curiosity.

"Don't you feel it?" 

"No."

"Well, I guess Wendy's gives off authority and power, people come in by instinct, they feel safe around a potential leader, around someone... superior I guess; it's an aroma that you appreciate and contemplate from afar because you know you can't just... possess it. This aroma on the other hand is the opposite; it does not imply respect, it is an aroma that attracts in another way, because unlike an alpha, it is something that you can consume, subjugate, use and therefore it stimulates more primitive desires" he frowned at his own words "It is curious how nature can be so unpleasant" he observed once again in the direction towards which people kept going "Anyway, you can go and see if you want, they will soon come to pick them up I suppose"

"Pick them up?" he looked at me in confusion.

"You look a little more lost than usual" I smiled.

"Well, until recently I heard about this" he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Are you serious?" I nodded, he smiled with a certain degree of empathy "They'll come and take them away, I don't know where... there are rumors that they're taking him away with some alpha that requires... their services I guess" he shrugged "Don't you remember last year when an ambulance came?"

"Was it a Omega?" I asked in surprise, he nodded.

"He was completely destroyed in the bathroom between an Alpha and several Betas before the authorities arrived" he sighed "It's as if they completely forget their humanity as soon as they are exposed to that smell, and since it's such a common thing you can't really reprimand them because it's their nature, and unless the Omega is linked to an Alpha, they can't 'avoid' it" there was clear displeasure in his voice, as well as helplessness. I smiled with relief at his posture, remembering the many reasons why he was my best friend.

"There's something I have to tell you, St..."

"Fight, fight!" the cry ran down the hall echoing among the locals, as the degree of people going in that direction increased exponentially. We exchanged glances and decided to go.

As we approached the end of the corridor the number of people increased. We struggled through the crowd in the courtyard.

"I can't see shit" I muttered forcing my way into the multitude, a cheer resounded from above, shouts and screams demanding more were heard, moving around something or someone, a strong aroma emanating from the center, the omega must be fighting "Do you see anything?" I asked Stan.

"It's Kenny..." my chest stopped cold at his words...

"What?"

"He's defending the Omega I think, Cartman's helping him."

"The fatass?" Why the hell would Cartman do that? After pushing a few people around on the adrenaline rush I saw the scene. Bebe cornered against the fence in the courtyard was the one giving off that scent, shaking in place, horror bathing her face as she shrank into place feeling completely helpless and vulnerable.

"You touch one hair on her head, and I'll impale you on the fucking flagpole, you fucking pigs!" Kenny screamed in anger. I rarely, if ever, saw him like that; on the other hand, Cartman was breathing heavily beside him, wiping away a trickle of blood from a recent fight, saving his threats for the moment when he could make them happen, probably making a list of whoever had touched him and then, unlike Kenny, making real his threat and impaling them on the student flagpole.

I watched the men in front of them, at least five or six... betas.

"We have to help..." I looked for Stan, but by the time I saw him, he was already standing next to the other two. I smiled thankfully at his conviction and advanced to his side.

A flurry of cheers for the reinforcements ran out and the Beta's who wanted to get to Bebe threw themselves red in anger at our support, which they said was absurd, for an Omega.

And chaos took over the courtyard. Phones raised in the air recording the fight in an act of morbidity and, shouts urging hatred and violence as if we had just gone back at least a millennium, left me displeased.

The first punch flew, Kenny knocked out one of those who tried to get close in one move and screams of admiration flew through the air. The four of them kept going despite the fallen one, I didn't have time to see the others because by the time I reacted one of those sons of bitches had punched my abdomen. The air flowed out of me but I got it back fast enough to knee him in the crotch. I was afraid for a moment that someone would yell at me that low blows weren't fair, but the warning never came.

The guy threw himself on the ground holding his parts and I smiled contentedly to see the next one coming. He threw a fist against my face so out of nowhere that I barely managed to raise my arms to cover myself. His knuckles hit the back of my forearms and I was going to return the favor but...

"What the hell is going on here?!" a sound that more than just vocal joints seemed like a thunderclap stunned the crowd, I saw the body of the beta in front of me freeze for a second before fitting the fist that was directed at it from me. Not only him, I saw how every person around me seemed to have been influenced by the same effect. 

The only sound that pierced the silence of his voice was the sound of my knuckles against the cheekbone of that beta followed by its weight against the ground. 

All eyes were directed almost immediately to the source, Wendy was watching us in disgust as she moved through the crowd, all under complete silence... I looked around confused by the sudden tension. 

What the hell was that?

"What's going on?" she approached Stan who threw a guy off his neck, he watched Bebe.

"They wanted..." he tried to look up the word but couldn't find it.

"I understand" said Wendy of course aware of the essence to omega. She observed the group of betas involved in this with overwhelming repudiation and then set her eyes on her friend. She approached her with delicacy and leaned in her direction "Excuse me Bebe, I was at a council meeting" part of the crowd started to disperse, the sons of bitches who were fighting a moment ago as if their lives depended on it were the first to flee.

I looked at Kenny, he smiled in my direction victorious, although his smile was somewhat atrophied due to the eye that would probably be extremely swollen in a while, the broken lip and the bleeding nose.

"Thank you for coming," he said to me with real gratitude. Cartman let go of air annoyed at Wendy's presence and started to walk away, Kenny followed when he saw that apparently they didn't need to be here anymore after a quick goodbye.

I turned once more to Wendy who was holding Bebe quite close, of course she didn't seem to mind... there was a strange sexual tension going on there.

"Wendy" called her Stan. She jumped in place and walked away from Bebe as fast as she could.

"Sorry, sorry" she laughed underneath ashamedly holding her nose "Go home, I'll talk about all this with the principal" Stan helped Bebe to her feet. I watched curiously as both Stan and Wendy seemed unable to take their eyes off her.

"Well, I'll call dad to pick me up, see you tomorrow then," she muttered, said a weak goodbye and started to walk away slowly and awkwardly, probably too dazed by the situation.

"Will she be all right?" I asked worriedly.

"She doesn't live far away" commented Stan.

After that we left, Wendy stayed to do... whatever an alpha student president does and we walked home as usual, it was too late to take the bus.

In the process we passed a number of police officers in the business district handing out flyers. Some overloaded banners on the platform about the ban on the use of odor suppressants caught my attention and nervousness started running through my chest.

I took a deep breath trying to forget the events and the bombardment of information, and focused my attention on Stan and some questions I still had unanswered.

"Aren't you afraid that at some point Wendy... will decide to leave with an omega?" he was silent for a few seconds. Hadn't I thought about it?

"That's not possible, omegas are treated like... a pet basically. An Alpha can't 'go' with something that society classifies as less than human, it's like someone out of nowhere decided to marry their dog" my chest shrank from the description, I kept silent because I really didn't know what to say to it, I had so many arguments about how that was immoral, stupid and retrograde but... the world seemed to agree with those ideas and therefore it felt useless to even discuss it.

"I thought there was a code of conduct" I finally said.

"Yes, a set of non-existent statutes for alphas and betas. Although there are certain 'punishable' acts against Omegas, they cannot marry Alphas or Betas, or ask for rights over the children they procreate or... well, many things" he sighed "So no, I'm not afraid that Wendy will leave with an Omega”

As the days went by this became more unreal and rough, I knew I was living in a shitty world but god, I felt up to my neck in a dunghill, a dunghill that people seemed to accept without a word at all.

"How come everybody knows so much about it except for me?" I asked humorously trying to break the tension. He shrugged.

"My parents talked to me about it years ago, then I researched it myself because I found it extremely absurd and... I guess they don't teach in high schools about it because it's only in college that you have to learn about it. At the university the hierarchy is more strictly classified, mainly the alphas, because certain careers are exclusive to them"

"But if Omegas can't get into college they can't get to know..."

"That's most likely the point, isn't it?" he finished with bitterness and I understood his point... a subjugated people without education regarding their nature and the reasons why they are subjugated is an easily controllable people.

As soon as I left Stan near his house and went on to mine, it was enough to open the door to run up to my room and lock myself in.

I felt like I was suffocating. Now that I was in the solitude of my room and could organize the ideas that I put aside because of the adrenaline of the situation... I felt sick, sick of everything and everyone.

How could they accept something like that? I had already answered that from the beginning, it was inherent to society. From the moment we are born until the moment we die, we are exposed to a destiny imposed by our context. Even at the time, Plato, Socrates and Aristotle did not question the enslavement of what I suppose were Omegas, they considered it normal since they were used to it.

This was just a more elaborate reproduction of the system, Beta, alpha or omega was just another way of calling it but... but that did not justify such a loss of reasoning, such a degeneration on the part of the human being, such a... degradation of reason.

Something was very wrong with society to treat someone with the same cognitive, rational, emotional and other capabilities as... as less than them just because they have a different set of characteristics.

* * *

And here we were at the bus stop, Friday morning and all four of us with at least one piece of gauze stuck to our faces, but proud in some way because of it.

Once again I had not been able to sleep very well the night before, not only because of the noise, or because of the unpleasant thoughts that bombarded me every second, but also because I had been suffering from this tedious fever since morning. I had only worn a thin sweater because of the heat.

"They took Bebe" Kenny said out of the blue, and everyone was silent for a few seconds processing the sentence. I felt my chest tremble at the thought of it and found his look, he smiled kindly, as if he wanted to reassure me but...

"Where?" finally someone asked, Stan.

"No idea, it was the same people who took last year's omega" and we didn't talk about it anymore. We got on the bus and the first thing I did was follow Kenny, I sat next to him.

"You said there was a list" he nodded.

"Before there was a waiting time, they took a few days, weeks, even months to take them according to my parents and other old people who have talked to me about the subject, but lately they take them the next day" I shrank in my seat thinking about the situation, maybe an increased demand for omegas? it sounded like I was talking about items for sale but it seemed the most rational thing to do, and what was the reason for that? no idea, but it made me really nervous "Everything is going to be ok Kyle" I nodded in my place trying to calm down.

"This is fucked up... really fucked up"

"I know, but there's no way to fight it, the alphas are too far away, the only way to reach them is to... get on the list I guess"

"God" I covered my face feeling impotence rise up to my throat. Now more than ever I was grateful to have had Kenny around that night.

The first class went on as usual, I slept half of it and spent the other half flapping a notebook at me, Cartman was gone for some reason, he must have left while I was sleeping but who cares, it was hot as hell and everyone was walking around in their fucking coats.

I went out into the hallway for a drink at the end of class and I remembered the feelings, an almost exact reproduction of the discomfort of that night at the club and my heart went down to my stomach... Kenny had told me about this, the day I was supposed to be locked up...

"Fuck me" I whispered as shaking ran through my hands, I left the corridor and walked towards the classroom, I took my notebooks to get out of there, but come on, if there are no obstacles life wouldn't be fun, would it?

The heat eventually transfigured into a strange sensation in my lower abdomen, my legs lost strength with every step I took, and my throat and tongue burned with dryness. I pulled out my sweater to stay in no more than a shirt passing through the people around me, feeling some degree of relief at the sight of my locker.

"Hey Kyle, are you ok?" Stan was next to me, our lockers were relatively close.

"No... do you know where Kenny is?" my voice sounded hoarse, so... alien to me that for a moment I was scared. He came up to me worried and I backed off almost instinctively.

"No, I don't know, do you have a fever? You look extremely red" He didn't seem to mind because he slid his hand across my forehead to confirm my fever. The simple touch made a stream of neediness pour down on me like a bucket of cold water, and I pushed him away instinctively.

"No" I immediately murmured with regret over the push. He looked at me in surprise at the act "Sorry, it can be contagious" I was losing, I was losing to something and I didn't know exactly what and it was fucking me up, shit, it was fucking me up big time "Sorry, I really need Kenn..." something was starting to grow down without my consent, it was just touching my forehead and... "Kenny" I finally said feeling dizzy, more because of the anxiety this situation was causing me than the symptoms themselves. I needed someone to get me out of here and he was the only one I felt I could trust right now.

"Okay, I'll go get him, you wait here" and he walked away worried, the halls were starting to get empty because of the class that was coming up but one look or another stuck on me accuser.

I felt bad, very bad; like a sheep in wolf's clothing, clothing that was about to tear, unable to contain my libido.

I wanted something, a thirst that came from the top of my belly to my chest and went up my throat; but I knew that no matter how much I drank, it would not be satisfied.

I leaned against the lockers and slid until I felt myself touching the floor, the aromas becoming extremely sharp, I looked for one in particular but nothing, there was nothing... and I didn't want to move, I felt that the slightest touch from a stranger would open the pandora's box that Stan was about to open just by touching my forehead.

But then this smell came to me, two sources, and I recognized one.

Wendy, it was sweet, laden with femininity, a scent that came up through your nostrils and played in the back of your throat like it was overflowing with honey and pudding and... then came down to obscene, unspeakable parts. Then there was the other source; unknown but its nature was evident, indescribable but similar to a dark and bitter chocolate mixed with rum or whiskey, so strange and intoxicating that unlike the first one it was only necessary to feel it a couple of times to know that it was the ideal one. The sweet and I never got along too well.

My need hit my last rational barrier in a brutal assault that almost brought it down, and I stood up, regaining every last ounce of strength for that little hint of a fragrance that was completely filling me up.

I looked around; as if every damn thing had ceased to exist my senses had merely focused on that essence... I needed it, I really needed it and step by step I followed it because it was the only rational way right now that seemed to exist to appease that unbearable thirst, that fucking unease and I wanted it, God.

With each breath a stream came down my spine, danced in my belly leaving behind a trail of fire that felt like burning and ended up in a strange sensation that I would qualify as pain but... it was not unbearable, it was a twisted and intoxicating feeling that asked for real pain in return.

I followed that sweet thread that seemed to form in front of me, an indistinguishable trace that called to me as if I belonged to that someone by right.

I felt sensations hitting me, my consciousness recovered enough to see me halfway through the school's backyard, a strong breeze sheathed my skin in seconds and snow began to fall covering part of the wooden benches of the place. My whole environment was isolated by the class that had just begun and... my skin was boiling, my sense of smell was searching insistently in the breeze for the smell that I lost from it and an almost irrational frustration filled me as I looked around exorbitantly; hearing even the slightest oscillation of the feathers of a flock of birds fighting the wind currents in the distance, visualizing in the distant, through the blizzard and snow falling with such clarity that the very white of the snow seemed to have acquired a thousand more tones.

"Where" I whispered.

I heard someone call my name in the distance but I didn't give a shit... I moved forward with no idea where to look for that smell once again. I had to find it, God, I had to find it.

I don't know how much further I went, but there it was once again, I had left the institute behind a while ago; but what did it matter, if the smell coming back was enough to make me forget about any kind of repercussion on my actions.

I searched among the trees that were dry because of the constant winter for some recognisable figure. Nearer and nearer, and...

"Kahl?" my whole world stopped making sense for a moment... it had stopped making sense since Sunday but... this was beyond me.

"Cartman?" I articulated with difficulty in a guttural tone sucking in the aroma to affirm its origin... it was him but... "You're a beta" I confirmed, he nodded.

"Bravo, captain obvious" and I walked over. Our difference in height was almost non-existent so I had to bend over a bit to look for his neck "What the hell are you..."

"Stay still" I ordered, and although I was aware that he would probably not pay attention to my words, he did so to my surprise.

The aroma permeated me completely, like a drug satiating my needs and in turn instigating misunderstanding and hatred for the situation itself. This was not possible, it smelled like Alpha, I could feel it... my dick could feel it.

"Would you stop sniffing me like a fucking dog?" and I walked away "My ass is freezing out here and you're wearing a T-shirt, are you an idiot or..."

"Shut up" he frowned in irritation... this was bad, this was very bad, fucking bad.

"The fuck is your problem" I had to go, run away, if... yeah, that would work, if he didn't touch me... if I didn't smell him anymore...

I immediately covered my nose and backed off, he looked at me like a fucking freak and I didn't blame him, I felt like one right now.

"Are you…" and I tripped over something in my confusion, I fell on my ass in the snow and as I put my hands in reaction to the ground a branch stuck in the palm of my hand, but the pain was in the background right now, everything was in the background, in my head there was nothing but a conflict between asking him to fuck me here and now and running away.

I saw him smiling amusingly at my condition and hatred almost won the fight to get away.

"God, what the fuck is wrong with you?" he asked with a soft laugh "Did you find mushrooms or some shit like that? that's what you get for following Kenny's shit" he held out his hand in my direction, the smell filled me up one more time and my lust reacted.

I watched the hand feeling the temptation to approach me, take it and breathe from it, drink from it... lick it, surround it with my tongue and... I took it, he tried to pull me to help me stand up but instead I pulled him.

He let go a scream of surprise losing his balance, managing to stop part of his fall with his free hand and knees to avoid putting all his damn weight on me. His heat covered me completely and the pain and the snow wetting my back was nothing compared to that and his fragrance... he was an alpha, he had to be an alpha, that or… 

"Ey! What the..." I covered his mouth with my hand, blood from the recent wound leaving a trace of carmine on his pale skin. Two wells of infinite blue in their beauty detailed me in confusion and I couldn't help but smile about it, anxious to make them my property. 

I remembered Stan's words. 

_ A scent you can only observe from afar since you cannot possess it _ .

But I could, and I would.

  
  
  



	2. Abnormal

How old was I when I happened to find a really vague article about it? Or was it a porno that Kenny showed me? Two Omega women fucking... was that it? 

I sighed as I took one step in front of the other mechanically in the direction of home, looking up at the dark sky and feeling my feet getting stuck in the snow for every fucking footprint I left behind. 

Would I have been about thirteen or fourteen? Yeah... I think so. 

Kenneth woke up as an omega, and my mother helped him. 

Liane never wanted to talk about it, it wasn't until after the night Kenneth woke up, that she finally decided to open her damn mouth. She was an Omega too. 

In my innocence, rather questionable but still present innocence, I didn't see a flaw in it. I thought,  _ She's an Omega, she's good for procreation and well, given her sexual needs that would explain a lot _ . The problem arose when she told me about the inability of the Omegas to have a right to their offspring.

" _ Unable to have control over their children? _ " 

" _ That's right, honey... _ " I remember that this gloomy air covered her face. The make-up, slight but present, was not enough to camouflage the years that seemed to add that simple statement to her motherly face. 

" _ Why? _ "

" _ I don't know... there's a lot of things I don't know and that's one of many but... but I didn't want you to be taken away from me so... _ " 

" _ What did you do? _ " 

" _ Remove my gonads, honey. Some of the drugs you see me... consume, are synthetic hormones because there is no longer a gland that produces them. That helps me to go unnoticed, to be accepted”  _

Mutilation... as if they were just dogs or as if they were sick. 

I took deep breaths trying to avoid certain memories. I yawned in the air as I watched the swirl of steam rise into the sky and get lost in the slight wind blowing. I was going to take out my cell phone to confirm the time but two familiar figures caught my attention.

"Hey, what do I see, a couple of fags..." I saw the Jew tighten up in his place and I just had to look around a little bit to find the reason, his and Kenny's palms were passing between them what looked like a strange white pill somehow familiar "Wow, I didn't know you were picking up Kenny's bad habits" but the poor fucker was into so much shit that identifying something specific in all that stuff was pretty difficult. 

There was this uncommon closeness between them, I assumed it was because of the context, but whatever, it wasn't my problem, if they decided to fuck in public out of nowhere, good for their dicks. 

After that I just went straight home, maybe I would investigate tomorrow, I am not one of those who let a potential blackmail for the Jew go by so easily; but I was so exhausted from this shitty day, that I would leave it for another time. 

I opened the door, there were no lights except the flashing light of the TV reflecting against the wall, my mother asleep on the sofa covered with one of her blankets. 

"Liane" 

Sometimes I wonder why I consider this system inadequate. I've always seen it as natural for some people to be inferior to others, and I must admit that despite my mother's testimony, a certain part of me was anxious to awaken my alpha nature; the problem is that the average age for these hormones to start being produced is between fourteen and thirteen. 

I was already sixteen and nothing had happened... I was just a boring, unfruitful beta. 

I had researched, it is true that there were particular cases where there were delays in puberty, very rare cases; but, in such a situation they were very likely to be 'abnormal'. If for some reason someone in our course 'woke up' this year or next, they had a high probability of being 'sick' according to the system. 

At least the Jew was, too, a beta, and apparently every damn person around us... as if at some point we had stopped being special and the system had opened our eyes to the boring, monotonous structure we had to fit in with. 

Anyway, the point is that if I was alpha I probably wouldn't have given a shit, I wouldn't have even tried to change anything because the benefits a shitty smell would give me were worth it and come on, I've never been a fucking hippie activist... Wendy was and she seemed comfortable with her position, I even heard that she planned to apply to one of the system's favorite careers for her kind. Nothing new. 

Maybe she would try to change something, it wouldn't be a surprise; but, raising gay marches and giving gay speeches about human rights, equality, equity and so on didn't seem to do much good anymore. 

She was smart, she would probably aspire to rise high enough to have a voice with enough courage and power to do something about it; but, most likely her voice would be silenced. An alpha on her own could not stand up to the rest of her kind, she was but a minority among such a degraded species. 

"Huh?" she moved lazily into place, slowly opening her eyes, her gaze fixed on me, and concern camouflaged in a gentle smile covered her face. She got up " How'd it go, honey?" 

"Good as always" I murmured boringly, dropping my cloth coat on the couch. Her eyebrows bent over in concern. 

"Isn't it dangerous?" she asked, like for the thousandth time. Always the same thing after arriving from those stupid meetings. 

"Not yet" she frowned in anger at an almost childish smile on my part that I could not help.

"What do you mean, not yet?" I shrugged at the anger in her voice as I walked up the stairs. 

"I'm exhausted, I'm going to sleep." 

"Eric..." I decided not to listen anymore before I got lost on the way to the stairs. 

* * *

Days always tend to be boring, especially since this boredom was attributed to the concept of beta.

God, what the fuck did I do to you to deserve that middle strip that's neither shit nor food? That shitty limbo in which you wander around with no reason to live or... anything? That piece of vegetable in the middle of the sandwich that nobody wants? 

I didn't like the idea of being an Omega, but it sure would have been more interesting than being this crap; my mother had achieved amazing things just by opening her legs... it's not like I wanted to open my legs... anyway, I'm babbling too much. 

Tuesday, Wednesday...

Wednesday... 

Oh adorable life, sometimes God smiles at me, that smile of complicity that lets me know exactly what to do with the favor that the fat man in heaven gives me from time to time. 

I was coming from high school, I had decided not to take the bus because Wendy was taking it and Wendy was a presumptuous whore who was giving off those fucking hormones like they were ecstasy at a party. 

I sighed in annoyance as I passed by the business district, brigades of... police impersonators handing out strange leaflets. One came up to me and I didn't hide my annoyed expression. 

"Good afternoon" I continued to walk, deliberately ignoring him, the fucker followed me with a pamphlet in hand "Have you heard of odour suppressors?" I looked without real interest at the paper he was trying to pass me and something out of nowhere clicked. White pills on the cover and red text as a warning sign were enough to make a smile of expectation spread across my face. 

"No" I said, getting interested, stopping in my place. Those pills maybe... 

I looked up. 

"What are they about?" he smiled pleased at my sudden attention. 

"They are pills that hide the natural aroma of omegas, the use or carrying of these substances is illegal, we are fighting against their use because of the consequences they can have on the reproductive system blablablabla" I wrinkled my nose in annoyance. 

"Yes yes" I took the pamphlet from his hand and walked away from there. Fucking cops, did they even analyze their own words? They looked like old tape recorders playing what their masters taught them... betas, betas everywhere. Fuck. 

I detailed the information in my hands. From the cover a red number stood out which I assumed was the phone number of the group in charge of 'recruiting' the Omegas among us, demanding to be dialed in case a user or carrier of these suppressors was found. 

Well, if I was right this could be something really interesting.

And then came Thursday and there was a little inconsistency with the brochure. The pills were supposed to hide the smell of omegas but... 

"What the hell is going on here?!" that horrendous screech from satan's own anus or his fucking mother will know where, ran across the courtyard like a painfully loud bang. I snapped my tongue in annoyance as everyone around us froze at Wendy's voice except for a few, including myself and for some reason the Jew who took advantage of the paralysis of the unhappy beta in front of him to strike one last blow... 

I looked at him in confusion, if he was an Omega then it was impossible for him not to be affected by 'the voice' of an Alpha. In that case, it probably wasn't one of those pills, it must have been some of the crap Kenny was on. 

What a disappointment. 

* * *

Friday. 

They had taken Bebe and of course there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. It was obvious that it would happen, it was always like that lately. 

I watched bored as the chalk came and went along the class board like... I don't know, I wanted to leave. 

I looked sideways at the empty desk of the noisy blonde, a vase with a few white lilies on the desk as if she had died or something. Fucking hippies and their shitty symbolism as protest, like that's gonna change anything.

Then I looked next to me, the Jew asleep at the next desk, a thin line of spittle sliding down the corner of his half-open lips. It had been like that all week, and I was quite surprised; usually the situation was the other way round. I formulated to draw some shit on him one more time but my cell phone rang. I looked at the board to confirm that the fat teacher was still writing to read the message. 

_ I'm waiting in front of the school.  _

I sighed in annoyance, I was too lazy to go, but at least it was better than being here. 

I took my notebook and pens, took one last look at the Jew and smiled amusedly at how ridiculous he looked before giving some poor excuse to leave the class. 

The halls were empty, routine noise was coming from the distant classrooms and... I yawned, this place was a potential sleeping pill or some shit like that. 

A door opened, 'teacher's room' said on the little plaque on the frame. My gaze then collided with Kenny's who was wiping his lips for some reason and then raising his eyebrows in surprise. 

I looked at him puzzled, why the fuck was he...

"Shhh" he hissed. He raised his index finger to cover his lips and winked at me as if this were just another secret to keep. I rolled my eyes and went straight on. I had seen nothing. 

After putting everything in my locker I went to the front door, taking as much time as I could because, well, I liked to be a son of a bitch from time to time. 

The cold hit as soon as I took a step outside the establishment. A black, static van on the road with tinted windows and another car behind it with the same features were waiting. His ability to try to keep a low profile was as plausible as Kenny's dick when he saw the English literature teacher. 

The door opened when I was close enough and I climbed in, relieved by the heat inside. It didn't take long to get going. 

"Look" a folder with documents was extended in my direction. 

I looked up in the mirror, the driver was driving with this boring expression and the woman next to me was looking forward to me checking whatever she had given me.

"Last week's speech was impeccable. This weekend there will be a congress of the alternative right in Aspen, we will hold a series of conferences on equal opportunities in an ethno-nationalist context" I nodded observing what I assumed was the schedule, my name as a speaker at several of these events; also a flight ticket scheduled for tonight in business class and information on the hotel where I will be staying. 

"I see" I didn't hide the boredom in my voice. The woman sighed at my deliberate behavior. 

"Pass it on" she instructed the driver who simply took a bag from the co-pilot's seat to give it to her. She extended it in my direction "The game you wanted, right?" I smiled victoriously as I opened it to confirm the delivery. I hadn't gone out in Steam yet and God, how much I was going to enjoy rubbing it in Kahl's face. 

"Perfect" I confirmed satisfied. 

After a dull conversation about details and approaches to conferences, and more shit like that, the car finally stopped.

The driver came out to open my door. I grunted down, if they weren't going to take me anywhere I'd be better off staying in front of the fucking high school. I got out anyway, this woman was an alpha and her hormones had completely saturated the little space, my sense of smell was not as sensitive as the others but I could feel it nonetheless; either she was close to her heat, or she wanted to make it clear who was in charge. One or the other my conclusion was the same. 

Bitch.

I left the car, looking at the road I would have to take to get to the institute, while I put the folder with papers in the bag where the game was, then I detailed this small thicket of trees gnawed by the winter... I took the second one, quicker. 

It was terribly cold and the wind was blowing violently; probably during the night there would be some storm or whatever. 

I walked with difficulty through the snow that seemed to increase in volume, even tripping over a couple of shitty sticks. God, I should have gone the long way, with all this crap it was costing me the same. 

I saw a figure in the middle of the blizzard approaching, I looked at it and tried to shape it. Should I turn back? Sure enough, it was some homeless guy begging for change, although if it was, the smell of piss and glue would have reached me by now. 

He looked exorbitant and lost, walking with difficulty, clumsily and slowly. I kept my distance, seeing how he seemed to be looking for something; and the hair, which in the breeze seemed colourless, took on a reddish hue at the approach. Was he in a T-shirt? 

"Kahl?" He turned to my voice and his expression was hilarious, as if he'd just seen Hitler himself or whatever. 

"Cartman?" His voice sounded thicker than usual, he seemed to acquire about ten more years in his tone "You're a beta" yes, and the water is wet. 

"Bravo, captain obvious" the jew had outdone himself today. 

He advanced in a nimble movement unbecoming of him to plunge his nose against my coat collar. 

"What the hell are you..."

"Stay still" he ordered and I remembered the alpha from a moment ago. I still had her scent, however faint, stuck in the back of my nose. Could he smell it? 

I felt his warm breath piercing the cloth, breathing heavily against me. This was making me a little uncomfortable. 

"Would you stop sniffing me like a fucking dog?" He listened to my surprise, taking his distance to watch me with a strange mixture of emotions on his face; everything but discomfort from the cold that was making "My ass is freezing out here and you're wearing a T-shirt, are you an idiot or..." 

"Shut up" there was frustration in his tone. An internal conflict, of some fucking kind, ran through his expression. 

"The fuck is your problem" he lowered his eyes for a moment and raised them again to cover his nose. What the fuck was wrong with him? Pure hate danced into the green diarrhea color of his iris and began to back away awkwardly. I watched him curiously for a moment, I didn't understand a damn thing about this situation. I really needed an answer "Are you…" 

His eyebrows rose for a moment and the hand covering his face stopped to try and break the fall... for he fell backwards on a branch in the right place. I couldn't help laughing about it, seeing as the hand he used to cover his nose had stuck between a partition of the branch he had stumbled upon. I wrinkled my nose at his pain, but to my surprise he didn't seem to mind, the cold had already dulled his senses or something.

"God, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I continued to laugh softly as he didn't even seem to care about the wound himself "Did you find mushrooms or some shit like that? That's what you get for following Kenny's shit" that was at least the most viable reason at this point.

And I reached out my hand in his direction. I knew he most likely wouldn't take it though.

He watched it silently, his gaze seemed to darken into pure hate and for a moment I thought he was going to bite it; but no, to my surprise he took it and... let's say that sometimes I tend to forget that he can be a bigger son of a bitch than I am when he proposes. 

With uncommon strength he managed to turn my weight against me, drawing me towards him in one quick movement while his fingers were buried between my hand with such verve that it even hurt. I lost my balance, managing to put my knees and my hand to avoid falling completely on him. Lucky for me, I was stopped by snow and not by branches as in the case of the Jew. 

"Ey! What the..." I tried to spit with hatred but a cold sensation covered my lips. A metallic tone seeped into my mouth and I realized, delayed by the surprise of the act, that his fingers bathed in blood from the recent wound prevented me from speaking. 

Once again there was this conflict on his face, but it seemed to diminish until it left dilated pupils in... I don't know, I had never seen that expression on him so it was impossible for me to read him. His lips were half open wanting to utter something while the breeze continued to whip like a bitch. He was completely wet, his shirt, his hair, the snow was not disappearing so fast when it touched his skin because of how cold it must have been. 

He bit his lip in frustration and his hand left my face to go down to... my dick. 

"What the..." but before I could say anything or walk away he found what he was apparently looking for; my balls "... Fuck are you..." 

He frowned in supplication, as if he were about to do something terrible, and he pressed them so hard that a stream of absurd pain went up through my pelvis to my cervical spine causing a moan of uncontrollable pain to come out of my mouth. 

"Fuck!" I tried to get out of his grip, roll away.

"Kyle!" someone shouted in the distance and he finally let them go. I rolled away from him, feeling snow on my back melting and going through my coat. 

"GOD!" I screamed in pain covering them as if that would ease the pain somewhat "I'm going to remove your red balls you son of a bitch!" 

"Help me Kenny" whispered Kahl beside me, ignoring me of course. I looked at him sideways, radiating hatred as he tried to get away from me. I wanted to reach out and wring his damn neck to quell the rage that was starting to pour out of me but... 

"Cartman what the hell were you doing to him?!" I looked down at the pair of old boots, following the tight, deliberately torn, shit-colored pants and the thick orange coat with some carefully sewn patches until I found a clearly disapproving look from... Kenny. 

"Me?!" I asked incredulously unable to stand up right now, I was too busy watching the life of my offspring flash before my eyes "I didn't do shit, it was that fucking Jew who took my balls as a dumbbell!"

He completely ignored me by rushing to Kahl. 

"Is he bleeding?!" he asked leaning over, detailing the wound on his hand. He turned to me once more, scowling in complete disgust at... I don't know, the victim here was me! 

"Yeah, a bleeding Jew, what a fucking problem!" I grunted in annoyance, managing to sit in my place, feeling my pelvis crying in pain from the sudden pressure of my pants. I bit my lip to contain some kind of pitiful sound. 

"Just get me out of here, I don't think I can... anymore" he mumbled in surrender, his voice no more than a mournful murmur. Kenny took off his coat to put it on him, not before taking off his wet T-shirt in a hurry. I looked at the bag I had dropped in the middle of the situation, right where my knees had hit. Fuck me. 

"God, I'm gonna kill you!" I screamed trying to get to my feet, and I would have if my lower half wasn't agonizing right now. I turned to the Jew and felt my anger levels reach this dangerous peak. His gaze hit me as Kenny helped him to his feet, complete disgust in it. 

"Go rape chickens or something, you fat fuck" and what the fuck did that mean? Was he suggesting that I wanted to fuck the Jew? What? He started walking away with Kahl. 

"I wouldn't do the Jew the goddamn favor in a thousand fucking years!" I screamed in anger, as whores always do, judging by their condition. 

I let go a puff of disbelief saturated with anger as I finished standing, watching their figures get lost as I felt my face burn with the desire to grab them both and shove a Glock up their asses and pull the trigger until I was sick of it. I took a breath, it never went well when my plans were influenced by childish resentments. I'd find a way to fuck them over. 

After regaining my composure, resigning myself to my possible castration, and feeling my chest cracking a bit from the loss of my beloved early access to the possible game of the year, I decided to go to school. 

The Jew and Kenny didn't go into any classes after that apparently, and of course they weren't in the cafeteria at lunchtime. 

Why had Kahl acted that way? I had confirmed the day before that he wasn't an Omega but... he seemed to be tracking some kind of scent, and the only one I considered present was that of that Alpha. 

That didn't make sense. 

Maybe Kenny had given him something or whatever, and had had adverse reactions to it; the poor fucker on the other hand left the teacher's office this morning for some reason... god, what was wrong with that couple of fags. 

Even though the video game disc had been completely destroyed, the documents were not damaged in any way to my fortune. 

I got home, packed a little bag, and then left to catch a bus to Denver. 

Liane wasn't there, I left her a really vague note about my whereabouts and how I wouldn't be in South Park all weekend. I was almost curious about the number of men she would bring home while I was gone. 

* * *

After the trip a car similar to the one from the previous day was waiting among the many taxis and vans at the entrance of Pitkin airport. A snowstorm similar to the one in Denver seemed to be approaching, the flight had taken a little less than an hour so it must have been no more than nine or ten o'clock at night. 

I walked to the car, opened the door and walked in to find a bored driver in the front seat. 

Why was I here? 

Like I said, if I'd been an alpha I wouldn't give a shit, I'd almost naturally assimilate the existence of people inferior to me, like the Jew or the poor fucker, even Wendy because she's a bitch... but it wasn't like that. 

I'm not the kind of person who aspires too high, as I once said, life goes so fast that we should just do whatever we want; restrictions, responsibilities, and ties of any kind have never been my strong suit because I'm so lazy and disastrous at keeping up with it that I end up throwing it all away. Don't get me wrong, I'm perfect at almost everything I do, the problem is that maintaining it takes efforts that I don't really give a shit about. 

Beta, more than a hierarchy, from my perspective represented the expression that condensed everything that was involved in being boring. 

As kids the possibilities were endless, the boundaries still uncertain and the responsibilities so vague that we used to be scared of a few math operations for the next morning. I could do whatever I wanted, be the CEO of a crack baby company, have my own vigilante group with me as the leader, win a platinum disc... that Christian crap, I could... do so many things and it didn't matter; because, in the end, I was free from social constraints. 

Being a beta was like walking through a gray area, you can't go into the dark, but you can't go into the light either because neither end belongs to you; and I wouldn't really be bothered, of course, if it wasn't because I couldn't apply to certain careers, address certain people, acquire certain property, have certain rights, cross certain lines... and adult life in general was boring but this... this would make it even worse. 

I could settle, have a shitty job in some small office and relieve my stress by spending my salary on the console of the moment and their respective games, but somehow that idea... you'll be surprised by this, terrified me. 

Yes yes, the great Eric T. Cartman 'terrified'? although I wouldn't say terrified... the problem is that I knew myself well enough to know that I wouldn't last too long in a monotonous context. And I couldn't help it, I really couldn't help this gray perception of the world and it was screwing me up because I knew it would be hard to fit into those little cubicles at work... and not because I was a shitty pariah or a maverick, but because I felt they couldn't contain my genius in the long run. 

So back to the question. Why was I here? 

Because I wasn't going to let some son of a bitch with supposedly superior characteristics tell me I was inferior by limiting my desires.

I was going to disappear them one by one because, well, they were a small percentage of the population, and something one of my favorite characters in history has taught me is that with enough charisma and the right pressure point, you can lead any fucking minority to the holocaust.

* * *

I took a deep breath looking at my watch, in a few minutes I'd be on stage. 

I rarely prepared these speeches, which more than arguments or illustrations of some kind of reality, were only speeches biased by the interests of those who brought me here. And what difference did it make? If the listeners wanted that in turn; engrossed in their racism, they just wanted someone to prove them right by satisfying their need for superiority, and I was really good at satisfying that particular kind of need. 

I was an example of the average youth, interested in changing something; those rare specimens that are about to enter adulthood and actually do seem to be interested in the reality of the country. I' ve been doing this for about... three months now. After my start, the speeches seemed to have acquired a degree of importance as the number of militants in this movement had doubled. 

I moved forward when my name was called and applause erupted to the point of making me smile in praise. Several people I had met over the past few months had stood up to euphorically welcome what they said was going to be a 'promising leader'. 

And yes, they knew I was a boring beta, after all their previous leader was too. 

The darkened auditorium fell silent after a few minutes, I cleared my throat and placed the microphone at my level. 

"Let's talk about organizations, people" I began calmly, no one looking away or whispering. Everyone was looking forward to what was to come "Many of you in this room have depended on one, worked in one, created one and... have been part of one. 

As inherent parts of the reality that surrounds us, they constantly grow around us, swallowing up any kind of individualism, criticism, or existence that is alien to their interests. 

An organization is a complex structure composed of two extremes of a balance, order and chaos, and how can one exist alongside the other? 

What is chaos if not the reality to which we are constantly exposed? A series of changing processes generated by a society that in turn is in constant transformation, grows, evolves; therefore, order is the need to generate a structure that is coupled to change, a structure that is forced to evolve at the same time" I took a breath. 

"This organization then requires a contrast, we live in a system, ladies and gentlemen, that seeks a non-existent perfectionism, that is sustained under the bases of a series of assumptions that we follow blindly because they bombard us with notions of political correctness, of the ideal, of these assumptions of equality..." I let go a soft laugh at the last statement "Equality?" I drank from the glass of water on the podium "Equality my ass" murmurs in agreement ran through the crowd. 

"During the Russia of the 1990s there was a system embedded in strict and meticulous patterns stipulated by the upper echelon, or alphas as you know. Such a severe system generated a degree of anarchy at the lower levels because of the need to make it work, for the system itself was imperfect in its rigidity; of course, the tolerance of the Russian people was also at stake.

How, then, can the people make something so broken work? Something that does not fit their changing needs? Something that can clearly only satisfy those in power and not the subjugated? Generating this necessary level of anarchy and chaos from the lowest levels, giving that false ideal to the people in power that their system works while, miraculously, people like you keep the system in line with their society and lower your ignorant heads, because you don't know what maneuvers you are doing, what in your inferior state you are achieving to keep everything moving. 

People, the more complex an organization is, the more necessary it is to find an alternative way to make it work, and let me tell you something, you, as simple betas, are doing the impossible to keep this dysfunctional system called the United States in place. 

"Economic reform in Russia in the 1990s did not happen because the people had exceeded their levels of tolerance, it was because their leaders realized how unfruitful the system was and decided to change it. They were an ignorant mass of people, unable to see beyond their fourteen hours of work and their poverty, but I wonder, are we in the same condition? Have not these last years of nonsense already exceeded our tolerance as a nation?” Another applause ran euphorically through the crowd "Are we going to wait until leaders driven by bias and self-interest demand that we clean up their mess because they know their position is secure" because of their Alpha status I was going to say but I omitted the comment.

"NO!" I listened to the crowd and my heart pounded with fascination. 

"Do we have to pretend that their ideal of perfection, where anyone is able to own a piece of land that rightfully belongs to you, is correct?!" 

"NO!" One more refusal rose in exciting unison, I smiled contentedly. 

"Will you allow your people, your ancestry, your culture to be vassals because of an unjustified need to maintain these lies that false social justice activists spread through the media?!" 

"NO!" 

"And that's why you're here, in the alternative right to the expectation of change" Once again applause, I could feel my pants starting to tighten... I loved this "We don't need elites, or leaders to force us to uphold their failures of government!"

"NO!" they shouted once more, as if this were the reproduction of their wishes. 

"We don't need hierarchies to force us to obey meaningless orders, we have kept their lies afloat and therefore we have the capacity to sink them!" 

"YES!" 

"And we definitely do NOT need a corrupt system with shit up to its neck to tell us what is politically correct while it subjugates us from the comfort of its desk!" The place was overflowing with whistles and applause, a crowd of people standing excited by the words joined hands in the air by the speech of a sixteen year old boy, one who according to them represented the future of society. 

The pressure point was not yet fully in place, but the charisma was there.

* * *

"That was impressive" the voice caught my attention as I left, I turned to the source and let the air go with tediousness for the owner. 

"Garrison" I didn't hide the annoyance in my voice. 

"Agh, you can say hello to your fucking mother like that, but not to me" I rolled my eyes. 

"Yes yes" Garrison, formerly known as 'professor garrison'. 

I hated to admit this but so far he's been one of the biggest failures in this alpha-omega-beta system. Being a simple beta he had reached a really high peak in that range in which he could move... but something told me that the elites had done it deliberately.

After a few months in office, he was officially the first president to be removed in the United States. Come on, you'd have to be pretty fucked up to be worse than fucking Bill Clinton. But like I said, it was probably deliberate. 

A real voice of the people from the people coming to power, although a stupid and retarded voice, seemed like a change; but, his eventual removal from office for his incompetence only demonstrated the inability of someone other than an alpha to govern, making a fool of the only argument that someone in a lower hierarchy could make. 

Well, at least he hadn't been thrown in jail for all the shit he did. 

"Anyway, come on" the woman who was in South Park on Friday was one of the investors in this... whatever this was. 

There were two types of primary alphas so to speak, two primary means of control in this sick system. Economic and political. Underlying these in turn were two others; the social one managed by reforms, a neoliberal economy and biased and hollow media; and, another military one that dealt with fulfilling all of the above by whatever means necessary. 

Throughout the last few years, there had been a certain tension between the country's political and economic interests due to the presidents' desire to open up the economy as much as possible, something like spreading their legs and calling themselves whores, leaving national industry without any protectionism. 

If that alpha was with us it wasn't because she believed in some bullshit equality or nationalism, it was because the closed economy proposed by the alternative right benefited her. She wasn't the only one of course, as the number of militants multiplied, alphas from economic areas invested in this thing; you know how those demon spawn are, they have a natural talent for turning everything into a merchandise, even ideologies. 

Garrison, talked about shit as usual as we moved through the crowd that had just come out of nearby conferences in other auditoriums, this smell was dancing in the air almost imperceptible to me, but not to the crowd in general. 

There were alphas here, and almost all of them had an omega behind them. I observed one alpha in particular, a woman who could well be a beta or another alpha circling his arm, walking along with him while two omegas followed at a safe distance, looking at the ground with necks exposed by less elaborate clothing than their masters. A curious mark without real form on their necks implied the dominance of their respective owner, and just below it, there was a small scar. 

I had heard that it was the place where they had implanted chips or some shit like that, it was not very certain and no one was interested in asking so whatever. Only one of the two Omegas had that mark. 

"What's that?" I asked looking at the scar, Garrison finally shut up to follow my gaze. 

"I'm not sure, maybe an abnormal?" he let go of air "Though I don't think so, they're really rare" 

"Abnormal?" I looked at him in disbelief, I'd never seen one. "Shouldn't they be... dysfunctional? Why does an Alpha have one?" he snorted. 

"Because that means he's got bigger balls? What do I know, fucking alphas, they should all die" he said without bothering to hide his tone, earning a few looks from his comments. I sighed. 

"What does it mean to be an abnormal?" I asked, there was no information about it in the places I came to investigate, the answers were mostly hormonal failures, cysts, shit like that, and I was too lazy to read about it. 

"Well, it depends. If you're an alpha it means you can fuck them all equally, if you're an omega..."

"Fuck everyone equally?" he formed a thin line with his lips looking for the right words. 

"I don't know much about it, I managed to read some files when I was in power but only what was necessary. Abnormal alphas are like Daenerys Targaryen." Here we go. "Dragons are a superior race in the game of thrones, aren't they? Sort of like alphas, and the bitch Targaryen has some degree of control even over them” 

"Does an abnormal alpha have power over other alphas?" 

"I read that, I haven't seen any so far. But unfortunately that's due to an excess of hormones or some shit like that, so in contrast their jealousy can be as constant as an omega, they have more complications and stuff, but that's as far as I know" 

"And the omegas?" 

"They're more slutty" he shrugged... then he let out a soft laugh "Not really" he looked around passing his fingers presumptuously over that piece of obviously fake blond topknot on his head. We went outside and waited for his car to be brought in. "It's not public knowledge but, they don't seem to have the need to follow orders from their respective alphas" I looked at him in surprise "So things like 'the voice' of the alphas doesn't really force them to do shit, you could say they're... free omegas"

"Doesn't the voice affect them?" 

"What did I just say?" he asked in annoyance. "There's a theory that says they were actually potential alphas who... well, had some hormonal disorder in their developmental process or whatever, I didn't read much about it. Of course, just as in the case of abnormal alphas, they have certain physiological dysfunctions, more developed senses than normal, certain physical capacities that are not suited to omegas, more elongated but less constant heats and... although the differences between the hierarchy tend to be only physical and not cognitive, some claim that they are supremely intelligent”

"Right... and what about those omegas?" 

"Until a few years ago they were sentenced to death, since their function as alphas' whores was affected by their lack of need to follow their orders. They could fight back. After all, the last abnormal Omega who was not stopped managed to get a code created for the treatment of Omegas. Quite an incredible achievement, I must admit." 

"Was that done by an Omega abnormal?" 

"Yes, but its name was buried in history before it became a contemporary symbol for omegas. There have been Omegas throughout history who have made incredible changes from their lower positions, but these were abnormal since they had the capacity to rebel against the nature that had been imposed on them" he shrugged "But the world has changed, becoming more sissy, so they don't get killed... sometimes. Instead they are controlled by more contemporary methods, and exposed as rarities... they took the only Omegas that could represent a danger to their system, dressed them up and filled them with ornaments, and showed them to the public as another acquisition of their property. A good way to belittle the whole historical heritage of the Omegas basically" 

He took the keys from the valet parking and opened his car door. 

"Come on, there's still a lot to talk about unfortunately" I nodded in agreement sharing his annoyance. 

So an alpha who in the process went wrong Okay, that explained a lot. 

* * *

I'd seen one of those pills on him. I knew the Jew and I knew he wouldn't give in so easily to Kenny's retarded behavior, ingesting whatever crap he gave him, to the point that an odorless suppressant made more sense than any other kind of 'stimulant'. 

It was true that on Thursday he didn't give a shit about Wendy's voice; but, on Friday he was able to trace the scent of that alpha back to me, he even confirmed my beta status by knowing that it was not my property... then he acted like the son of a bitch he is of course. 

And this weekend it turned out that the only flaw in my theory could be fulfilled if he was an abnormal. 

Considering his perfect attendance, a sign of his lack of recent zeal, his surprise at Bebe's abduction and his lack of caution in receiving Kenny's pills, I could tell it was recent. 

Maybe I was wrong, maybe not. What's really important is that we were about to find out. 

I got off the bus, looking at the familiar South Park sign relatively close to the stop where I would be waiting for the bus tomorrow. 

Along the way I had remembered Friday afternoon and Garrison's comment... I couldn't help but smile once again at the excitement the possibilities provided. 

If I was right, Kahl was monumentally fucked. 

I almost ran into the neighborhood unable to contain my anticipation of what was to come. I pulled out my cell phone to check the time, a message from Kenny. 

" _ Hey asshole, don't take this Friday's thing personally, I was a little... upset, you know me _ " I rolled my eyes. 

It was about twelve... God, the Jew must have been in bed by now; but I couldn't wait, come on, patience wasn't one of my greatest characteristics. 

I did not slow down when I saw his porch in the distance, I had formulated to go home earlier to leave my luggage but I was simply too anxious about this. I couldn't stand the waiting any longer. 

I had fantasized so many ways to do it or say it along the way that I hadn't closed my eyes for a second to rest, only to imagine his possible expressions when I told him that I was aware of his little secret; and that he was not only an Omega, he was a user of odourless suppressants and to top it off, that he was most likely an ''useless'' abnormal.

No, it was not very clever to say the latter, he was capable enough to find out for himself what it was all about, and if not, at least to infer it. To tell him he was abnormal was to give him a search lead. 

Yet my chest shrank in excitement and my hands pressed hard on the handle of the case just thinking about it.

I left the suitcase on the ground next to the fence leading to his backyard and jumped over the fence with some difficulty. 

All the lights in his house were off, the night was completely silent under the orange light of street lamps along the road, the snow still made my way to his window difficult as I watched the protruding dark metal frame overflow with the whitish substance. 

I sighed, searching around for a pebble or something, my ability to climb up to his window had diminished hopelessly over the years. 

Unable to find anything small and throwable in the middle of that white coat of shit I took out my cell phone, damn Jew and his stoneless yard. 

"Hey" I wrote to his contact, the message marked as received. Then I decided to dial and I heard 'Shut the fuck up' by pink guy from his room... so that was the fucking ringtone he had for me. Motherfucker. 

I leaned against the wall, this was gonna take a while. I dialed over and over, he was hanging up of course and... eventually he turned it off. God. 

"Kahl!" I screamed already annoyed at this point, obviously he ignored me. I saw a stone on the side that I hadn't considered before, too big but... 

I took it, threw it in the air a couple of times calculating the force needed and bent my arm to throw it seconds later against its window... it sounded pretty loud, even cracked the glass when it crashed. I wrinkled my nose at the long line that extended from the center of the glass to the frame. Not much happened between that and the window opening in one quick movement. 

"What the hell Cartman?!" 'he screamed, or so he tried... his voice was so fucked up I couldn't help but let out a little laugh at how shitty it sounded. 

Apparently he had the flu, hopefully some kind of pneumonia. He deserved it for being an asshole. 

He coughed covering his mouth as his gaze raged between me and the cracked window, trying to utter insults that got stuck in his inability to even speak.

"Look what you've done, you fuckin' fat tits!" He could finally say between coughs. I watched him amused as he forced his voice to try to vent all his anger. 

"What's the difference? I could get my glock, shoot you in the ass, and it wouldn't make a difference." 

"What?!" he asked incredulously. For a moment I thought he would jump on me or something. The angry red on his face was reaching delightful levels. 

"As you heard... omega" and the crimson of his cheeks that almost matched his unkempt hair drained completely as my smile grew in fascination. 

God, this would be so much fun. 

  
  



	3. Emperor's head

I don't understand how the hell I could feel him in my hand and ignore him. 

It wasn't over, this torture wasn't over and this almost wild part of me was regretting it. God, I should have just... God! 

"We're almost there" I heard next to me but my conscience was still stuck in that smell. 

Why the hell did I do that? What was wrong with... no no, it was Eric Cartman, please remember, the owner of that scent was Eric Cartman, Eric Cartman, Er... but it felt so good. How could a feeling so suffocating and fascinating be so wrong? 

"I think Cartman is an alpha" I muttered, trying to think of something more important; because, the simple memory made my insides throb and my belly burn, a strange dampness felt overflowing from my… 

"An alpha?" he asked amusingly, I looked around, we weren't in school. Where were we going? 

"It smelled like one" I shrank into this foreign coat trying to saturate my nose with Kenny's scent, trying to forget that fat bitch's. 

"Are you sure? It could have been another alpha nearby..." 

"No" I tried to make sense of my surroundings. We were crossing the train tracks in the direction of his house. "It was too windy, if there were any more alphas around, the scent would have been lost, and... I know what I felt" he kept silent as he kicked one can in front of his house. He took out some keys and I squatted in my place watching him shakily search for the keyhole; of course he was cold, I had his coat. 

I needed a bath, a cold shower, I couldn't stop thinking about it. 

"Shit. What's wrong with me?" I whispered insistently inhaling Kenny's fragrance but I couldn't, I couldn't forget it; it was stuck in the back of my throat, like a mark, a seal of some sickly kind. 

"I told ya" apparently no one was home... yeah, I think he said something about that before but I really didn't remember. 

He was going to help me up but I walked away doing it myself. He smiled amusingly in response, turned his back on me and walked in, I followed him. 

"Maybe he's about to have his first heat... like me." 

"Alphas' heat is less constant, as far as I know they only have two a year" he opened the door to his room. It was as disorganized as ever; bed washed out, garbage on the floor, his closet door still hanging after so many years, and posters of half-naked women on the walls that increased with age "They may start releasing hormones much earlier, but in a milder form... I really don't know" 

"So?" 

"I don't know, Kyle, maybe you're right, maybe not. You may have been able to track those really undetectable levels of hormones because of your heat... but it's amazing that you did it in the middle of this storm" he looked out of his curtainless steel window. Hail was beginning to strike violently, the glass was vibrating with the force of the wind, and snow was falling sharply, fluttering through the air in a disorganized and chaotic manner. Everything felt stronger in this house. 

I leaned against the nearest wall trying my best to pay attention to his words, the heat rising once more. 

"You don't believe me" 

"It's a hard thing to do" I moaned in pain. 

I didn't have the conscience to try to talk or argue with him, nor reason enough to try to argue anything; I just kept silent begging for the heat rising from my belly to stop. 

"I just feel more comfortable believing that someone like Cartman can't be an alpha" I didn't put much thought into his words, simply let them slip away into the moment.

I was so wet and damp everywhere, that I really couldn't tell what my property was and what water was, I felt something come down between my legs, dirty, uncomfortable.

"I'm going to the bathroom" I said once more in this strange guttural tone. I raised the hood enough to find my way into my isolation not waiting for his answer. As soon as I entered I locked the door behind me.

I put away every piece of totally soaked clothing, Kenny's heavy coat, pants, underwear. I felt light as I walked to the shower and opened it up; I didn't wait for the water to heat up, I just let it flow by feeling the strange moisture in my lower area. I wrinkled my nose at the soft texture, what the hell was that? 

And something clicked, lube, natural lubricant, or so I read. 

"Fucking gross" I whispered underneath, anxious for the shower to take effect and to diminish everything, absolutely everything. 

"I left you some clothes outside. Not exactly clean, but dry" I leaned my forehead against the wall. As my eyelids lowered a thousand obscene images covered my mind. Everything seemed possible if it was predisposed to the fulfillment of my desire. Why had I denied myself the pleasure of possessing something that would reduce this torment? Did I deserve this torture in pursuit of the modesty of common sense? How insignificant shame became at the possibility of feeling alive. 

How would it have felt?

"It will be over soon" I slipped into my place, cornered in the small shower as if I could shrink out of this reality. 

"I know" I muttered. I heard his footsteps drifting away, like the echo of a distant reality. 

The water was already at a warm end for this point. 

How long had I been here? I looked at my throbbing erection at the question. Not long enough. 

My gaze then found blood flowing in water running down white tiles, and I remembered the wound. I hadn't detailed it or even felt it since I had gotten it. 

I raised my hand and wrinkled my nose at the small hole in my palm still overflowing with blood. God, it might not hurt right now, but I was more than sure that by tomorrow my senses would be more conscious. 

After I left I surrounded myself with a towel that was right there in the bathroom, I carefully moved between the few bottles of beer lying on the floor and went into his room listening to him somewhere else in the house, maybe in Karen's room. 

I saw the clothes and got dressed as fast as I could before he came back. I then sat on his bed and waited for him.

"Look" he came in after a while with a little box in his hand, I looked at him curiously as he approached to kneel down in front of me. 

"What's that?" 

"They're Karen's, I guess she won't mind if I take a few" and opened it up to get a few feminine design band-aids. "Your hand." 

"You don't have to..." 

"Hand" ordered a second time looking for my look. I sighed, extending it. 

"How was your... first heat?" he flashed a soft smile, reaching out to me with attentive touch. 

“Like in your case; someone helped me” Currents that I thought the cold water had eradicated began to flow once more. I bit my lip, I was at that point of need where the aroma was only an accessory, a simple touch was enough to... 

"Who?" he pressed both ends of the wound and then sealed it with a small bandage, without the blood covering the laceration, I could see how long it was. He took another bandage. 

"A woman. She had been hiding for decades, she had even managed to remove her gonads so that she could... run away, in order to have power over her child" he tilted his head to concentrate his gaze on my palm. Golden threads slid down his forehead at the movement, slightly covering his irises in a tone really similar to that of the South Park sky, cold and generally foggy, bathed in clouds that completely covered his true attraction, as if something was constantly troubling him. 

"Can we do that?" 

"It's expensive and dangerous. For obvious reasons it is carried out clandestinely, and the clandestine is never very healthy" I saw his lips move with such grace improper to him. I was beginning to hallucinate if I was really considering Kenny McCormick graceful.

"Do I know her?" his touch seemed to lull me to sleep, so slow and subtle. His neck extended out to reveal his jugular vein sliding perfectly along his neck to meet his collarbone in this attractive concave formation in the center of it. He looked up curiously at the question. He smiled at the sight of my gaze to bite his lips with a certain lasciviousness. 

"No. You don't know her" he slid his hand through mine with experienced delicacy to move it gently, up to his neck; and warmth seemed to fill me completely, giving way once more to that fever which I thought was spreading. "Nor his son" and he bent over me, fixing his gaze on my lips. The clouds dispersed from his iris, leaving behind a fascinating blue that seemed to exist with the simple duty of inciting sin "Any other question?" I felt his breath brush against my chin and I wanted to absorb it completely, make it mine and extinguish it between my lips. 

"No" he let go of a soft laugh as he walked away, sliding my hand away from him, standing up.

I watched him bewildered by the sudden remoteness, rewinding my recent thoughts. What the fuck was wrong with me?

"You should try to rest. Sleep helps" I nodded.

I decided to just lie down on his bed and try to sleep... try very hard. And in fact at a certain point I succeeded, this area was so desolate that there was almost no noise around, but I do not know exactly what time the noise of an engine made me open my eyes almost immediately. 

"Let’s go. Did you get the chart?" I heard voices, one of them female, a bit altered by whatever was covering her mouth, a mask? A helmet? 

They were on the outside but I could hear them clearly nonetheless. 

"Do you have to ask?" and that was Kenny.

"Yeah." 

"Anyway, wait, I'll leave him a note." 

"To whom?" 

"Kyle" she didn't ask anymore. It was assumable then that she knew me. 

I didn't open my eyes when the door was pushed, his footsteps moved around the place, then he came out closing behind him. 

After a moment the engine started ringing once more, a motorbike. It started up getting lost in the distance, Kenny disappearing with her. 

_ I had to go out, borrow my coat or stay in my room tonight if you want, nobody comes in anyway. I don't think I'll be back today.  _

K.

* * *

By Saturday I was still feverish but of a different sort, it was no surprise but I had fallen ill. 

All fucking day in bed. This week had been shitty and what better way to end it than with a cold, and with any luck, the worst one of my life. 

I still hadn't recovered by Sunday, of course not, life couldn't be that good. 

"Let's play the story mode" Stan and Kenny had decided to come and join me in my misery while playing video games. They were playing on the floor, lying against my bed. I just watched in grateful silence. 

"This is  _ so _ much fun." said Kenny.

"Thanks for coming, being sick sucks" I sipped snot watching the intro start from my bed. Stan sighed. 

"It's not like I had any plans anyway" 

"I had them"

"What about Cartman?" asked our dearly departed friend. We were silent, somewhat uncomfortable of course. "Did something happen?" 

I sighed in my place, I hadn't talked to him about my omega condition; I had thought about it for a few days but the opportunity had never presented itself. Perhaps this was the moment. 

"Stan" I cleared my throat, an action that seemed to screw it up even more. He looked at me confused by my sudden seriousness; Kenny on the other hand seemed to understand the situation. He didn't take his concentration off the screen though.

"Why so serious? Did something bad happen?" 

"You could say that" said Kenny without much concern. 

A certain amount of anxiety was rocking my chest at his reaction but... come on, that didn't make sense, he was my best friend, everything would be fine. 

"I'm an omega" his eyebrows rose in surprise pausing the game out of nowhere, Kenny took a few doritos, resuming the game to keep watching the cinematic. 

"What?" he looked at Ken amazed by the lack of surprise in him. "You knew?" he paused the game again. Kenny just responded by frowning, resuming the game back "Kenneth!" 

"Stan, you're a minority in this room. You're the only beta here, so stop pausing the fucking video game" and his jaw dropped at the double confession, his gaze running from one to the other in disbelief. 

"I understand that Kenny is one..."

"Ey!"

"But you, Kyle?" I pulled the blankets up to my nose. 

"Sorry, when I was given a choice, the alpha quotas were already sold out." I didn't spare any irony. 

"How do you do that? They should've taken you away by now." He paused the game again. Kenny sighed in exasperation. 

"Drugs Stan, there are drugs" 

"Aren't they illegal?" 

"We've done worse, don't be a pussy" now the discussion had come down to the two of them. I watched them between their continuous pausing and resuming of the video game. 

"Do you know what would happen if someone found out about those pills?" 

"No. Do you?"

"No, but it's probably bad!" 

"Worse than being some alpha's slut?" 

"You're already a slut!" 

"I am by choice Stan, there is a big difference between both situations" he did a few stretches instead standing up "Anyway, I need nicotine, this sick atmosphere is killing me" and left the room without much else. 

"Well done, Stan," I said, not hiding my mild anger at the situation. He let go of the air, as if this somehow overwhelmed him. 

"I don't know. If they find out you' ll be taken away... I don't want that to happen."

"Isn't it better to hide then?" 

"Yes" he looked for my eyes "I'm so sorry" 

"What for?" 

"You being an Omega" I frowned in annoyance. 

"It's not like I'm sick, you know?" he looked down regretfully at his words, suddenly too uncomfortable to continue "I'm still Kyle, your friend? Nothing's changed." 

"I know" he stood up, I coughed in answer "I'll go home, I won't tell anyone..." 

"Thank you." 

"See you tomorrow at the bus stop." 

"Yes" and left the room without much more to say. 

Apparently everything was going from bad to worse. 

I stared up at the ceiling like an idiot considering the possibilities, what was the worst that could happen? that he would tell everyone I guess, but I knew he wouldn't. 

"What are you thinking about?" Kenny came into the room, I looked at him sideways. 

"That maybe I screwed up" he smiled. 

"I don't think so, even though Stan can be a little... short sometimes, and be influenced very easily by what most people say, he always makes the right decision in the end" 

"Arguable; but reasonable" he shrugged. He looked at the clock on the other side of the wall, I followed his gaze, it was about six o'clock in the evening. 

"I'll leave you then." 

"Thank you for coming" he nodded, leaving the room without a further exchange of words. 

My mother came to confirm my condition a few times, scolding me every time for leaving my sweater in the school to go out in a bloody storm to pee; because the school bathrooms were closed. I suck at making excuses; even though I didn't know what was worse, my inability to lie, or the fact that my mother actually believed me. 

By eleven I was still staring at the ceiling like an idiot unable to sleep, and by the time I finally got to sleep around twelve the cell phone vibrated. I ignored it. It vibrated a couple more times before that terrible song began to play. 

"Shit" I muttered under my cover. I put out my hand to the bedside table and hung up without seeing whose name it was; and again, and again. Eventually I turned it off. 

But no, the son of a bitch wouldn't leave me alone, after shouting my name a noise that made me sit up in bed immediately filled the place. Had he cracked the fucking window?! I moved immediately to it, incredulous by the situation, I opened it and there was that bastard with his huge and obnoxious smile. 

"What the hell Cartman?!" The scream rather than expressing my anger tore my throat apart. I looked through the broken glass to see him smiling like an idiot at my failed attempt to yell at him. "Look what you've done, you fuckin' fat tits!"

"What's the difference? I could bring my glock, shoot you in the ass, and it wouldn't make a difference." 

"What?!" his smile spread almost lasciviously as a sickly flash bathed the blue of his irises. 

"As you heard, omega," I think I saw the last word being spoken in some kind of slow motion as my pulse dropped to alarming levels. His smile seemed to expand as if he wanted to hold back a laugh, and by the time it was over, my heart rate had gone from zero to a thousand. I immediately closed the window and lay down on the bed trying to avoid what I had just heard: "Hey, Jew!" I heard him scream from outside. I covered my ears. 

"Just fuck off" I muttered as if this was nothing more than some kind of nightmare from which I could wake up. 

"Kahl!" I tried harder to cover my ears, but it was no use, I could hear the footsteps of a passer-by... passer-by? I rushed to the window " Ome...!" 

"Shut the fuck up!" I 'spat' before anyone heard feeling my chest hurt from this whole shitty situation. 

"So I'm right?!" he shouted almost childishly "God, I knew it!" He pointed at me with his finger displaying this hateful, disgusting, horrible victorious smile on his face that did nothing but turn my stomach "Someone as gay as you couldn't even be a beta!" and he burst out laughing at his own comment.

"Will you stop yelling, you fucking retard, it's fucking twelve o'clock" if it wasn't for the silence that the night provided I doubted he'd hear me, my throat hurt like hell. He laughed softly once more, it didn't take a genius to realize how much he was enjoying this. 

"Open the door" he ordered loud enough for both of us. 

"What?"

"I need to talk to you Kahl, get off your ass, go in the kitchen and open the fucking door" I couldn't take it anymore. I took the closest thing I could get my hands on and threw it in a moment of fleeting rage at his head

"Oi!" snarled the pig to my satisfaction. I let go a snort of annoyance by closing the window to its insults "What the f..."

I got out of bed and groped my way in the dark to the first floor, still surprised they didn't wake up from the damn broken window. I breathed a sigh of relief as I reached the kitchen. 

"I'll tell everyone you tried to rape..." and I watched him from the darkness unable to hide the hatred in my eyes from the other side of the glass door that separated the kitchen from the backyard. His eyes found me in the darkness, and jumped in place in surprise "You came" he said contentedly, approaching the door "Now open up" I sneered. 

"You're sick in the head if you think I'm going to open, what do you want?" he frowned in annoyance. 

"I need to show you something and for that I need you to open the door, Jew" I laughed softly. 

"No, thanks, I'm not letting a psychopath into my house at midnight" anger began to cover his gaze, leaving his entertainment aside. Yes, that expression was more to my liking. 

"Open.the.door" he said with a certain threatening undertone in his voice. As if he really thought that was enough to make me follow his orders.

"No" I smiled at the anger that covered his gaze, he bit his lip in frustration. 

"Don't you know the position you're in?" I rolled my eyes at his comment. 

"Oh, I know, I've been there many times with you; but you wouldn't waste your only pressure point at my refusal to open a simple door. Would you?" he clicked his tongue. 

"So the Jew turned out to be an expensive whore"

"Any problem with that?" he grunted underneath looking for his cell phone. 

"Cunt" mumbled sliding his fingers across the screen, looking at it. 

"At least I don’t have a microdick" I replied, waiting for whatever he was doing, he looked up and stopped. 

"What?" I smiled at him for getting his attention. 

"I said you have a microdick, I could hardly find it in your fat the other day." 

"Oh, the day you wanted to shove it up your ass?" I clicked my tongue and looked away from his smile "Look" and turned it over once more, he glued his phone screen to the glass. A video. 

"What's that?"

"Just watch, Jew" I let go of my air detailing what looked like an auditorium. Then he came on stage, applause erupts as if... I don't know, as if it was everything but him. 

"Are you giving a speech?" 

"Yep."

"Where?"

"Aspen" he said of course, overflowing with pride. 

"Are there congregations of intellectually disabled people in Aspen?" 

"No, but there are for repressed fags, maybe you should go you to the next one."

"You must have membership and everything in those, huh?"

"Nah, you just have to be a gay ginger to get in, and you get both" I snorted in disgust. 

I saw how eventually silence would guard the place to make way for his voice. I'd bet that he'd say something stupid and be made fun of, but if he was, he wouldn't be showing me.

He started talking about organizations, a speech quite similar to the one I gave in the economics elective. 

"Are you fucking serious?" I murmured, watching as he then took up something from my essay on Russia's economic development after the revolution, twisting my words to give it a tone that was somehow fascist in line with the interests of, what has been named several times, the alternative right; talking about nationalism and the need to change the system. 

I remained silent throughout the video, engrossed in its innate ability to move the crowd, feeling increasingly confident that I had not mistakenly traced that alpha scent on it. 

When I read those texts aloud half the class had fallen asleep including him. Had he heard me? 

"What is this?" I asked once again, disgusted by the anti-multiculturalism that underlay all the ideology of the group he was naming, not very prominent in his speech but I knew there were worse; in turn fascinated by his use of oratory at such a young age. 

He had always been like that, but it seemed to have evolved over time as some sort of inherent talent of his, and that in turn was frightening if he was headed in the wrong direction; and as far as could be seen, he was doing it. 

"What you see" 

"I knew you were a son of a bitch, but not on that level," I murmured in disgust at his deliberate fascism. He shrugged. 

"Anyway, you have no choice but to keep my secret" he smiled with a false sense of innocence and then let it go "Even if I don't give a shit about politics"

"As if your perspective on the world varied greatly from theirs" I coughed a little at the end, he sighed. 

"Whatever. I don't care enough to do anything about it. 

"You're doing it" he smiled. 

"My interests are somewhat... distorted" the blue of his iris seemed to darken. "The only minority I am interested in eradicating right now are the alphas" and my chest stopped at the sudden seriousness of his words, determination overflowing from the words I had not heard for years. 

"How do you plan to do it?" he looked down. 

"I'm still thinking about it, but one thing is for sure, I need resources and people willing to do what I say" and he looked for my orbs once more. 

"And that bunch of assholes can give you both" I said. He smiled satisfied with my understanding. 

"I' ll disappear them all, one by one, there won't be anyone superior to me" as I listened to him I remembered the reason why we always, when we were small and stupid, looked to him to help us deal with people we knew we couldn't handle alone. And as I listened to him, more real the time bomb in front of me became; if he was able to do all this by being a simple beta, I was terrified of what he might do as an alpha.

"You know it's impossible to just... vanish everything, it's not that easy" he tilted his head and smiled as if he had thought about it a million times. 

"Oh, I don't give a shit about the system, Kahl, I only care about alphas. The system is a reproduction of human decay, and that is not something I can eradicate because it is inherent to the very existence of us as a race; power in the hands of a few is inevitable and therefore the disease that comes with absolute power, corruption," I raised my eyebrows in surprise at his words. 

"Then what is the point?" he let go of exhausted air, disgusted by the very words he had uttered. A rather crude perspective I had to admit. 

"I'll disappear them, and the doors to power will remain open enough so that the disease can spread to someone other than them, I suppose, like a hydra, I'll just cut off heads so that others can grow”

"What difference will it make then?" he shrugged. 

"No fucking clue, you want to see? Aren't you curious?" 

"You can't do this out of simple curiosity." 

"Why not? Maybe something will change, it's better than doing nothing, don't you think?" God, he sounded reasonable and everything... fuck. 

"Maybe" he smiled satisfied at my hesitation.

"What do you say? Will you fight by my side... omega?" he uttered the last word with childish amusement. I took a breath to avoid breaking another glass in the house, because I wanted to punch him in the face. 

I considered my chances, if I was right and he was going to 'develop' into an alpha at some point, I didn't really have time; maybe a few weeks? a month? if what Kenny was saying about alpha heat was true with any luck a month. How much could I do in just thirty days? could I cause enough damage to get his alpha position affected when he woke up?... how many chances, and they all sucked. 

Helping him would give me a chance to screw him over in the long run, but I'd have to collaborate with an openly fascist movement; not doing so would slow down his process, and by the time he woke up he'd just leave all that shit behind to pursue his bright future as an alpha. Maybe he'd even turn me in because he's a son of a bitch. 

I sighed. Both sides had their share of shit. 

I didn't think I could do much in what would probably be less than a month, but if I managed to affect his future as an alpha, it was enough for me.

“I'll do it" I saw his eyebrows go up in surprise, as if he had expected more resistance or something; and I would have, I would have resisted more, if it wasn't for the fact that he was a self-centered piece of shit and therefore would think that my gay ass couldn't say no to his brilliant ways. 

I could read him so easily, and I didn't know if that was exactly good. 


	4. Essence

" _ I'll do it _ " God, just by remembering those words I could feel a smile on my face. 

I had definitely got the fucking golden ticket. He had accepted without a word of protest! And I knew how difficult it was for the Jew to do something like that without protesting. I was so good at what I was doing, obviously he couldn't resist my methods. 

Five in the morning. I turned off the alarm by jumping out of bed, going down to the kitchen and opening the refrigerator to start my work. I took some pork, parmesan cheese, beef and a few other ingredients. 

Unfortunately; even if I was a genius at oratory, you need facts, examples, rhetorical resources in general and a pretty decent vocabulary among other things to manage the crowd; you have to talk depending on their intellectual level, you have to appeal to their needs, their hatred in this case... in short, so many things. 

As we had advanced the audience to convince seemed to represent a greater challenge. I was trying to appeal to a certain group of intellectuals; the problem with these people is that they were more perceptive listeners than a bunch of imbeciles blaming betas immigrants for unemployment. 

So I needed Kahl; I had thought of doing my own research but... nah, too lame.

By the time I finished my masterpiece it was about six-thirty. I eagerly inhaled the delicious aroma while packing the food in a small lunch box.

After finishing and packing everything I needed, I left.

I closed behind me, shuddering from the wind that completely messed up my hair, lately the weather was being quite a bitch around here. I pulled my scarf up to my nose, struggling through the dense snow, trying to get some form of shape into my newly disheveled hair, there was no hairspray that would work in that shitty morning wind. 

"Hey, fatass" I felt a weight shift against me as one arm was wrapped around me. 

"Don't touch me, you poor shit, I'm gonna get gonorrhea or some weird shit" he ignored my complaint.

"Sorry about the other day, you know, for treating you like the dick you usually are" I grunted underneath without bothering to look for him. 

"As long as you recognize your mistake" he sighed. 

"Yes, the problem is that I recognize it less and less" he muttered, moving at a faster pace, leaving me behind in an instant. 

I looked up at the sky as I saw the first snowflake fall, the horizon clouded like Kenny's future, and the sun completely lost amidst dense clouds like his dignity. And there at the bus stop, Kyle was.

His gaze collided with mine and he frowned almost immediately, I smiled in response.When one was angry the other would inevitably be happy.

I know I've said this enough for this point but... this would be quite fun. 

* * *

My gaze moved boringly between the wet paper ball that someone had thrown into the teacher's hair and the watch. The Jew had sat at the other side of me, completely away from whatever I could do. Fucking Jew. 

And at last it came, twelve o'clock, and the doors of this torture chamber were opened to make way for that period of freedom which lunchtime provided. 

I left the room as fast as I could to go to the locker, I felt the look of the Jew following me curiously as I left the place. 

After arriving at my desired destination I took the lunch I had prepared in the morning and went in the direction of the cafeteria. I smiled with satisfaction at the sight of Kenny and Kyle at the usual table, the Jew beginning to open his boring kosher lunch. 

I sat down in front of them. 

"Hey Kahl" his gaze caught me as he tried to eat the first bite, he returned it to his place in disgust. 

"Don't fuck up my lunch please, I know that fucking smile" I let go of a gentle laugh. 

"What smile?" 

"The one you put on when you're about to piss someone off" complemented the poor fucker by taking a bite of his sandwich, what a miracle he would have brought lunch. I rolled my eyes in response.

"No way, I actually decided to make the Jew lunch today. " Kenny got stuck with his food at my words and started coughing instead. Kahl on the other hand seemed to see through the situation by glaring at me in radiant hatred. 

I uncovered the small pot that was still warm and moved it toward him, pushing aside the lunch his mother had probably prepared. 

"Here, I put a lot of  _ love _ in it"

"What the fuck?" Kenny asked, looking at the situation in confusion. More importantly, I saw Kyle's look detailing the dish. 

"What is this?" and the smell got to him, even Kenny. 

"It smells pretty... good" 

"A rare but delicious mixture, beefsteak and pork au gratin" he looked up in annoyance.

"You know I can't eat this." 

"Oh really? I had no idea" he frowned almost immediately at my denotable scorn. 

Kenny's gaze wandered confusedly between the two trying to make some sense of the situation. 

"Now eat it" I ordered. 

"No" and he had the courage to challenge me. 

"Eat it." 

"Did the fat saturate your eardrums, asshole? I said no." 

"Well, if Kyle doesn't want to..." Kenny started.

"He does, don't you,  _ omega _ ?" I didn't care to hide it from Kenny, if he had passed those pills to him it was because he was aware of all this.

"Did you tell him?" Ken asked Kahl incredulously.

"No, the fat ass decided to move his fat brain cells for a change" he answered without looking away from me. 

"Eat it" I insisted beginning to lose my patience.He wrinkled his nose in annoyance, looking at the food one more time "You'll like it, I promise" he sighed after a moment taking the fork that still contained some of that Jewish shit. 

"You don't have to do it Kyle" I looked at Kenny who apparently, after half a fucking hour, had understood the situation. 

"Whatever," and finally the Jew grew balls to take the first bite. He chewed slowly, with this hilarious look of displeasure that... was disappearing. 

Oh come on, not so fast please. 

"You have to eat it all" but he didn't seem to be angry about it. He cut off another piece of the steak and gracefully placed it to his lips without taking his eyes off me. He smiled. 

"It actually tastes pretty good" and he took a third bite. 

"Anyway... you two keep... whatever you're doing, I'm out of here" I saw Kenny stand up and then go to Craig's table and those other fags. 

"I didn't know you were such a good cook" I don't know if he was just faking it to fuck me up or... 

"I... you're Jewish Kahl, you can't eat pork and dairy meats, what the fuck..." 

"I've read too many modern philosophers to be bothered by a piece of pig, Cartman. I already deal with one every fucking day anyway" I grunted in annoyance, the son of a bitch was just pretending. 

"Fuck you" and I grabbed the pot to lure it to me "I'll eat it" he shrugged, taking his rat food one more time. 

"As you wish" 

The Sunday after I confirmed that he would help me, the lights in his living room came on and I had to run out of there before they noticed the broken glass... anyway, we hadn't talked about it after that. 

"You said you'd help me" he nodded, putting a bite in his mouth, looking down at Stan's table. 

"How long have you been in that group?" and he looked at my, real curiosity haunting his gaze and... I didn't trust him; it was true that my methods were extremely cool but... 

"Three months, the number of militants has multiplied since then" he let out air with scorn stirring his food with disdain. 

"The number of retards you mean" 

"The problem is that the number of retards is decreasing," he smiled distantly. 

"I see, so you're relying on my knowledge to 'dress up' your speeches and get the attention of more... people." 

"I could do it myself." 

"Of course" he commented sarcastically. 

"I could, but I'm not interested." 

"Lack of interest, what a nice way to call your stupidity"

"Would you stop? I understand you want to fuck me since Friday, but Kahl, please keep your sexual frustration out of the conversation for once, okay?" he raised his eyebrow in disbelief at my comment. 

"You won't forget that, will you?" I let out a laugh at the absurdity of that question.

"No" he grunted in annoyance, stood up and left without saying much more. 

I sighed and looked on with no real interest at the lunch that had cooled down by this point, the cheese far from being melted and the steak half eaten by that Jew, with his germs and... I pushed it away. 

* * *

The next meeting would take place in two weeks.

I had to improve my speeches in that period, the auditoriums contained more and more difficult audiences, in the previous one there was even a potential investor which I managed to convince.

How could it all be like that? I didn't know how to describe it, it was as if we were only exposing a possible future business, as if we were products of alphas who were watching us expectantly for profitability, gains or exploitation. 

They were so high, that in their megalomania they assumed the non-existence of a risk to their position, to the point of seeing threats as business opportunities, and nonconformists as isolated anomalies of a perfect system. 

I had no fucking idea if I was handling it the right way, but at least I was sure I would have to be really careful about it, otherwise I wouldn't make much progress. 

That's why I needed Kahl, I had to twist my intentions more ideally, and... maybe with his help I would succeed. I didn't know how, many times I'm not a hundred percent sure how my decisions are going to affect me; but come on, consequences for my actions? what the hell was that. 

I knocked feeling a chill run down my spine from the back of my neck from the wind that was blowing. 

"Fuck" I whispered putting my hands in my pockets, it was about seven o'clock at night, at this time the weather was getting more shitty. 

It wasn't long before the door opened. 

"What the..." He took a breath. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey Kahl, I called your mom, I told her I'd stay tonight so you could give me a few lessons" I tried to get in but he blocked the door with his stupid arm. I sighed. 

"I didn't hear anything about it." 

"You think I care? You said you'd help me and I'm here so you can do that. Get your scrawny arm out of my way" he clicked his tongue, reluctantly letting me through. 

"Ow, is your friend Eric here? Did you eat dinner already?" asked his mother looking at me from the kitchen. 

"Yes ma'am, thank you". Obviously I had already had dinner, in my fucking life I would eat rat food. Kahl rolled his eyes in disgust as he walked up the stairs, I followed him. 

"I'll call Kenny" 

"What?" 

"I'm not going to spend a fucking night with you alone, asshole." 

"What? You're the one who tried to rape me if I remem..."

"Shut up, just shut up please," he muttered in clear disgust as he walked to his room, a 'keep out' sign hanging from the top frame. 

I followed him inside, almost immediately a sweet smell saturated my nostrils. My sense of smell is not overly sensitive but... but it was a soft, smooth, vanilla-like scent with a spicy undertone that I could not distinguish, like this acidic effluvium from unripe strawberries, and something behind it, an almost sexual nameless fragrance... 

"Hey, Kenny, you want to come stay the night?" 

"What's that?" I asked idiotically, it was quite similar to Bebe's but... 

"I'll order pizza..." he ignored me walking around with the phone in his ear "The fatass came, I don't want to stay with him. Please?" I sighed tediously leaving my bag aside, seeing a small jar with the famous pills inside "Fine... what? no I'll lend you my homework, but I'm not gonna write it down on your damn notebook. What the fuck, Kenny?" I took them to get a closer look, there were only two. 

I had read in the booklet that their consumption could have consequences, something like contraceptive methods that could alter the constancy of menstruation, appearance, hormone secretion or shit like that in women. It could make the heat more constant, even stronger; especially during the first months while their system was adjusting to the medication. 

"What? no!... Ok ok, I'll write them down in your fucking notebook" and hung up "God" he looked in my direction and stormed off shaving the little pills out of my hand "Don't touch what's not yours fatass" 

"What's that smell?" I asked casually, lying on his bed, he clicked his tongue and put his cell phone away. 

"What do you think it is?" I sniffed once more and remembered the pills... agh, no, god. 

"Your scent?" he smiled amusedly at my expression. 

"What, you like it?" I immediately held my nose but it was too late, I felt completely bathed in it. 

"No, shit, that's disgusting" he laughed, moving towards his laptop. He sat down next to me, the video of my conference already on, apparently he was watching it or something.

"What are you trying to do?" 

"Move people" 

"Yes... but you're not being very direct" 

"Why do you think I'm in that group? I can't be openly anti-alpha, I don't want a blade at my throat before my time" he was silent for a few seconds playing another conference. The one about the night I decided not to go to that club with them. That conference was in Denver. 

"So this is what you were doing" I sighed "Family reunion my balls, more like a retarded sibling reunion or something" I rolled my eyes in annoyance 

"You're smart, we still have time before we graduate, about a year and a half so start thinking, Jew" he took a deep breath. 

"You know they let Garrison progress because it suited them, right? One way or another." 

"I know" 

"Why should they let you spread ideas of this nature among the people?" 

"Believe it or not, many benefit. The day you traced that alpha smell back to me, it was because I had been with one recently" one of his eyebrows curled in curiosity "She's an alpha interested in undoing certain economic policies" I took a breath "It's not official that there are several branches of alphas, it's not like there's some kind of organigram or that I know; but I think if we can turn one against the other we can generate some kind of damage. That would only be a start, to make the difference of interests between various alphas prominent" he nodded in agreement with my point. 

"In a certain country in South America, when a rather drastic economic change towards communism began..."

"Is that of interest to me?" I interrupted in annoyance at what seemed to be a long and tedious story. 

"Yes" he sentenced with tediousness "... There were certain reforms that appealed to state interference in the economy; greater planning of production, control over market prices and so on. Since their internal industry was underdeveloped in comparison to the international private ones, they could not be completely independent from them, who of course in the long run did not agree with these reforms and simply left the country with lame excuses like they had no more inputs or that profitability was impossible. In the end the national industry could not maintain the economy, almost completely eradicating the existence of alphas, leaving the few that remained in crisis, and therefore their people in deep shit". 

"So?" I asked bored, I had taken out my cell phone, just slid my finger along boring instagram images. He tilted his head, assuming I was listening. 

"That one depends on the other, cutting that line would lead to serious consequences, bigger than you think" he looked up at me "How do you plan to do that?"

"No fucking clue, why do you think I'm here?" he smiled amused. 

"Look, something really interesting about our society today is that it has a shitty memory" 

"What the hell does that mean?" 

"They forget their past, what has brought them to the place they are. History more than a simple recounting of facts can become a pretty useful manual of what you shouldn't do again" he shrugged "They manage to fall into the trap of getting people like Garrison into power. They completely forget the fact that this mistake has been made before, that their method, shitty demagogy, was defined by Aristotle himself. How stupid do you have to be to fall for a method of deception that dates back thousands of years?" he grunted in annoyance. 

I was starting to regret this a little bit, he wouldn't shut up. 

"Yeah yeah, whatever, what's the point?" 

"That what you're trying to do is nothing new, we just have to look in the right place in history and we'll find the strategy you want. What's interesting is that most people won't even notice that you're just reproducing some behavior already carried out, and that they can therefore foresee the consequences of it" 

"And that point in the story is..." 

"In the revolutions, Cartman, French revolution, Russian revolution and..." 

"Hey, where's the pizza?" the door opened at one point, Kyle closed the laptop and stared at Kenny.

"I didn't ask for it, I'll do your calculus homework after all" he moaned in annoyance. 

"Hey, fatass, what are you doing here?" 

"Learn" he raised his eyebrow and then let out a laugh of mockery. 

"Of course" he sat down on the other side of me and patted me on the back "Whatever you say, fatso" and threw himself on the bed in a coarse manner "So... what are we going to do?" I looked at Kyle; I don't know if he was retarded or something, but studying with him around was like trying to pray in a porn cinema. 

"Study" said Kyle, like that was really going to happen. 

"Study? You called me to... study?" 

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" 

"Well, it was already a shitty thing to sleep among a pile of sausages on a Friday night..." he got up, moved to stand in front of the two of us and put his hands on his hip straightening his back "Let's party, I heard that in a certain club they are letting in precious jewels of youth like us tonight, it's alcohol free, though, for this point 'alcohol free' is almost sarcasm" he smiled brightly at the expectation of our response. I leaned over to Kahl to whisper to him. 

"You shouldn't have called him." 

"Fuck you" 

"Come on! Don't be pussies, you two" and he looked at me "Do you really want to study on a Friday night Cartman? Are you absolutely sure about that?" 

No. 

"Yes" he snorted. 

"Don't lie, asshole" he turned to Kahl. "It's obvious he's lying. You can see it too, right?" I sighed. 

"I don't have time for this shit" I was gonna stand up but Kyle's hand stopped me. 

"Come on, it'll be fun," continued the Blondie with a big smile. I turned to the Jew, trying to rebuke him with my eyes for the brilliance of whatever it was he was trying to do. 

"Well, it's Friday night" and Kyle fell "Although my mom probably won't let me so..." Kenny let go off a tired breath, as if this was beyond him. 

"Are you serious? You don't have to ask her permission" he pulled out his cell phone to check the time "In two hours they'll be dead, let's just climb out the window and go" he ended up pointing to the closed curtains. 

"And that's what a bad influence looks like" I extended my hands to Kenny who pushed them away. Then he imitated my gesture by pointing this time towards us. 

"And that's what a couple of losers with no social life look like." 

"Hey, I have a social life" protested Kyle, the poor fucker snorted in disbelief. 

"Besides me and stan? And cartman doesn't count, just look at him!" 

"What the hell does that mean?" I spit. 

"It means your only best friend is me, because I'm the only one who can stand your fat ass" 

"Believe it or not, I know more people besides... you" 

"Yeah, a bunch of fascist retards" Kyle said, glaring away. 

"Does he have fascist friends?" 

"Anyway, we'll go to your fucking party, happy?" I changed the subject by completely letting my refusal go in the trash. He spread his satisfied smile. 

"I didn't say yes." 

"Nobody cares Kahl" he grunted in response, preparing his next insult eventually silenced by more of Kenny's vocal diarrhea. 

Anyway, it wasn't my main plan but what the hell, I hadn't... gotten a little carried away in a while. 

* * *

"Let Cartman go down first, I don't want to be in any newspaper headlines tomorrow with 'crushed' and 'by a pig' together in the title" I rolled my eyes opening the window, listening to Kenny laugh quietly behind us. 

"Ha ha, hilarious" I murmured with clear sarcasm "Look at me I'm a faggot Jew who makes burned-out jokes about the non-existent fat of the great Eric Cartman to cover up my feelings of inferiority, boohoo" I murmured half a body out of it. God, what the hell was I doing with my life? 

"I'll bet you five bucks he falls" I heard Kenny whisper. Fucker

Lucky for me I didn't. I finished getting down and I backed up to see the other two follow, I formulated to throw something at them to make them fall but nah, it wasn't worth it. 

Eventually they came down and we walked, it wasn't far so it didn't take much, South Park was so small that going to the other end never took much. 

We reached what stood out from yards as the entrance, a brick structure covered in half torn banners, mediocre graffiti corroded by the constant snow, with traces of the previous one underneath them as a replaceable memory under the flickering and dying luminescence of magenta and yellowish green neon lights; a place that despite having its unhealthiness written all over its façade, was overflowing with people. 

There were acquaintances from other courses and from other nearby institutes; an enormous line that covered part of the block and music overflowing from the interior of a dark corridor protected by what seemed to be 'guards' was the most remarkable thing. Anyway, thanks to Kenny and his apparent attendance at these places we were able to completely avoid the line. 

"The advantages of being a whore" I said humorously as I followed them indoors, swaying lights, lapses of complete darkness taking turns with multicolored wakes and smoke in the air. This familiar smell of marijuana and alcohol in the air dancing defiantly in front of the 'alcohol and cigarette free zone' signs. 

Kenny was right, at this point that seemed like simple sarcasm. 

"Yes yes, I have to meet someone, see you in a bit," Kenny said before walking away, getting lost in the crowd that was dancing to the rhythm of loud beats. 

"God, I think it's going to take me a while to get used to how loud this can be" I heard next to me. It was true, omegas had more developed senses than betas as well as alphas... and if Garrison was right, if he was abnormal, he would be even more so. 

"Are we going to get drunk or what?" I asked.

"All the way up to our asses" he said, starting to move towards where the crowd seemed to be the most, probably the bar. 

We managed to get two seats, most people seemed to be on the floor and at tables in more... private places than here in front of the bartender; better for us. 

After a while the beers arrived. 

He sighed taking the first sip, looking at the crowd from afar, and then taking the beer glass and drinking more than half of it. 

I would do it slowly, drinking was not one of my best skills. 

"Let's keep talking" he said, leaving the glass on the counter. 

"Revolutions, you were going in revolutions..." he smiled. 

"Truth... have you heard of the Paris commune?" I rolled my eyes. 

"No, should I be interested?" 

"Yes. It was a workers' movement in Paris in which they demanded better living conditions. They isolated themselves and tried to make a political and economic system work on their own where there was 'equality' of conditions... the alphas of course did not accept it and the famous bloody week began in Paris where about ten thousand betas and omegas were massacred" he would not shut up, and drunk he tended to talk even more, it was like his dialectic disinhibitor or whatever. 

"Yes, the world is unfair, get over it," he sighed. 

"Why is that ideal so hard, Cartman?" I shrugged. 

"I don't know, human nature? what do I know. I'm not going to get philosophical in this place," he laughed softly. 

"Yeah, you're right." He finished drinking and asked for one more. 

"What will you do after you graduate?" I was curious about that, as Omega he really didn't have much choice.

"I don't know. I've been doing some research, the physical exams that they do at the entrance of universities are too strict, it's almost impossible not to be perceived as an omega" 

"You don't need anyone to teach you if you want to learn, most of the shit you know hasn't been taught in high school yet" he smiled. 

"No but... it feels wrong, I feel cornered" he continued drinking, I was just halfway through the first one. 

"It doesn't have to be like that" he snorted. 

"What do you know?" 

"I don't, but my mother does." He looked at me curiously for the statement "She's an Omega too" 

"What?" 

"As you heard it Jew" 

"But the omegas don't..."

"They can't have a legal right to their offspring, yeah yeah... but apparently she was smart enough not to give a shit, or she spread her legs wide enough to get what she wanted, what do I know, both ways are valid I guess" 

"Does she use suppressors?"

"She removed her ovaries." I leaned my face over my hand, moving the liquid in a circle. " I was just a bastard anyway. She didn't have much of a choice." 

"I didn't know" I smiled as I finished drinking, I raised my hand for a second. 

"Obviously you didn't" I sighed "Anyway, the point is that you can have a life... relatively normal" although normal was not exactly being a crack whore with severe emotional deficiencies... I know the idea also ran through his head but he probably decided that this was not the time for insults. 

He looked down finishing the second one, going for a third one... he was drinking pretty fast. 

"Kenny said there were countries where policies regarding Omegas could vary” 

"So you plan to leave?" 

"I don't know, I don't feel it's that easy, I don't want to run away, I don't want to just... kneel" his tongue started to slide lazily, his gaze was lost in the glass reflecting some of the amber of the beer in his emerald gaze. 

"Let's change the system then" he smiled disdainfully, as if I were just talking about one of those childish dreams that never came true. 

"I want to trust you, and what you are capable of but..." he looked up "... but I know that as soon as your interests falter you will leave everything behind and forget your main purpose. Kind of like finding something more entertaining or more beneficial to do." What the hell was he talking about?

"That won't happen" he watched me silently for a few seconds. 

"You promise?" he put the beer down and put his hand in a fist with his little finger in the air.I looked at it in amazement, we'd never done this kind of stupid thing before. He knew that if we did, I probably wouldn't care at all.

I put my little finger together with his after taking off my glove. 

"I promise." 

"Let's change the system, Eric." Well, that sounded weird. 

"Let's change the system Kyle" and he seemed to feel the same way.

"Let's not do that again" he mumbled, pulling his finger away. 

"Please." 

Disinhibitions out and music almost palpable in the air moved us to the center of the crowd, jumping to the rhythm of the music, or at least that made me believe the alcohol while Kyle continued to move happily in his place. 

"Where's Kenny?" he shrugged his shoulders without taking his eyes off a couple of girls who had come up to these tables to dance, pouring beer over their thin white tops with mostly male groups crowding around them. 

"No fucking idea, fuck him!" he shouted amidst laughter as he moved towards the dancing girls. I followed him with my eyes. He took one of the beers that were supposed to end up between the girls' tits and walked away drinking from it; wasn't that stealing? He probably wasn't even aware of it. 

He approached me once more with beer in hand, taking a few turns to the music in the process. He staggered awkwardly after finishing his dance attempt, laughing at his own clumsiness. I could not help but laugh at the sight of him. Fucking drunk Jew. 

"You want some?! Look, they're giving them away for free!" he lifted the bottle in the air and I watched him amused. 

"I don't think they're free" he shrugged. 

"Who cares" and stopped in front of me, he lifted the bottle's spout to my lips and I took it to drink some of it. He leaned his forehead against my chest. 

"Don't throw up on me or..." 

"No" he laughed softly moving really close, pulling his forehead away, his nose replacing its place a few seconds later against my neck "You smell so good" I could hardly hear him over the noise around us. 

He breathed in against me to let his warm, alcohol-saturated breath glide gently against my skin after exhaling. 

"So good," he repeated, walking away with laughter, turning his back on me to try to move through the crowd. I sighed, I suppose I should follow him, after all we should both be in his room by tomorrow, or today?

"Let's get out of here!" shouted the Jew "I think I'm going to throw up!" I didn't want to talk or answer, I felt dizzy as hell and... and night air hit us as soon as we left the place "God, the world is fucked up!" he shouted out of nowhere running clumsily along the alleyway already empty by this hour "Dude!" I let go air walking towards him, feeling my stomach turn over with just one step "We'll be the heroes of the world!" He spread his arms in the air and then staggered into place and curled up in the world... in the what? On the ground, even though it was the world as such... anyway. 

"Yeah... yeah" I covered my lips, I shouldn't have had that triple bacon cheeseburger for dinner, God, what kind of mother do I have? 

"You're turning green fatass... you look like a frog, fat and green and... fat" well, if I was gonna throw up at least I'd do my best to do it on him. 

"Shut up, gay Jew." 

"Agh, I want to pee" he tried to stand up but didn't last long before he fell on his ass "Fuck" he held out his hand "Help me, I want to pee" 

"You look ridiculous"

"And you green and fat, help me you cunt" 

I would have tried if I didn't think I couldn't even stand up on my own. I sat next to him. 

"I said help me, not get comfortable fat tits!" I tried to look for my cell phone somewhere, at this rate the Jew would wet his pants and I... 

"We need a cab or something" I looked at the time... "It's... eight?" 

"Three" 

"Says eight." 

"It's three. How can it be eight o'clock if we came at... after eight?" That... made sense.

"Anyway, just... call a cab" I tried to find the app but God, since when was my fucking phone screen so small and... 

"where the hell are you Kenny! Answer!" and I found it... they were asking for the address, the gps for some reason wasn't working. 

"Where are we?" I looked over at Kyle, he just shrugged his head against my shoulder. 

"In your ass" and laughed like an idiot "I don't know exactly where, it's too big, I'm lost" he babbled nonsensically, yawning. 

"If we don't put the address, they won't pick us up." 

"Let's walk." 

"I don't think I can stand up" he was silent for a moment trying to move in his place. 

"Shit, me neither" I grunted annoyed looking around, trying to find some pole with directions or whatever but I couldn't see shit. 

His gaze traveled to my cell phone, he let out a stupid laugh. 

"What's so funny?" 

"That's Uber Eats, you fat fuck."

"Oh, shit." 

"Look, a pig in a suit" I followed his pointing finger apparently to... officer Barbrady. 

"God" I put his arm down in frustration "Don't look at him, if we don't look at him he might not notice us" I started rubbing my forehead, this couldn't be good. 

"Like... Medusa?" 

"What?" 

"Hey, guys, shouldn't you be home by now?" shit. 

I looked up at the guy who had mysteriously appeared in front of us, I didn't notice him coming... that's how fucked up I was. 

"Good night of..."

"Of course not! It's eight o'clock so far!" cried the Jew as the retard that he was.

"Are you guys drunk?" We smelled like booze up to our asses and couldn't stand up, plus the ginger stupidity sitting next to me had gotten considerably worse. 

"No" I answered as sober as I could sound, it didn't help the hiccups that followed my statement. But this guy was kind of a retard so, with any luck, we could... I don't know, I don't know. 

"I feel sick" mumbled Kyle covering his face "Can you take us home sir?" he looked up at the officer, his patrol car couldn't be far away I guess but... 

"Are you stupid?" I whispered in his ear. 

"What? No, I'm drunk..." I covered his lips looking at the officer. 

"We can go on our our… our own, definitely" and the asshole of Kahl moved my hand with this smile on his face. 

"You can't even get your ass off the floor." 

"I hurt my leg... foot... ankle" I tried to move it "My ankle, I twisted it, I can't walk properly" I looked at that guy, with dark glasses in the middle of the night, those buttons on the suit in the middle of the inquisition being hung, near suffocation and... he pursed his lips. 

"Oh, I'll get the patrol car over here then" he was going to go wherever it was but... 

"What? No... I mean..." and I felt someone's hand hit my head. Kyle had hit me? 

"Shut up, let the officer help us asshole, jeez" he looked up at that guy "It would help us a lot officer Bargaydy" I looked at him in disbelief for what he had just said. 

"What did you say?" asked the police officer. Kyle looked at him in confusion as if he didn't understand his mistake. 

"It would help us a lot officer Barbrady?" and the guy smiled pleased. 

"Yeah yeah, I heard wrong" and he started to walk away at a funny pace, if it wasn't for the fact that I was drunk I would have even felt that the guy was half drunk as well... but nah, we couldn't be that fucked up. 

"They're gonna take us on a patrol to your house, drunk, at three in the morning..." I said trying to get into the Jew's head what he'd done. "In what universe is that a good idea, because I don't give a shit, but your fat mother probably will." 

"We jumped out of the car before we got there and that's it" I looked at him in disbelief "As easy as that" 

"Easy as that" I lashed out "God..." but come on, it made sense... didn't it? "Well, let's do that." 

"When he goes around a corner" 

"By a corner" yes... it made sense. 

"See, I'm a fucking genius," I laughed underneath. 

"My ass is a genius" we saw the patrol car in the distance, blue and red bouncing off the lonely street and... what if he turned on the siren? I mean, there were a lot of teenagers drinking alcohol in that club in front of him... they'd probably run out and... "I have an idea" I muttered to Kahl, he looked at me curiously, then at the patrol car, then at the club and a smile bathed his face in complicity. 

"Oh yes" he stopped in front of us and... I did my best to stand up, leaning against the car door. 

"Hey officer" he put the glass down. 

"Get in, I'm taking you home." 

"Yeah, yeah, but you know what? South Park is so boring, it's been a while since I've seen a cop in action" he fixed his gaze on the steering wheel, then on a small metal bottle at his side... Alcohol? 

"Well... yeah, there's not much to do at the headquarters... at least not for me" because he was useless. 

"Bullshit, see that place?" I pointed to the club.

"Yes?" 

"Turn on the siren and see what happens," he looked at me. I couldn't detail his expression because of the glasses but it was obvious that he wasn't convinced of it. 

"Why would I do that?" 

"because you can" he looked a second time at the flask on his left and the button I assumed would trigger the noise. 

"Yep, that's definitely reason enough" supported me Kyle who miraculously had stood up as well "It's not like there's a police code or..." I pushed him away, I don't know if he fell or not, I just know he shut up and that was enough. 

"Come on, officer, this teenager wants to hear the power of the police force” 

"Just for a moment" I smiled contentedly. I saw his finger approaching and my smile grew expectantly and... it sounded. 

Loud and noisy, I heard Kyle whining probably because of his sensitive senses but whatever, not much happened between that and people screaming. 

"Police, police!" and they ran out of the club like an anthill that had been set on fire. 

I couldn't hold back the laughter for long, Kyle was laughing from wherever he was just the same as desperate people saw the patrol car and ran around it as if this fat guy really was capable of catching them. I didn't think they were that retarded, but that was as far as their emancipation went, I guess. Pussies. 

"What's going on?!" asked the officer trying to get out of the car but too slow and stupid to really make it. 

"No idea" I said with laughter moving towards the back door leaning against the car, a girl stumbled near us almost falling over in her desperation to run away. I snorted at the sight.

I reached out my hand to Kyle who was sitting on the sidewalk enjoying the show.

"They may not respect you Barbrady, but at least they are afraid of you" he took it and I helped him to his feet. 

Yes, these moments of complicity tended to put jokes aside. 

"That was great" he said opening the back door, but when we noticed, the fat cop was coming out to ask what the hell was going on. 

"Fuck" I muttered. He pulled out his... radio or whatever the fuck that was. 

"...Yeah, teenagers with alcohol... no, I'm not drunk... no... yeah... maybe... they're running... yeah..." 

"Is he calling for backup?" Kyle whispered next to me, both waiting for him to get off his ass and take us home.

"I think so, I'm not sure" if he was, then... that would be bad for us. The guy couldn't notice our drunkenness because he was retarded and he himself had a major drinking problem going on in his life. The other cops wouldn't be such idiots. 

"That's not good." 

"Nope." 

"Are you coming? Are you sure? ...wasn't that nice the joke last time..." 

"Shit" we said at the time. 

"Let's get out of here," Kyle said as he started to open the door. 

"I have a better idea" and I moved to the driver's seat with complete clumsiness, I thanked that slightly mentally retarded Barbrady for leaving the keys in place and the engine running... 

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Getting us out of here!" 

"Hey!" and the fat cop protests of course didn't wait. 

"Are you crazy?!" I saw through the rear-view mirror the crazy Jew yelling, leaving out the images in the side mirrors, not realizing I was pushing one or another fag out of the way with the car. 

"Shut up you jewish faggot, you're breaking my concentration!" and Barbrady was running towards us, his lungs not giving out any more as he radioed that his car had been stolen. We didn't have much time. 

As we reached the intersection I maneuvered to turn into the direction of the neighborhood and stepped on the accelerator moving the gears at a relatively high speed. 

"Not so fast! You want to kill us?!" It was more than obvious there was fear in his voice, and I didn't blame him, the few cars that passed by would brush past us, luckily it was just straight ahead until... "Shit shit shit shit... we're monumentally fucked if they see us... God, that cop saw us! Oh God, oh God oh..." 

"Shut up!" I slowed down by looking at the suburbs, my house, Stan's house and then Kyle's house, all in a row. 

"This is where we jump?!" Some dog barking started to be heard in the distance. 

"What?" I thought about stopping the car and... walking, or at least trying; but it would only be a few more meters. 

I saw a black figure swooping towards the bumper for some reason, and in my state of surprise and alcoholism instead of pressing the pedal to stop I pressed the accelerator. The car seemed to pass over something and an animal screech left me static in my place "Shit" 

"What was that?" I opened the door. 

"Nothing, let's go, Barbrady said they stole his patrol car, they must be looking for it" and I tried to get out of it watching the Jew follow me. 

"God" 

"Don't look back, Kahl." 

"What? Why..." 

"Just don't..." I grabbed his arm to start moving as fast as I could towards his house. At least the jew was right about one thing, and that was that maybe not today, but at least tomorrow we'd be as or even more fucked than Kenny's ass. 

We jumped over the fence in his backyard and... no, we couldn't climb over back to his room. He opened the kitchen door in a moment of timely lucidity and we advanced to his room with the grace of Jimmy on acid. 

And we finally broke through the door into our momentary refuge from all the crap outside. 

"We are..." 

"Yeah, I know, we're up to our dicks in shit" he walked to his bed and threw himself on it, I held myself against the door getting filled up once more with that odious smell of his. 

"I still want to pee" he mumbled against the sheets "Why didn't you remind me that I wanted to pee when we passed the bathroom?" 

"Shut up, you're drunk." 

"You too" I walked to the bed and lay down next to him, he bounced a little bit in his place which seemed to make him gag. 

"Don't..." 

"I won't do it! My stomach is stro..." 

"Silence" I whispered covering his fucking mouth. He smiled, opened his lips to slide his tongue between my fingers "Ey!" and I pushed it away immediately. He laughed instead, rolling over to the side, sirens starting to sound in the distance. 

"You smell so good" he repeated closing his eyes, smiling and sniffing around me. 

"I thought betas were unscented" he bit his lip. 

"You'd be surprised what I can smell, and see... and hear," he opened his eyes. 

The curtains were still wide open, so artificial light from the outside filtered in, covering his face with a faint orange veil; some curls came down in disarray running along his face, over his lips, his nose, his irises; making this pleasant play of colours typical of him, emerald in fire... so strange. 

"You can feel my essence, what is it like?" he asked, clumsily pulling out part of his hair. 

I breathed in gratitude for the inhibition provided by the alcohol, savoring the fragrance more freely, feeling my lower part shudder at that third tone, alien to vanilla, to unripe strawberries, which I could not distinguish but... which in turn was intoxicating, addictive so... 

"Delicious" he smiled at my description "Makes me... hungry, I guess," and then he laughed a little. 

"Fucking fatso" he turned to the window as the chaos outside seemed to escalate, surely they'd found the patrol. "How exactly?” 

"Like... sweet and sour at the same time" 

"Those are flavors fatass" 

"Shut up" 

"You smell like chocolate and... something else, like that liquor tone that seems to ecstasy just by sucking it up and leaves you with a bitter feeling on the back of your palate..."

"Doesn't sound nice" he came looking for my neck one more time... 

"It is, I can't explain it... it's like those uncomfortable sensations that eventually absorb you and make you addicted to them and..." I couldn't move; maybe because of the smell around me that somehow seemed to cloud my consciousness, a dangerous mixture with the alcohol that was already running through my veins "... I just want to try it, but I'm afraid it won't be enough" he then slipped his tongue down my neck and a cold current came down my spine into my... 

"You're drunk, Kahl, just..." I put my arms up to try to push him away but as soon as the heat from his chest covered my palms I didn't have the strength to do it. 

He raised his face to the height of mine when he saw my lack of resistance, he smiled in amusement and his breath saturated with alcohol reached me, a silent pleading covering his gaze. 

"Can I... just try a little more?" 


	5. Lust

"Can I... just try a little more?" my air escaped after the diction, my digits tempted to seek out the heat of his skin. 

The alcohol was breaking down my inhibitions to the point of making them almost non-existent, dancing dangerously with that aroma which, although light, was strong enough to make my intimacy tremble, to make my blood boil, to make me want to know what to taste, what to absorb, what to feel might involve. 

And there was this voice in turn, telling me to stop; I would regret it, since I was about to do something as bad as it actually was... the problem is that it didn't seem so bad, it seemed quite 'accessible' after all, and that was more than enough... or at least it felt enough. 

He was silent, watching me carefully, as if what was about to continue could somehow affect him quite a lot.

The chaos had been going on for some time now and voices were speaking around the place with already muffled police sirens. I could hear them but I really did not pay attention, right now my world was reduced to that particularly clear face in front of me, the darkness not seeming to affect his form, so real and… 

"What does it mean... to try?" he asked and I had no idea, I just knew that as soon as I got close enough my body would move on its own and therefore... I would just follow my instincts as a process already stamped in my genetics, in my nature, in my person, in that number of needs already running through my system since my birth. 

"I don't know... but I want to know, do you?" 

"I don't even know how the fuck we got here and... I have no idea what I'm saying" he covered his face by spinning in place to face up "The alcohol works in mysterious ways" he joked.

"isn't God..." 

"God, alcohol, whatever," with no real control over me, my hand tried to seek his face, moving in the direction of his figure for some reason, anxious, needy; but when I was about to brush against him, the window was opened wide. I tensed up in my place and turned as fast as I could to the figure that came in. Kenny. 

"Damn, it's a mess outside" he whispered as he closed behind him, apparently he still had the ability to climb. 

"Where the fuck were you?" asked Cartman without moving from his spot, the atmosphere was completely ruined by this point. 

"Doing things" he said as he lay down beside us, roughly tucking in between the two of us, pushing us around like... I don't know, but not nice for sure. 

"Ey!" spat Cartman out for being run over like the sack of fat that he was. 

"Shut up, fatso" he was cold, his coat was a little damp from the snow that had probably started to fall. 

We were silent for a while, crisscrossed along the bed that was too small for the three of us, staring at the ceiling, too noisy outside to try to sleep and... anyway, we weren't even in the position to do it. 

"Whoever was driving that car ran over Stan's dog" Kenneth said out of the blue, breaking the silence.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. He took a breath. 

"It ran over stan's dog, he was out there picking it up, apparently he broke its leg or something" god, this fucking cocksucker. 

"Cartman, what the hell did you do?" I mumbled trying not to raise my voice, yet I couldn't hide the anger in it. 

"You should be glad we didn't die on the goddamn ride" 

"No shit, you guys stole the car?" Kenny commented suddenly excited sitting down in his place "God, you saved my ass, those cops had caught me but then Bargaydi called and said that they had taken his car" he laughed as silently as he could, though the chaos outside covered the sound "Unbelievable". 

"Why did they take you?" he yawned. 

"No idea." 

"Because he's white trash, what else?" I rolled my eyes at Cartman's comment. I wanted to kick him out of here because of what he'd done. Fuck, how could I still be around a pig like that? 

"The pizza never came" I sighed. 

"I didn't order any pizza" Kenny just breathed out in answer"Now what?" I asked. 

"I don't know" Cartman was silent, hopefully he'd throw up during the night and then choke on his own vomit or something. It would be a pretty fitting end for him. I smiled at the idea and saw blue and red reflections on the ceiling, lights from patrol cars systematically dancing "Sleep?" 

I was exhausted, too exhausted to even care about Stan's dog, under different circumstances I would have kicked Cartman in the balls by now but...

"Did he say our names?" Cartman asked out of the blue. I didn't know what he meant so I ignored him, Kenny also did "Hey! Did officer Bargaydi say our gnomes?" 

"Gnomes?" 

"Names" 

"Ah, no, I don't think so" maybe we'd be lucky enough that he hadn't found out who had taken the patrol, it was a bit unlikely but... possible I guess. 

I closed my eyes, and despite the noise outside I felt myself fading into sleep.

* * *

By the time I woke up Kenny was gone, Cartman on the other hand was somehow rolled up in all the blankets, lying on the floor like some kind of cat or whatever... I shivered in my place, I didn't have a sheet of course, but at least I was alone in bed. 

A twinge right over my eyelids seemed to bury them as soon as I tried to lift them... 

"Fuck" I whispered feeling the noisy moving of the branches outside, snow falling from the strong breeze as if each snowflake was equivalent to a fucking avalanche... I covered myself with the pillow shrinking in my position, in pain, trying to remember something but... nothing, just noise, patrols? I remembered officer Barbrady but... 

I closed my eyes trying to go back to sleep but the already present cold made it impossible. I looked down at that ball of blankets on my floor, breathing up and down under the sheets at a slow pace. 

I stretched my arm out to him to try to grab a blanket but it was impossible, He was completely wrapped up in them, and his visibly inhuman weight made me unable to pull at least one. 

"Asshole" I murmured in surrender after trying to pull it for a few seconds, frowning once more at the punctures that came from time to time and those imperceptible noises that caused waves of stinging in my brain.

I watched him silently, it seemed that everyone was still asleep. I let go of a yawn and kicked him, he still had his damned boots on. He groaned low and turned in his place, I kicked him harder again.

"Stop" he muttered in his sleep and I smiled in amusement giving him a third kick "Agh!" 

"Come on, I want to see your first moment of hangover, you know, to make my day." 

"Fuck you" he covered his ears, as if that could help. I laughed softly at the scene. 

"Get up, piggy, we have to look like we slept at least three fucking hours here." 

"Shut the fuck up" he almost yelled in annoyance, covering himself more insistently. 

"No, I won't" a fourth kick "Move your fat ass" 

"God!" he popped out in a furious movement, but as soon as the sun hit him he immediately covered himself again "Damn it!" he squeezed against the blankets in annoyance and I could not help laughing about it. Definitely seeing him lying in deep shit was the best cure for my headache. 

"Hey, fatso" he rolled away from my feet to avoid a next kick, and I really didn't have the heart to get up and follow him "Hey!" he ignored me "Fatso!" 

"I'm not fat." 

"Sure, whatever you say, dude" I kept silent for a second “Fatass!” 

"God"

"Fat, hey hey, fatty!" 

"Fuck you, please, go and jump off a fucking bridge or something" I laughed, looking for my cell phone, it was about seven, where the fuck had Kenny gone that early? 

I wrote to him but apparently the message didn't come, I let the air out by throwing the phone to the side of the bed. 

"When's your next meeting?" I asked, remembering the reason he had initially come.

"In eight days, you're coming with me" I barely heard him under the covers, his voice hoarse and drowsy. 

"What?" 

"You're coming with me, it's not far, Cherry Hills"

"Well, that's far enough for me" I said annoyed. He snorted. 

"It's not like you have a lot of options, you're an Omega after all." God, every time I heard him say that word I felt like punching him, it was like a fucking spell or something. 

"Your fat ass doesn't have options" I mumbled in disgust. 

"Oh, you're gonna say no to me?" he asked threateningly. Fucker. 

I sighed annoyed while standing up, giving him one last kick before leaving the room. 

"Ey!" he yelled as I closed the door, Ike was coming out of his room.

"Hey Ike"

"You should be less noisy if you plan to sneak out in the middle of the night, I could hear your fat friend swearing every time he stumbled on a step" I shrugged in my place in shame. 

"Sorry about that" he smiled empathetically. 

"I don't care, you're my example not to follow when it comes to, you know, breaking the rules" and he went into the bathroom... fuck, I wanted to go into the bathroom. 

At least my parents hadn't listened... had they?; anyway, I had kept so many secrets for my father by this point that he couldn't accuse me of anything, I had immunity from him for the shit he had gotten into when we were just kids, and my mother was on so much sleeping medicine, that technically speaking, she was probably dependent to it... anyway, old age taking its toll in insomnia I guess. 

Evening came eventually, the fatass went home for lunch and I stayed home unfortunately. I had planned to go to the movies with Stan or something but he canceled for some reason, I didn't bother to ask, most of the time he canceled because of Wendy. 

Cartman came back because he's a piece of shit and showed me his process in that organization, characters he'd met, advances he'd made and possibilities for the future; in short, he proved my theory wrong, the fact that his brain had gone to his ass and all he thought about was shit. 

He needed my knowledge then for his speeches, to make them up, to make them appealable and reasonable; after all even when one of the main characteristics of ideologies was their breaking point, they always needed a reasonable enough basis to move masses. That was the fascinating thing about religion, it was all about 'faith', so the search for a breaking point was a direct affront to one of its main dogmas. 

Anyway, I spent the most tedious and boring afternoon of my life trying to explain to Cartman certain issues that could help him to improve his speeches. His dialectics were amazing, his guidelines, his tone, his confidence and that quality to keep everything simple; but to convince them he needed to convince himself in turn, and the best way to do that was to know the enemy he was facing, knowledge is power at the end of the day. 

Monday, the routine was back on our porch and here we were, waiting for the bus as usual. Everybody but Kenny. 

"Sorry about Saturday Kyle, we couldn't make it to the premiere" 

"Its okay, apparently that movie sucked" I smiled empathetically. Cartman yawned as he slid his finger across the cell phone screen in disdain.

"Anyway, I just hope Sparky's okay," he remarked distantly. 

"Sparky? Did something happen with Sparky?" he let out an angry look, wrinkling his brow with the simple memory. 

"Some drunk asshole drove over him with a stolen police car" I looked at him in surprise, memories of the police cars on Friday night reaching out to me and... Oh, shit. 

"How bad was it?" I asked, I couldn't help but feel a little nervous, the feeling showing in my voice. 

"A few fractures in the front legs and that's it." God.

"Wow, I am..." But the sound of muffled laughter stopped my diction. I looked over at cartman who was covering his mouth like the subject was a fucking joke.

"What's so funny, asshole?" Stan asked, reasonably angry. The Fatso shrugged his shoulders. 

"Nothing, just... nothing" he commented without bothering to hide a soft laugh that escaped him, not taking his bored look off the screen. 

"What a son of a bitch you are Cartman" if I remember correctly he was the one driving the car after all. 

"Just ignore him, he's being the dick he always is" Stan said. I heard the car approaching from several streets away, it'd be here in a few minutes I guess. 

The day went on as usual even though Kenny didn't come; I sat at Stan and Wendy's table, but a certain tension between those two seemed to cover the place. I thought about leaving, but to my misfortune or fortune Cartman joined in ignoring Wendy's complaints. 

On Tuesday the fatass decided to walk me home, we hadn't made enough progress I guess, and although I was more than sure he wouldn't need much more for his next speech, when he got something into his head it was; in turn, something hard to stop him. 

"I will die" he said as he lay on the bed after seeing the group of books I had taken from one of my shelves. 

"Come on, you say your next meeting is on Saturday, don't you?" he covered his annoyed face. 

"I'm gonna die from jewish germs, god, being around rats for so long makes me sick" I snapped my tongue... and yes, we had spent too much time together, I was getting tired of looking at his ass face. 

"Yeah, well, I feel like I'm getting fat just looking at you." I put the books aside and sat down. 

"You know what lie you're gonna tell your mom to get out of town for the weekend?" 

"No" I would have asked him the same thing, but I knew that his mother probably didn't care too much that he was gone for that time; that or the asshole didn't care that she cared... anyway, dysfunctional families, I was nobody to talk about them. 

I took one of the books to start looking for the chapter I needed. 

"You can tell her you'll go with me to a family reunion in Nebraska or whatever" yes... we'd done that as kids, right? It was like a county fair, the kind where they reward the fattest pig or the one who eats the most shit in the shortest time... yeah, it was definitely like that "My mom could... you know, lie and stuff" I looked up from the pages. 

"Does she know..." he smiled. 

"Yeah" he looked up at me "Omegas are supposed to be... I don't know, pretty familiar by nature, that thing about protecting their children and stuff. Sometimes I think she lost that instinct along with her ovaries" he closed his eyes "And tries to compensate by fulfilling my whims, unable to recognize what good parenting depends on because she erased that part of her; like a corrupt code or some shit like that" 

"You've really analyzed this whole... situation, haven't you?" he took a deep breath. 

"Enough." 

"Enough for what?" he wrinkled his nose in disgust. 

"To make me feel sick" and opened his eyes once more, staring at the ceiling "You'll see it when we get there" and sat down on the bed "Anyway" he got up and I followed him with my eyes leaving the book aside, the dusk starting to dress the streets that compensated the lack of sun with artificial light "I'm out, your shity face and this trash smell is making me sick" I clicked my tongue in annoyance. 

"Whatever, I hope you fall down the stairs and break your neck" he snorted. 

"Same" he said closing behind him. 

What the hell had I gotten myself into?

* * *

A slow cold ran through my belly, eventually materialized by this thick and soft substance and this sweet aroma saturating my senses and approaching my consciousness, inciting it to perdition itself, to the submission of the intellect to pleasure.

I searched for the cause of the loss of my inhibitions and found him there, kneeling in front of me holding my member in his hands, chocolate spread evenly covering the object of his attention while his gaze remained fixed on it with an almost palpable desire to savour it. 

"Suck" I ordered and sapphires watched me, a vast chasm expanding as its aroma invaded me, bitter, addictive "Deep down" he smiled at my comment. Then bit his lip before turning his full attention to the area in front of him. I saw his tongue hesitate to taste the tip, a trace of chocolate slipping off it as he moved away, a second lick, a second taste, and the rhythm increased until he took it between his lips and... 

I opened my eyes, a boring roof was waiting for me, the alarm was still not sounding and... 

"What the hell was that?" I mumbled sitting in my place. The thunderous memory of the sunrise began to ring almost immediately, but the first thing my eyes caught was the... erection in... 

Don't... don't fuck with me, my God. 

"No, please" I covered my face in frustration. 

Cartman; I'd had such a vulgar and disgusting dream about Cartman. Fuck, I'd rather have it with Kenny, even Stan... but Cartman? 

"No" I muttered in bed once more, the alarm sounding in the background as I tried not to brush the need between my legs with anything... "No no no" was a nightmare, yes, a fucking nightmare. 

I had read that sometimes those condemned to the gallows died with an erection; yes, it must have been something like that, a horrible, near-death experience which... well, it was on the same level. Yep. 

I tried to get on with my routine and after a while there I was, standing at the bus stop, no one had arrived yet; I had prepared myself so quickly to try to avoid that sickening feeling in my chest, the feeling that I had done something terribly wrong, that I ended up here a few minutes less than usual. 

"Hey" I looked up the voice, Kenny. He hadn't come in on Monday or Tuesday, I didn't expect to see him here so early. 

"Hey" he smiled amused standing next to me. 

"You look terrible" 

"And that makes you happy?" 

"It's just funny, you're usually the neatest of the bunch, are the hormones getting to you?" I sighed in frustration.

"They're driving me crazy." 

"Really? I thought we already were, we live in this little piece of shit town after all" I shrugged. 

"Even crazier." 

"Did something happen?" I cocked my head, I'd never talk about it but I could be vague, he always was.

"Unpleasant... dreams" 

"Oh" he muttered in interest "That kind of dream" I watched him wiggling his eyebrows in disbelief. 

"Why do you always jump to sexual conclusions? I only said two damn words" he shrugged. 

"Well, it's a scale, isn't it?" 

"Scale?" 

"Of dreams, at the base are normal dreams, then lucid dreams, then nightmares... and those that can be most disturbing depending on the person you dream about or the context: wet dreams" he illustrated by moving his hand, pointing in the air at such levels. 

"Yes, yes" I murmured, annoyed by his idiotic perception. 

"Like dreaming about your mother" he grunted in disgust "That's... ugh" I looked at him suddenly grossed out. 

"What the fuck, Kenny?" he covered his face in fake embarrassment. 

"It's not something anyone is proud of." 

"Shut up, I didn't dream about my mom" and he placed his hand away to look at me in victory. 

"Oh, but you dreamt about someone else... who?" he asked, I rolled my eyes at his unfounded interest. 

"With you" I stared at him as I said that and his eyebrows rose in surprise, then he let go air with apparent disappointment. 

"Bah, and that makes you crazy? If it did, every damn person in the high school would be insane by this point" he said the last thing playfully. 

"Yeah, yeah, everybody wants to fuck you, sure" I muttered with relief that I had diverted the conversation. 

"I thought you were gonna say Cartman or the PC principal or whatever"

"Cartman? Nope, never." 

"Hey sluts" and the mayor asshole showed up, I looked away almost immediately, I couldn't look at him, not right now. 

"I don't see your mother anywhere, Cartman" Kenny said contemptuously, pulling out his cell phone. Cartman just snorted in response doing the same thing. I followed the example of both of them. 

Eventually Stan arrived, as did the bus, I sat down next to him. 

"Is Sparky all right now?" his gaze was fixed on the window, distant in some way. Wendy was nowhere to be found. 

"Yeah, he's slowly recovering." 

"Is something wrong?" he sighed, leaning his head against the window. 

"It's Wendy." I couldn't help but wrinkle my nose in disgust. Not again, please. 

"Yes?" 

"I know you're sick of our fights but... this time it's different" there was real concern in his voice... but come on, there almost always was. 

"What's different?" 

"I think she's cheating on me" well... that was new indeed, yep.

"With whom?" 

"No idea but... lately she's been going out on her own quite a bit, and... turns off her cell phone at certain times, cancels plans..." he covered his face in frustration "And it's been worse since they took Bebe" I was silent for a moment not really aware of what to say, I'm a shit at this kind of trouble "I think... I don't know, she's been very affected by it and I haven't been able to, you know, make her feel better" 

"You just have to be by her side, listen to her, like some kind of emotional support I guess" he smiled with a hint of sadness. 

"The problem is I'm not an emotional support even for myself, I'm a shit Kyle, and I feel like... I can't help her when she's in precarious situations, you know, because I can't even help myself" this conversation was taking on a little more depressing overtones than usual. 

"I don't think this is the right time to talk about this" I circled his shoulders, I could already see the school from the window "We can go somewhere after school, and I'll listen to you if you want" because that was all I could do. He smiled in my direction.

"You're still the same Kyle after all" I looked up in annoyance. 

"Yeah, I thought I said that already," he bit his lip with a certain amount of regret. 

"Sorry about that, I was a bit... shocked I guess" I nodded "If you need help with anything just tell me" and nodded again, the car stopping. 

"Come on, let's go" 

"Okay"

* * *

"Should I trust her?" he asked, stirring his black drink with disdain, I looked over to the coffee bar, Tweek was talking to Craig, they wouldn't listen. 

"She's never done anything of that sort, why start distrusting now?" he sighed while taking a sip, five unoccupied sachets of sugar resting on the side of his cup. After tasting it, he wrinkled his nose in disgust, took out a liquor bottle and poured some amber liquid into it until the cup was almost overflowing... "Dude, you're combining shit with shit" I said, not hiding my disgust at seeing the drink. 

"Well, I'm shit. Apparently I need shit to be less shit." I took a deep breath. 

"There's some serious low self-esteem issues going on there, huh?" He frowned in tedium. 

"It's not... low self-esteem, I'm a beta, I'm average I guess... but Wendy's an alpha" he drank a little more "Her needs are above me" 

"I don't think needs vary depending on nature" he chewed his lip. 

"They do, you know his parents bought him a motorbike recently?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise "I didn't find out until a few days ago, apparently she got her license and everything..." 

"Wow" 

"It's like... I don't know, like I'm losing her" and he finished the drink in one sip, cooled down enough by the alcohol apparently. 

"Well, she's in a stage of change I guess, it's normal for her to need some space, isn't it? There's no one else like her in high school after all" he tilted his head once more and took out the leather and metal decanter, poured the rest of the liquid into the empty cup, so strong that the scent even reached me.

"I don't know" 

"If anything happens she'll let you know about it." 

"But I don't want to wait for something to happen, I want to try to fix it or avoid it, but I don't want to be a fucking stalker either" he sighed "Geez" and drank the rest of a damn sip. He growled, probably from the sting of the drink, putting the cup aside, "Why does everything have to be so complicated?" he muttered underneath, resting his chin on his hand. 

"No idea" I muttered without much more to say, thinking about it, to see if I could get some inspirational phrase out of my ass or something but... 

"And how's the... omega thing going?" he whispered the last part, that word really made me cringe at this point. 

"Pretty normal, I guess. No big deal" he cocked his head in curiosity. 

"Did you... have your first heat already? How's that?" God... I didn't want to talk about such... shit with Stan, it was like sharing tips on how to suck a dick, did girls do that? No fucking idea. 

"Yeah and... pretty normal I guess, it's like having the flu" not really but... he raised his eyebrows like he realized something. 

"So that day when you had a fever it was because..." 

"Yep" he looked down.

"I see" he looked at me one more time "How does it feel... to smell Wendy then? I mean, being an omega it must be... I don't know, better?" there was a slight trace of insecurity in his tone, letting his tact go to hell from the moment he uttered the word 'omega'. 

"No Stan, I don't want to fuck your girlfriend" he frowned almost immediately. 

"That's not what I was trying to say." 

"I don't get a hard-on for her either, I don't have dreams about her, I don't look for her in my heat, I'm not a fucking dog on her ass..."

"I understand, you don't have to be like that, God" he yawned looking out of the huge window overlooking the street, the shopping area was getting lively as the sunset bathed the snow-covered mountains which even from here were visible because of the lack of buildings, the higher buildings were three or four storeys high after all. The cafeteria began to fill up, I looked at the time on the wall clock, it was about six o'clock. 

His cell phone rang, Closer from the chainsmokers as ringtone. Wendy. 

He pulled it out and waited a few seconds before answering. 

"I'll be right back" he muttered, getting up from his place, I followed him with my eyes until he came out of the cafeteria. 

My cell phone had been vibrating but I ignored it because of the situation, I took it out. 

" _Hey omega, my mom already called yours. All set for the weekend_ " I sighed in tedium, I didn't want to go, I really didn't want to go. 

I had been thinking about how to affect him, adding biases of a not so pleasant nature to his future class was the key, but would it be enough? I felt so lost right now, everything had changed completely from one moment to the next, so drastic that I felt helpless in the face of the situation. It was really frustrating. 

It could affect his investors in some way, maybe make him look left-wing, a few communist terms here and there, or make him do something serious enough to affect his criminal record - even more so. I had no fucking clue and time was running out for me. 

The figure sitting in front of me took me out of my head, Stan, this completely abstracted look on his face. 

"What happened?" 

"No fucking idea" he took the liquor bottle and stood up again... what had he sat down for in the first place? Whatever Wendy told him killed more than one brain cell. 

"What do you mean, no idea?" I asked in confusion. 

"I have to go" he said before throwing a vague farewell and leaving the place... he'd tell me eventually, I guess. I let go of my breath looking in the direction of Tweek, Craig was gone so he was just there, trying to clean the bar without throwing anything in the process, shrugging his shoulders anxiously every time someone came up to ask something. 

I put on my headphones and left music to flow to get out of the place, another message from the Cartman. 

" _ Remember, it'll be on cherry hill... I'll explain the details later _ " 

"Cherry Hill?" I wrote back. 

_ "Yes, there's going to be an investor meeting or something. _ " 

"Political marketing, is that it?" 

" _ What the hell is that? _ " I rolled my eyes in annoyance putting the phone in my pocket, wind starting to blow harder than usual, and clouds covering the sun that was already falling behind the mountains. 

I didn't even understand why he wanted to take me, there was no real need if all he required from me was my knowledge. Damn fatso, that was somehow suspicious... 

Fuck, now this thing in my chest was starting to resonate, the motherfucker was gonna do something, didn't he? yeah, he was probably gonna do something. He had an extortion point on me and the only shit he had done so far was that cooking stuff. Was he planning something big? god, he must have been planning something hella big. 

I stretched out my neck in hopes of clearing that feeling but there it was, and there it would be until who knows when... and where would I spend the night? with him?. 

Crap, something bad was gonna happen. That little flash of paranoia had led to this terrible feeling that I almost always got when it came to Cartman, and which, to my misfortune, was almost always right. 

Even though I woke up after probably nine or ten hours of sleep by Thursday morning, I couldn't get that bad feeling off my chest. I had been staring up at the ceiling like an idiot trying to find some basis for my suspicions. What if he was going to rat me out in front of all those people and this was all just to deflect me into his trap? Oh my... I looked for the pills right away but by the time I looked, there was only one last pill. 

"Oh shit" I muttered taking the little jar I had put them in, a lonely pill with the symbol of the playboy magazine crashing against the yellow plastic walls as I shook it. 

And another morning that I managed as quickly as possible to distract me from my shitty worries, another morning that I arrived too early at the bus stop. This time I had to stay alone with my thoughts for at least fifteen minutes, that's never good. 

Was he going to fuck me over there, in some way or another? maybe public humiliation? public scorn? expose me to a bunch of alphas and betas hungry for omega dick? find a way to stop the odorless pills from taking effect? induce me into a heat in some way? 

"Hey" I looked up, relieved to hear an alien voice next to me, Stan. 

"Stan" 

"Wow, did something happen?" he asked apparently sensing my nervousness. 

"No... yes... I don't know, it hasn't happened, but it might," he arched his eyebrows in curiosity. 

"What could happen?" 

"I'm going for the mutilation option, but... I think I'm getting a little carried away at this point." 

"What? Who would do that? You look like Tweek right now." 

"Cartman" I spat in frustration. I took a deep breath to lower my tone in response to his tension "He... he knows I'm an omega" 

"Oh... shit" he said, understanding almost immediately the problem "How..." 

"No, don't ask." 

"Okay" and we kept quiet for a few seconds "Just look for something to fuck him with in return and just, you know, keep each other's secrets or some shit like that, I don't know" 

"no, the motherfucker is so fucking loose that he freely exposes his weaknesses and no one really has the power to use them against him" he had told me that his mother was an omega, but something told me that he didn't give a shit about that; what about being an open fascist? I mean, that's his fucking trademark. He still had that creepy rag doll, but everybody knew about his sick obsession with that stuff and... God, there was so much already exposed that the fucker was almost immune to any kind of blackmail at this point. 

"I'm out of ideas," he sighed resignedly. 

"Me too." 

"God, did they run over Stan's dog again? what the hell is wrong with you guys?" and Kenny arrived, we both looked at him and before long a small conversation began about the supid shit the fatass had done over the years; but, the punishments of the unwary who had taken their mockery too far had instilled this widespread terror throughout the entire high school. Someone could put up a thousand and one naked pictures of him by tomorrow and the heads of the guilty would probably be on spikes in front of the entrance the next morning. Or at least poisoned, with suicide family members or even no parents, it was a Russian roulette game with six bullets in the gun, one more deadly than the last. 

"And remember that video when Heidi broke up with him?" Kenny said humorously, laughing nervously. 

"I didn't really understand shit about it, I just know the asshole ended up with a broken nose" 

"Yep, she turned out to be an alpha, didn't she?" said Stan at the end, the car was coming and Cartman hadn't arrived, wasn't he planning to come?

"Alpha?" I never fully understood the incident, all I knew is that the asshole in his drive to control everything probably lost that control and ended up sending everything to hell... or that was my theory. 

"Yeah, she was transferred, you know alphas have instant scholarships to the best schools in every state... apparently she decided to leave" said Stan, probably quite aware of the issue thanks to Wendy, the fatass never talked to us about it. 

"And was that before or after Cartman... did everything he did?" Kenny asked, putting it simply, it was a pretty chaotic time.

"After" so it was probably a consequence, who would have thought. 

The bus arrived and we got on, the fat ass was nowhere to be seen, he didn't come the rest of the day either. 

I sighed as I left the school, watching Stan go off with Wendy into the parking lot while Kenny said goodbye to some people walking away in the direction of what I assumed would be the nasty area of South Park, that place was like his second home after all, just above his parents' house.

I walked home alone, more thoughts overflowing from that son-of-a-bitch side of my conscience that usually only foresaw danger in my inability to make sense of that fat fuck's actions. 

And then I remembered the pills... shit. 

I took my cell phone, it wasn't long before I got uptown. 

"Hey Kenny, I need some more of your magic" I wrote, I put it away because he would most likely take a couple of hours to respond; and I was right, by the time he responded it was about eleven o'clock, my nervousness had kept me awake. 

" _ Sure, I can come by your house early tomorrow morning if you want, anything else? _ " something else. 

I didn't know if what I was about to ask was possible, but I didn't have many options; I felt like I was going to walk into a cave overflowing with wolves with a half torn hide. At least I wanted someone by my side in such a context. 

I yawned and typed lazily, yet hesitantly. 

"Will you come with me to Cherry Hill?" it took a while to respond. 

" _ When? _ " 

"This weekend" 

" _ Nope _ " I let go of the annoying air. 

"Why not?" 

" _ I have something called a life, Kyle, and I'd rather spend it with a dick up my ass than putting up with whatever it is you're going to do over there _ " I rolled my eyes in irritation, though I didn't blame him, it was quite an area... probably full of upper-middle class alphas or betas. 

"Please? Cartman's going and I really don't want to be alone with him" 

Wings fluttered outside as a group of birds squawked across the skies heading south for the prominent winter, cars had been descending steadily for a while so you could only hear the occasional solitary footstep on the sidewalk, branches creaking and snow crashing noisily to the ground and covering the occasional dying grass... no, I couldn't sleep. 

" _ Cartman? _ " for some reason that seemed to draw his interest. 

"Will you come?" 

" _ I want something in return Kyle, that place is going to be boring as fuck _ " I took a breath in expectation of something probably bad. 

"Tell me." 

" _ Alcohol… Like, lots of alcohol _ "

"Kenny, the last time I drank with Cartman we ended up stealing a patrol car and running over Stan's dog... last week, remember?" the chat went 'silent' for a while. 

"Come on, I need fuel to work properly Kyle, and that place will suck it all out of me... with any luck i'll get them to suck on something else though" I rolled my eyes in annoyance. This was bad but even worse was the thought of being alone with that fatass. 

"Fine" 

" _ Great. You are fucking awesome _ " I put my cell phone aside and covered myself almost completely, trying to think of ways to screw Cartman over the way he would probably screw me. 

* * *

Friday. 

"Well, Jew, we'll go in Liane's car, I don't know how long it'll take but we'll be there by seven at night at the latest" he spoke as we walked down the halls towards the cafeteria. I took a breath, I had been avoiding this conversation. 

"There's something I need to tell you" he looked over his shoulder at me before he went in. 

"Yeah?" 

"Kenny's coming with us" and he stopped abruptly, turned in his place to stare at my diction unflinchingly. 

"Ha ha, hilarious jewmega, now, what do you want?" I bit my lip, annoyed at the fact that he used that damn word in the middle of a place full of people, even though the word didn't even existed. 

"Kenny's coming with us, no kidding" he arched one of his eyebrows in disbelief. 

"Kahl, the last time you called him to 'join you', we stole a patrol car and ran over a dog, the last time I checked you were still a little fucked up about it" he cocked his head to the side "Just enough to not repeat it, at least no on the same fucking month" I took a deep breath. 

"It won't happen again." 

"What makes you think that?" I kept quiet looking for an answer. 

"It was our fault, we should have... stopped." 

"Yeah, but we wouldn't have ended up in that situation if the son of a bitch hadn't decided to take us to one of his crappy clubs." I rolled my eyes in disgust. 

"It's not gonna happen, all right? We'll just... we'll focus on our stuff and that's it." 

"That's it" he repeated tediously "Why the fuck do you want to take him?" 

"I don't know, maybe because I don't trust your fat ass? I'm really sorry, but I'm not gonna..." he let out a low mocking snort. 

"Don't you think you're flipping the roles a little bit?" 

"Bullshit" 

"Because the last time one of us fucked the other one was when you tried to fuck me" I grunted at the memory looking around, confirming that no one would have heard that. I got close enough so I didn't have to speak up. 

"I didn't try to fuck you, you fat fuck, not even your fucking mother would touch you with a stick." I took a breath. He rolled his eyes. 

"Yeah yeah, that's not what you said when you were drunk" his smile spread amusingly and a mental lag bathed my consciousness by his words... what the fuck had I said while drunk? He seemed to understand my confusion and put his thumb to his lips in some kind of provocative gesture "Can I try a little bit more, Cartman?" he said in a falsely lascivious tone and let out a soft laugh after he finished. 

"What the..." 

"That's it, play innocent. Is that what you're so afraid of? That you won't be able to resist my 'fat ass'?" I couldn't help but wrinkle my nose in deliberate disgust. 

"Kenny will go" I cut off his nonsense to once again regain his scowl. 

"No" 

"Yes, he'll go " 

"No" he crossed his arms in a stubborn gesture "Are you really ordering me?"

"Yes, is there a problem?" 

"Apart from the fact that you're an Omega?" I couldn't stop myself from showing anger on my face, the way he said that word was annoying as shit. 

"You need my help" a sly smile sculpted his lips. 

"That's right, but even if I keep your 'nature' as something of my exclusive knowledge, there are other things that have come from your behavior. Like when you tried to rape me, or the fact that I can calculate your next heat..." I ignored the second one, there were at least two months left until the next time of torture; although if I thought carefully about it... think carefully, as if I could do that with this fat fuck in front of me. 

"God, are you really gonna go through with this shit?" he nodded. 

"Bring Kenny with us, but in return everyone will know the true nature of the repressed bitch that you..." 

"Fine!" I said annoyed at this point, a few glances at us. He raised his eyebrows in surprise "Tell everyone if you want, anyway, who the hell would believe that the best student in high school wants to fuck a useless pig like you" and I said no more before I left. 

God, I wanted to kill him. I'd take him down, whether he woke up alpha or not... 


	6. Whore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you're enjoying the fanfic. It makes the translation work quite rewarding. I hope you like the next chapter, and until the next one.

"Come on dude, don't be mad" he said, leaning against the hood of the car, smoking a half-finished joint. He let the smoke flow through the cold air, forming white wisps of thick intermittent mist around him, not really interested in his actions, and probably not even in his own words. 

"Shut up," I muttered in annoyance, looking at the time on my cell phone. The fucking Jew wasn't coming. 

"Nope." 

"Why the fuck do you want to go anyway? I mean, it's Cherry Hills, it sucks for... people like you" he shook his cigarette butts, opaque sapphires fixed in the fire residue falling to die against the snow. 

"I don't know, I just felt like it" he took a second puff. God, this poor bastard exasperated me. 

"Are you serious?" 

"I won't screw up this time, don't worry" he let out a smile covered in irony as he uttered those words. The son of a bitch didn't even pretended to be sorry for last time. 

"Right, because the word of a poor fucker is definitely worth something" he looked at my face for the first time, watching me out of the corner of his eye, probably holding the desire of throwing the smoke in my face or something. I was sure he wanted to do it. 

"You're really still pissed off because I didn't stick around to watch your asses like I was your fucking babysitter or something?" 

"No" I answered almost immediately. He puffed, and apparently he could not hold back any longer because he threw the following rings of smoke into my face. I took a deep breath, looking for calm, finding nothing but the smell of burnt marijuana. 

"It looks like it" a smile covered his dry lips as he turned onto the road. A slender woman was crossing a traffic light nearby. His gaze was stuck on her, distant, empty... was he even looking at her? 

"Where were you?" 

"Doing stuff" he replied without touching the joint anymore, letting it burn out over time without really caring. 

"What kind of stuff?" I saw him shrugged, letting his eyes flee to the sky as soon as the woman disappeared behind a corner. 

"Adult stuff, a concept that doesn't fit a virginal head like yours" Virgin my balls. I don't know if he thought I was an idiot or if he was an idiot himself. 

"Don't give me your whore act now" a gentle laugh ran through the silent morning, as he extinguished the joint in his hands against the car. I frowned at that. 

"Act? how you dare to insult me that way" he yawned, to lazy to put some emotion on his own words, closing his eyes for a moment. 

"What were you doing coming out of the teachers' room that day?" and another almost lewd smile flowed down his lips, perhaps from the memory. 

"More adult stuff" 

"I'll keep pushing" and he opened his eyes to look for my gaze. 

"Oh come on, I told you, adult stuff, that's basically my life..." he shrugged his shoulders and let out an almost melancholy smile "... Adult stuff'" his words were tinged with a strange tone that I rarely heard in him. 

"What were you doing?" 

"You want the dirty details?" he bit his lip in amusement. 

"I want the truth" I enquired sick of his tedious smile. 

"What do you want me to say? It seems that a certain teacher's paradise is within reach of my tongue" he licked his lips in a subtle movement, suggesting whatever he had done. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. 

"Sure" 

"Oh, don't believe me if you don't want to, I don't give a shit" he took out a strange pack from his pocket, opened it to take out a pill and eat it, I watched him curiously to see how he started chewing then... it was gum. 

"I want the truth" he kept chewing, completely ignoring me.

"Kyle's taking his sweet time, huh?" he mumbled, trying to deflect the conversation. 

"You said you were arrested that night, why?" 

"Man, almost everything is answered with the same two words, 'adult stuff'." 

"You can't get arrested for whoring" he let out a soft laugh and I cursed myself, I was almost sure what he was about to say. 

"Ask your mother, she'll most likely say otherwise..." I clicked my tongue in frustration at this point. 

"Shut up, just shut up" he shrugged without hiding the remaining smile on his face.

"As you wish" 

"You are so infuriating." 

"Am I?" 

"Fuck you" I spit. He lifted his arm around my shoulders to bring me closer to him.

"With pleasure, for my best friend anything" 

"Agh" I pushed him away listening to him laugh in the process. 

"Are you still mad?" he asked once more after taking his distance. 

"Fuck you" it was quite complicated to get angry with him even if it seemed the opposite, the poor guy did not generate such hatred, it was more like... I wouldn't know, I guess you could say we were best friends because of it. 

"Yes, I thought so" he muttered humorously. "Look, who decided to finally fucking show up" I followed his gaze, the Jew coming with this expression of complete hatred to the whole world, bathing his brow, orbs and lips. 

"Hey" and he moved to the back of the car. "Can you open it? I need to get my... luggage in." 

"Please?" I sneered as I opened the driver's door ignoring his request. He just lifted his middle finger in my direction and put the bags through the rear window instead. Well, apparently someone had more sticks up his ass than usual. 

"This is going to be  _ so _ much fun" Kenny muttered with deliberate sarcasm moving to the other front seat.

* * *

I didn't know how many hours we had been in this shitty car, but what I was sure of, was that that cocksucking look Kahl had kept on him, was there since he arrived; and don't confuse me, it's not like his expression tends to be different, but damn it, looking at it every time I had to check the fucking mirror was getting on my fucking nerves. 

"Seriously Kahl, I don't know who the fuck stopped sticking his dick in your ass this morning, and it's not like I give a shit, but could you please stop looking at me like I'm the one who did it?" he grunted in annoyance at my insult, turning to the window next to him. 

"You wish, you fat fuck" he spat with utter contempt. 

"I wish what? I'm not the slut in a beta costume" he opened his lips briefly in disbelief, only to grunt and prepare his next insult. 

"Who the fuck are you talking about? Your mother?" My right hand left the wheel just to raise my middle finger in the direction of that two-leg rat.

"About your ass, you stupid jew." 

"Oh my God, will you guys shut the fuck up?!" Kenny yelled out of nowhere, putting his cell phone down; apparently his headphones weren't enough to quieten our yelling " You're not fucking ten years old!"

"You shut your mouth, you poor shit." 

"No, fuck you. And stop, so much crap from you two is filling my balls." 

"I'm not going to..." 

"Stop it, Cartman, we need gas anyway" I rolled my eyes in disgust, moving a little further to a convenient gas station. 

After we got off, Kenny basically ran to the station's mini-mart, I watched the tank sideways fill up, and the fucking Jew leaning against the rear hood kept sighing every once in a while. Jesus fucking Christ. 

"Is that stick up your ass pulling out sprouts or something or are you in your fuckin' days?" 

"shut it, asshole. The only thing I'm sure of is that you're a son of a bitch.If I could make a law of the universe, and declare it a statement of nature itself, it would be just that 'the South park fatass, is a real son of a..." 

"Are you gonna keep this up the whole day?" God, I wanted to hit him. 

"I just don't understand why the fuck I have to come" I let go of my breath. 

"I need you to see for yourself that..." 

"Cartman, I know what we're trying to do, in fact, I probably know more than you, I do know how to fucking read, after all" I slid my frustrated hand across my face. 

"Look, it's different. It's one thing to read shit, or hear someone else's testimony, or look at goddamn pamphlets about how fucked up everything is; it's another thing to see it for yourself. You're locked in your fucking bubble, protected from everything and everyone, Kenny watching your ass like you're a child or whatever; you have no fucking idea what awaits you if that nice silk curtain that covers you is pulled back" he watched me completely inert for a moment, then let go of a smile brimming with irony. 

"Your performance has improved over the years, you almost managed to make me believe that you felt empathy and all. Impressive" sarcasm shone through his tone "Let's be honest asshole, you only do this because you can't stand the idea of people superior to you, I mean, it's something we all knew since you were a kid, that you were a real piece of shit; but I guess the fact that that reality of yours has a name and is structured must have been a low blow for you, huh?" 

"Look..." 

"And even worse when Heidi turned out to be an alpha, God, that must have hurt  _ so  _ much" I took a deep breath, patience, I just needed a little patience... 

"Kahl, fuck you" that was the last thing I said before I got in the car and drove off. 

"Hey, wait..." and I walked out of there feeling my chest pounding in pure rage, pressing the accelerator pedal as hard as I could. 

The sound of the tires drifting soon from the bad starting position between those faggy gasoline cabins silenced my thoughts. 

I headed out to the highway to go alone. 

I didn't need anyone, I would do everything myself, fuck them all. 

I'd tell the whole fucking world he was an Omega and laugh in his fucking face when he became some fat, morbid Alpha's bitch and...

"Fucking Jew!" I shouted into the air changing tracks, only to find I was on the wrong one when I saw a car coming in front of me "Shit!" I hit the wheel furiously stopping a few miles ahead. 

It's true, I'm not a goddamn charitable soul looking to revolutionize an elitist system, my goals were not to save anybody's ass... but god, that jew was so goddamn annoying and... agh, why the fuck did he have to bring Heidi out? That was pretty low, even for his sneaky jewish standards. 

I took a deep breath... could I do it alone?

Maybe, but it was something I couldn't afford do wrong, and the possibility always existed. 

Even when my plans were flawless, the probability was latent. 

The interesting thing here is that he was probably an Omega abnormal, and from the special treatment they seemed to give them, it was more than obvious that they had to have something 'special'; and not in sexual terms, or primary, like almost everything that seemed to work in this system, no, more in political terms. 

It was a rare, very rare tool; dangerous; and, if I was right, it would make those latent probabilities of failure non-existent. 

He wasn't essential, and he would probably find a way to screw me over at some point like he always did; but I really didn't want to lose this time.

Was I making a mistake by... trusting? 

Yes.

No. 

God, I didn't... I didn't even know exactly why I brought him in. 

I needed him to wake up, to have something in him move because, despite his nature, he didn't really seem very interested in changing anything about it... maybe for the same reason no one else did. 

Everyone in their beta state was unable to contemplate reality at times, absorbed in their lives designed to be monotonous.

I just wanted to show him that this monotony was just a curtain, something like the matrix, but widespread, more open and blatant. 

I just wanted to see that annoying, rebellious Kyle back, I hadn't seen him in years, and that's all I needed right now.

My cell phone started vibrating, a call. 

I took a deep breath looking at the number, Kenny. 

I took it. 

"I'm in... I don't even know where the fuck I am, with a gas bill I'm not gonna use because I'm not in the fucking car, with Kyle yelling nothing less than fucking fat next to me, and no means of transportation around for no fucking idea how many miles. So, Cartman, give me one good fucking reason and I might not stick my boot up your ass the next time I see you!" 

"Take the bus or something, I'll go by myself" 

"You're fucking kidding me, right? We're in the middle of fucking nowhere, you fat fuck, how are we supposed to..." 

"Well, maybe the Jew should have thought of that before he opened his big stupid mouth." 

"Cartman!" 

"I'm sending you the address, I hope you get there safely" I declared with deliberate sarcasm hanging up immediately, starting the engine I hadn't turned off to begin with. 

I just had to push harder, maybe then the two-legged jewrat would do something about it. 

* * *

"God!" he shouted into the air justifiably, resisting the obvious impulse to smash his phone to the ground "Fucking asshole, that goddamn dickassface, chickenfucker donkeythongsucker!" he took a deep breath and then turned in my direction. "What the fuck did you say to him to get us thrown out in the middle of nowhere?! He's usually a dick, but this is just beyond me, like..." he grunted, sliding his hand along his face. 

"Well... I just said it was probably painful when Heidi turned out to be an Alpha" as I spoke my tone was lost in the distance, already predicting his prominent reaction. 

He raised one of his eyebrows in disbelief. 

"I see, it must have been fucked up too when Leslie manipulated you like a fucking puppet just because she was pretty, I'm still surprised that you claim that your brain was in optimal functioning at that time, because I'd say it moved a few organs down" I moaned in annoyance at the memory. 

"Don't take his fucking side!" 

"I'm not taking sides, you're both just as shitty!" He spread his arms out in the air emphasizing his point "We're not talking about Heidi in front of Cartman, Kyle. It's just common fucking sense!" and squatted in his position, burying his face in his hands "God, now how many dicks am I gonna have to suck to get to fucking Cherry Hill" 

"You're not going to..." he looked up, angry, swarming with opaque sapphires. 

"Oh, will you?" 

"No, nobody's going to suck anything!" and he laughed with derision, standing up once more. 

"That was a good one Kyle" he took a deep breath then, looking somewhere inside for patience, looking towards the road. 

The Colorado wind began to blow as a warning of the prominent sunset. 

That was bad. 

He turned in my direction 

"Come on" 

"Where?" he shrugged. 

"Somewhere else, Fuck cartman" I laughed underneath. 

"If it was that easy I would have done it already Ken" he rolled his eyes at the gas bill. 

"We're not his stupid puppets" and he started his way down the empty avenue. I followed him hesitantly taking one of the bags he had brought from the supermarket overflowing with junk food. 

"Well, we're Omegas... and he knows it, at least that I am..." he turned over his shoulder with a curious smile. 

"You underestimate your own kind" and he pulled out his phone. 

"It was nature that underestimated us" I muttered tediously as I watched him apparently begin to dial a number. 

I just followed in his footsteps, contemplating the long fields of complete nature around us, the odd lonely house in the snowy mountains, and a small town that could be seen in the distance, maybe an hour or two away... well, we were in the middle of nowhere in case it wasn't obvious enough. 

"Hey" started talking. I watched him carefully. "Come on, why do you think that?" he laughed softly, his tone somehow changing from the way he normally used it with us, a curious purr coming up from his already thick speech. 

It sounded quite... sexual. 

"Nah, I'm just kind of, you know, lost?" He laughed again after a few seconds "No, not like that" and step by step we walked away from the station "Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you?" 

Who the hell was he talking to? 

"Look, I need to get to Cherry Hills" he sighed "Nope, I'm not on drugs... A party?" he turned over his shoulder in my direction, flashing a satisfied smile "Yeah, sounds great... no, I'm not alone... nope, he's not that kind of guy" he winked in my direction and I rolled my eyes in tedium. 

This was bad, if we didn't get to that stupid place, Cartman's retarded ass would probably do something bad. 

"I'll send you the location on google maps, because I have no fucking idea where we are, so don't take too long" and after a quick goodbye he hung up. 

"Who was that?" he shrugged. 

"Nobody" 

"Well, it didn't sound like nobody" and he walked to the side of the road without looking away from his cell phone. The road was so empty that we might as well keep walking all the way downtown to the next town, and not run into a single car on the way. 

He began to run towards the vast pasture of that stupid field, throwing himself against it in one effusive movement. I quietly detailed him. 

"What the hell are you doing?" he rolled over, staring at the sky; his lips spread out in a big smile. 

"Waiting" I sighed as I sat beside him. 

"I really don't understand you at all sometimes" he laughed softly. 

"What do you think it means to be an 'omega'?" he asked out of the blue after a moment of silence, taking out his cell phone to start playing some music. 

I lay down beside him, lightly wet grass caressing the back of my neck, making my shoulders tense until I got used to the feeling. 

I took a package of doritos out of that bag. 

"I don't know" he made a soft appreciation sound in response. I opened the bag leaving it between the two of us, he took a few "I hope more than being a whore, because that's all I'm seeing so far" Kenny sighed putting them in his mouth in rough movements. 

"What's wrong with that?" He didn't even bother to ram the doritos down his throat before he spoke. I looked at him in disbelief at the stupid question. 

"To be used only for sexual purposes in exchange for benefits perhaps no more valuable than your own dignity? I don't really know," he let out a gentle laugh at the deliberate sarcasm in my voice, then turned in my direction. 

"And tell me, what's so damn fun about dignity?" 

"It's not about being fun, it's about feeling good about yourself and your environment, your decisions, your value as a person, your..." 

"And how can something like sucking a dick or openly accepting a dick up your ass, affect your 'value as a person'?" 

"It doesn't affect it as such, it only makes it moot; if you as a person reduce yourself to the object of someone else's use, how do you expect..." 

"Oh, don't give me that crap, Kyle. I don't give a shit if others decide to look at me from the pedestal they've made from the sticks they pull out of their asses every day as a trophy for upholding their standards of 'human value' or whatever. I'm my fucking owner, and if nature decided to give me implements to take advantage of the basest instincts of those assholes who think they're in control, then why not use them?" I sighed, his point was... interesting, but not correct. 

"You're justifying power relationships that shouldn't exist Ken, just because you think you're in control, just because you're getting something in return for something they want doesn't mean you're really in control. They're using you," he snorted, turning his body to face me. 

"I'll show you" and an almost lewd smile bathed his face "Do you really think that as Omegas we are reduced to breeding grounds with a nice smell?" he nodded, answering himself "We are designed by nature itself to be sexually attractive to anyone who has the need to reproduce; and look around you Kyle, even though we are supposed to have left our more tribal state behind, and learned to 'hide' our lower nature, sex is still one of the easiest and most malleable means of manipulating entire generations... we are still animals, sophisticated, but still wild" and he sat down, turning towards the road "You have no idea..." he turned to me, a determined, almost triumphant look on his face "How easy it is to move people with the right tools; voice, movements, certain words, scent, techniques somehow inherent in our nature" 

I didn't know how to respond to that, I hadn't even tried to see it from that perspective. 

"There's more to exploit in our body; our essence is just... one more help, like a drug to almost systematically generate endorphins in anyone close enough to us; because we are a walking addiction, an illegal drug, only accessible to elites with enough money" he smiled "But I guess it's too embarrassing, you know, to be the forbidden fruit already bitten by any sinner in turn..." and shrugged "... But that's only part of it, we're so much more than a smell Kyle, we're so much more than breeders; we're the lowest and dirtiest desire of every person in this world, come true" and he leaned in my direction, his tone dropping once more, this almost hypnotic purr running through him "Tell me, if that's not control, then what is?" 

His cell phone rang, then he turned to answer by detailing the name... 

So according to him, we had some degree of control, not a very... conventional one of course; and if anyone could use this supposedly disadvantageous state to his advantage, it was most likely him. 

"Great" I heard him say as he stood up "Tomorrow?... come on, we're not going to be at it all fucking night..." I stood up taking the bag with me " Great" he took a soda from the pile of junk food he had bought, smiling in my direction in appreciation. The sound of an engine began to resonate in the distance amidst the murmur of the prominent night wind. 

He hung up. He opened the soda by looking in the direction of the sound. 

"We will arrive at Cherry Hills tomorrow morning" he said, and then took a sip of the soda. 

"Cartman will be mad" the car was coming. 

"Fuck Cartman, he really needs it, like, for real" 

"Where are we supposed to spend the night?" he looked at me sideways, forming a curious smile.

"Don't worry about that, I don't think you will be getting any sleep any time soon anyway" and the figure of a black car appeared on the horizon, really far away; easy to see like everything else lately. 

"Who is it?" he sighed, taking another sip. 

"Let's just say... I'm too good at what I do; that, and the fact that I'm nobody's property seems... to attract a few alpha's, you know, enervate their possessive instincts and shit," he winked in my direction. Then he turned to the car. "Quick and easy, see?" he said, taking another sip. 

And I just kept quiet... where had he come to meet these kind of people, it's not like they were within reach of the fucking South Park red light district, or high school... or the places we frequented. 

He said only one or two people knew about his condition; but something was telling me that not everything that came out of his mouth was true, nor Cartman's, was the same thing with Stan? God, what the hell had happened to us in the last few years? At what point did we each just... find its own pervert and racist circles of friends? 

And it was obvious he didn't want to answer my questions, just running away with his stupid smile and smartass comments or whatever. It could get so frustrating trying to reason with him sometimes.

Should I be worried about that? 

"Kenny." 

"Yes?" I stared at him silently for a few seconds. 

"You said it; we are more than this" I pointed with my head to the still distant car; he raised one of his eyebrows in interrogation "You are more than this, more than an omega, or a whore; you are a human being... okay? And a human being is more than a piece of meat to be groped and..." I sighed in disgust knowing that not everything was as pink as he made it out to be "You are my friend, and I know, I know how much you can do and be, yes?” 

"Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do; but I don't need a Tumblr speech to know what I'm capable of; I'm fine Kyle, everything's fine" and he crushed the empty can in his hands. 

"You're so infuriating" I muttered more to myself. 

"Twice in one day, I guess it must be true" he said and I didn't understand, I just ignored him as the car finally stopped in front of us. 

This would be a really long night. 


	7. Mark

"This is too convenient..." I let go when I saw the car parked in front of us "No no no. There is convenient, then there's the timely defrosting of Tirion Vadin to kill Arthas, and then there's this shit" I said not hiding my nervousness, he laughed next to me "It didn't take more than half an hour... I don't think I have enough kidneys for this Kenny" 

"Chill dude; nothing bad will happen" and he walked forward carefree, opening the back door to enter confidently, I followed him reluctantly. 

"If I wake up tomorrow morning, in a bathtub full of ice, without an organ, and with a note pointing out my stupidity..." he sighed. 

"You said it, you don't have enough kidneys for that" I sat next to him, closing up behind me. 

"Well, my liver's marketable, I mean..."

"Okay, it's not like we're gonna get eaten or anything... I mean, not you at least" he didn't bother to hide the lasciviousness in his tone. 

And the car started; a dark glass made it impossible to see the driver, and that only fueled my nervousness. 

"How did it get here so quickly?" it turned on the road despite the absence of a return, seeking to go back the way it had come. 

"We're not going very far, so it's not coming from very far..." 

"How did you know someone who lived so conveniently close..."

"Kyle, I know someone who wants to fuck me in every fucking town around Denver or South Park, I spend more time with people with... my same needs, than I do with you guys." 

"Really?" I looked at him in surprise at that statement; but now that I thought about it. 

"I don't even sleep at home more than one day a week”

"How do you know that kind of..." 

"You have a lot of questions, huh? Everybody seems to have a lot of questions about my life lately" he sighed. "Apparently no one around here has ever thought that maybe I don't care to answer them" 

"I don't know if you're trying to evade my questions nicely or you're just being an asshole," he laughed softly. 

"A little of both" 

* * *

I detailed my reflection in the large mirror still somewhat fogged by the steam from the recent shower. I peeked at my cell phone; it was about seven o'clock and not a sign of that pair of fags. 

I let go a long, deep sigh running my hand down my face in exasperation. 

Come on, it was the jewmega’s fault; but how old was I to react like that. Ten? Nah, whatever, fuck’em. 

I smiled contentedly after reconciling my conscience, nice and easy... like Kenny. I finished fixing my hair and adjusting my tie, winking at that glorious man in the mirror. Perfect. 

And I left the bathroom to go into the room, checking my cell phone in the process. 

I was having dinner with these people at seven thirty in the hotel restaurant; I wasn't a hundred percent sure why they had called me here, but something told me it would be boring as hell. 

I sat on the bed, annoyed by the absence of messages... 

Well, I guess there was nothing to lose by writing to that bitch Kenny. 

"Where the fuck are you?" I typed... and the son of a bitch left me in seen. I was about to throw my cell phone on the bed when the answer came. 

A picture? But there wasn't much, just plain black outlines amidst multicolored lights, shadows of a crowd... 

" _ Party _ " he wrote after it, or so I thought it was among a thousand emoticons and meaningless letters, all in one word. 

"Wow, Ken, you've really outdone yourself" I wrote back, not quite believing that. 

How could they end up at a party in the middle of nowhere? We weren't in college, or on fucking American pie or... 

And he sent another picture.

Kyle in the middle of a crowd in the same clothes as this afternoon, drinking from a tube into a beer barrel, being cheered on by a small group of people. And the anger that I thought was already dispersed at this point, began to play out once again in my chest. 

"Don't fuck with me" I wrote. 

" _ Never _ " he replied with the same stroke-prone quality of writing, just before sending a picture of him winking at the camera " _ We will arise trombone in the orgy, good fight _ " 

God. 

I held back the urge to smash the damn cell phone into the wall, just putting it aside to... I don't know; I didn't even know whether to get angry or not. 

Were they stupid? Didn't they realise I could make their lives a bitch just by calling the phone number on a fucking leaflet? 

I groaned in frustration, throwing myself on the bed in the process... 

God, Kenny was turning Kahl into one of those... omegas whores... should I be worried? Even though it's not like I really cared, I just couldn't imagine the Jew in such a situation. It was just too weird. 

I sighed as I stood, looking at a mountain of documents that Garrison had forced me to bring. Mostly proofs of my childish malice. What was the fucker up to? 

Well, I' d just play along, if I saw something move in a way that wasn't very conducive to my interests then... I don't know, I'd do something, I guess. 

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, taking a deep breath, trying to remember every goddamn teaching to the letter throughout this torturous week. This might be complicated, or might not be, but I suppose it was a good time to test the worth of the jewmega. 

I turned once more to that little balcony. This huge window of thick glass overlooked the southeastern part of Denver, even from here you could see the village of Cherry Hills, mansions stretching out in the distance in isolated light formations, like islands dancing in the dark, really expensive islands. 

The commercial district seemed congested at this hour, and the distant but not too saturated sound of urbanization reached the place somewhat drowned out. 

I took one last deep breath before taking the files and standing up, walking towards the dark mahogany door, and crossing the threshold into a bright, long corridor. And I headed for the elevator, in the direction of one of the top floors where I understood the restaurant was. It didn't seem very crowded this time of year, I guess that was better. 

On the next floor someone else got into the elevator... it was highlighting their class in full view. 

An omega.

Some of his kind looked like canvases overflowing with color... not necessarily good. Their Alphas modified them at will, as if they were little dolls with changeable parts, adding something here, taking something out there. I could not identify in the scale of morality how bad that was; but as we had advanced, matters of that kind had normalized to a really fast point, so I doubted that anyone would be shocked to see someone with a good number of visible surgeries on his face and body, piercings, tattoos in widely visible areas, expansions, tongues with multiple incisions, genital mutilation... 

Anyway, it wasn't that bad, not under a consent form. But the Omegas lacked that free will as soon as they fell into the hands of the wrong Alpha, and this character next to me was a clear example. 

I just ignored him, taking out my cell phone to check out stupidities as I reached the desired floor. I looked at him sideways, his mark on his neck exposed as a reminder that he was just an object of an alpha's use. 

I wasn't a hundred percent sure how these things worked, but I understood that you could only make this kind of connection with no more than one at a time, and eradicating it could lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety and... well, nothing that drugs in the modern age couldn't fix.

Someone would think that by this point, where there had been a centuries-old talk about the predominance of reason over nature, we would have left behind this alpha-omega system, but hey, it worked in the current system, so here we were, right?

I let go relieved air as soon as the doors opened, but apparently he was getting off on the same floor as me. 

Soon I found myself in front of the hall or whatever that room was called before the entrance to the restaurant.The omega continued on its way, ignoring the maitre and moving inwards, gaining the occasional glimpse of people around him. 

"Cartman" I turned to the one who seemed to be waiting for me. I sighed in exhaustion. 

And I thought I could get rid of this guy for a while. 

"Garrison" He clicked his tongue. 

"Yeah, I'm not happy to see you either" he stretched out his hand in my direction, checking the time on his Rolex with the other. 

"What?" I asked pissed off looking at his palm extended in my direction. He sighed in annoyance looking up at me. 

"The papers I asked you to bring" 

"What are they for?" He put his hand down when he saw I wouldn't give them to him. 

"There's a big alpha in there looking out for his interests, he's not going to let a simple beta move through his territory without an overview of whoever that beta is" I shot an irritated look at him. 

"You look like you're talking about simple animals" a smile overflowing with derision painted his synthetic teeth. 

"Because that's what we are" and shaved the papers from my hand to start walking inwards, just like the omega from a while ago.I followed him to the farthest corner of the damn restaurant, into small meeting rooms I suppose. 

The door was opened by a waitress, I followed the old man inside and almost as soon as I crossed the threshold this aroma of alpha and omega saturated me. It was an unpleasant mixture in its own nature... god, it was like walking into a fucking public toilet, you know where the fuck those smells come from, and that, among other factors, is what makes them so fucking disgusting. 

And there was the omega, kneeling next to its respective alpha. Just another boring businessman, they all looked the same, the only thing that changed according to me was the purpose of their smile. 

Garrison handed him the folder, and after this strange air of sickly solemnity in the place, we managed to sit down while the cocksucker checked the documents in the folder. 

"He sold nearly two hundred thousand copies of a record in a few days; managed to resurrect an amusement park from the ashes of the industry, impressive; then created a sports club, but lost the rights to EA Sports..." he snorted at the fact "Don't worry kid, you're not the first" I sighed in response, I didn't even remember that. 

After reading some more he raised his eyes, looked for mine. 

"Are you sure you're a beta? They don't look like accomplishments at the hands of an average kid" I shrugged. 

I'd gladly let him kiss my ass to confirm. 

"I am" I said. He quietly detailed me for a few seconds, then reread the documents with quick eyes. 

My gaze went between this guy and his omega, who kept staring straight ahead of him. Did that thing blink or... he turned to me, and narrowed his gaze threateningly. I turned my gaze to its owner. 

"What do you think about the economic position of this... group?" I took a breath trying to remember Kyle’s words, not too difficult, with the shitty face he had, and that stink that was coming out of his room, there was no other option but to be distracted by his words. 

Did that make sense? 

"It's right, we need a change after all; crises are never solved by keeping the same system, and I think we've seen that before, even before the crisis of the thirties, then when Keynes' welfare state got out of hand in the eighties, and now where our economy is so volatile that if financial assets fall, more than one industry will also fall with them. Globalization and free trade may have served well before two thousand eight, but the crisis is still not solved, and if the system is not upgraded to a more protectionist and closed one, to strengthen domestic industry and reduce its volatility, I do not think we can..."

"Good good, you speak well, and the bullshit you throw away is convincing" he smiled somehow satisfied "I like it" 

Bullshit? 

He stood up. 

"Tomorrow's the meeting, I just wanted to check that I wouldn't bring, you know, unnecessary characters into that place" and he waved his omega to stand behind him. "See you tomorrow. My pleasure, Eric" and left the room after an exchange of words with Garrison, who followed him. 

And where was my dinner? Goddamn it.

* * *

God, for a split second I felt like the damn eleven meters of small intestine I probably had in my gut was coming out of my damn mouth. 

It all spilled out from inside me in painful abdominal spasms. 

Vomiting was definitely one of those horrible experiences on the outside as well as the inside. 

I wiped my lip roughly moving away from the toilet, the bathroom was already a mess in itself. The mirror was overflowing with swearwords written in slutty red and bitchy pink lipstick. The tub was full of water, rolls of toilet paper were floating in the dirty liquid that gave off this strong mixture of alcohol and soap... not to mention the toilet, even worse with my recent deployment. 

I moaned exhausted leaning against the white tiles... this was definitely not the highest point in my life, but as I was going, most likely not the lowest either. Throwing up in a goddamn bathroom in the middle of nowhere after drinking like an idiot from a barrel of beer despite the danger of losing my precious liver... 

Well, better than being with that asshole, it certainly was. 

I slid along the wall until I could feel the cold floor under me, images of the last few hours running a bit fuzzy between alcohol and flashing lights. 

Alphas and omegas in a display of pure savagery. Although they were mostly betas but... I could smell at least one omega and two alphas in the place... worse, witnessing their exchanges of... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 

God, I hated this. With every day that went by, I got closer to reality, and I couldn't help but wonder how far I could run... and I had to run, I was nothing after all, a rip-off from the goddamn reproductive chain, if such a thing existed. Only a doll that would be taken to who the fuck knows where at the right time, catalogued and distributed as merchandise. 

The night before I had found that code of treatment for the omega. While there were limits, rules, there were little words that in the right light implied much more than they seemed. Even though the code was supposed to call for dignified treatment; in a tax court, in the real world, between the lines, it only sought to keep the omega alive under minimal conditions. 

It was terrifying.

I huddled in my place, bringing my knees up to my chest, hiding my face in my arms. 

Something fell to the ground because of my position, my phone had slipped out of my pocket. I took it to see a missed call from the fatass... 

I'm sure the jerk called by mistake. His pride would never allow him to commit such a despicable act as calling the Jew in the middle of one of his stupid tantrums. 

But I was a mature person, and... I had at least a few degrees... or enough degrees of alcohol in my blood to speak with the subtlety of our former president. 

So... I called him. Why? because it was 3:00 in the morning, my stomach was emptier than my desire to live, and I had more alcohol in my blood than functional brain cells in my... in me. Yeah. 

It rang a couple of times. He didn't respond. 

Fucking fatso.

I dialed a second time. 

Nothing. 

I was about to give up when the absence of a ringing bell caught my attention. 

"Look, you fucker, you keep ringing and..." he yawned "...I don't know. Do you think that organization that controls the flow of omegas is attending at..." 

Flow of omegas. The fuck did that meant. 

"Three o'clock, three o'clock I think... but the organization that controls the flow of fatsos doesn't attend after eight o'clock so... I doubt the one for omegas does." 

"Oh my God Kahl... are you drunk? who do you think I am, your damn ex?" I laughed at his words. 

"I'm starting to think the only way to... put up with you is to get drunk, my IQ drops to your level or something... I think" 

"Fuck you" and he hung up. I laughed while putting my cell phone away after that. And my laugh went out until it left behind no more than this really bitter feeling in my chest. 

As I grew up I had seen a thousand and one animations and short films, heard a thousand and one songs, read a thousand and one books about it; about this systematic behaviour of crowds acting like sheep, without looking up, without changing their cycle as if this evolutionary process that had led us to what we were had become stuck in an eight-hour schedule, in a cubicle, in an office building, in a boring grey area of the city... 

Betas, so insipid and unconsciously conditioned not to see further than their nature as small, replaceable gears allowed, and even if they did, what difference did it make if they did nothing about it? 

The system was too big, with no defined limits, a thousand and one ideologies intermingled in such a huge scheme, where it became diffuse what was really part of our critical being, and what was part of this verbiage of the context that raised us, perhaps being both identical reproductions... it was so sick in its own way. 

Knowledge was the only remedy for such an evil, and yet we were so intoxicated by so many lies that it was almost impossible to break through them in time... before we simply resigned ourselves. 

Like being shackled from birth, we were ignorant of them until we finally contemplated them, but it took so long to do so, to realize their existence, that by the time the answer was there, the comfort they offered was much more comfortable than the freedom that a life without a master behind the shackles provided.

We were animals at the end of the day, we would rather be in chains if we were provided with the conditions necessary to carry out this empty conception of life, than let go of the shackles and look at what it took to disobeyed the master in power. 

Not survival, that was more than certain. 

Just instincts... simple instincts.

What was I thinking... oh, yeah. 

Then there were the omegas.

I laughed my head off at the thought. 

My cell phone vibrated. 

I picked it up feeling my chest shrink at the voice message. 

" _ Where are you? We have to get out of here. _ "

"Why?" I talked back as best I could, something difficult as I felt I was about to decorate my phone screen with today's lunch... or yesterday's. 

" _ Nothing important, where? _ " 

"In the bathroom" 

" _ You know there's like a thousand fucking toilets in this fucking house, right? _ " 

"In the... in the..." 

" _ What floor? _ " 

" Fourth?"

" _ There's no fourth... Focus Kyle, you can do it _ " 

"Third then" or so I thought. 

" _ Great, I’m proud of you _ " 

I closed my eyes trying to calm the damn dizziness, I knew that as soon as I stood up my whole world would fall in front of me. That didn't make sense. What the hell was I thinking? 

The door opened then. 

"Go fuck somewhere else, there's like a thousand fucking baths..." one arm reaching underneath me stopped my words. 

"Do you want us to find a more comfortable place for that? The bathroom's never been my favourite" I smiled almost instinctively as I recognised the tone, this smell of Alpha was all over his body, like a warning, a sign of belonging. 

"I thought this air of decay, vomit and bad life choices turned you on," I spoke, leaning on it to stand up. And yeah, the whole damn place seemed to be losing its meaning as my head spun around a thousand times. 

"Vomit? Who the hell gets turned on by that?" he talked amusingly as we came out of the bathroom.

"Cartman's mom for sure" I joked on no real basis, but whenever it came to weird fetish or slutty issues, she was the default choice for an easy joke. 

After pushing a thousand and one people we finally made it out to what looked like the garden... or the parking lot? I couldn't really tell. 

"Look what I got" he talked walking away long enough to get something out of his pocket. He waved a couple of keys in front of my face. "Come..." he said, nodding his head, and I caught a glimpse of a strange mark on his neck... of course, something distinctive among the pile of... hickeys. Was he banging octopuses or what the heck? 

I kept leaning on a couple of cars... ow, it was the parking lot. Of course it was the fucking parking lot. 

He pulled up next to a motorcycle, trying to fit the key. His smile grew satisfied when he saw it worked. He climbed up and gave me another one of these signals with his head. 

"Where's my helmet?" he laughed softly. 

"Just get on, dude" I frowned in annoyance. "Please?" I rolled my eyes back to him. 

I climbed up to the back with the grace of a seal in heat, between the loud music in the background and his laughter. 

"Shit" I murmured in exhaustion, leaning against his back. "You could have helped me." 

"Nah" and he started the engine. " Grab on" I circled his abdomen as he started, slow. He took a helmet from a nearby bike as if it were his own and passed it to me while increasing the speed. 

Soon he was on the road. 

"Lucky they lent you a bike" I talked with the helmet in place. He wasn't wearing anything, but in my state of mild unconsciousness I really didn't care. 

"Lent?" I laughed against his back at the insinuation "I took the keys from this asshole who threw up after singing like an idiot at the karaoke" 

"The one who touched the DJ's ass?" 

"That one" said victorious, the guy was a real prick, so... 

Maybe I didn't have much of a right to say anything, we had stolen that patrol not long ago.I guess we were gradually returning to our times of complete childish absurdity. Was that bad? Although who cares, we were Omegas using odorless pills after all, we were like… like criminals and shit. Yeah, fuck the system. 

The road was completely empty, only lonely posts every few meters let us see a little further between boring white lights, or these directional signs of that tedious yellow ... green ... could not say. 

"I thought we'd stay till morning" I murmured against the bottom of the helmet, it was a bit too big for me. 

"Change of plans" I breathed deeply, this smell of nicotine and alcohol... both male and female perfumes, all opaque under the essence of two alphas, one stronger than the other, female. 

"Does it have anything to do with that mark on your neck? I don't remember you having it when we were in the car." 

"Along with the other twenty." 

"It's different" 

Silence. 

"She marked you" I'd only read about it briefly, not my favorite part of the whole thing, a string within reach of any Alpha... 

What a fascinating system, huh? 

"She did it while my guard was down, the fucking bitch"

"I thought you were in control," I teased humorously. 

"It's just setbacks, it's not the first time I've been stuck with that shit." 

"You talk about it like it's a venereal disease or something. 

"It's pretty much the same, yeah" we laugh at that. 

"What will you do?" 

"I hope she claims some other omega or whatever, I hope it doesn't take too long, because this crap is really lame." 

"What does it mean to have one?" 

"Not much if you stay away and if the bond was something... as furtive and meaningless as ours" I took a deep breath at the memory of the article I had read about it. This idea of a red thread of destiny designed by nature itself was idealized, a red thread available in the fangs of the alpha in power. It was already said at some point, all that is sacred is profane. What a way to make the nihilism inherent in our nature as humans so prominent. It was funny, gratifying one might even say, how something probably considered sacred in more than one culture throughout history, came down to that. It felt like we weren't so tied down after all, like a little slant of freedom in the deepest recess of Alcatraz Island itself or whatever. 

I hugged him tighter thankfully once more, closing my eyes against the already warm fabric at this point while the wind brushed against us in constant gusts, only the sound of the engine seemed to pierce the asphalt, just the two of us probably miles away. 

Maybe I was exaggerating. 

"Only a year and a half... probably less if the fat fuck decides to talk" I muttered. 

"Huh?" 

"Time for freedom. He'll wake up soon and everything will go to hell, I'm more than sure" 

"Are you still going on about him being an alpha?" 

"I could smell it." 

"Fine fine... anyway the probability of him waking up this late is... " 

"I woke up late" 

"Yep, I still think you're a mistake of nature." 

"Hey!" he laughed softly. 

"In a good way." 

"What Good Way? Asshole" I lowered the little glass or plastic or whatever this helmet window was, turning into the complete darkness of the mountains around us, leaving his abdomen to put my hands on the edges of the back seat, then I circled him again because I didn't trust my sense of balance right now. 

* * *

We knocked on the hotel door, they had looked at us like fucking freaks at the reception, and I didn't blame them, between the smell of vomit, alcohol and alpha in heat, and the disarranged clothes, we probably did look like one. 

"Are you sure this is it?" I asked, my stomach feeling churning once more. 

"It's the eight hundred and eight, just round numbers, like the fatso. I remember thinking about that when I read it; so this has to be it" I laughed at the comment, watching a shadow move behind the boring wood. 

It opened up, and as soon as I saw Cartman I almost took him out of the way to run to the bathroom, or wherever I thought it was, I was wrong at least three times. 

I knelt down in front of the toilet like I did a few hours ago and let what little life I had left flow out. This was already becoming routine, and something told me that this was probably going to be my favorite part of the day. 

I came out of the bathroom after gargling with water and a mouthwash that was there, probably from Cartman, but whatever, I felt extraordinarily dirty by this point. 

"I hate you guys so much" I heard Cartman say as I walked into the room, I needed my luggage, but since the county pig took it… 

"Aw, I hate you too, you cocksucker" Ken spoke in a falsely affectionate tone "But you throw us out in the middle of nowhere again, and I'll kick you so hard in the balls, you'll have gonads instead of tonsils" 

"Pfft, try it, street slut."

"Gladly, you moth…" 

"Hey hey hey" I went over to them "I just wanted to tell you, asshole, you're a piece of shit" he let go of a dumb smile, the kind that makes me sick to the core, yeah, that kind. 

"Says the one who looks like actual shit" I clicked my tongue in tedium. 

"See, that's why nobody likes you Cartman, you don't know how to apologize for being what you are" Kenny backed me up. I smiled in agreement. "Anyway, I need to move my legs, driving for three hours in a row isn't good for this baby" he said pointing to his ass, right before he left the place. Apparently he had a thing about leaving us alone. 

"Where's my luggage?" I had a few more insults in the trunk, but I was really exhausted now, a shower was the only thing processable in my near-dead brain. 

"Probably in the dumpster, where it belongs" I looked at him with a ruffled brow, he let out a loud sigh "Or in your ass..." 

"Cartman" 

"By the bed." 

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" I said loud enough. 

"More than you know, I have too many jokes ready for you, at least half of them related to your bitch of a mother" I looked over my shoulder when I saw that he had entered the room as well. 

"What a coincidence, the exact same thing is happening to me" and I turned my attention to the case. I took a change of clothes and started my way to the bathroom, he sat down on his bed, it was intact, papers and documents were lying along the lines "What's that?" he lowered his gaze to silently detail the scattered sheets "I'm your... assistant or something, remember? You should tell me and... like, yeah, just tell me" and he turned to me. 

"Yesterday I saw this omega..." he cleared his throat "He was in the elevator with me, and... he was marked and... he was clearly a man, but he had all these... I don't know, modifications? He had breasts, and you could see several surgeries on his face and structure. And if that's what was seen on top..." 

"What's the point?" 

"The Omegas don't have the freedom to make those kinds of changes if they want to, so it probably wasn't necessarily his will” 

"Then his alpha did..." 

"It's like you want this suit so badly, but it's only in one size, so you decide to, you know, cut a little here, add a little there" today my stomach was churning more than usual, and this asshole wasn't helping much. 

"What does that have to do with those documents?" 

"We're going to a 'meeting' tonight with the alpha of that omega. The documents are like, I don't know, probably some kind of resume, I had to present it to him" 

"I thought you'd already been there for a while" 

"I do, but as this group or whatever it is has grown, it has attracted the interest of particularly... important people. All this requires funding and influence, nothing is free Kahl" I kept silent. 

Yep, definitely kneeling in front of the toilet would be the most entertaining thing of the day. 

"I don't understand why you brought me here yet," he flashed this soft smile. 

"Believe me, yesterday I was looking like crazy for a reason not to call those government pimps and turn you in"

"Even more more?" he bit his lip in amusement. Then stood up. 

"I have an idea" and he moved in my direction, stopped less than a step away "You said it in one of our boring sessions. This matter of power relations between alphas, the possible differences of political and economic opinions that could imply a disagreement big enough to... I don't know, bring down a system?" I narrowed my eyes reticently. 

"What do you want specifically?" 

"Let's do it tonight" his smile grew with this almost childlike joy at the idea. 

"I beg your fucking pardon?" 

"Let's look into their interests, see what points may come into conflict, then let's subtly expose these points in the right conversations, and see if that produces any kind of damage. They're alphas after all, aren't they, mere animals with delusions of grandeur sponsored by nature itself?" God, yesterday's anger must have killed a few neurons on his fat brain. 

"I don't know if it's not obvious, but you'd be screwing up a bit the group you want to grow up with" he shrugged, rolling his eyes in tedium. 

"Whatever Kahl, they'll work it out, they've invested too much money to let simple misplaced conversations ruin their future income" 

"And tonight they plan to invest more, and those conversations won't be much help..." 

"I just want to see if it works, that's all. An innocent little experiment" he buried his obnoxious fingers in my chin as if to force me to look at him "Just do what I say omega" which was unnecessary because of the similarity of heights, but he's always been a drama queen "Now go take a shower, you smell like Kenny" and pushed me away in disgust "You're already starting to turn into a whore, and I thought that shit wasn't contagious" 

"You say that word a lot lately,  _ whore.  _ You know we're not all like your mother, right? " he looked at me with tediousness.

"I can already imagine you, walking around in this permanent heat, telling every idiot who passes by how 'nice' it smells just before you open your legs..."

"Is there a problem if I do?" he snorted at the air. 

"No, I just expected more from you." 

"Too bad, because last night was really fun, the alphas at the party smelled really good" I said loud enough just before I started my way to the bathroom "Better than you, beta" I talked my way out of the room, hearing a distant growl of disgust from him.

"Fuck you" I let out a muffled laugh as I reached the bathroom. I entered closing behind me, letting go a long sigh of calm to start removing all this weight made clothes from my shoulders. 

I really needed a shower. 

* * *

I watched him disappear around the corner and my smile blossomed in excitement. 

I turned to his luggage, he had this little combination lock and everything, but the moron left it open. 

God, it was so damn easy. 

I moved towards it and started looking through the inside pockets, I hadn't been able to find them in the outside pockets the night before so... 

I bit my lip in victory by touching the small plastic cylinder, I extracted it while savoring my prominent plan. I returned everything to its place, the sound of the shower still sounded so it wouldn't come out soon. 

I lifted the pill bottle up to my face, there were more than last time, surely Ken would have given him more. 

I put them in my pocket and stood up to leave the room. 

This would be the perfect opportunity to see what an abnormal omega was capable of, after all, even if he had taken one recently, by being surrounded by alphas, his hormone release would be triggered. 

With any luck the last pill he had taken would fall short.

It would just be a little experiment.


	8. Consequences

His gaze was fixed on his cell phone, intercalating between this stupid video of how to tie the knot in his tie and his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, finding himself with that mental retardation typical of him concentrated in his clumsy fingers. He missed stupidly every time. 

I leaned against the door frame to watch the scene in silence, you don't see things like this every day, a Jewish imbecile in his natural state of imbecility or something like that. 

His gaze collided with mine in the reflection of the mirror, almost immediately his concentrated expression was deformed by this frown that seemed to be made for my exclusive use. Yes, this 'smells like shit here' face seemed to be only used on me lately. 

I smiled in feigned empathy. 

"Do you need hel..." 

"Cartman, what if you go to the grocery store, buy a fucking cucumber, and shove it up your ass? You'll probably still be smiling like an asshole after that" he spoke without stopping, his frustration at my presence made him fail almost immediately. I let out a gentle chuckle at his prominent annoyance. 

"Nah, I don't have any condoms or lube so..." he raised one of his eyebrows in interrogation "I'm kidding" he snorted at the air. 

"Are you sure?" I let go a long sigh, going in his direction, fascinated by the tension that formed in his back for every step I took towards him. With each passing day he seemed more aware of my closeness, it was interesting, hilarious at least. 

"Come" I took his shoulder to force him to turn in my direction. He struggled for a second before giving in with this spoiled child's face. He lowered his hands resignedly, turning to nothing in particular. 

I took both sides of the tie to begin tying the knot. 

The thing is, if I acted like a son of a bitch, treatment that he of course deserved until his expected death, he might become suspicious. 

"You're planning something, aren't you?" 

Shit. 

"Never" I talked my way through my moves. He turned to the reflection, his gaze fixed on my hands. 

"You don't know how much I'd like to trust you, but your shitty tantrums tend to last longer... unless something good happens, and that something good almost always means something bad for me" and his look then reached for mine, I reciprocated by finishing that stupid knot "I'll walk into a cave teeming with wolves Cartman, for you... do you understand that?" he spoke surprisingly calmly for the mood a few seconds ago. 

I understood perfectly, which is precisely why I had to try. He was an abnormal, he shouldn't be so easy to bend or... use. He wasn't just an omega. Right? 

"Look..." I took a deep breath in search of some kind of magic word or something... God, I hated it when I had to get half queer "... You're like... the smartest guy I've ever met, yeah?" he tilted his head slightly confused. 

"You're starting to scare me, fatso." 

"Listen, you fuck. If by some chance... something, I don't know, bad or... unlikely happened..." 

"Unlikely? What the fuck do you mean unlik..." I put my hands on his shoulders. 

"Shut up or I'll take that little knot in your fucking tie and shove it down your fucking throat all the way, okay? I'm trying to act like a halfway decent human being here, and you're making it fucking hard for me..." he frowned in tedium, preparing a thousand and one more insults "I trust you'll know how to handle everything, it's in your nature after all" and I walked away surrendered. He was silent at the words. 

"Oh, you're definitely planning something. God! I knew that..." 

"Ugh, you're so fucking annoying," and I came out of the bathroom trying to avoid that line of conversation completely. "You're welcome, by the way! Fucking faggot." 

* * *

We walked along this path that divided the parking lot, an immense garden, and the porch the size of an average house... 

"So the plan is the following..." 

"So there was a pl..." 

"I told you about it this morning" I commented tediously being greeted by some kind of host, gave my name and entered, Kahl behind me. 

"Ow, right, the alphas thing... what could go wrong, huh?" And his gaze seemed to be stuck on his surroundings, this film setting, gold and white moving between marble floor, silk curtains, gold ornaments, expensive manufacturing, paintings here, sculptures there... 

"Don't say that, nothing will go wrong... even though with you around something always goes wrong, sometimes I think it gives you sexual pleasure to shit on my fucking ideas or something" he let out a soft laugh as we walked through the crowd. 

And the aromas were moving in the air, still perceptible to my retarded sense of smell. Domination and submission were summed up in these absorbing undertones of sexuality that moved across the walls and floors as reminders of those in charge here and those who should only buckle down when the situation called for it.

"Yes, yes, asshole. My boners revolve around your stupid plans, why do you think I insist so much on knowing them? To know if I should look for lubricant or not" and my smile grew as I saw the eyes of specifically alphas get stuck in the presence next to me. Kyle. 

And it was interesting; because I couldn't smell him yet, so I had to assume that he wasn't yet overflowing with hormones as I expected, or at least not enough to reach my stupid nose, and yet his very presence attracted more attention than any trained Omega in this room. 

Another interesting point was that he seemed curiously calm despite the presence of so many possible threats to his virgin ass; unlike others of his kind, whose position became instinctively submissive as they crossed the porch. 

Kyle walked upright, head high, this contemptuous tedium in his eyes as he let his usual irony flow in situations that bothered him. 

Fascinating. 

"Well, get ready for the boner of the year Kahl. Come" and I advanced through the crowd as this boring music played in the background. A string quartet and a piano were playing from the main hall on a small stage surrounded by windows looking out onto a second or third garden, or whatever. 

"And how are you supposed to do that? The alphas thing that..." he muttered with feigned prudence. He was acting more shitty than usual today... although lately that seemed like his trademark. 

I guess being an Omega had affected him in some way a little... unpredictable. 

"You were still drunk this morning, weren't you? You don't remember shit" I said, looking through the crowd for my target. 

"No... no. I could remember, but if I can erase your fat face from my memory for a second..." and I finally found them. 

"Just shut up. Do you see those two alphas?" I pointed my head at the couple of characters with their respective whores. His gaze followed mine with deliberate annoyance. 

"Better than you probably... beta" he spat the last word amusingly, glancing sideways at me for my reaction. I took a deep breath to try and regain some patience. 

"You gotta act like a bitch, right? You gotta do it right now, Kahl, right now..." 

"Yes yes, I see them. Jeez. What about them?" he asked, his tone descending. I pulled out my cell phone to answer. 

Garrison had sent me information on every potential investor at the evening... I don't know why, because in theory that wasn't my job, but if he thought the information would be fruitful in my hands, who was I to say no? 

"Wait... I'm looking for... the one on the right, the blond one" his gaze moved to the one named as I read the information given shortly. 

"Yep" he confirmed. 

"I heard that he fervently agrees with the implementation of protectionist policies, the one on the right on the other hand..." 

"If they don't agree, what the hell are they doing here?" 

"Not everyone is a hundred percent suited to all the ideals of the group, Omega. This ideology has many nuances that can be appealed to different alphas with different interests; some may be for protectionist policies, others for immigration policies, others because this is what comes closest to their beloved ideal of nationalism, others are just trying to predict whose dick they will suck in the next election... who knows?” I followed him. "So yes, they may differ in certain shades, but it seems that the evolutionary process has made them smart enough to accept that ideological difference, that at the end of the day are nothing but means of mass control" his tongue snapped in response. 

"God, you didn't have to throw out a damn speech to answer that" 

"Kahl..." 

"And the other is not so interested in a closed economy..." he confirmed. 

"He is, but not entirely," and we moved forward a few more steps in silence. We approached and after a few exchanges of formalities seemed to come into context, dismissing these tedious hormones while their omegas, both women, were silent and nodding from time to time when they were be named without moving their gaze from the floor or their alpha's eyes, as if it were the only thing worth looking at. 

"You're the guy from the conferences, I was at the one in Aspen... it's pretty impressive to see someone so young with such a gab, and even more for a beta" spoke the blond. I had to hold back my scowl from the last sentence. 

"As long as my motivations are correct, it's really easy to get the words right," I replied. The second, a young entrepreneur with these Californian traits smiled in response. 

"Right words indeed" but he didn't seem really interested in the conversation, his attention, like that of the blond man, was completely fixed on one thing. Kyle "And your friend is..." 

"Oh, he is a fellow student, it helps me understand our motivations more efficiently, I guess," I looked at him sideways. He nodded. 

"Kyle Broflovski" spoke, extending his hand, which was received almost immediately by one, then by the other. I looked at the contact; longer than usual, this sliding of the fingers as they eventually parted as if they wanted to extend the touch between them as far as was necessary. 

And even the essence of the other Omegas reached my sense of smell more easily than Kyle's, which I couldn't even feel; but somehow they did. 

I silently detailed the behavior of their whores, nope, they didn't take their eyes off the floor, like these statues in churches of saints in limestone robes looking down on hell, hands together on their gray lap and knees ready to caress cold tiles in pursuit of blowing their god. 

And yet Kyle could keep his eyes up. Was it due to conductive factors or submissive nature? I wouldn't know. 

I continued the conversation, eventually bringing up the question of their ideological dissonance. 

Kyle spoke in turn, and the results were more than fruitful. By the time we walked away their discussion continued as these threatening hormones swarmed about them, meanwhile, my smile spread amusingly over the results. 

"Did you feel it?" 

"I sure did" he spoke with this fascinated tone in turn, I was not the only one who seemed to appreciate the little tension that seemed to form between the leaders of the pack. 

And it was to be expected; in itself it was something unnatural that so many beings whose purpose was to lead and possess would disperse that task among several, it was in their acting to seek the centralization of power in as few hands as possible, and yet here they were, about fifteen, trying to congrue into political and economic leaders. Little animals designed to guide looking for a guide, something arbitrary I had to admit, and therefore easy to mislead... in theory, but it seemed to be working in practice as well. 

* * *

Well, apparently I'd have the boner of the year, just like Cartman said. 

"And you? What do you think?" asked one of the two alphas. I smiled, impressed by the interest everyone seemed to have in my opinion... but even more impressed by Cartman's lack of surprise at that fact. 

"I agree, politics has lost power as we have moved forward, the state no longer has real control over the financial sector, and the debt bubble is going to burst eventually; there are organizations that are not even legislated by any government, and when the crisis comes, because it will come, probably worse than the one in two thousand eight, there will be no financial organization to support investors or the real sector. The state, once again, will have to take a major role in protecting domestic industry, and if it doesn't start now..." I spoke as they nodded in agreement for every damn word, repeating information I had read in some Wall Street Journal article a couple of months ago, it was really funny. 

Cartman would just watch in silence, adding a few comments to fan this ideological discord like wildfire, in order to encourage this tension, the flames of innate, power-hungry leaders. 

Somehow he knew exactly what to say to make them doubt, and that was curious, because he didn't require much knowledge to do so. I rarely saw his quality of manipulation shine in this way, and under circumstances like these, the idea that he was a mere beta was increasingly shown to be a fallacy. 

Eventually we moved away, each step making the heaviness that saturated the air more conscious to my sense of smell, like this cigar in the forest dangerously close to dry grass, millimeters from a fire that could spread to the tiniest corner in existence, extinguishing anything that landed in between. 

There were interesting people here, from senior managers and important shareholders of multinationals, who were mostly betas; to CEOs, CFOs and other senior managers of industrial, commercial, or media related companies, all national of course. Those were obviously alphas. 

Most of them seemed to be here out of sheer curiosity; to sympathize with the alternative right would not have been smart a few years ago, but unfortunately, since even before Garrison's election as president, it had started to take quite a bit of power, and this meeting, among other things, was a very obvious proof of that. 

But something didn't add up... no, something never added up with Cartman. 

"What's the point of this?" I asked, watching silently as hypocrisy brimmed over with smiles, those perfectly shaped ones, emulating masks worthy of some Victorian evening. 

And we hadn't really done much, every single person here, as Cartman had said, was in their place for mere self-interest... this question of fighting for a better future for the country and all that shit was just pure verbiage for the public. 

The hypocrisy was there from the beginning, Cartman and I just... made a few cracks in those perfectly placed masks. 

"Doesn't that feel good?" he asked distantly, looking particularly at the omegas. I followed his gaze... and remembered his words about some 'modified' omegas, meeting the one I assumed was the character he had described during the morning "They are only... humans after all" I turned my gaze to him once again for such a curious statement "This is like watching God bleed" 

"It's not like they are immune to their own system," he nodded. "Throughout history their very ignorance has led them to fail over and over again, everything around us is just the product of a process of trying and failing since the industrial revolution... so yes, they have bled quite a bit along the way. It must have been interesting to see alphas jumping off buildings during the 1930s crisis" he let out a gentle laugh, this hint of something... sinister in it. 

"Oh, I would have paid to see that." 

"But I still don't understand..." his gaze traveled in search of my orbs in one lazy movement, his lips girded in this thin line of dissimulated weariness. 

"It is simple Kahl, you have the knowledge, I have the buttons to press, put them together and see what happens... I just wanted to try" I turned towards those who, even without the aroma, stood out as omegas for this... acting submissive, barely speaking, no more than to follow orders, walking a few steps away from their masters... and it did not seem something of simple training, they emanated this strange essence of... fear? I could not describe it, but it was completely contrary to that of those alphas. 

And I hadn't paid particular attention to it, but the eyes of at least half the room seemed to be directed in this direction, like a magnet of... very, very bad intentions. I took a few steps back, feeling a certain pressure on my chest, perhaps some sort of warning that between elaborate words about economic theories I had let slip imperceptibly. 

"We should go" I muttered in his direction, finding his gaze, renewed curiosity bathing his countenance. 

"Are you scared?" 

"Scared?" he frowned as if something wasn't working according to some stupid or sick whim in that twisted head "No... but... I feel curiously exposed, look at them" I turned to the crowd. Reproductions of twisted mannequins with their inert heads stuck in the same shitty direction... empty looks, hypocritical smiles... or maybe it was just my imagination, still it was disturbing "it's like they know that..." 

Between threatening tones that covered the essence of the place, these subtones of a suffocatingly... sexual air, were rising, fast... 

Cartman's smile seemed to expand, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes and then wrinkled his nose in feigned displeasure. 

"Wow. Doesn't it smell like... shit around here?" and the estate dried up my mouth almost completely, heat bathed my back in sweat that left behind a trail of tremors from the sudden realization that... that my wolf skin had fallen completely to the ground, and that the looks on my intact neck were desire made eyes, biased by animal instinct, to stick a mark on my virgin skin... "Look at me" his hands buried themselves in my cheeks forcing me to seek his gaze. 

"I have to get out of here" his smile grew amused at the nervousness in my tone. 

"Of course not, Kahl" and he cut off some distance between the two, his scent reaching once more my nose, overpowering that of any alpha or omega in the place... even though his degree of perceptiveness was a thousand times less. How can you focus your attention on the dying leaf of a cedar tree in autumn, instead of looking at the cedar itself... "You're the one in power here" I looked at him in disbelief for such a ridiculous statement. Had his brain gone down his ass and was he finally letting out all the shit accumulated in his fat belly?... God. 

"Are you stupid? I'm an om..." his hands slipped under my cheeks, getting possessive of my neck. I felt the air become heavier at the touch, as if the position of his digits was a clear affront to the contained needs of the alphas contemplating the scene. 

"No. You're not just a sheep, Kahl," he cocked his head to one side, I felt his thumbs swaying in circles along my jugular in calm motion, and for some reason I didn't feel the urge to walk away. “I recommend that you follow his orders at first, and when you think they are beyond your lines, you know, those that involve losing a certain degree of pride and dignity, then deny yourself" his tone, a guttural, manipulative, satisfied... demanding, invaded my ear making anything around me disappear like the diffuse memory of a dagger in my throat. A dagger  _ still _ in my throat. 

He was the most dangerous one in this place, and I was worried about the wolves thirsting for sheep's blood... 

What a way to fool me... as usual. 

"You motherfucker" I managed to mumble despite the dissonance of my voice in contrast to my hate. He let go a soft laugh. 

"When that happens, take a picture for me please, I want to see his expression when he realizes that you are not just a puppet" and he moved his touch away, took a few steps back and turned towards the alpha that had started his way in our direction "Good luck" he murmured in my ear leaving his warm breath running satisfied through my neck as a victory sentence.

Well, apparently the one with the boner wasn’t me. 

"Kyle Broflovski?" I smelled that omega overflowing with surgeries on that man's skin. I could make out Cartman's scent on him. They had spoken, yesterday perhaps, as well as his scent running through the walls and floors with more intensity than anyone else's, I guess this was his home, with him hosting the evening. 

* * *

I couldn't help but be surprised to see that figure so dissonant with the environment walking in my direction. Kenneth McCormick. He was wearing a custom-made designer suit... what a bizarre image. He walked somewhat hunched over, clear discomfort bathed his expression, giving away this almost submissive posture in his walk.

"Cartman" he spoke, his voice flowing broken and unsettled. So it was more than just training. 

"How many dicks did you have to suck to get in?" he took a deep breath, looking for patience, avoiding looking in the direction of any alpha around us. He turned to this huge arched window with curtains of some expensive cloth that overlooked the garden, some of the many gardens that seemed to surround this villa. 

"Surprisingly... none. What the hell are you doing?" 

"Enjoying the atmosphere. Lovely, isn't it?" 

"Where's Kyle?" I wondered for a moment what his reaction would be. Maybe I should do something about it; even though I thought he would be able to defend himself, something told me that Kenny wouldn't think the same way. 

"He was taken by an alpha, the host of the meeting" 

"You let him take it?"

"No one forced him, Kenny, our respectable host invited him into his office. Saying no was also an option." 

"He's an Omega Cartman, if one of these assholes tells him to recite a Hitler speech in Hebrew with their voice, he will fucking do it" No. Not Kyle "Tell me you have a backup plan" I could hear the little scary tone in his voice. Someone had had really bad experiences with alphas. 

"Yeah... that..." but things could be as bad as he thought they were. The ability to command was not the only worrying aspect of an alpha. 

"Cartman" 

"I was improvising a little, maybe it got out of control?" 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" 

"I thought you were training him to be just as much of a whore, as Liane showed you, though, you Omegas are natural at that" anger had covered his exhausted face. His hands went up to my cardigan's lapel. 

"I'm not gonna play this stupid game right now Cartman. I'm going after Kyle, and if you don't find some way to distract this damn crowd before I get to him, be prepared to lose two friends in one day. It's up to you whether we see each other again after tonight or not" after those words he turned around to get lost in the crowd. 

He could be an Omega, but he had a rather interesting talent for making threats. 

* * *

"So you study together" I nodded, looking around the office. The lights had not been turned on, the music sounded distant downstairs, and voices were camouflaged by the murmur of the night. His figure almost seemed to be a silhouette against the open curtain window, the garden lamps contouring his shape. 

"That's right."

"I could hear some of your conversations... Are you the one who writes the speeches?" I smiled politely, I refused to be afraid; even though not more than half an hour ago I was asking Cartman to leave. Whatever the reason for his words, it didn't matter; I had the opportunity to see the real world right in front of me, and spit on it. 

"Is it that obvious?" he let out a guttural smile, his voice changing somehow as the conversation progressed. He approached me in the crowd, and as an order, asked me to accompany him. Why did I obey? 

"He is good with words, he knows how to put them in the right order to generate the right reaction; but you, well, you give him the original meaning, the canvas and the colour palette" he stood up, not very interested in continuing the conversation "Stand up" that voice again, I followed his orders. He began to circle the table; in a reflex unbecoming to me I took a pen from the table, I felt the weight between my hands, it must have been silver, perhaps gold. I hid it in the sleeve of my coat.

"I heard that you were looking at the possibility of an investment" he did not bother to continue the charade moving in my direction. Through the light of the garden I could see his eyes dilating at the sight, his nostrils contracting, inhaling, as if a long line of cocaine was in front of him. 

"Take off your clothes" 

What?

I watched him in disbelief, stepping back towards the door. 

"No" his eyebrows arched in surprise. I didn't understand, was it so improper to refuse an Alpha's order? "I guess this is the end of the conversation" I refused to be afraid. I refused to be the victim. Kenny could grope the beast and walk away unscathed, offering in return an ounce of his dignity... Maybe I could do it some other way, my way. 

"You're not leaving" he commanded again, his voice rumbling like Wendy's that day. I smiled as politely as the situation allowed. 

"I'm afraid I will. Now, if you'll excuse me..." in front of me was just another hypocrite, whose mask was beginning to crack under his sexual instinct. Every being with access to such a degree of power was hopelessly doomed to give in. 

I walked to the door, abruptly too far away. 

"Stop" he almost shouted. I continued walking. 

And the mask broke. 

A hand grabbed my wrist, burying its claws with clear intent to harm. When I looked at that beast, with a curiosity underlying my sudden terror, curiosity about the real features of that being, I found nothing but a faceless being. And at last, after a thousand warnings, I knew I was in danger. 

My back hit the carved wood, the doorknob was buried in the bottom of my spine, prompting a brief groan through my lips. Hands muffled my scream, one on my lips, the other against my neck, his fingers moving like snakes on skin in search of something. 

"Don't make me hurt you, dear. You're worth too much, I'd hate to see you devalued by nasty, ugly scars" teeth nailed against my jaw. My heart pounded at the memory of that horrible mark on Kenny... No. I couldn't let him mark me. 

I pushed him as hard as I could, the distant sound of his weight hitting the desk, the crashing of a thousand things to the ground caught up with me as I felt my neck with each palpitation asking me to run. I touched the knob again, ready to leave. I managed to open the door, managed to see the light in the corridor before fingers were buried in my hair.

I groaned in pain, seeing myself being dragged against a huge couch.

"I said stop. Didn't I?" My weight fell to the surface, I felt the pen between my fingers counting the options in my head at the speed of light. 

"Get away" I backed up against the furniture, my voice trembled. I couldn't define his face, in the darkness of the room, in the terror, in the adrenaline; the concept of a human being had been completely eliminated from that black form in front of me. I was not running away from a man, an alpha, I was running away from the concept of a victim, which that horrible shadow in the darkness would impose on me "Get away, or I will kill you" 

An abhorrent smell reached my nostrils, sexual desire in the air, my threats only stimulated him more. Maybe Kenny was right, every act of ours was an instigator of sinful desires. 

"I understand the appeal of your kind. It will feel so damn good to fuck that stubbornness out of you" he spoke between gasping breaths, that horrible shadow hovering over me. 

He lunged at me, he lunged at that silver pen at the level of my chest, at the level of his throat, and this mixture of blood and rotten egg flooded my nostrils. The shadow over me gurgled words without meaning, drowning in its prominent death. I could not locate eyes, or mouth; I could not feel even a hint of regret as hands went to my own, trying to move the object of his fall, scratching, groping like a blind man in an unknown place. 

"I warned you" my voice came out trembling, exhausted, drowned out. 

Cold ran through my touch, I moved his body away from me feeling completely bathed in that thick red liquid. I wiped my eyes, I tried to wipe it from my lips feeling a gagging sensation rise in my chest, useless impulses to vomit in the absence of something to vomit drained my last glimpses of strength. I wanted to pee, I was dizzy, I was nauseous, and I didn't know exactly what to feel, I just knew that... that it hadn't felt wrong, and that fact in itself was quite revealing. 

I recognized this state, the feeling of being on the verge of an emotional breakdown. It only took something extremely small to push me into this deep, deep pit of guilt, of aberrant, putrid guilt. 

"Kyle…” and something seemed to hit my chest in a spasm of painful realisation. A subtle tremor invaded me, sweat ran down my temples, forehead, neck and back as cold as the night "Kyle are you ok?!" I turned to the completely exorbitant voice, nausea ran up my chest as the horror in Kenny's expression said absolutely everything. 

"I..." his gaze moved between the body, between the pen in my hands that I held with the despair of a shipwreck in the open sea, and the pool of blood that grew with every second "Kenn..." 

"C' mon, I think Cartman did something with the gas pipes" he deliberately ignored the body. My gaze went down to nothing in particular, trying to shape this whole surreal scene, as I felt myself being alienated from this room as if I could see everything from a completely different perspective than my own, as if I didn't recognize myself and...

Was this really happening? 

"Do you have a lighter?" I whispered, the voice hoarse, alien. 

"What?" 

"I didn't smell it long ago, maybe about five minutes, and it wasn't very strong... the gas is lighter than air, it must be centered in the upper floors, I smelled it first downstairs, if we ignite something small on this floor and get out in time with some luck it will eventually start a small fire, if the fire is already started it will be really difficult for the firefighters to trace the source of the leak... there is unlimited fuel here: gas leaks, chairs, wood, curtains, beds... will take a long time to extinguish..." I muttered at incredible speed, desperately looking for something to distract my memory. He turned in my direction, "Do you have a fucking lighter or not? We don't have time" he nodded. 

"Isn't it... dangerous?" he extended it in my direction. I couldn't help but smile at the words. 

"We're up to our necks in shit Ken... a little more won't hurt us" I started to pull away my coat completely soaked in blood, as well as the shirt, the tie Cartman had helped me tie. 

_ Cartman.  _

"I don't know about you, but I really don't want it to get in my mouth" I wiped the blood from my face with the curtain before I opened the window. 

_ Eric fucking Cartman. _

"You go first" my heart still felt like it was about to overflow, and I didn't dare look at that static beast that after this strange moment of realisation had taken on a more human face, even though I was still reluctant to classify it as such.

_ Eric motherfucking Cartman.  _

"So we're just going to ignore the corps..." 

"No," I shook the lighter in front of me. "You go down first," I repeated. He nodded as he slid down expertly. And in that moment of loneliness I could contemplate the thought that was haunting me. 

All this, the blood on the carpet, the body in the room, the gas in the air, and the fire that would engulf everything, was the result of his ruses. 

He would not get away with it this time. No, I wouldn't allow it. 

I left the lighter on the edge of the window open, the small, insignificant flame waiting to be spread. I left everything behind, somehow wishing that Cartman was still inside, wishing desperately for him to burn along with everything else. 

* * *

I took a deep breath contemplating the scene from the truck... the smell of burning wood started to reach my nose, I could see the warm tones growing from the back of the giant house. 

I didn't think a fire would start... or that it would get out of hand to this point. Should I be worried? 

I monotonously checked the thousand and one messages from that whore Garrison asking what the hell was going on. I just responded with a "no fucking idea". 

I put my weight against the back of the seat remembering his expression as he walked away with the alpha... he didn't put up much of a fight to my surprise... as if a part of him, perhaps naturally, gave in to the curiosity of what that kind of contact might entail. 

I let go of a gentle smile of irony. 

Every once in a while it would come to that. Yeah, where I had so many thoughts, theories, ideas... explanations, gaps in my head that I just stopped thinking about it. 

A part of me had this strange satisfaction bias I had to admit, after all seeing that Omega Jew fall to a certain degree provided me with a trail of pleasure that nothing could compare to, so I may well have done this for the simple gratifying sensation it was going to generate in me... but there are always buts, like a universal law of human morality. 

But I was really curious. Curiosity that I saw the opportunity to satiate throughout the evening, curiosity excited by that strange nihilism that seemed to have been acquired throughout the days by the Jew... 

Fucking Kenny and his stupid influence. 

I closed my eyes exhausted turning on some music on the radio, no sound of ambulances or firemen reached my ears, but something told me they would be here soon. 

And the fire kept spreading... eventually the sprinkler system must have kicked in, but I doubted it would be enough to put it out. 

And I don't know how long I lasted with the orbs closed, but the sound of someone opening the back door brought me out of this much needed lethargy. I watched in the rearview mirror as the Jew came in silently. He wasn't wearing his coat or shirt, just this black top, some bruises, some bites and scratches on his neck. All of which was out of tune with the absence of everything on his face, completely white, like a porcelain doll whose sculptor did not know what a fucking expression was. 

I started the engine in silence. I wouldn't ask where Kenny was, he'd probably gone off to his own way... as he always did lately. 

A fire truck passed by us minutes later, as we eventually entered the congested road to Denver. 

I looked at the time, rush hour. Oh, awesome. 

I looked in the rearview mirror with nothing better to do, a long line of cars ahead. 

And there he was, just looking at nothing in particular, these dancing absinthe flashes in his eyes, completely intoxicated in... in something I couldn't understand right now. 

My curiosity was supposed to have been satisfied by now but... 

"Are you..." 

"Shut up" he muttered, lifting his legs to his chest, resting his chin on his knees without saying much more. 

I frowned in annoyance. 

"Do you remember when..." he breathed, as if he had forgotten how to do it, a process far from being mechanical "... when my family decided to move to San Francisco?" I narrowed my gaze at the memory. 

"Maybe" he smiled grimly at the words. 

"It was quite frustrating... yeah. Parents can be so damn retarded," he breathed again. "And... I thought it didn't matter anymore, having to endure the stupidity of adults who had condemned my damn childhood just because of this perception of progressiveness or whatever. Ridiculous... so, consuming meth was the easiest and most immediate response at the time" I arched my eyebrow at the estate, so that's why he was like that when I arrived... it's not like I really cared "It was funny" he let out a strange laugh about it. 

I didn't say anything, I didn't know what it was all that about so I just waited and watched the car move at an absurdly slow pace. 

"And now... I can't go to a university or... have a family, because I don't have the right to raise my own children, I can't find a fucking job without falsifying documents and live like a fucking escaped convict or..." he bit his lip, frustration finally breaking that expression that more than his face looked like a disturbing mask "... What's the point?" he found my gaze through the rear-view mirror, wetness rocking in the lower part of his eyes, little drops of despair refusing to overflow because then they would have some degree of reality... reality that I was sure as hell he didn't want to accept. 

It was like looking at an incredibly fragile object millimeters from the unforgiving ground... 

"There's no point" I said, anxious to see him break. 

Tears fell then, like a wall that fervently holds up a statement, a statement that implied his very life, the little strength he had to try to hold on to it. But now there was nothing but ruins, and all that rotten anguish he tried to contain invaded him, like unstoppable hosts thirsty for the decline of his psyche, sweeping away any argument in favour of continuing to breathe. 

And I couldn't help but smile at it in satisfaction. 

"Look at me" he looked down in surrender, without the slightest intention of obeying, sinking his face into his arms, like a child curled up in the deepest corner of his only refuge when the monsters of the closet entered his room. 

"I killed him" he muttered,and for a second I thought I had heard wrong but... "He did as you said, giving orders... in this strange tone, easy 'follow me, open the door, sit down... look at me..." 

"I told you, if he crossed the line..." 

"I tried to leave... and... he smiled, his look like... like he just won the damn lottery, he looked so happy and he didn't understand why... why I was disobeying him..." he looked up. 

And finally we got out of the traffic jam, I took the main road out of town. 

"Does that make sense?" so he liked the idea of him being an abnormal. Interesting. 

"No" I spoke loud enough, entering the suburbs surrounding the big metropolis. We were leaving the bustle of the city behind. 

Every word that came out of his mouth took minutes to emerge, as if he had to carry a strong debate in his psyche to talk... to me precisely. 

"Have you seen those movies where... after a certain point everything goes to hell? you think it couldn't get any worse and... they just keep on and on lowering the moral standards of the plot to the point where you don't even know if the idea of it being art justifies that decline in ethics and..." he was babbling nonsense... he probably didn't even know how to put his ideas into words, Getting lost even in the examples with which he was trying to relate his current emotions, a simple infant who doesn't know the right sentence for what he is trying to express "I feel that... I am in that sick fucking shit that... that seems unreal in itself..." I let out a soft laugh at the estate, he raised his gaze in disbelief. 

"We have hit worse depths, Kahl," he let out a long sigh of resignation at the words. He lay down on the seats, huddled against the leather. "How did it go?" I asked, without hiding the curiosity that I certainly wanted to satisfy. He closed his orbs with a deep breath, biting his lip in tedium. 

"There was this pen. He had hit me a couple of times shouting certain words and orders that he intended me to obey without complaint. Stop, undress..." I saw his expression crinkle in displeasure, and I could not help but imitate his gesture. God, how fucking disgusting "There was this... pen and papers on a desk, I took it and he pushed me against a sofa or something with this superhuman strength and... he jumped on me and..." his voice was losing strength as he spoke. 

"Come on, don't cut at the best part," he snorted in disgust. 

"And I raised my pen like a shield or something. He just went ahead of me despite it... there wasn't that much resistance, just... a grunt and then Kenny..." silence. 

I took a deep breath, still deep in confusion. I looked once more through the mirror, iris of an opaque jade, exhausted, tears still coming down like a river silenced in an endless forest... he looked like a corpse absent from everything but pain made into salty drops. 

"Are you happy?" he asked... whispered. 

I kept silent searching for the answer and I really didn't know. I couldn't feel sorry for him, and... 

"You don't understand the consequences of all this, do you?" he spoke once more. 

"Well, I know there's going to be consequences, that's something, isn't it?" I commented by speeding up outside the residential area. He smiled softly at the comment, a certain amount of life coming back into his eyes. 

"I hate that so much... about you. Your goddamn inability to weigh the consequences of your actions" he spoke more to himself "This is over Cartman" 

"Excuse me?" 

"I will not accompany you anymore, I will give you some real fucking consequences" I let out a soft laugh at the comment. 

"Do you really think your opinion matters?" He pulled his cell phone out of his pants, I heard him wiggle his fingers lazily around the screen and... 

"Yes... am I talking to the Omega control program?" surprise ran through my chest as I heard his words, stopping the car almost immediately "I want to report an Omega... yes" I turned to him in disbelief. His gaze was fixed on me, like a challenge accepted. 

Nah, he didn't have the balls to... he started giving out the address; state, city, town, street... and the house number... wait, that wasn't... "Her name is Liane Cartman" 

And he hung up.


	9. Lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I was almost a month without a computer at hand, I couldn't continue the translation, and while I was at it, I rewrote this whole chapter, so yep. I apologize for the delay :c

First heat.

_ "What's that injection for?" _

I wasn't much for words, I was never the chatty type. There were a thousand more interesting things to do with your mouth than talk, a thousand more interesting things to hear than words. 

One night a new language opened up for me, a language I knew too well. 

"Please. Please fuck me" my pleas were answered; God could ignore my prayers, but his lambs could not. 

_ "It's medicine, darling. It will make you feel better."  _

The touch burned as hands discovered skin, unsure of their actions. Uncertain about the situation. A small trickle of blood came from the joint in my arm, an empty, used syringe rested on the night table, the house was alone, the night was young, and my mind was as far from me as any hint of shame or embarrassment, though it's not as if I had had much of that to begin with. 

_ "Medicine?"  _

I grabbed his neck in such despair that I felt unrecognizable, miraculously containing my need to devour his lips, holding my forehead against his, absorbing those eyes of the color of heaven, and the malice of hell, curiously identical to mine in form and content.

_ "Yes, medicine you must take from now on"  _

"I know you want it as much as I do" I whispered against his half-open lips, sliding my hand to his prominent erection "Mercilessly, just the way you like it" I knew how to keep the game going, I knew how to play with peace, temptation, withholding in order to generate pleasure with greater intensity; I had a whole damn list of games before the act itself; I found the preliminary grope more amusing most of the times; not today, I just wanted to be tainted to tears, to unconsciousness. 

_ "Am I sick? Shit, I knew I had to take that STD test"  _

"Quick" I pulled his hair towards me, our exhalations colliding. I wanted to kiss him... but that would make the scene more personal, less... Utilitarian? I wrapped my legs around his hips, pushing myself against him, playing with his hair with one hand, unbuttoning his belt, button, zipper with the other. 

_ "No Kenny, you're not sick. You're an omega." _

"I don't know how to fucking do this" I laughed at the tremor in his voice biting my lip in amusement, pushing my throbbing erection against his through fabric, groping the edge of his boxers. 

" _ I've only seen that word on the label of one subcategory of porn... and well, although sometimes it is, in this case it's not very educational. _ " 

"I know you know, Eric. Stop playing innocent and just fuck me" I felt his erection react as soon as I uttered his name. I just had to say the right words to unleash the sadist in him. 

" _ It means a lot of things, good or bad, it's up to you. _ " 

"You okay with this? With me?" I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed him toward me biting his lips to urge him to open them. He groaned as my tongue abused every corner of that obscene cavity, his tongue bumping into mine weak, frightened. I buried my fingers deeper in his hair, he groaned again taking the damn hint. He bit my upper lip awkwardly. How long had it been since he'd kissed anyone? 

" _ That sounds ominous as hell. _ " 

"Do I look like I care?" I pull away enough, whispering the words against his mouth. He swallowed, as if consuming, making them his own, breaking any trace of empathy left behind, or just confirming its inexistence. He moved away, kneeling on the bed in front of me, his smile finally coming out the way I wanted it. Nasty, sick, perverted. 

" _ I can explain to you if you want, if you don't have a place to spend your first heat, you can stay here _ " 

"God, McCormick. What would your mommy say if she heard you talk like that?" I laughed underneath as I slipped my eyes through his open jeans, a tiny speck of wetness protruding from that tent that was rising between his legs, his chest rising and drowning even as he tried hard not to make it obvious in his voice, the uncontrolled beating of his heart ringing against my ears, that smell of sweat and sex promising total absence of boundaries, and his eyes... Damn, those eyes. 

" _ Heat? _ "

"She wouldn't be as proud as yours, I bet" I moved my hands to release my own erection. It hurt. His fingers buried their way into my wrists, forcing my hands over my head. His figure descended upon me, and for a moment a flash of reason made me tremble. 

" _ That's right. Look, after about two lines of coke, you can take some and spread it on the shaft of your penis, I know it sounds absurd, but it's amazing honey, you're unstoppable, you extend it for three days, and you get the best orgasms of your life. That, Kenny, is basically heat, and so I call it, Heatven. _ " 

How stupid did I have to be to find myself at this level of vulnerability facing a potential serial killer? No fucking idea, by the time I tried to answer myself my face was buried against the pillow, too engrossed in the most incredible carnal pleasure in the fucking world to even breathe. 

And sure enough, Cartman's mom was right, this was fucking heaven. 

* * *

Second heat. 

Laughter filled the air, the sound of glass clattering from time to time, insults and jokes that without the effects of alcohol were completely unfunny. 

"Shut the fuck up, it's Bebe's turn" shouted Wendy from somewhere in the circle, most men straightened out almost immediately, except for the openly gay, and those still enclosed. 

"And the lucky one is..." mumbled Bebe turning the bottle.

Murmurs of disappointment reached me as I saw the bottle pointing in my direction. Oh, fuck yeah. 

"In your fucking face, Clyde!" Bebe laughed softly at my declaration of victory as she stood. She extended her hand in my direction, and after helping me stand, we found ourselves ten steps later in the closet. 

"No bodily fluids in my goddamn closet!" Cartman yelled, I would have gladly replied not to worry, that I brought condoms for that, but my mouth was too busy being the bitch of Bebe's tongue. 

"Holy shit" I felt her laugh against my lips. 

"You're as good as they say" she whispered between gasping breaths, the hue of alcohol and cherry lipstick saturating my sense of smell, my reason, my fucking dick. 

"Me? Bebe, your tongue just made a rap god cover in my fucking mouth" she laughed again, I could feel a marijuana dye on her breath, scented with some lemon. 

"That sounds… messy" 

"I love messy" I circled her hips, pushing her in my direction, smiling at the clear malice in her eyes as she felt my need against her lower stomach "Now, will you grant me the pleasure of making a complete mess out of you?"

"Please" I grabbed her hips in an innocent attempt to maintain my decency, to be slipped by her hands even lower. I smiled against her lips squeezing the tender flesh between my hands, her arms wrapped around my neck, and helped by my hands in the right place, she lifted her legs around my hip, back leaning against the door. And she began this movement with her hips, up, down, somewhat slowly but fucking madly. God, I loved cheerleaders. 

I heard people murmuring outside, trying to hide their voices until Cartman's tongue snapped. 

"Well, seven minutes" I moved my hand to the doorknob, hoping that Bebe could hold on without the support of one of my hands, this was testing my resistance "Hey, you can't block the door, asshole!" I walked away long enough to talk, going down to her jaw, her neck. 

"I have the stick of truth, I can do whatever I want." 

"For the last time Kenny, your dick is not the fucking stick of truth!" Bebe laughed as she lowered one of her legs, breathing heavily, pulling her neck away from my lips.

"Time's up" she muttered. "It's the rules" I let go of the knob, the door opened almost immediately "But there are no rules in my room, you can fuck them however you like"

The game continued despite Kyle's protests, it was already close to ten o'clock at night when Wendy spun the bottle. Bebe.

"H-h-hooo-holy shit, that's hot" Jimmy said from somewhere. 

"Who votes for them to do it here?" Most people raised their hands... except the women, and Cartman and Kyle; geez. Even Tweek and Craig supported the goddamn proposal, and they weren't even into that. 

"Thank God this isn't a fucking democracy" spoke Wendy walking to the closet without any major rituals, Bebe followed silently.

"Are you ready to find out that your girlfriend was just using you to cover up her lesbian needs?" 

"Shut up Cartman" as soon as the door closed at least half the group approached the door with the intention of listening. I wanted to imitate them, I had a thing for the cliché of the always cold and perfect student council president and the hot cheerleader; but it wasn't necessary, I just had to close my eyes and focus my ear on the inside of that room, and I could probably hear a thousand more things than those poor betas kneeling against the door. 

"Let's just wait" Bebe muttered to keep the obvious listeners from hearing. I sighed in disappointment, well, I saw it coming. 

"Oh, Bebe Stevens cheating on a round of seven minutes in heaven" there was a certain sexual murmur in Wendy's voice which forced a stream of shivers down my spine; the erection which I thought I had lost was renewed. 

"Wendy, you are drunk" a step was taken, I recognized Wendy's shoes in the sound, coming closer, towards Bebe I had to assume. 

"You smell like..." I heard the familiar reflex of sniffing, not looking for the hint of alcohol, the mark of perfume or deodorant... no, the kind that looks for something even more subtle.

The wet sound of lips clashing reached my ears, the gliding of hair between fingers, the small murmur of imperceptible moans emerging between kisses, teeth clashing and a whisper between lips.

"... Omega" spoke Wendy at last, so low that if I hadn't heard the word every damn day of my life, I probably wouldn't have been able to make it out. 

My chest jumped in terror, my eyes widened finding Cartman's boring look on me. 

"Huh?" Bebe asked, she hadn't heard. God... 

Cartman raised one of his eyebrows at the sudden paleness of my countenance, turning for a second to his own closet door. For a moment the gears moved a little stunned by the alcohol, but there it was a minute later, his look of complete understanding of the situation 

"Seven minutes, bitches, the dildos aren't in that closet!" The door opened five seconds later before a river of perverts fleeing from the closet entrance, back to their posts in the circle. 

I watched Wendy, forced to swallow at the image, staring at me, eyes dilated, right fang biting the corner of her moistened lip. She smiled with a certain victory bias before taking her place, turning her gaze to Stan casually, as if she hadn't just undressed me with it. 

She knew it. Oh, shit. 

And fate was probably laughing its head off, because on my next turn the nozzle stopped on Wendy.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me" I muttered before I laughed like an idiot "Ok, I'm not one to chicken out... But bros before ho..." Wendy had already stood up, and my words were in vain as I saw myself guided by that alpha scent in the air "Sorry dude, I tried" I muttered to Stan before closing the closet behind me. 

And there she was, her smell on me, her breath coming down the points where my parka touched skin, feeling for the first time the essence of an alpha abusing my perception of free will, or my perception as a fucking individual. 

"How long?" I felt the tremor in her voice, seeking to contain her ability to simply command as much as she wanted from me, denying her words power to subjugate me. 

Quite respectable.

"Six months" her eyes were fixed on the ground, I could see a thousand and one ideas running around like victims of a sudden bombardment of information. 

"How?"

"Odourless pills" she blinked a couple of times, her eyes moving in the darkness of the cupboard, dancing on the little line of light that filtered under the door. 

It was fascinating how so few words were required when talking to your counterpart. All you had to do was breathe in, and you could feel their fears and your own sailing through the air. 

"I can't... tell you who gave me the pills" she smiled. Time was running out. Her gaze finally took on the courage to face mine. 

"I'm an Alpha. Under a perfect model I am supposed to be your complement, your half by nature. We both know that's bullshit, that out there we're not the two halves of a fucking ring waiting to connect. We're enemies, political enemies" she spoke quickly. Her words flowed with the precision of a speech written and rehearsed a thousand times, and the fluidity of a conversation between childhood friends... she was really trying hard not to use her voice. 

"If you know, then why..." her fist slammed against the door, hormones clothed in a savagery I never contemplated in her made my back shrink against my will. 

"I want to help you. Help your kind, save you. This is absurd. Slavery right under our noses Kenny, but freedom is viable, look at you, you're free, you're proof that I can..." 

"Time!" 

From that day on, all I did was avoid Wendy like the fucking plague. I understood her point, but I'd been convinced long enough of the impossibility of her ends. 

* * *

  
  


Third heat.

I don't remember how this little habit of mine really began, the heat tends to completely blind any trace of reasoning, or this vital capacity to correctly structure the events and actions carried out. It was like injecting yourself with a mixture of amnesia, irrationality, and a complete lack of judgment in making life decisions. 

Images ran through my memory as I tried to shape faces or words, but what was certain, what I could remember as if it was something I had done hours ago, were the sensations. 

To feel an alpha below you or above you, in the midst of this seemingly insatiable appetite, was the most overwhelming sensation that could exist. 

Like an oasis in the middle of the desert, I felt drops of icy water trickling down my back in the midst of an endless hell. Caresses that seemed to oscillate between ice chips and drops of thick magma furrowed my naked skin without a trace of touch or empathy, just wild ravings of overwhelming nature. 

Everything was so absorbing between sensations amplified with each breath while aromas that I wanted to never stop feeling rose through my nose until they invaded every thought, memory, emotion, every action, actions focused on tearing, subjugating, penetrating, breaking, biting ... 

The simple memories made my skin bristle, thirst bath my throat and my crotch tremble with desire. 

I'm not the master of self-control, that's for sure. 

I was an easy person, I gave in easily to any potential generator of pleasure and distraction, but I didn't let myself be consumed, and if I did, what difference did it make? The limits of the body were never my concern. 

Perhaps that was precisely what drove me to this state. 

Some people found irresistible an omega without complaints, without rules, without victimization by their status, without a price established by a private entity, without systematization. 

No owner. 

And the suckers thought they could get that place, sometimes in the wrong way, with their shitty marks. I discovered that both these alphas, and I, lacked the slightest interest in anything other than their own complacency, independent of this inherent submission. 

I felt the little choker on my neck, little metal plates lined with leather covering my weak point. The frustration this leather and metal dam caused them was as satisfying as the orgasm itself, or at least close enough. 

I felt a fever creep up my back, climb up the back of my neck and settle on my forehead, it was close... 

I let go of a slight breath, my breath coming out so warm that I felt my lips dry instantly, while thick steam formed in the air as it came into contact with the cold of the night. 

I had taken a thousand and one showers before leaving, and I still felt the moisture from my hair running down my back just after hitting my neck. I had left my coat, I had only one sweater with me, and this fever kept rising like a constant. 

Every scent around me seemed to renew itself with every breath, the sounds, so close, even those that bordered on non-existence seemed to whisper right next to my ear. I didn't even know exactly where I was, but I was far away from anything that could represent a threat to me, and that was enough. 

And I hadn't taken my pill, oh no, there was no fun in that. 

I was just walking around aimlessly, my hormones were probably traceable from miles away, not by a beta; of course not, by an alpha. 

And as if my call had been answered, the sound of an engine resounded in my ear to a bloody inch. The smell of tires against asphalt invaded me, rubber burning in the drift of the curves, this strong scent of gasoline and the insipid cologne of snow overshadowing the dying grass, the leather of the seats, sweat overflowing with hormones intermingled with rich boy's perfume; but more importantly, the scent of an alpha. 

When I noticed it, almost by instinct, my gaze was fixed on the distance, just where the prey of the night should come. 

And this lapse of complete unconsciousness began to burn my reason with every meter of closeness, the sound growing at an alarming speed... 

I slipped my hand along the back of my neck, feeling the cold sweat, the alpha scent was starting to making me crazy, I needed to have him, God, I needed him. 

And in the complete darkness of the road, I managed to visualize the lights of a red Maserati. 

I bit my lip, my breath became heavier with each inhalation, my throat drier with each second, my erection throbbed with simple anxiety. 

He stopped in front of me, opened the door and... 

May I tell you the most fascinating part of all this? 

That it doesn't take a fucking word to get to the point. 

I entered without invitation being greeted with hungry lips and eager hands. I allowed myself to be swallowed up by the beast, only to have my path to freedom torn from its bowels. 

* * *

Fourth heat. 

"Fight. Fight!" The corridors had already been emptied, the murmur of violence ran weakly and sickly, as if drowned out by the resounding of chalk against blackboards, pencils against paper, murmurs against monotony. 

No one heard, no one wanted to hear; no, the sounds, the smells were directed at someone who could feel them. Betas? Let them continue with the grinding of their life being spent against the pages of comfort. 

I stood up, ignoring the teacher's protests, the curious looks. My nose was telling me to run, I hated the fresh-blooded hue ths was filling the air, though, my nostrils had learned to live with the old-blooded one. 

I could hear laughing drowned out by chewing gum, insults, wild and primitive grunts. I could hear water running, drops hitting the ground, some thicker than others, more condensed, tears or filthy water, I could not tell. I could hear clothes tearing, screams drowning against cloth, nails tearing skin, taking pieces with them. 

More importantly, I could smell the familiar scent of an Omega in the middle of a school overflowing with hungry fucking hyenas. I followed the trace, and walked into that place that from that day on I could never even stand. The showers at the gym. 

A thick steam was dancing against the ceiling, in a whitish haze to the grayish tiles. The smell of Omega was disturbed by grotesque obscenities, that line that divided the smell of sex into the nauseating and the libidinous was broken that afternoon. 

I don't know at what point my scarf was wrapped around my fist in some sort of makeshift glove, at what point the first wound was made, the first punch connected, at what point blood began to obscure one of my eyes, at what damned instant the smell of blood and fear appeased my hungry senses. 

The rage that infested my soul like a thousand biblical plagues would not be purged with a thousand or ten thousand cries for forgiveness, nor would the memory of dignity destroyed, the irreversible path to a life of misery and self-hatred ever be able to stop its course on their victim's life. 

_ I breathed.  _

One was unconscious against the tiles, a line of blood ran down from his temple into the drain in the water of an open shower; two had fled, but their scents were archived in that hunting list that my instincts would remind me of every night; three surrounded me in outrage at my display of heroism. 

They were only betas, empty and stupid betas with limited senses, consciences asleep before the discourse of the alphas, beasts hiding in a collective conscience, in the absence of moral individuality. Rational degeneration in its maximum expression. 

_ I breathed.  _

I jumped on the one whose aroma had completely impregnated the omega that was observing the scene from a corner of the showers. The one who had caused the most damage. A hook under his septum made him fall almost immediately, the two at my sides pounced in my direction in clumsy gestures, so slow and insipid. It was not difficult for me to move out of their reach. I took one by the arm, somewhat unbalanced by his failed attempt, drawing him in my direction to punch against his diaphragm, feeling ribs just below my knuckles, my fist sank with satisfactory ease. 

The last one, desperate at the prominent pain, pulled out a knife. I could hear it, I could smell the absence of blood on it, he had never used it on anyone else. He thrust the blade into my side, somewhat clumsily, trembling. The blade was blunt, but the terror-motivated force forced its way into the flesh in a dull, painful way. He could not pull it out again, then staggered backward somewhat disoriented at my lack of reaction, his empty fingers hanging now without purpose.

I was too high on adrenaline to care about a mere puncture. He tried to run away, in one quick step I grabbed his hair and dragged his head against the tiles, smashing him against the wall again and again, and again with a force that was beyond me. Four, five times, his unconscious body left my grip sliding down to the floor in a trickle of blood. 

"Thank you" I heard the distant word, the sound of sirens was heard for miles. No, if the authorities saw her here they would take her... they would take her away. 

And for the first time, I watched her, breathing heavily, heart beating at a devastating pace like a train just meters away from a suicidal man. All the makeup on her face was completely off, her blonde hair was wet, long, clothes torn, her bra hanging down at her sides, her skirt ripped, no underwear... 

She was one of those Raisins girls. What was her name?

"Kenny" I muttered my name. She wiped away a few tears and looked up with renewed strength under a completely destroyed foundation. 

"Mercedes" I bit my lip feeling the coldness in it, numb, I could hardly feel my teeth pressing against the soft flesh; the world was slowly beginning to fade. I threw my anorak in her direction. 

"Did you call the police?" she looked at the coat, taking it with trembling hands to cover herself with it, horror on her face. 

"No. If they see me..." one of the bastards who ran away, maybe... 

"Goddamnit" breathing started to hurt, the slightest divergence of pupils brought on dizziness "You have to get out. They'll be here soon" her black eyes stared at me in surprise. 

"How do you know?" 

"Can't you hear it?" Before I could hear any response, it all faded away. 

I felt her smell as soon as my senses began to awaken. Before opening my eyes I took a deep breath, the room totally bathed in her scent. The essence of that omega was not there, it was non-existent in the present space... as if she had disappeared from reality itself. Among the aromas of violence and sex, I could barely remember it. 

"Why didn't you do anything" I opened my eyes looking at the white ceiling, my side hurt like hell, the wounds waiting for me forced a guttural and painful tone in my voice. But there were more important things to deal with. 

"Kenn..." her voice... her voice sounded pitiful, hardened in repentance, in apologies that were uttered internally towards some kind of divine entity perhaps. Or something, someone who listened, as if an alpha had some kind of entity above them, earthly gods. What god listened to the prayers of an omega? 

Rage came up like bile, burning my esophagus, hitting the walls of my rib cage with a runaway heart, driving a bitter, nauseating taste behind my tongue. 

"Why the fuck didn't you do anything? Didn't you want to save us?" I tried to sit on the unknown bed, I saw her move in my direction from the door. 

"Wait, you still can't..." I pulled away from her touch with sudden disgust. Disgust at everything, and I wasn't even the victim here. 

"Lessen the pain of the alpha ego you have by doing some fucking charity deed. Right?" I watched her, skimping on anger has never been one of my qualities. "So why the hell didn't you fucking do it?"

"Because I couldn't" I let go of a laugh of poisonous irony. My ribs hurt from the strain, the air fluid brought internal pressure to every damn cut, punch; the skin stretched, the wounds opened. 

"You couldn't? The smell swelled up your fucking clit, it didn't stop you from using your fucking brain..." I tried to move to the edge of the bed, I wanted to leave, run away from that smell of alpha, of control. Her hand nailed her claws against my shoulder, I felt her try to control the force of the grip, even though her fingers seemed to dent my collarbone. I forced myself to show no trace of pain. 

"I couldn't!" her words made the windows vibrate. Under the rage that drove my impetuosity, respect, product of hierarchical lines, emerged against my will. 

"Her name was Mercedes, Wendy. And they really honoured the name while riding her. You could have avoided it, saved her the misery of a fucking rape, you could have..." 

"Shut the fuck up!" The grip against my shoulder grew worse, her voice dictated an order, and my psyche had no choice but to obey. I bit my lip in defiance, looking for the slightest divergence of nature to take it, to take advantage of it, to use it in order to get away from her. “I tell you I couldn't..." she released her grip, her voice lost strength, fractured behind her tongue in doubt, in misery. 

We were silent for at least a minute as I looked at the sheets, the window, the place. Wendy's room. How had it got here?

"Speak out, I want to hear your excuses, see if they deserve even a hint of pity" she snorted, took a few steps back towards the window to open it, the air felt suddenly suffocating. 

"If I had come close to that smell I would not have acted much different from... from those damn animals" she muttered, drawing the curtains, tying them with a ribbon on either side of the window with a certain ceremonialism, her back exposed in a gesture of confidence. Her black hair was tied in a high tail, her long neck was exposed with a certain degree of docility. She knew what she was doing. 

"And yet you want to save us..." I saw her shoulders tense. 

"Just as someone with diabetes walks away from candy, someone with cirrhosis from alcohol, someone with lung cancer from a fucking cigarette... I know my limits as an Alpha" I felt the ball of bandages and gauze on my left side, it hurt. 

"You're a selfish bitch looking to redeem your nature through charity for others. Good luck saving those moral standards that get you so worked up" I heard her lips stretch into a soft smile as she breathed in an air of dominance.

"Psychological selfishness. Welcome to fucking reality Kenny. Surely the guilt of ignoring her scent would have been more painful than the stitches sewn into your side, now you have the fucking pleasure of rubbing the ethical high ground that your act of heroism gave you. We can both play the same game" and finally she turned in my direction. Her eyes burned with determination, that alpha will that made them transcend through history, like golden strings running down a long red carpet. The only distinguishable thread among thousands, millions. 

"No Bullshit" 

"Why would I bullshit an Omega? You can smell me, hear me better than anyone in this shithole town." 

What was I getting myself into? 

"Can we get her back?"

"No"

"Fuck!" 

"But we can prevent it from happening again. You can stop it from happening again." 

"How?" her smile grew. The fire in her eyes faded away, leaving behind the metal she was melting, that blue metal she had been forging since the moment she brought me into this room. Shackles... shackles or swords, I couldn't tell. 

"Following my orders." 

* * *

Ninth heat. 

I walked in absolute darkness, I didn't know when I had left that strange city behind, a dreamlike or nightmarish representation of the reality I was already used to facing. Only, this time I had not been alone in it. 

I took a deep breath observing the infinite firmament, a thousand stars parading in the absence of artificial light, I took a deep breath trying to distinguish some familiar scent in the air, some direction to follow, tracking my destiny for this night. I needed to stop thinking.

Only the crackling of a collapsed structure reached my ears, this smell of rotten eggs, blood, and a thousand and one burning things was still stuck in my nose as a memory as fresh as the air I was breathing. 

I took my cell phone, dialed a number I already knew by heart. One, two rings.

"Tell me" the voice was too awake for two or three in the morning. Somewhat agitated even. I guess she had finally decided to let Stan into her heat period.

"You were right, it was dangerous" it felt like a distant reality, to which it suddenly seemed as if I would never return. Not more than a month ago, I sat in the student council room with Wendy, watching the speeches of that teenager from the alternative right, a few minutes before recess ended.

"Cartman?"

"Yes. That group. But I think his chances in it were ruined." 

"What happened?" 

"Not much, a burning mansion and an alpha's body in it” 

Silence. I smiled at her lack of reaction. 

"I'm still waiting for the punchline" 

"No punch line. No kidding" my smile grew at the sigh through the line, her natural ease in accepting the chaos of life. It was one of the most characteristic qualities of anyone who had grown up in South Park. 

"Who was it?" 

"Kyle" 

"Did Cartman have anything to do with it?" 

"Not directly" 

"Witnesses?" 

"No. The house was being evacuated because of a gas leak at the time it happened. Cartman started it." 

"You know there's no impunity for the death of an alpha."

"I know" 

"Somehow they'll find it." 

"Yep." 

"So you have to let it go." 

"Nope." 

"Kenneth" 

"Wendy." 

"Don't do this. Whatever the consequences, you don't have to carry them yourself." 

_ As soon as its weight fell on me we lay on the ground like another rock in the landscape. I felt his breath through the fabric of my suit, the tears, the smell of blood intermingled with that tone I knew as the essence of the cigarette or the alcohol... the smell of libido, of desire, sexual greed, abruptly extinguished, unnatural, and yet so... instinctive.  _

_ "Don't worry, it's okay, we'll be fine," he cried against my chest, tears swallowed up by the cloth. "We are Omegas Ky, we have nothing to lose"  _

"I was calling to warn you, start planning Wendy, because whatever's coming, it's definitely going to require your ability to do it."

_ "I lost something in that room, Kenny. Something big."  _

"Kenn..." 

_ He was shaking, his hands were burying themselves in my cloth, blood stains were forming a strange contemporary work in the fine garment as his fingers were looking for something to hold on to... It was a piece of art in process, a very bizarre and dark piece of art.  _

"One more thing..." 

_ I hugged him, strangely calm even before the prominent flames. We had to move, but I was so used to violence that calculating the time between chaos and action was like counting the cards I still had in hand in a game of Uno. So mundane.  _

“Kyle keeps saying that Cartman will soon wake up” 

“Wake up?” 

“As an alpha” 

“ _ It's his fault. It's all his fault. I knew he was planning something... Why did I get carried away?” _

“Unlikely, but if it's coming from Kyle…” 

_ “I tend to ask that to myself more often than I'd like”  _

“Just keep that in mind. I'll talk to you later” I hung up, turned off my phone. 

Every now and then a lone car would speed down the avenue, a flash in the absolute darkness that left me exposed for a second, exposed to outside eyes, to passing witnesses. I felt my neck, the mark was gone. What had that damn animal done? 

I walked a couple of more steps before a car came up to me at full speed, a red Maserati, it went straight ahead, but the sound of skidding tires reached me, as well as the distinctive smell of its owner. 

I let go a heavy sigh, someone was coming to collect his display of kindness. 

The car moved forward at a significant speed, as if boasting its starting power, and then started to reverse until it found itself at my side. 

I could see it following me out of the corner of my eye, at the speed of my step, making the engine roar from time to time. He did not lower the glass, but I knew that he was smiling, that he was detailing me from inside his car, that he felt the blood on my lips, the tears on my chest, the death on my shoulders; I could feel him inhale the aroma of decay that my figure in the darkness emanated, I knew that he adored it. 

"Will you stop following me like a sick fuck? Or are you gonna say what the fuck you want?" 

The glass came down slowly. The sound of music came out, stray cat blues sounded like a fucking prophecy, some white smoke came out, as well as the falling of an already consumed cigarette against the asphalt. 

"I could do both" I kept walking without looking at him "You look good" I snorted at the air feeling his carmine orbs detailing me more insistently, now without the tinted glass in the middle "You have this…  _ something _ , that makes blood look so good on you" 

"You're a sicko." 

"Said the saint" I stopped in my place. The car stopped next to me. 

"What happened to the mark?" In exchange for the suit and an easy entrance, he had asked me for the name of the woman who had marked me. The mark had disappeared no more than an hour later. 

"What mark?" He smiled at me with his characteristic malice, the wind shook some of his black hair, already somewhat disheveled under the red light inside the car; between the smoke and the lighting, the cabin looked like a door to hell itself. I undid the bloody tie with a tug, the smell of blood had my nostrils numbed. I threw it on the floor, followed by the expensive coat, the shirt. 

He looked at me with amusement. 

"Will you get in?" I walked to the passenger seat, opened the door whose lock I had heard moving seconds before, and entered, hungry for the sin this animal offered me. He came towards me. Icy fingers touched the line of my jaw. Cold came down my neck, did a few somersaults along my collarbone, circled my neck like a rope, and came straight down my spine one vertebrae at a time like slow steps along a long, steep staircase. 

Why did it feel so good to be touched by the right alpha? 

"I've always seen this parallelism between the mark and death" my back was pressed against the glass, his lips let out sighs against my cheekbones, his words gave out a sinister halo “The desired release of that tension which life causes, contained, sustained pleasure, waiting to emerge" I bit my lips extremely anxiously, hands on both sides feeling the leather of the seat, anxious to cut the distance, still too proud to do so. 

"And the mark is an orgasm?" 

"Freedom. Death" I laughed against his lips. Red eyes stripped me with planned restraint. 

"Freedom?"

"You grope with death every day Kenn" 

"And you trade with it every day. Damien. Now, drive or fuck me before I start to question getting into this car" he tilted his head, lips open, ready to take mine, I replied, just a second before he backed away completely. 

"Where are we going?" I muttered, shrinking in my seat. He giggled softly. 

"To atone for sins with more sins"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. The main couple is Kyman, but as the tags say, there will be some kenman (because I love them too). I hope you don't mind the crack ship at the end.


	10. Truths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wuuu. More sex, more kenman. Hope you don't mind, is important for the plot, promise.

I crossed the threshold in this sepulchral silence, I did not bother to say hello. 

For some reason the atmosphere that seemed to suffocate every nook and cranny of this tedious house, every room, took shape when I saw the kitchen light off, the TV off, the absence of the smell of reheated food in the microwave or some box of freshly ordered KFC chicken. 

There were no distant groans from the furtive labors of that woman, or the sobbing lost within walls that seemed to have no beginning or end, not being the cause or effect of anything... like a solitary existence in nothingness that seems to belong nowhere, that would not exist if it were not heard by someone, by me... 

She wouldn't live if it wasn't for me... 

Was that way of thinking too self-centered? Perhaps, but what is the legacy of an Omega, the reason for its breathing? His death seemed to be lost in the numerical record of cattle slaughtered each morning in the slaughterhouse outside the city. 

What could a piece of meat possibly want? The ephemeral pleasure, the care of her child... a child that hopefully would not share the same fate. 

Contrary to that, or to my fortune, I did not exist for her... not in terms of being born, of course. 

I didn't need her breath to justify mine... I wasn't so weak, stupid, insignificant... I wasn't a piece of meat and... 

And yet I couldn't help but laugh at how dissonant my reasoning was with this familiar emptiness in my chest. 

Why was I laughing... why, why... oh, yeah. I had trusted a Jew. 

And another laugh broke the mournful silence of the mourning walls as I closed the door behind me. 

What a bad joke this was, like an uncomfortable comedian on the stage, rotten tomatoes at his feet, and some idiot who did understand every joke laughing from the skirt of the decadent stage... 

I trusted Kyle, an Omega, a soulless New Jersey abortion, a Jew from the fucking sewers of New York's most decaying alley, an Omega pariah of this shitty society, who I would make sure was subjugated to death... 

Hilarious, hilarious... so funny... 

I sat on the couch keeping silent, the joke too far away to even be able to smile... 

And it was funny, I knew this would have to happen at some point, she said it once, no Omega can run forever... 

I knew it would happen, I knew she would be taken away, I knew I would be left alone, that I would have to deal with reality on my own, that I would have to learn not to justify my existence through hers but... but still for some reason, this feeling comparable to the emptiness I felt when I lost my last video game was dancing away as a reminder that I was alone. 

And this rational part of my head was just asking me to wait. It will go away... 

Remember when Kyle destroyed your console? When he decided to interfere with your plan to end the Family Guy plague? Or when he didn't want to invite you to Casa Bonita on his stupid birthday... or when he decided to destroy all your belongings with that bunch of fags... yeah, whatever, it'll go away. 

Beyond that, I felt very little. 

Should it be worse? Maybe I should cry, add a little drama, try to stimulate that distant human side in me with some liquor, maybe then I could regret it. 

I let go of a strong sigh. I felt that I should be a little bit more sensitive here, but there was only this slight hint of rage. Not even big, it was my mistake for trusting after all... 

God, I've matured so much, I'm so great. I smiled at the thought. 

"Poopsikins? What are you doing there in the dark?" my eyebrows rose in sudden surprise. I turned to the feminine figure that could be seen from the kitchen entrance.

"Mom..." 

But I opened my eyes then... something difficult with the sea of sweat running down my face, I was hot, way too hot... 

I looked through the half-closed shades, threads of light leaked lazily, while small fragments of dead skin and dust moved slowly like actors under the infinite focus of a stage with no curtains to close the depressing spectacle... 

I wrinkled my nose in disgust as I tried to move, all my clothes wet with drops that bathed every trace of my skin. I felt sticky, uncomfortable, and as much as I turned off the damn heater and was in no more than a pair of shorts and this skeleton, I couldn't help but feel my skin sticking to every damn surface because of that disgusting moisture. 

I had taken at least five cold showers during the night, not being able to sleep so well. 

I tried to go back to sleep one more time, but every morning someone was knocking and throwing rocks at the fucking window that sounded like they were smashing the fucking glass next to my ear... 

Did I drink too much? What day was today? I had no idea. Maybe the third or fourth?. 

I covered myself completely, but today, whoever the son of a bitch was who didn't want to let me live in peace, was insisting more than usual. 

I let go of a long grunt by taking at least five minutes to sit on the edge of the bed. 

And the motherfucker wouldn't stop.

As soon as I stood up everything seemed to spin for a moment and a pain ran through the right side of my skull like when these evil ass children sink half the head of your favorite doll.

Dizziness and headache. Thanks a lot, fucking life, I definitely needed that. 

I went forward kicking the occasional box and garbage with reluctance, letting out a long sleepy yawn.

Since Sunday I started feeling like a fucking grease ball in a microwave or something. The fever had burned up so many brain cells by this point in me, I couldn't even make decent comparisons anymore. 

Ugh. 

And after walking through half the house made for this point a disaster I stopped in front of the door. I took a deep breath before touching the doorknob, running my hand along the back of my neck to release a long moan of displeasure at the drops that bathed my palm... 

"Kenny, I know it's you," I said without opening it. I heard him snap his tongue through the door. 

"Then open up, you fat fuck" I smiled at the insult... 

I let go of a really long sigh. Quiet. 

"Kyle told me... about your mom..." 

"Great, now half the school knows that what she got as a bitch she got as an omega." I let go of a really ironic chuckle ignoring that empty remnant on my chest. It had subsided faster than I expected, it was still there, but I could live with it. 

"Open up, Eric." 

* * *

And he finally opened the door, after four fucking days. 

And... Geez, the image in front of me remember me of these before and after images of certain drugs. He looked like the after a fucking crack overdose. It must have run in the family. 

"You look..." 

"Yes, yes, like shit, thank you. I have worked very hard to reach this state of physical poverty; maybe I can now enter Nascar or go to marches screaming that the damn immigrants are taking our jobs" I narrowed an annoyed look, but I really couldn't get angry at the weakness in his voice, in his face, figure... anyway, he looked like a hobo. 

"Can I come in?" he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, put his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose and for the first time I could feel it... 

Kyle was right after all. 

"I don't know, can you go to the nearest bridge and jump off?" I nodded humorously. 

"I could, yes, but first let me in." 

"I got the flu or some shit" he said, finally giving way. I went in. 

"And that's why you've been skipping classes" I confirmed, he nodded contemptuously. 

I looked at him sideways and noticed even more insistently as a strange smell came through the room, centred on the upper floors. 

It wasn't sweet... or spicy, that tone that dances in your nose and leaves you with this strange stinging sensation behind the palate that disappeared after a second, so you needed to breathe it in again to keep it up, no. It was bitter, bitter as a very, very strong liquor, coming down a dry, thirsty throat. And the aroma remained, there was no need to breathe in again to get drunk, just one puff and already my chest felt shaky and...

“... And the throat, fuck, can't you hear it? I sound like a fucking paedophile with this voice, I feel like my balls dropped six feet or something because... are you listening?" I turned to him. 

"Why do you think I'm here?" I asked carefully. He arched one of his eyebrows in curiosity, closing the door, and the smell seemed to concentrate. 

"I don't know, are you here to beg for food? Are you here to try the latest release of The elder scrolls because you can't afford it or..." he frowned then, a warning trace bathed those jewels in a faint blue, like two sapphires dipped in thick poison "... Or have you come to ask me not to do anything to Kahl" his teeth gleamed between his lips with this glimmer of empty joy "Because if that's it, you're wasting your time" I let go of my breath turning towards the rest of the house. 

It was a mess. There wasn't a glass thing within reach that wasn't shattered in sight. The paintings had been torn with something sharp, maybe his knife; particularly that one on the furniture, him, his mother... Mount Rushmore on his back. There were boxes of fast food everywhere, it looked like the garbage dump at the mall food plaza, and the occasional bottle of alcohol was lost in the mess, not many really, not as many as I expected. 

"Don't report him" I looked for his look and his smile faded for a second at the feigned surprise. 

"Report him? No way..." 

"You will" he nodded. 

"Not yet" I snorted in tedium at what was going on in his head, or at least a fragment of it "Is not enough" he said as he made his way to the couch "Nope," and he lay down on this rough manners, leaning his exhausted head on the back of the old couch... 

I silently watched as drops of sweat slipped from the back of his neck, down his throat, moving clumsily along his jugular as if they did not know which was the right way, then getting lost in the centre of this hole in the prominent clavicle to finally disappear down his chest, behind the black cloth... 

He had only a skeleton and this pair of black shorts, it was less than twenty degrees centigrade outside, and the heating was not on. It was almost the same going inside. 

I looked around once more... 

How long would there be? How could Kyle have felt this way from so far back? It was absurd. 

"How are you?" I asked, not quite sure what to do. I sat down next to him. He turned in my direction with remaining tedium. 

"I told you, I've got a fever, I've got about half a headache for some reason. Not all of it, just half of it, like 'just the tip' you know... ugh, do you hear my voice?" I nodded, it sounded much more guttural than usual, not bad... just different.

"I'm not talking about that, fatso" he arched his eyebrows in mock surprise. 

"Well, I don't see what else you could..." 

"Were you here when they took her?" and he gave up all expression to leave this white look. There wasn't much in it really, it could almost fall into the category of those boring ones he tended to give to the board in the middle of classes when he lost all interest in the day's lecture or whatever. 

"No, but I don't give a shit," and it seemed real. 

"If you don't give a shit then there's no reason to report Ky..." one of the corners of his lip was raised by my words as they came up, as if he was waiting for that answer.

"Well, don't you think that's a good excuse to bring him down a little bit? The funny thing about all this is that the asshole must feel guilty and all. You know, he usually attacks me directly. That was a low blow, even by his Jewish standards" I arched my incredulous eyebrows as he spoke "But don't tell him I don't give a shit, please, it would ruin the surprise" 

"Surprise?" 

"Surprise" I released air of disbelief. 

"Cartman... I don't know if this sounds absurd and all, but they took your mom. Maybe they'll lock her up until she rots, because she's no longer fit to give birth, probably not to raise..." 

"She's useful for fucking" he said lazily, clean, with obvious displeasure on his face, some sweat on his forehead. And the tone he used, as if he were talking about a simple blow-up doll made my chest twist in complete displeasure. 

"It's your mother Cart..." 

"Which one. the one that instead of a story before bed made me listen to a symphony of moans while someone called her a bitch or..." I clicked my tongue in tedium. 

"No, the one who cleaned, cooked, fulfilled all your stupid whims" he took a deep breath, then stood up. 

"If you leave it would be great, I want to sleep." 

I let go of my breath as I watched him walk away. No use trying to stop him, make him understand the fucking consequences of... of everything. I knew what he was like, I knew he wouldn't give in when he was focused. And I accepted him in such a way... just as he accepted me... in his own way. 

No, the more I thought about it, the less reason I found to be his friend. 

This is when I should just walk out the door and let him be, hopefully he'd get stuck on junk food and die Elvis style or something. But no, of course not. I'm an idiot. 

Maybe it was his smell; maybe it was the fact that right now, as several times in the past, he was completely alone; maybe it was that fantasy we both liked to call 'friendship'; or probably it was the reason for leaving, seeing him one last time before... well, no fucking clue what the reason was, but staying didn't really seem wrong. 

"Nah, I'll stay. Kyle hasn't gone to school either, and I feel like somehow it all went a bit to hell..." 

I had my time counted after all. As usual; but this time there was no pill to lengthen it. You can't touch an Alpha and hide, they'll find you, they'll spend all their resources and... well, I don't think they need too many for me, I wasn't even trying to hide, cause if I did, then Kyle would be on plane sight. They'd find me eventually, so what was the point of going to study when you do it with this dagger in your trachea. 

"As you wish, I'll go to..." 

"Hey, did you have breakfast yet? I can cook if you want" he turned over his shoulder. 

"Can you cook?" I smiled at his surprise. 

"Not really, I've cooked other things though, shouldn't be much different" he let go a long sigh of boredom. 

"Food doesn't get injected you poor fu..." 

"I'll cook" and I stood up to walk towards the kitchen ignoring his stupid comment. 

And my eyebrows arched in surprise as I saw it completely intact... no garbage, no dirty dishes or... 

"I haven't been in here in a while" he spoke behind me as he moved inside, I followed him with the look "I mean, I could cook, but I'm too lazy for that" and he took a seat in a small two-seater dining room parallel to the rest of the room. 

And this imperceptible display of hormones emanating from him, left a trace behind his passing by me, like obscene translucent threads floating in the air, caressing my smell, playing with it to force me to follow him in the name of instinct, chains that tied my reasoning to his movement. 

It was strange, too much. I did not remember an aroma that had such an influence, and he had not yet fully awakened. But the scent seemed to be increasing, it was a time bomb. 

Was it dangerous?

I followed him inside, starting my journey through the cupboard, the fridge, shelves, all overflowing with food, with this curious tendency towards the unhealthy. 

I grabbed a few things. I would make sandwiches or something simple, I didn't have the interest or the concentration to try something more elaborate. 

And I couldn't get the sensations out of my memory, already captured by this stupid nature of seduction. What the hell was I doing staying? I had to go, I didn't want this, nope, definitely not... not again. Again, uh?. 

When was the last time we… I couldn't even remember.

The aroma was running through the walls, ceiling, floor, like a spring of pure, perfumed water gushing from every foundation, running softly and tentatively through the immobile stone as this warm mist left behind trails of desire. I bit my lip feeling hot growing to the rhythm of the aroma that seemed to be unleashed.

Oh, I remember. Almost two years ago, my first heat. He was so unsure, so inexperienced; yet, once he took the control… 

Nope, no no no no no. I have to go... 

And yet I couldn't help but stare at the slices of double cream cheese on the stupid bread, more focused on my sudden body change than on... the sandwich? Yes, sandwich. 

"How... what about your custody? You're not old..." I took a deep breath and forgot for a moment the word sequence "... old enough" 

"Well..." and his voice... holy fuck "... Liane didn't have custody initially, so the deeds to the house aren't in her name either, you know, the Omegas don't have the right to acquire property either. Everything is under my family's signature in Nebraska. It's like she never really existed... " and I didn't want him to stop talking.

It sounded so guttural and slow, little breaths seeping in while a purr slipped out behind certain words like the last drops flowing out of the spout of a bottle of bitter whiskey after pouring a strong drink. His voice was like the sliding of the liquid amber between ice white cubes. 

"Now..." I managed to put together a sandwich with some success... I think "I should go..." 

Come on, Kenn, snap out of it. 

He was quiet as I moved around the kitchen looking for a plate or something. 

His breathing increased his heaviness and his gaze seemed to burn against the back of my neck. I was afraid to look at him, because I didn't really know what that action would involve. 

No no no no. You've made some really mediocre decisions in your life Kenny, don't add one more to the list... it's already too long, too long. 

God. But it wouldn't be the first time, right? 

I left everything in place and started my way back to the living room. 

"I hope you recover..." and in movements that not even my developed ear could foresee I felt its touch bathing my wrist. It burned like hell. 

"Wait" I clicked my tongue in annoyance as I stared at the door, my goal... my fucking goal. 

Get out of here, run.

Why did I go in the first place anyway? Was I an idiot? Yeah, most likely... but I was outnumbered today. Thank you dear sense of danger, you have failed me once again.

"I made you a fucking sandwich, don't..." I turned in his direction in tedium and my voice seemed to get stuck in his white expression... staring at me, pupils lost in this diffuse tone in the dim lighting of the room. A translucent spring in the middle of a summer day, its reflection the incessant battle between this surrounding celestial vault of paradisiacal shades, and the nothingness behind the curtain of diaphanous water, a grey, like that of clear rocks in the sun... 

They seemed to have no pupil, the spring had greedily swallowed them up by that delicious trail of perdition. 

"Your heart..." he spoke, and as if something had struck my barriers to the point of reducing them to ruins, those that make me different from a damned animal, I let myself be consumed by his smell without any resistance. 

I felt out of nowhere completely exposed, in the eye of a damned tornado, whose winds must have been felt for miles. 

Wendy... Kyle, it probably even reached them. And I was standing here in front of him... 

"I can hear it..." and I felt it, God... it hurt. 

His smile grew curious, the fingers that grabbed my wrist groped my skin, moving under the sleeve of the orange anorak, feeling the skin and... 

"Faster... incredible. Like drums..." and he cut the distance. I felt my chest jump painfully and he let out a soft laugh in response, like a purr. My spine reacted almost immediately, provoking this trail of ephemeral pleasure at that simple sound. 

No, no, no, no, no... 

Run for God's sake! It's Cartman! Cartman! 

"I have to... go..." and he inhaled into nothingness, closing his eyes, lifting his face as if trying to catch something in the air. I tried to let go of his grip... I really tried, but out of nowhere I felt thirsty, that little touch partially filling my need and... How can you give up a few drops of water when you feel like you're in the desert? "Cart..." 

Before being able to finish the name, my back tensed before the sudden pain of being smashed against the nearest wall, and as soon as I opened my eyes after closing them instinctively on impact, his gaze was completely absorbed in the absence of reasoning, and the pupil that the spring had kidnapped, thirsty, began its resurgence, swallowing with it all the reflection of the sky above it... 

He slid his tongue along his previously dry lips as his hands rose to my neck. He breathed in once more, increasing the closeness between the two, the heat he radiated as well as his scent gradually silencing the warnings in my head. 

It was too late to flee. 

Oh, dear. Here we go again. 

He buried his nose against my neck, inhaling once more, my essence stuck in my coat as usual, too imperceptible for a beta or an alpha far enough away... And there he was, getting drunk on it like a child who simply doesn't seem to get tired of his favorite treat. 

"New lotion?" he asked against my complexion, speaking this still rational side of his head, and I was surprised by that. He still had some degree of control “Didn't know you could afford one” Yes, he was the same moherfucker as always. 

I was already giving it up completely. 

Wetness washed over my neck then, his tongue running thirsty over my complexion as his hands climbed into my arms, fingers painfully burying themselves. 

"Fuck you" I murmured against his still wet hair from some recent shower, the shade of shampoo interspersed with his natural essence. He laughed softly against my collarbone, taking a gentle bite out of the protruding skin, feeling what must have seemed to him like a really delicious candy. 

And he looked up once more, took a step back and turned towards the door. Then in my direction... dilated pupils, his mask of 'I'm in control of my dick' fragmenting. 

"Go" he commanded in a final flash of human will... but it wasn't convincing enough, because I didn't really feel the need to obey him. 

Amazing, it was the first time I'd ever seen an alpha say no, or at least trying to, to... to me. 

I smiled, not managing to hide the nervousness in my face. 

"Well... I would; believe me, I really would but..." I looked down at my already completely hard, wet, needy... 

God! What the hell was wrong with me?! 

His gaze followed mine and I turned to him, if his pupil hadn't consumed some of his iris by this point, then it finished absorbing them right there. 

"What a shame, I'll have to fuck you then" he spoke in an already merely animalistic tone “Again” His last trace of consciousness had left him, dragging with it mine. 

Or so I thought. 

And this cloth as delicate as a virgin's hymen gave way. Blood, the perfect metaphor for our desire, flowed obscenely over us. 

Before I could even take a breath, teeth closed around my lower lip. I took off my coat at the extreme heat that approached me, while savoring the metallic tones that flowed between our tongues, from the tearing of desperate lips. 

His fingers came down to my hips like paws tearing the fur of his prey. 

He then lifted me up, as if in his hands there were a damned doll, the kind you can take and dismember without any remorse... 

My legs surrounded his waist, my hands his neck and our needs met each other, damned cloth that seemed to start burning at any moment interfering. 

He moved me to the cold white granite counter, leaning against it, he circled my hips to bring me closer to his pelvis, my feet touched the ground, and as soon as they did, he turned me once more as if I were a simple object, as manageable as a feather. 

His fingers sank into my hair, pressing my head against the wall, while the ledge of the counter forced my spine to bend towards him. 

"I don't have much patience right now so..." his breath came down the back of my neck as I felt his hair accompanying it smoothly, he leaned his front against my back, while his free hand groped the edge of my jeans. 

"Mercilessly, just the way you like it" I managed to speak without disguising the desired anticipation in my tone, pushing myself towards him, seeking to feel him close to my entrance despite the damned fabric, being rewarded with an anxious erection. "Como on, dude" and this soft laughter proper to him brushed my neck again next to the warm tip of his nose that once again sought to suck my essence. 

The little control that his hand had kept was lost, pulling down the cloth that separated us jealously from our soon contact. 

And I felt him press against me. My throat, tongue, lips dried up almost immediately in this absurd thirst; and without lubrication, or presentation, or ritual, or predisposition, he sank from a lunge, prompting a scream that I felt tearing my voice apart, crashing into the cold tiles of the kitchen wall, misting up even the smallest tile of a boring fruit design in shame. 

But who the hell cared about the fucking tiles when I had just had my ass ripped in half? 

Jesus! 

I buried my fingers in the nearest surface as if I could tear it, biting my tongue trying to equal the pain that had run down my whole damn spine, a dagger sinking mercilessly into my spine... 

"Amazing" I heard him growl, and he recoiled without waiting for me to get used to it, without even a little hesitation from the whimpering that left my lips gasping. 

Tears formed at the base of my eyelids in the second lunge. 

It hurt, it hurt too much, and even when its aroma danced like an intoxicating drug on the back of my palate, the torment overcame any kind of pleasure. 

Fingers embedded in my hair pulled on it to force me to lift my face, to bring it in its direction. His tongue then ran over the tears that slid down the sides of my face, leaving behind it a trail of fire that I felt sending currents of greater desire all over my cursed pelvis. 

"Yummy" he muttered.

Perhaps it was in the sixth or seventh slash that the pain lost its terrible implications as his saliva intermingled with my tears, as his cock bathed in my fluids of pain, as his hand tore my damn T-shirt in one piece, leaving burns on my skin from the roughly torn cloth. 

And never, in what I had touched complexion, tasted lips, savored essences, drank fluids of desire and vileness... in what I had experienced, torn, desecrated... I had never felt such despair, such a need to simply disappear into thin air amidst this infernal chore of simple and plain carnal pleasure. 

More pain, I wanted more pain, pain parallel to pleasure; and the non-existence of moral lines, the non-existence of soft words, of feelings, of bonds... the non-existence of nothing but bodies immersed in sweat and other people's skin made it simply impossible to discern limits... 

His teeth were buried in my shoulder as if he wanted to tear skin, hands were running down my hips forcing me to lift them against his cock, looking for a deeper point, deeper inside. Wild onslaughts were deepening as if opening a way through really narrow flesh. 

I bit my lower lip, buried my fingernails between boring tiles and felt tears running down my cheeks at the torment. My senses were right now submerged in this abysmal penumbra, this essence of bitter chocolate, alcohol, salt, skin, sex... so strong, it was so strong that it rose through my smell and danced to its pleasure through my psyche destroying any trace of reason, declaring itself master and lord of the most minimal thought that dared to burst its sapphire eyes into my neck... 

In front of me I saw nothing but gloom, a fog that could only dissipate with its damned member inside me. 

"More... it hurts, I want it to hurt... more..." and it seemed insufficient, it wasn't enough... no, God, I wanted him to tear me apart... 

I felt him laugh at the back of my neck in response, satisfied, completely satisfied. 

His fingers pressed so hard on my pelvis that I felt my bones resent, his nails tearing skin, his hair brushing against my neck while drops of sweat slipped down his honey-colored threads until they fell against my back... running for a thousand and one marks, traces of a thousand and one lovers... and yet he seemed to have the power to erase them all with a simple thrust. 

For the first time, for the first time I felt that someone had the right to call me his own. 

He moved away to turn me over in one rough motion, lifting me up to sit on the counter, this brutal force guiding his action, as if he could lift my whole weight with his fingertip. 

He slid his hands along my bare chest, 'caressing' would not be the word, tearing my skin in this strong touch, leaving marks behind. 

And his gaze... Jesus, his gaze. Eyes completely absorbed by the abyss of ecstasy, dilated pupils drowning the sky of his gaze, like a solar eclipse, a beautiful summer day being immersed in this almost apocalyptic black... 

The beast inside him seemed to vibrate from his half-open, gasping lips, his skin burning. And he dragged me towards him forcing my back to bend to raise my hips to his height. 

His cock, once more incrusted with a painful brutality inside me, tearing mercilessly, seemed to overflow with magma. 

The heat, the torment sent streams of stinging ecstasy along every damn fiber of my body, forcing almost immediately my orgasm, sperm bathing our stomachs and an almost thirsty smile running down his lips. 

He came out of me, still completely erect and moved me upwards to have my abdomen within reach of his face, soon his tongue ran through the white salty drops and my whole body shook almost immediately, his scent, his essence, heat, pain... god, so many factors, so many words, so much moisture intermingled with so many obscenities... I was back in action, I wanted more, I didn't want to stop, I didn't want this to come to an end. 

His teeth were stuck in my flesh then, this whitish trace in the corner of his lips by my sperm, his tongue cleaning it in an almost feline movement while he continued to drink thirsty of the seed I had produced. 

"God..." I muttered. 

I felt my insides still throbbing from missing him, missing something to fill me up, missing him. Probably bleeding wounds still left these remnant traces of torture... he had come in from a thrust, even I couldn't take it all and yet... and yet I wanted to feel him again. 

"I'd prefer Cartman, although if you want to call me that..." he murmured against my stomach quite amusingly.

He took a few steps back then and I looked at him curiously, somewhat hurt by the distance. 

"Kneel, and suck my balls" he commanded, barely keeping his composure, moving his gaze between my eyes and his dick to give shape to his estate. I smiled out of the blue thirsty... again. 

"As you wish" and I knelt before him after sliding out of the inn. Something I often did, not always with pleasure, and never with these desires. 

He moved his member against my lips, my chest went up and down in exhaustion.

And I took him eagerly in my hands, this almost animal part of me wanting to tear it off in one bite, or drink from it to my heart's content. 

His fingers then buried themselves in my hair forcing me to swallow the whole length of a push, I contained the nausea stimuli feeling it go down my throat so deep, so deep that it was impossible to breathe. 

It went away just long enough to ram again, and my dick was already overflowing with blood once more. 

And again, and again, and again... I felt like I was drowning, going too fast to take in air but that came into the background as pre-seminal drops lubricated my mouth with each sway, leaving a salty trail behind, rising to my head like moonshine shots. 

His grunts of pleasure sounded far away, his voice was too guttural right now to fall into the moaning category. 

And he moved away. 

I took a deep breathe trying to catch my breath, and his hand forced me to raise my eyes in his direction, wiping with his thumb a trail of saliva that slid from my mouth, now slightly swollen from activity, to my jaw, somewhat whitish from his sperm. 

He licked his lips again. 

"Where do you want me to cum?" he asked, not hiding his fascination with the view, like steam steaming up those black pupils in insatiable desire. 

And that seemed like the most damned difficult question of my existence. God, I wanted him to cum in my mouth, inside me, chest, back... fuck. 

He bit his lip at the hesitation of my face, the hand that held my hair going to his erection, starting this swaying with his hand, fast... 

My gaze moved towards his activity but the one on my chin forced me to raise it. 

"Look at me" and I obeyed as his thumb was inserted between my lips, I bit him moving my own hands to my member. I wanted him, everything... "I need to know something" he spoke, like an ecstasy addict trying to regain control over his actions... strange, very strange. I had never... "Where do you get the odorless pills? Mom stop giving you these pills months ago" he touched my tongue with his thumb, bringing his member to my lips. "Do you want it?" I nodded in despair. He smiled, "Answer me." 

What did he ask? Something about pills... pills, pills... 

"I make them." 

"Good boy" he smiled then, and my chest blossomed in satisfaction as a result. "Where do you keep them?" I looked down at his erection once more willingly and his thumb and forefinger pressed my jaw painfully. 

Everything around me was completely meaningless, his words seemed to give reason to my existence, and my thirst for his seed a justification to the beating of my heart. 

"Where" he asked, and I knew that he could not resist much longer without putting it to my lips; I knew that he needed it as much as I did, and yet he had the nerve to ask in such a situation.

"Wendy hides them in this old bomb vault of..." and his smile expanded again, forcing a relieved curve into me too, pleased to please him... 

What was wrong with me? I've never felt this way before, not out of my heat, and here I was... 

"Wendy, huh? Good boy" he closed his eyes letting out a grunt of pleasure, he was about to cum and... "Tongue" 

I followed his order, extending it towards him, his thumb still touching my lips. 

Soon the salty and thick substance bathed it like white paint running down a carmine canvas, something overflowing at the sides of my lips, dancing obscenely with saliva, covering his fingers and going down my throat, leaving behind this bitterness typical of his essence, as if I drank it and, suddenly, I felt addicted to it. 

He then knelt down at my height and covered my lips. I closed my eyes enjoying his tongue, moving over mine looking to share the object of my downfall... 

He got separated enough to talk. 

"I still have some questions left" I looked down at his dick, rising once again from the ashes of recent sex “Ready to answer them?” 

Goddamn... blessed alphas' heat. 

"Damn it. Yes, please" he let out a gentle laugh, returning to my lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you it was important for the plot. Muajajaja.


	11. Fall

" _ I was calling to warn you, start planning Wendy, because whatever's coming, it's definitely going to require your ability to do it. _ "

Stan slept next to me; the smell of sex hung in the air, the barriers that every virgin teenager fears to break down lay destroyed between sheets and semen. Poetic, Uh?. 

Start planning, start planning. I watched the man whose unconditional love appeased my misfortunes, feeling my chest shrink in deep contempt for my own nature; after all, my hormones seemed to reject the simplicity of a beta, to desire the sex of an omega... but my heart was with him, my soul was with Stan. My body was not. 

I got out of bed with caution, that call from Kenny had marked a turning point in this night that was supposed to be happy, we would have the whole weekend after all, Mom would be on a business trip, and Dad would be her coat rack with gonads. Goddamn it... 

I looked for a hoodie, a coat and sneakers. I grabbed my helmet and walked out into the street, letting out a breath of steam through my lips. 

Start planning, he said. I hated to start planning without a ground on which to evaluate decisive factors; I was in the dark. 

I took my bike, just walked it a couple of feet before starting it up, didn't want the engine to wake Stan up. And after no more than fifteen minutes on the road I was in front of that decaying and forgotten structure, the McCormick’s house. I got off my motorcycle and rode around the house until I found the familiar window. I knocked three times, and five minutes later the window went up. The old house had woken up, from its bowels came a little girl who had grown up in it. 

"Hey, Karen" she smiled in my direction returning to the darkness of her room. She returned wrapped in Kenny's old anorak, and I saw her sneak a small pack of cigarettes into her pockets, a habit I had heard she had acquired at least two years before. No one in her family seemed to mind that a thirteen-year-old girl smoked. 

"We need to move some heavy stuff tonight" she returned inside after my words. She didn't talk much, quite similar to her brother in that way, and I appreciated that. She emerged from the darkness with her hood up, tinkling the keys to her father's pickup, smiling in childish victory. I smiled contentedly. 

We opened the garage, turned on the light, and in front of us stood a renovated meth lab. Well, formerly a meth lab. The previous tenants had left their instruments; it was enough to clean them up, we spent weeks on that alone. 

"What are we going to move?" and a few more months to synthesize a functional pill. 

"Everything" to destroy it in one night. 

I silently watched the three containers overflowing with our main raw material, the active ingredient that gave the pills the quality of being odourless. It was not difficult to obtain, as it was a common raw material in the manufacture of various drugs related to hormone treatments; it was an extremely abundant compound, over which, unfortunately, there was a certain degree of government control. 

Kenny had managed to get hold of four containers a few weeks earlier, after making his usual deals with various traffickers, one in particular rather disturbing, who although he didn't seem interested in using odourless pills, was smuggling omegas. 

One of the containers was sold to an interested party, Billy Miller. I didn't know what he was doing with that material; but I had more important things to worry about now. Not all the costs could be met by Kenny's incredible skills at... fucking. 

There were other components, extractable from drugs that were easily available in a drug store. 

_ Like baking cookies, small, white, illegal cookies.  _

Kenn once said. 

Karen took care of the little things, I took care of the big ones. In a matter of two hours, there was nothing left but broken glass, dust and unknown liquids. The larger items, such as the oven and the refrigerator, ended up in the dumpster not far from the garage. The glassware rested in the back of the truck, next to the four containers, now almost empty, and the rest of the raw materials. 

We got into the truck, Karen was driving, I had no idea how to drive this thing... 

"Why are we doing this?" she finally asked. She didn't usually ask. 

"Protocols" Karen let go of a heavy sigh curling up in her seat. 

"I'm thirteen, but I'm not stupid, Kenny's secrecy is enough for me" I smiled as I watched the tone of the sky begin to clear, even though the sun wasn't close by. I had to get back to Stan soon. 

"Bad things are gonna happen"

"To my brother?" I bit my lip at the concern in her voice. I couldn't turn to look at her. 

"To all of us" I heard the hood rise over her head as she mumbled a tiny curse. She was too much like her brother. 

* * *

What did I do? asked the victim after savoring the victimizer state, after covering his reason, his actions, with that fog of perdition. 

“... Liane Cartman" and by the time I hung up, once again, the fog had dissipated amidst the consequences I wanted to force. 

I hated him, I hated him so much, to the point of letting that fragment of time, where unconsciousness guided my actions, take shape. 

I put the phone aside then, and closed my eyes waiting for his insults, perhaps he would take me out of the car, or call to report me at that very moment... 

Instead the sound of pills against plastic forced my eyelids to rise, and everything took on this more than twisted meaning as I saw my medicine between his fingers. Oh, that motherfucker. 

He rolled the cap, taking them all out except for two. He waved them in his hand and... and threw them out the window... 

I closed my eyes to hear them sounding against the pavement, one, two, three, four... ten... were necessary to make me wake up from my lethargy, to make my hatred resurface like an active volcano.

And I opened them again to find the jar with only two pills in it in front of me. 

"I guess it was fun, spreading hormones like a slut. Being taken into a bedroom like one, being touched like one... being abused like one..." his words, made my chest squirm in complete disgust. I just curled up in my place formulating to get out of the car, maybe throw myself out, I could walk back to Denver and... and go away. Just away, "So I guess you don't need the pills, right?" 

He had them, he knew what would happen... he knew I'd need them, that they'd notice, that they'd track me down, take me, abuse me... 

He knew, he knew and... 

And tears flowed once more, and no matter how much I huddled against my own body, against the leather of the seats, the sensations like fire in skin did not go away, and the consequences that this would have had were embedded in my mind like poisonous daggers... 

"You have no idea how much I hate you right now," I muttered. Usually he'd laugh, throw some snort or insult into the air but... 

"I will make you hate me even more. Just wait." 

_ "Don't worry, okay?. I will not let them take you Kyle, everything will be fine... do you hear me? Fine" said Kenny right before he disappeared that night. _

I couldn't look beyond the dense scrolls of steam coming from my lips, I didn't want to look beyond them. I felt the almost empty jar in my pocket while raising my eyes to the gray sky, it would probably snow all day or something and... a dying snowflake against my face prompted a long sigh out of my lips. I took the jar of pills out of my pocket, lifted it up to the height of my face and shook the only two inside without stopping my step. 

When had I taken the last one? I didn't remember but... but I should have taken the next one already. 

And it was funny, because every time I tried to put it between my lips this question would come up from a thousand different places. What's the point? 

I let my next blink pause for a few more seconds, trying to remember the sound of pills hitting the pavement, hatred boiling through my being like a magic formula, and I turned in the direction of Cartman's house. It was Monday, his mother had been taken away and... 

And I looked back at the pills while my chest shrank at the fact. She was not to blame for giving birth to such a detestable specimen, I could think all morning about the reasons why my actions involved an obvious moral decline on my part but... but the anger at his lack of reaction came to disgust me a thousand times more than my own actions. 

Did I hate him that much? What was wrong with me? 

I continued straight ahead visualizing the bus stop further down the street. I forced myself to take a pill. 

It felt so wrong to take those pills to escape from something I had condemned someone else to. How disgusting. 

I threw the remaining pill in the air a couple of times, catching it with my hand in its fall; on the third or fourth throw, I flexed my arm and propelled it into that area of dense trees in the distance. I saw the little jar get lost in the thick forest. 

There was no point after all. 

I looked at the stop, felt the weight of my bag, and the uselessness of a diploma; even the knowledge was not useful, I had already advanced several subjects, I was beginning to see university level stuff without the help of professors or classes. A paper validating knowledge had no reason to be in the hands of an Omega, so bureaucracy didn't seem to be a valid argument for going to high school either. 

So I walked away, grateful that no one had arrived yet. 

Headphones in place, instrumental music playing. I walked for... I don't know, but each step instigated a new thought in my head, one more and more mortifying than the last, bathed in memories, embellished with unpleasant feelings. 

I felt sick and rotten. I couldn't change after all, and running away was somewhat ridiculous. I had nothing else to do, so I just swerved in the direction of the municipal library. 

I was afraid, I had to admit... I am human, one who believed to exist in a context of 'full' freedom, freedom that could be reduced to nothing by dialing a number. I was afraid, yes, but this absurd emptiness that drowned my conscience in indifference was a thousand times greater. 

_ Come and get me, I don't give a shit what you do to me. _

I thought, and knew I would regret such a thought, but as humans we are, we know we will regret many of the acts committed in our lifetime, and yet we carry them out. 

* * *

Tuesday. 

I went ahead and ignored the stop once more. 

I didn't mind if that became a routine really. 

I walked to the central library. I was there for at least the first part of the cut, reading between the economics and political science sections. Sitting on the floor with at least three small rows of books around me. Even if I couldn't do much, building a complete perspective on the system that seemed to box us in was the only thing I could do... 

Nothing else, I couldn't do much else. 

I don't know at what time, maybe between twelve or one a message came... among others, there were at least twenty from Stan, I didn't have the courage to respond. 

Somehow I felt that that weekend had generated some kind of rupture between my daily life and my reality, the first being a false perception of security; and the second, the context in which I had become so tanned that I felt sick of everything.

Stan was like... this aspect of my constant daily life, perhaps real and... I had to admit that it hurt to look at him, to contemplate his face from this dirty and desecrated glass that had been raised before me since Saturday. It was unbearable. 

I took my cell phone. Kenny.

" _ Where are you? I'm at the library _ " I smiled as I saw in his message my predictability. I sighed writing back. 

"Second floor, back shelves to the left, where the econometrics and political labels are." 

" _ That hole abandoned by God? _ " 

"The same" and I saved my cell phone to continue the reading. 

I read that last paragraph in record time before a paper ball hit my forehead. 

"Hey, nerd" I looked up, not hiding my tedium, finding the only constant between my daily life and reality. Quite comforting, I had to admit. 

I detailed his growing smile, the school bag on his shoulders. 

"Hey..." I looked for some kind of friendly insult but... there was no good one coming. "Kenny" he put his bag aside, took a seat in front of me and crossed his legs on the floor, then looked at me, at the little clutter of books around me. 

"What are you reading?" I followed his gaze. 

"A lot of things" he snorted.

"I see that" and I turned to him. 

"Were you in school?" he nodded... 

"Go ahead, ask" he said, reading the uncertainty on my face.

"Has Stan..." 

"He asked for you, yes. He seems worried" I nodded with concern, of course he would "It's the second day you've missed... why?" 

"I need to… think. And about... about Cartman..." his eyebrows lowered briefly, this strange glimpse of something crossed his eyes too quickly to even be distinguishable from the rest of his selfless features. 

"He didn't show up either" he took a deep breath "I have no idea why, though. I went to his house yesterday and today to knock on his door, Liane didn't open. You know?. Maybe they went on a trip? And the fucker doesn't even answer the phone or anything.." he wandered off without taking his eyes off the small mountain of books. 

"Why do you care?" I asked with real curiosity, ignoring this little guilt trip, not for Cartman, but for Liane. He looked at me. 

"Well, apparently I'm his only friend, remember?" I looked back reticently. He let out a gentle chuckle "And because I had a project with him for Friday, with the biology bitch... but I guess I won't be around for Friday, so, I just wanted to give him a heads-up and that, nothing really important. I also wanted to thank him for helping me get you out of that house." 

"What?" 

"You know, the gas thing, he did it... I think. I haven't seen him since then, so..." he shrugged. "... So I haven't had a chance to talk about certain issues with him either. I guess it doesn't really matter now" I couldn't help but frown on it. What a fucking joke that asshole was... and how exhausting it was to try to read through his acts. 

"I went back with him that night. He knew some alpha was coming for me, he wished me luck... I fell into his trap like... I don't really know. I was angry and frustrated, I felt useless and helpless... and the son of a bitch was just smiling so... so I reported Liane... 

"What?” 

"She was an Omega... she had her hormone-producing glands removed and... anyway, I guess she did it all to be with Cartman and I... I blew it, because I could, because in the middle of all that shit it was the only thing I could do, even if it was bad, it was something and... and I wanted him to suffer. I actually planned to report myself but, you know, nothing would come of doing that, not from him..." he listened, and continued in silence for a couple more minutes. 

I didn't feel like I had much more to say. I looked at him, trying to distinguish between the complete emptiness of his expression and some kind of... I don't know, anger, I don't know. 

"I see..." he reached into his pockets, his ever-present pack of cigarettes. I followed his movements statically in my place. Would he just say that? 

He took one of the cigars and reached for his lighter, within seconds he was breathing nicotine. No one would protest, not many came to this area, it was obvious from the general ignorance of our precious little town, that the literature of econometric and political studies was not of interest to them, much less that which did not contain tabloidism or a language proper of primary school students... 

"You can't smoke in the lib..."

"And you can't ruin someone's life on a simple whim of the moment, but hey, we're just currency, right? An omega in exchange for the false sense of revenge, or whatever the fuck you wanted to get. Was it worth it?" he spat with overflowing sorrow and I felt my chest finally appeal to the guilt I had tried to ignore for so many days. 

"No" I murmured without much more to say. I closed the book I still had in my hands and put it aside. He smiled wryly, as if it were only a mean to hide the growing anger behind his expression. 

"I thought so. Do you know what it means to be recruited after you lose your ability to reproduce, to breed?" I listened silently, staring at the floor "She's an omega whose two main tasks have been removed. What do you think will happen to her? I have to tell you that the operation is a bigger affront than fucking pills... it's a permanent thing, a hard decision Kyle, that involves giving up too many things, like fulfilling a function in this shitty system... being functional" as he spoke the pressure on my chest increased, running up my spine to this painful place between my eyes... 

"What will happen to her?" I asked, not wanting to hear the answer, whatever it was, it was almost entirely my fault... my responsibility. 

"I don't know, but surely nothing good..." he finished the cigarette almost as quickly as he took it out, put the cigarette butts in the box and returned it to his pocket. He stood up. "I gotta shit to do. Goodbye Ky" and after saying that and taking his bag he walked away in long, heavy steps through the unoccupied corridors... 

I formulated to follow him, try to reconcile his anger with... I don't know. But it would only be a way to make me feel better about myself. He was angry, and he had every reason to be. There was nothing I could do about it. 

* * *

Wednesday. 

I didn't see Kenny... he didn't look for me, he didn't write any messages, he didn't go to school according to Stan's messages, neither did Cartman. 

I don't know what time it was, I was at the library, as far away from the suburbs as one could get... and yet, even here such a scent came, so familiar and conflicting, like a death sentence running down the streets until it reached the victim... me. 

It was like a shot of absinthe, running down my throat, going up to my head in a dizzying discharge that went down my eyebrows making everything around me lose complete north or south, in a second I forgot where the sun was rising from, in the next second my conception of control vanished like the thick bars of a forgotten cage, whose already rusty locks seemed no more than a dying symbolism of control... of prison. 

The book I was holding slipped from my hands, and my gaze traveled in the direction from which the aroma seemed to come, a wolf raising its elongated muzzle into the air without losing this grace characteristic of its erect column, wet nose and panting jaws pointing towards the creature of its desire... 

Cartman. 

In a dying moment of control I raised my scarf and crawled as far as I could to one of the shelves. I huddled against my body, trying to breathe in the aroma of my coat, a perfume I had recently started to use as an attempt to hide that disgusting smell of mine... but it felt so filthy and vomitful, so artificial and unpleasant that nausea rose up through my throat. 

I buried my fingers against my arms, I closed my eyes as hard as I could, feeling a fever rising at an alarming speed through my body, my throat drying up in instants, my tongue feeling like a millenary desert after an infinite sandstorm... 

I needed to drink from him. God, I needed... 

And I curled up with greater insistence in my position, my surroundings losing any trace of meaning, any little drop of reality... as if the world had been reduced to aromas, sensations, desires... 

Why did it feel so strong? I had smelled a thousand and one alphas at that party. Even though none of them were in heat, they hadn't had a tenth of the effect this one seemed to have on me. 

And I knew he would wake up, and among this abhorrent desire played fear, terror. He would hunt me down, I knew it so well ... so well, but then there was this other part, that only responded to aromas, that only responded to instincts and ... empty sex, that part seemed fascinated with the fact. 

_ It was about motherfucking time.  _

This was dangerous, and yet the pressure that pulsed painfully between my legs seemed to desire such danger. 

I took a deep breath and released my grip to start crawling in the opposite direction to the smell, trying to focus my nose on the scent of old books, the dust on shelves, the corroded wood in the middle of recently lacquered and painted structures, the thousand and one products used for the floor in the last five days at least, the strawberry and chocolate candies on the table of that boring librarian on the first floor, the ink of the worn and archaic stamp he used for book lending and... 

And the thick shade of cocoa on fire, like seeds recently reduced to powder, no sweet tone in between, rustic and wild, bathed in pure alcohol, so absurdly strong that it almost caused nausea just by inhaling it, vodka, absinthe... not even the moonshine seemed to rival the drunkenness and dizziness that arouses such an obscene and procazed essence, a mockery of anyone's dignity. 

I hated it so much. I hated it... God, I wanted to bury my fingers in his damned throat, sink them into these sensitive areas between his jugular and trachea, and press, press hard, until I saw it sticking out through his skin, until I felt the impossibility of his throat to breathe... I wanted to eradicate his irreverent breath of disgusting life, I wanted to suffocate with my hands his arrogant palpitation, I wanted simply... 

And before I even realized it, my back was already against the ground, arched against dusty wood, wood being torn by my anxious fingers. I needed something so desperately, and I was so afraid to even give a name to my need, because to do so would imply making something of it, something of importance, and this was of no importance at all, it was stupid and insignificant, simple reflexes of reproductive organs that temporarily affected our states of consciousness in pursuit of such an animal and basic instinct as reproduction. 

I would never carry out such unpleasant acts in a state of complete control, and therefore they were meaningless, lacking a rational cause. 

I was a rational being, every decision and act taken outside that circle of reason was therefore empty and non-existent for my perception of morality and dignity, and all those conceptions of reality that made me an 'emotionally logical' being. Because just as the morality of a couple of animals fighting each other to death to fuck the female was not condemned, why should I question myself, then, in the midst of such a decadent state? 

I smiled in the air, reconciling my current state with my actions. It didn't matter, did it? 

And silencing any voice of reason, a consequence more of my animal desire than of all that nonsensical talk, I slipped my hand in the direction of my zone of need. I wanted to run, hunt down such a delicious scent and drink from its source until I was sick of it, as sick as I knew I would never get. 

But no, I couldn't, it was Cartman, and as exorbitant as my conscience was, it was impossible for my psyche to accept such degrading subjugation. Yet I was not to go near him neither, if I went too close, like a raging fire, I knew I would burn in complete perdition. 

This would be enough for me. 

_ For now.  _

My fingers tentatively felt the lower part of my pelvis. The world, the possibility of someone coming up, coming to this area had got completely stuck in the reality that right now was worthless to me. 

I bit my lips thirsty, running my tongue through them because of the sudden dryness, and my hand reached out to my cock among the cumbersome cloth while the other desperately ripped the wood. 

I closed my eyes; and, almost immediately, like those images of possible death that come to your head in situations of mortal danger, images of someone else's hands bathing my complexion suffocated my last barriers. I surrounded my intimacy in anxious fingers, surprised shortly by the already overflowing wetness running through my underwear, down the glans to cover the palm of my hand. 

I distributed the thick substance around my dick to lubricate it, turning my hand to my lips to slide my tongue between fingers, dip it in saliva and return it to my member too engrossed in the salty tone. 

Images of warm walls surrounding my intimacy emanated like water; as the desire for fingers embedded in my hips, back, neck, of nails tearing, of teeth biting, kept trying to take a face, a face that I did not want to give to those hands, to that body, to that voice... 

Guttural, demanding... 

And as the swaying of my hand increased in pace, and my moans failed to be contained, that shadow on my consciousness took shape because of the addictive essence. 

Sky eyes, nonexistent pupils, cheshire smile in infinite darkness, brown hair... 

No, no no no no no... Fuck, no. 

But the more I thought about it, the more visible was the figure I wanted to ride until I came. The more I thought about that guttural voice that flowed from the throat that I wanted to fuck mersilessly, the bluer the eyes I wanted to paint with my cum... the closer I felt to cumming... 

I bit my lip at the prominent orgasm, soon my hand was bathed in fluid and my chest in displeasure. 

I hated this... I hated it so much. And at the moment of cumming, at the moment of enjoying a slight lapse of consciousness among these ravings of lasciviousness; this stupid justification about the insignificance of these acts under a state of unconsciousness, product of instinct, did not serve at all to diminish the disgust that ... that my still remnant desire produced in me. 

I took my hand off cleaning some of that disgusting thing with my clothes... God, what a mess. 

And even when the aroma remained, even when my crotch seemed to be responding once more, and my thirst continued with this relentless state, my exhaustion was stronger. I could think more clearly, unfortunately also feel more clearly... 

I shrank my gaze in frustration, orbs fixed on these wooden arches on the roof of the library, small, almost invisible fragments of dust traveling chaotically through nothingness, colliding with other small particles, bouncing, following some slight current of wind from the barely open windows at one end of the ceiling.. 

I couldn't go near him, if I did, I didn't know what it would do to me, and I didn't want to know it. 

I took my cell phone, I dialed home. 

_ "Bubba?" _

"Hi, Mom..." 

" _ How are your tutoring classes going? Are you paying attention to your tutor? By the way, I made your favorite for dinner. You haven't been looking too good these days, so... _ " 

"I'm staying at Stan's house, sorry, I should have told you earlier but..." 

" _ Oh, don't worry, honey, as long as it makes you feel better. Will you come in for a change of clothes? The Terrance and Phillip pajamas you like are in your... _ " 

"You know I don't use that one anymore, Mom, anyway. See you tomorrow?" 

" _ See you tomorrow, Kyle, get some rest, and tell Sharon I'll return the tray she lent me later. Don't forget. _ " 

"Yes, yes..." and after a quick goodbye I hung up. 

And now. Where would I spend the night? 

* * *

And the day-to-day continued, the line between everyday life and reality was sometimes distorted between... between a thousand and one things, I don't know, this feeling of meaninglessness still haunted me, it was inevitable, perennial... I couldn't just turn it off. 

By friday night I could return home, its aroma had dissipated, like a dense early morning fog dispersing at dusk... but in the last moments a second essence accompanied the predominant one in an obscene dance of animal control. 

Kenny's. 

That same night a message came from him. 

“ _ Kyle, my dude, if you want to bring Cartman down, talk to Wendy. Tell her Cartman would make the perfect scapegoat. He knows almost everything. She will tell you what to do _ ” 

That same night all contact with him was cut off. 

_ "Goodbye Ky" _ was the last thing he said that day in the library, and I didn't have the fucking balls to follow him... to try and lessen his anger at my actions, to... I don't know. 

I sent the message to Wendy, she left it in seen but didn't respond. What was going on? 

And then Monday came. And the hunt began. 

I walked to school, I decided not to take the bus, I didn't want to be around Cartman... I knew he'd go, and I had to go. I still had to pretend, I still had to wander like a soul in distress in this limbo called everyday life. Lying to Sheila was adding stress I didn't need right now. 

As soon as I crossed the threshold of this other world called high school... as soon as my foot crossed the line into the epicenter of my fucking lethargy, I knew something was wrong,  _ really wrong _ . 

Glances stuck in me. This heavy atmosphere ran through the corridors, whispers swirling like striped snakes in breeding season rushed through nasty walls, intertwined, sassy, inquisitive... 

And even when they were only moving between ears as just whispers, every damn word came into my ear as if they were speaking within millimeters of it. 

"Is that him? That’s him... the omega. He doesn't look like an omega. It's because he's using pills. Pills? Isn't that illegal? It is. They say the reward for reporting an Omega is high. How much? I don't know, rumors, rumors. But what if it's not an Omega? You have to prove it. Oh yeah, I saw a method on internet, apparently they love sex. Sex? God, I've heard about it. Yeah yeah, they're like bitches in heat all the time. Yeah yeah, they say if you put a dick in front of them they'll suck it instinctively, even if it's some fat beta. Is that the method then? There are others, all involving sexual acts. Wow, I don't want to touch him, what if he gets out of control and decides to take his dick out and start jacking it off in the middle of the class? Is that possible? Well, they're kind of wild, aren't they? Right, they just want to get fucked up the ass..." and more and more and more and more and more... 

My breath got stuck in my chest, and I backed off. I bumped into someone, my gaze turned completely terrified to the owner of that wide abdomen and my heart fell into this little place of complete comfort, I felt absurdly sheltered for a second but... 

"Stan" I pronounced his name with such relief that I didn't recognize my own voice. But his look of complete displeasure erased any trace of calm in my heart. 

"Don't speak to me, never speak a damn word to me again. Do you understand? It's disgusting" and he continued on his way, pushing me with his shoulder in the process... 

Everything collapsed at that very moment, I felt my legs fail, my breathing was meaningless, my reality overcame my daily life and... and... 

I had to go, run away. 

I would call, call and be taken away, sold like a cow at a county fair, used, abused, hurt and broken... then someone else would buy me out and the process would start from scratch. 

At an age where my status as an omega was insignificant next to my wrinkles and diseases, next to my senile psyche... I would be abandoned in some graveyard and forgotten as a used object whose depreciation reached its maximum net, whose period of use expired like that of an obsolete smartphone, or a piece of rotten meat. 

But I would make alphas' heads roll in the process, bring down as many as I could with me, I wouldn't rot in hell alone. And the idea alone was enough to make that life a thousand times more desirable than this circus attempt. This sick, ridiculous circus of freaks.

I stepped back once more, ready to leave.

Hands holding my shoulders from behind made everything colorful once more. A voice familiar and hateful by its very familiarity ran from my ear to my neck, bathing my spine as a warning, like a dagger delineating my vertebrae with every syllable... 

"You flee, run, call, try to kill yourself, or look for any kind of escape from this, Kahl. And I will make every person close to you that you leave behind suffer. Your problems won't be solved by running away, they'll be bigger, a thousand times bigger" and his grip left me, and this symbolic dagger ran into my windpipe... 

He continued his way down the corridor, I saw his gaze detailing me over his shoulder as his essence shielded me for a second from the gazes and whispers now fixed on him. Completely contrary to those directed to me, of course... he was an alpha now. 

He smiled completely elated in the air, in my clear expression of despair, in the knowledge that he had me completely cornered. 

"This is only the beginning,  _ Omega _ ." 

He said before he went on his way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was hard to translate. Too many metaphors and shit. I must have screwed up in several places, sorry for that :c   
> Anyway, see yah in the nex chapter.


	12. Suspension

Like an incurable drunkenness, that point of no return of complete unconsciousness. Gaps, in my behavior, little holes that made my acts seem unconnected, yet still maintain a certain degree of rationality... 

I remember the first class before lunch break... just after the teacher walked out the door, ignoring the clear tension in the room. 

"I trusted you" and his wounded look, this hypocrisy, this lie coating his curved lips in feigned sadness, these eyes moistened in artificial tears. 

I could see it, I could see the beast in front of me, I could see the damned beast to fear in front of me, that wolf who watched proudly as everything collapsed at his feet, while his voice rose to the heavens as some kind of divine authority. 

I looked away, the spectacle was not for me, no. It was for the thousand and one eyes fitted into us, in the middle of the classroom. 

"You also took Kenny... it wasn't his fault, and yet... and yet you let him take all the burden of your fucked ups" I bit my lip in frustration, not because of his fixation on public derision, or the obvious mask that covered his real expression. No, frustration because he was actually right... and a certain fragment in me felt that I deserved this somehow. 

I didn't respond. 

"Apologize" he commanded without a hint of doubt, his voice echoing like an impossible to ignore dictum; but I wouldn't, he didn't deserve my apology. His mother did it, Kenny did it, they were the victims; Cartman was just the attempt of one. 

I raised my eyes in defiance. Yes, those traces of defiance that seemed to have not yet been extinguished. 

"No" I spoke and saw this flash of amusement pierce the resentment he seemed to want to reflect. Oh, he was enjoying this. 

"You're so unbelievable" and he walked right up to me. The hand was on my shoulder, and his lips rose to the level of my ear. "You should be more careful" I frowned almost immediately. 

"Surprise me then, maybe that way I'll continue with your stupid act" I felt him smile against my neck.

"Your father works in a Law firm, doesn't he?" my whole body tensed almost immediately at his words "Your mother doesn't work, your household's entire economy revolves around him. If for some reason something bad were to happen to his license, or his record, maybe to the firm... God, what a tragedy that would be for your family" and he walked away, holding his smile in mock outrage. "Apologize." 

And if I thought nothing was still to be broken, well, I found out I was wrong... 

Damn it.

"Sorry" I spoke looking straight into those stupid eyes, not hiding the hate in mine, not looking down, not looking away, just letting him know how little such a word directed in his direction meant to me. 

"No no no, it's not enough... I still feel terrible, you know?" he said without dropping his mask. I formulated to spit on it, maybe then it would show even a trace of its true colors.

"I don't give a damn if..." 

"You should, you have to be more sincere..." he narrowed his gaze then, I was about to speak but... "Get down on your knees" he commanded in this voice that could well make anyone beg to hear it once more, not me of course.

"No." 

"Get down on your knees and apologize" he ordered again, more demanding, more despot; like a Persian emperor ordering his eunuch on duty to suck its dick, obviously not waiting for a no as an answer "Don't make me repeat it Kahl... I don't have the patience" 

"No" I repeated, distilling anger into my words. 

"Are you sure about that? Because I can do worse, much, much worse... and you know it" I let out a snort of complete disbelief. 

"You can't be serious." 

"Get down on your knees and apologize. Imagine you're going to suck my dick or something, if it makes you feel better to kneel" my stomach turned with such words, joining the anger that flowed from my already trembling hands formed into fists. 

"Cartman..." 

"If I walk out that door without you kneeling before me, Kahl, believe me, not only will this place be hell, your home will be too. Don't make me do this to you, don't make me be so mean" he spoke with so much feigned empathy, so hypocritical and vomiting... 

I hated him  _ so _ much. 

I bit my lip trying to contain the anger, looking for patience from where I didn't have to avoid jumping on his damn neck and asphyxiating him until I felt satisfied... 

I passed saliva looking around, glances at me, expectation floating through the air like a knife held to my jugular. And as I went down I felt my pride do it too, like falling into a dirty mire where only pigs dare to wallow... so dirty and unworthy. 

By the time my knee touched the ground this sensation of tears flowing until they got stuck between the bridge of my nose and my eyelids forced me to bend my head. 

"I' m sorry" I spoke loudly enough, and even if I just whispered, even if I just moved my lips leaving an almost non-existent flow of air, I knew that he would hear me. I knew he would. 

His fingers groped my chin, forcing me to raise my face against my will. 

And the mask fell, his smile spread out in complete fascination, and his teeth biting into his lower lip seemed to want to rip something off instead of his own flesh. 

"You look so  _ damn _ good on your knees, you should do it more often" he muttered, so low that if it were not for my developed hearing I would not have been able to hear him. 

And after he had finished he pushed my face away with his fingers in a rough manner, with this force almost improper of him. 

"No, bad Kahl, I don't want you to suck my dick" he exclaimed out of the blue "These Omegas" spat out, backing up, and making his way towards the exit as he tried to hold back his laughter "Sweet, I always wanted to do that" he said after getting far enough away amidst soft chuckles. 

Hate flowed once more through my stomach to my chest and burst out in a loud yell of frustration. I stood up even with looks on my back, as if I were carrying more weight than I already felt before I knelt. 

And the whispers came back, like a constant.

I knew I had to do something, I had to do something. But I did not remember, I did not remember certain lapses, gaps of anger, gaps of rage between memories diffused by the scourge that they represented. 

I remember the conversation with Wendy, Friday, during lunch... I remember Stan. 

He wasn't there, and just as he walked into the cafeteria late, my gaze ran to him, hers too... 

He took strong resentful steps, I could almost say, while his face reflected nothing but a hint of uneasiness, this gloom that always seemed to cover him when... when something got out of hand, something quite common these days. 

His gaze clashed with mine then, this displeasure once again, deflecting it. And he walked in her direction. What came next was confusing, I didn't know what to do, I knew I shouldn't hear but it's not like I could just cover my damn ears, I had tried too many times before, the noise outside pierced everything 

"What the hell is this Wendy?" I just continued with my meal, grateful that for a moment the looks and whispers didn't revolve around me "A couple of days ago we were spending your heat together for the first time..." 

"Don't do this Stan, not here" she interrupted as calmly as only Wendy could. That probably didn't do anything but hurt Stan, I knew it. 

"I get it... what are you going to do since Kenny's gone? Are you going to go after Kyle? You probably already fucked him though; it's a good thing they took Bebe the next day, because you probably would have fucked her too" my eyebrows arched in surprise, I couldn't help but turn in the direction of both of them as the murmurs exploded like the effect of an equally explosive state. 

She didn't respond, she just kept silent, looking at the plate in front of her... 

Wouldn't she defend herself?. Why?. 

"I was right then... Cartman was right then" I got up almost immediately.

Of course it had to be the work of that son of a bitch. 

"Stan, that's absurd..."

"Wow, will the Omega try to defend itself? Unbelievable. But you know what they say, his kind have such a meaningless voice, they need to embellish it with sweet lies in their ears to make it audible" and all it took was that statement from Cartman, at the other end of the cafeteria, to get Stan's gaze back to this almost irrational hatred, all focused in my direction. 

"You know he's messing with your head. I'm your best friend, I would never do anything like that..." 

"I must've looked so stupid talking to you about Wendy..." he let out a listless laugh, more murmurs "... So stupid," he spat out just before turning around and leaving. 

The whispers became cruder then, heavier... more painful. Everything seemed to turn when I sat down again, watching my lunch still completely intact, watching as some followed the action of others, running their tables away from mine. 

All while Cartman's victorious smile rested from across the room. All while my chest seemed to be squeezed by chains of sharp metal, each beat seemed to make flesh brush with blades of doom. 

I felt terrible. I had to get out of here but... but my pride overcame my fear. The fear of surrendering was greater than the fear of staying. 

By the time Friday was over, and I ran home to try to answer a thousand and one questions, and at the same time take refuge from it all, to try to breathe, to feel sheltered for even a second, somehow some things started to make sense.

My wolf cape now rested on the dirty ground, long scratches covered it, lying unusable. Now wolves fixed their eyes on me, still unsure of my sheep-like quality... 

Where were the reports? Where were the authorities? Where were my chains? 

But what could I expect from Cartman. If he had managed to get the masses on their feet by being a beta, moving simple students by being an alpha would not be a problem. 

There were rumors, all over the school, the groups that our high school students attended, the student circles on social networks. 

'Kyle Broflovski, the omega who takes odorless pills'. 

I was to be reported, I was to be... and yet here I was, walking freely through the streets. 

And the second rumor came up. 

'It takes concise and unalterable evidence to report an omega, any false calls will be reprimanded with high monetary fines and social work...' 

But no one had proof of my condition. As far as they knew, my high grades and reputation as a virgin nerd, as well as other skills, didn't fit the profile of a bitch in heat that Omegas seemed to have around here. 

But no proof was needed as far as I knew. They didn't ask more questions than necessary when I called about Liane and... and they took her away that very night. 

I didn't know how that organization worked, maybe the speed of action that time had to do with the fact that there was no legal documentation of her, maybe she had a certain history, maybe she was on their list but they didn't know her location yet. So many things that probably influenced the speed with which she was taken. 

It was very unlikely at the time that this rumor was true, even though it had taken a little longer to get Bebe... 

Would it have to do with the procedures, probably those of an Omega like Liane would be almost non-existent in contrast to those of an Omega like Bebe for reasons of circumstance. It wasn't the same to abduct a high school student with family and friends, as it was to abduct a prostitute with no apparent family connections other than a few misfits in Nebraska . 

What about Cartman? Wasn't Cartman part of the equation? Probably not, if he did he wouldn't be around. 

Anyway, the school, those betas whose daily life was reduced to a schedule of classes and vain activities outside that second sphere, were too ignorant of the struggle of hierarchies, and were bored enough to be easily misinformed. 

Malleable targets, targets that were not afraid to be malleable because of their very unawareness of reality. 

He only had to put rumors where he had to, to exercise fear where he had to, to silence where there was some kind of threat. As long as the circus put on its show within the walls of that emotional slaughterhouse called the high school, behind the back of any authority, reports would never reach dangerous ears. 

I was relatively sheltered under this sickly code of silence... but that was as bad as it was good, most likely more bad than good. Because it wasn't just a code of silence, it was a code of complicity, led by an alpha. 

They were shy on Friday; just rumors, whispers, some pushing, some looks of displeasure and the occasional sign of lasciviousness proliferating from others. But it would grow, it would get worse, I knew it. 

Monday there'd be words on my face, Tuesday there'd be punching in my stomach, Wednesday there'd be spitting on my desk, Thursday... Thursday and Friday would probably be hell on earth, maybe sooner depending on Cartman's influence and that innate savagery of our kind, the human kind. 

And Friday eventually came to an end. I took the pill on Monday... by Sunday I should be proliferating hormones. I hadn't kept track of my heat either. 

That night, Sunday... I found myself disconnected, small gaps in my memory, in my acting... intermingled with reasoning, with needs, with despair. I closed my eyes breathing deeply, letting cold air flow down my throat, down into my chest, shaking my body in a slight tremor of cold. 

And it only took feeling my black eyelids over my orbs for memories to run through my chest in pain, no tears, no complaints, no feelings of helplessness. No, I just walked, the anger, the hate, the rejection, guiding each step in front of the other with this sick determination that only someone like Cartman could instill in me. 

A smile flowed brokenly through my lips as I raised my eyelids, gazed at the sky, a sky saturated with artificial light, cloudy, small glimpses of the whitish light of the moon among dense clouds, like the flame of a candle through dozens of black fabrics. 

But it hurt... it hurt like every damn time, and you would think that with repetition comes habit, even this anaesthesia that provides the knowledge of these feelings that seemed to accompany every act of his; but no, it hurt like the first time, like the second, and the third, like the fourth, fifth. 

Damn fatso, cornering me to this point. 

" _ We are designed by nature itself to be sexually attractive to anyone who has the need to reproduce. We are the lowest and dirtiest desire of every person in this world, made real _ ” __

And today was Sunday. 

" _ You flee, you run, you call, you try to kill yourself, or you look for an escape from this, Kahl. And I will make every person close to you that you leave behind suffer. Your problems won't be solved by running away, they'll be bigger, a thousand times bigger _ ”

And the beast could perceive my essence. 

" _ Don't talk to me, don't ever speak to me again. Do you understand? It's disgusting. _ "

And he never said nothing about not being eaten. 

My submission, my suffering would not be of his pleasure because it would poison him, because it would not be his property. I would rather have the damage done by my own hand than by his. And if he thought that hurting me was going to be an act exclusive to his psychotic head, if he thought that I would be exclusive to him... God, he was so damn wrong

That night... I don't remember how I got to a certain area, my sense of smell guided my walk, I had taken a bus to Denver in the afternoon, and I had walked in the direction of the most pleasant scents that my sense of smell could track. 

More emptiness, more disconnections... if someone asked me a really specific question about that day, I doubted I could even answer it vaguely. 

I remember finding myself in an establishment, I didn't know what area of Denver I was in, but probably close to places not frequented by the lower or middle class. It would be more likely to see an Omega walking freely on the sidewalks of upper-class streets, they would think it belonged to some Alpha who was passing by, and they would avoid calling in order to avoid problems with its possible owner. 

So I had this question. 

What was the difference between a captive Omega and a free one? Maybe they had IDs, or some kind of mark... maybe the mark Kenny had was synonymous with it, but surely there were alphas with more than one omega, and considering that the mark was something only possible between one alpha and one omega, it wasn't enough then. 

I was pushing my luck... I knew it perfectly well, but I didn't have any pills anyway. And I had no fucking idea where Kenny got his.

How did I get to that establishment? I think the Doorkeeper invited me in. Curious, considering my age. 

"Omega?" I looked at him sideways, I had no definite route, but my smell seemed to captivate his attention despite being a simple beta. 

"Maybe" he smiled kindly then, false kindness. Like a hunter whose prey can only get into the sight of his rifle by means of some bait equivalent to sympathy in this case. Great. 

"A free one" he said, gazing down at my neck shortly exposed by the 'V' diver. 

"Or my alpha has multiple omegas," he arched his eyebrows amusingly. 

"Well, what a sloppy alpha, leaving one without a mark to walk the streets freely," I stared at him in annoyance. 

"Is there anything interesting waiting for me in there?" I asked, pointing to the building. He was a host apparently, the doorman managed a long line of people who seemed to want to get in, several whose eyes swayed around the place, sneaking in my direction at times. Shy birds hovered around their prey, looking for the moment to land on me and then take flight once more. It was irritating. 

"No alpha, but if you come in..." 

"One will probably come" I continued. He smiled contentedly "I'll come in" then he nodded, making his way to the door, through the line. 

I followed him through a long corridor whose only sign to follow were rows of fluorescent lights on the floor and ceiling. 

"I'm underage" I said. 

"No a problem" 

"And I haven't been reported yet" I spoke again, I knew he was aware of it, he probably knew more about the more realistic part of this system than I did. 

"I noticed" 

"How?" 

"Dress, irreverence, recklessness, independence. Many factors." We reached a couple of elevators. 

"Will you report me then?" 

"When reporting an Omega, at least two facts must be given. Location and full name. I strongly recommend that you do not give either of these" and the number of floors descending on the elevator scoreboard informed us that it was approaching. 

"You may give my current location" 

"Too vague" I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, then into the elevator. 

Was I being too reckless? Well, the answer was more than obvious, yes, I was. But strangely enough, I didn't care much. 

"I've heard of smuggled omegas" I said as soon as the elevator opened, the man followed me, pushing a button to the top floor. 

"There is, yes. But the smuggling is only done with omegas from abroad. Smuggling omegas from inside the country is a stupid thing to do." 

"Why?" 

"I don't know, I guess this cultural diversity stuff crossed the line into immorality. What if the client wants an Asian? A Latina? An African?" 

"Is there no export and import?" 

"Alphas and Omegas are the property of their respective countries. There are international treaties that stipulate this type of regulation, since they are considered indispensable resources for preserving the reproductive cycle of each state or something like that. The point is that getting omegas from other areas of the world implies a certain degree of illegality, which supports smuggling. There are also the factors of lower costs and higher revenues, as well as not having to deal with state protocols or taxes" This elevator was taking a while, and the man seemed willing to answer all my questions. Maybe it was some kind of thanks for my cooperation, maybe he was just trying to silence my remaining paranoia. 

"You make the omegas sound like something valuable" 

"Because they are." 

"How much?" 

"Quite a lot. Unlike a company-managed product, omegas cannot be mass-produced, or controlled at a hundred percent. Then there are the abnormals" and the doors finally opened, another long corridor began, windows opening outwards in an arc, interspersed with sculpted columns. Black floors, absurdly flawless, looked like a mirror reflecting every light projected on them, and the distant sound of soft jazz, maybe blues; I wouldn't know... 

"Abnormals?" he nodded. 

"You ignore quite a few things about your own kind" he said, not hiding this hint of sympathy in his voice. 

I was going to continue asking, but we arrived at a lobby, and eventually into what looked like a bar...

A bar, with two floors, divided into several sections around two long bars with several bartenders and... maybe baristas in both. A glass wall rose to its back, bottles perfectly positioned by shape, tone and size, surely the type of liquor, resting on fine wood that seemed to reproduce every little vestige of life that gave light to this place. A string quartet accompanied by a long piano sounded from a quiet platform in a relatively remote area, but the acoustics were good enough to let the sound run down the walls as if it were right next to you. A huge aquarium, which seemed to cover an entire wall, stood out on the second floor, small furniture and relatively private areas seemed to get lost in this air to... I don't know, I'd never seen myself in a place like this a week ago. 

"This way" I followed him to the second floor, the place was basically empty. Where the hell were the people lined up downstairs? Although it was a building, there were probably other areas of greater interest or whatever. 

He pointed to an armchair. 

"Please wait there" he smiled amicably in my direction, I narrowed my eyes reticently. I knew what he was trying to do... but what the hell, our interests didn't diverge much. I took a seat. 

"Would you like something to drink?" 

"No..." 

"On the house" 

"I'm underage, I think I told you" I reminded him. He let go of this soft giggle. 

"You're an omega, those kind of rules don't apply to you, otherwise more than half of the omegas being auctioned right now would be technically illegal" I arched my eyebrows in curiosity over such a statement "So don't worry, you could walk into a police station completely drunk, but as long as you have a mark on your neck, very little could be done to you" 

"I have no mark on my neck" he let out a soft breath of fascination, like someone really disturbed by life contemplating one who is just beginning to see from a distance those same disturbances.

"There's always a first time for everything, right?" I narrowed my eyes in tedium. This shady ass motherfucker was giving me the creeps. 

"Muscat then" he nodded contentedly, turning around after more words of courtesy. 

"Sweet anesthetic, good choice" I heard him as he walked away... not too difficult, he didn't try to hide his tone. No way I would drink that shit, anyway. 

And I just leaned against the leather, closing my eyes to try to differentiate between every word, every whisper from some couple in the dark corner of the bar, or some lonely drinker making occasional comments to the bartender about his wife's infidelities and her lack of care to cover them up... 

Nothing interesting, it didn't seem like a place with double intentions, and if the guy was right about the smuggling, there was no point in taking that action. Reporting me didn't seem to be his intention either. 

So I just relaxed in my place, feeling lost in all the trouble, in the middle of a maze where Cartman's tricks were unable to reach; where his scent could not penetrate walls, where his gaze could not dance on the back of my neck like a sickly reminder of delusional possessiveness. 

I needed pills, I probably wouldn't find them here. But maybe I would find something else, something more interesting, important; something that would cut this gap in control between the two, something that would make his chains on my wrists wobble, lose meaning, lose strength. 

And the thick wooden door, with fine carvings and a golden metal frame was opened. A stream of life rushed into the bar, causing eyes to bloom, fixed in their direction like petals searching for sunlight. And as soon as the aroma came in my direction I knew what kind of obscene sun they were looking for, a sun whose full attention was directed towards me. 

A woman. An alpha.

Then another slight lapse that I didn't bother to remember... conversations lost between formalities, or attempts at one. 

Orders were given and ignored, as with the other alpha I had known... and it was curious how they were intended to be obeyed in pursuit of mere words and an authoritarian tone. Then she smiled, red lips wet with wine, liquid remnant which was then reduced to nothing by her red tongue and her really anxious smile. 

"An abnormal, free, probably virgin... what are the odds?" she said at some point in the conversation, crossing one of her legs over the other with this really outstanding grace, desire moving through her grey orbs in quiet circles, just like the dance of red wine against the walls of the burgundy glass she held between her fingers "You should be careful. What was your name again?" 

She lifted the glass to her lips, the static crystal between this carmine coated canvas, and she smiled in expectation of my reticence, breathing in the tone of the wine, lowering her eyelids shortly as if in front of her there was something of supreme perfection. 

"I didn't say my name" she laughed softly, raising the glass at last for a delicate sip. 

"And you shall not say it" 

"What do you mean by... abnormal?" She left the glass on the reddish wooden table, the golden opaque lights reflecting off the surface, the reflection of the wine playing with the lighting. 

"To many things, but most of all, that any alpha would pay anything to have you in their possession" she tilted her head then, some golden threads of her short hair sliding over her shoulders. 

"They would pay anything?" 

"Of that two percent of the population that is alpha or omega, only a tiny fraction is abnormal. Pretty rare creatures" she smiled amusedly at my apparent surprise "Only a few have abnormals in their possession, in some countries they are sentenced to death, in others, first world countrys of course, they are kept in these sex museums" 

"Condemned to death? Why?" she shrugged. 

"I don't know much about it, but it was abolished not many decades ago in here" 

"What about the sex museums?" she took a deep breath and looked down at the glass. 

"Just a metaphor..." her fingertips slid over the rim of the wine glass, a faint trace of wine remaining in the crystal. "Have you heard of the Cannes Film Festival?" 

"The french one?" she nodded. 

"The prostitutes at that festival are among the most expensive in the world, their services don't go below ten thousand a night" I kept silent "They are these selective belongings that are only accessible to the highest bidder, those omegas on the red carpet whose body is the ambrosia of obscenity" 

"Are they abnormal?" she turned in my direction and giggled softly about it. 

"No, of course not. Buying a simple abnormal's heat period can at least quintuple the heat period of Cannes' famous prostitutes. I said sex museum because they're kept in places that you can't access without certifying that you have a certain amount in your bank account, and they're only accessible during their heat, so..." 

"Why only in those periods?" she narrowed her gaze, and took the neck of the cup between her thumb and forefinger to bring it to her lips again. 

"For the same reason they were and are condemned to death I suppose" I did not hide my slight confusion. So they were dangerous in some way, when they were conscious "And because I suppose that increases their rarity and value or that I know. My point is that finding one like you in a place like this, is like glimpsing a diamond in the middle of a dumpster" 

"A dump seems more appealing than a whorehouse" she drank then, closing her eyes, making it obvious that she didn't mean to listen to me. 

"You'd be surprised, what anyone would give for those whores" I kept silent for a few seconds, contemplating the glass that I had not touched at all.

"Should I then give you my price?" her teeth bit her lip as she listened to my question, completely fascinated by the conversation. 

"Please do" and she spoke, a gentle groan of animal desire seeping into her tone. This was probably much easier for Kenny. 

"Can a beta hurt a marked omega?" 

"No, but they can try, of course, if they don't mind the idea of angering an alpha" she smiled with this hint of feigned innocence "And believe me darling, no one in their right mind wants that" I took a deep breath, satisfied by the words. 

"Would they report a marked Omega?" Her pupils seemed to grow as I uttered the word, like a desire emerging from dark depths of self-control. 

"As I said, they can try. But who would take away an alpha's precious possessions, whoever does, will have the full weight of my power on their back in a matter of no time" I smiled then.

"One last question" she nodded "What prevents you from taking me by force?" Her shapely eyebrows arched, and her smile soon descended.

"I like to think that we have evolved, left behind these animal instincts to overcome reason over them. I know it's not like that, just an empty ideal in the face of a thousand and one daily arguments against such absurd hope; but at least I would like to apply it for myself... and to be honest with you, taking you by force would be like pulling a rose from its petals, or pretending to touch a piece of art with a knife. Nonsense, like savages" and her lips curled up pleasantly "But it is a matter of probability, just as there are alphas like me, there will be others who justify their actions by the savagery they claim subdues them" I frowned, not hiding the displeasure in my face from memories I wished to forget. "You seemed to know" she said, somewhat bemused by the fact. 

"I want you to mark me" and I felt her heart palpitate at an absurdly calm pace, her pupils swallow the gray tone of her gaze in an overload of what seemed to be endorphins, and her smile grow in complete lasciviousness. 

"But you see, I really need to  _ own you _ to do it" and the counterpart of course. 

"As you wish" 

I don't know what time it was when I got to South Park. The woman sent me with her driver all the way to my front porch right after we... finished. 

And I could feel it, it was burning in my neck like a concentrated fever, boiling blood moving up my jugular, going to my brain, spreading this strange feeling of... not much really, I didn't feel much more than a slight physical discomfort. But her scent was engulfing me, I could feel it in every breath, as if she were at my side, as if her naked skin was once again under my hands and... and I got out of the car letting go of a swirl of warm breath which was lost in the air as the never-silenced engine started. 

And I didn't know how to feel about it... I'm sure Kenny would be thrilled with the experience, it would probably be just one of many on his list, that list he never talked about, those names he never uttered. A dog with a thousand straps around his neck trying to ignore them in desperation while waiting resignedly to... to be pulled by the wrong strap at the wrong time. 

But I wasn't Kenneth... 

No. 

An uneasiness that did not dare to name its existence, danced like the unwanted lady in the evening, with a mask on her unpleasant face, and a brazen dress that seemed to reflect her lascivious nature. Disgust? Perhaps my remaining pride was being torn apart under her heels, or perhaps it was the dying breath of my dignity? Hard to say amidst the cold wind blowing, with my scent dancing through the air like threads of gold and silk being spun with the care only proper to archaic craftsmen. 

The wind was blowing in the direction of Cartman's house, and I smiled at the convenience trying as much as the context would allow, to ignore that lady with the deadly expression, white mask and obscene dress. 

I wanted to see how much it was worth it to fall on my knees before my most degrading nature. 

I looked silently at the front of my house, then at my phone. It was about four o'clock. In a couple of hours I'd have to go back to that damn hellhole. 

" _ What the hell are you doing? _ " I read the message, and this little vestige of satisfaction covered my chest. 

Cartman. 

"I don't know. What should I be doing?" 

" _ I can smell you up here. Are you trying to get reported? _ " I chewed my lip amused. 

"Maybe" I let go of a gentle laugh writing back "Or you're an idiot. I don't have any more pills, you threw them all" I could even hear the movement in his house from here... 

I let go of another breath by holding my phone, knowing he wouldn't answer it anymore... and waited. I turned in the direction of his house, and to the sounds, the door was opened. Only a few houses away, I could see the tedium on his face as if he were inches away. 

He started his way in my direction, strong footsteps on snow, struggling with each step through the thick white cover accumulated throughout the night. I waited patiently and expectantly, his brow closing more insistently as he approached. 

With every step near me, the aromas that distilled from my body managed to reach him, with every millimeter my whole night was running through his nose. Wine, women's perfume, another alpha... sex. 

And the rage that clearly emerged from his eyebrows coming together made every fucking drop of disgust worthwhile. This was fucking hilarious. 

"Kahl" he pronounced my name, sounding so clear in the midst of the wind, in the midst of the distant sound of life beginning to emerge once again by the hand of dawn. 

"Cartman" and he stopped in front of me. Frowning, his bridge slightly creased in disgust, his lips formed in this really thin line of tedium while his hands probably rested in fists in his pockets "Were you awake?" I spoke without hiding these traces of relative delight from the protruding dark circles under his eyes. He snorted with edginess. 

He breathed then, deep. 

"Alcohol, lavender, smog, perfume... another alpha..." he listed the aromas that stood out, among probably many. Ignoring the most obvious one, probably deliberately. Then smiled full of feigned cynicism "Somebody had a pretty good night, huh?" I shrugged my shoulders and turned nowhere in particular. 

"I don't remember hearing you make any threats about where my dick could or couldn't get in, I mean, that would be pretty gay, even for you" I spoke, turning once more to the front of my house, tilting my head briefly to expose the area where the mark was probably located in a subtle way. If he was detail-oriented enough he would see it, and I knew he was. 

He clicked his tongue, he had seen it. He snorted then. 

"You're amazing Kahl, always playing right on the edge of my threats" I heard his fingers covering something inside his pockets, seconds later he pulled out one of the pills and waved it in front of me "Do you want it?" I didn't answer. He looked away in disgust... 

And he was silent, the anger fading from his expression slowly, not surely, just slowly. And I just watched, not quite sure what to feel, its aroma making my voice stick in my throat, holding it under this... hint of authority that no alpha I had ever known would inspire. 

He extended it in my direction, his gaze concentrating once more on me. 

"Take it" and my eyes were soon drawn between the little pill with the Playboy magazine symbol and his frown. 

"What's the counterpart?" he flashed a reluctant smile. 

"You'll see it in a few hours" but I didn't move an inch. "Kahl, this circle of threats is starting to get repetitive, so if we could skip all that crap, that would be fucking great." 

And like a child of just four or five years old I decided I wanted to... I don't know, just do nothing. I backed off. 

"I don't need it" and I started my way home... to the back door of course. I heard him grunt from below, and soon his icy hand was around my wrist and... 

I didn't see that coming, like a series of factors weighing on a scale, all the necessary ones seemed to weigh more than his lines... or maybe he never contemplated the existence of lines impossible to cross. Perhaps his state as an alpha eliminated that perception of limits, for now, within his little world, he must have felt all-powerful. 

He pulled me and I recoiled awkwardly in the thick snow to be stopped by his broad chest. Soon I was turned in my place and a hand holding my neck pushed me hard towards him. 

Cold skin clashed with cold skin, and lips, like a flammable substance coming into contact with the slightest trace of fire, lit up in a bonfire that seemed to caress the sky, as if seeking to purge the thousand and one sins of these two victims of their pride's inquisition... 

And pride did indeed burn in hell.

We fitted in perfectly and static lips began a calm movement, a symphony in its slow moment, entering this crescendo that made the beat of a thousand hearts anchor its compass to the orchestra. 

I felt the pill move from his tongue to mine, and I held it there, amidst a contact that seemed to burn like hell from which I wanted to flee, but which I longed for like that unspeakable sin that we as humans tend to hide in the abyss of our thousand and one limits. 

And his aroma... God, how many metaphors could I utter in pursuit of the intoxicating bitterness that seemed to burn my reason, a seal that burned like fire in flesh and elevated me to a state of simple and plain disinhibition. And now, when this ambrosia was within reach of my lips, I feared losing control, like a thirsty man in this oasis in the middle of the desert, whose deliciously flavored water lay poisoned and silent, a sip did not quench the thirst, it only seemed to make it grow... a cruel trap. 

I had to stop, I had to, I didn't want to keep drinking, I didn't want to keep perishing as a person, I didn't want to... I didn't want to, I didn't want to... 

And yet my hands went up to the back of his neck, my fingers got buried in his hair and I pushed him as close as I could, no kind of contact being enough and... he felt so different. 

Why did he feel so different than that woman? Why did this spring leave me even more thirsty while the other seemed to overflow me to the point of distaste?. 

His teeth touched my lips, his tongue licked leaving behind a trace of lava, the cold tip of his nose crashed into mine, and our faces fitted together like two gears in every friction between our lips... 

And I felt it, by his movement, by his inability to walk away after making sure that the pill had stayed in my mouth, by his hands now pressing on my hip, by his scent that seemed to intensify at the touch of my skin, like sunflowers in their blossom under sunny skies... I felt it, I felt his inability to walk away, to stop the flow of friction and the momentary collapse of our hatred... or perhaps his renewed uprightness, I didn't know. 

But the meowing of a cat made us jump like two condemned men in the middle of a sinful act, as far away from the other as if we had just realized how much the contact was burning. 

"Mr. Kitty!" spat the fat fuck in irritation as he turned to the little cat that had followed him here in spite of the cold, now rubbing against his leg. He shook her off, almost kicking her, before the cat made a sharp squeal of spite and ran home. 

My gaze only followed his movements as I retreated briefly, trying to rebuild the wall that had just collapsed between us in despair, focusing on the cold, on the distant sound of the train shaking the tracks, crushing the thousand and one rocks between the wooden boards in rows of iron, so many sounds, so many scents around us, and its pulse, its essence overwhelmed everything. 

And I wanted to cry... for such a cruel curse. 

I hated this, like a terminal disease, some kind of dystrophy to my nervous system that made me lose control, that made me succumb to the passing of time, and I feared with all my being what I might become. 

It made me sick. 

Our eyes met, and I pushed it away as fast as my face would allow, completely terrified of what I might find in them. I began my way home too engrossed in my rediscovered tragedy, ignoring his breathing, his gaze on the back of my neck; or at least trying as if my life depended on it. 

I had to flee, covered in the mantle of self-pity intermingled with hatred. What a shitty night. 

"If you think that little mark will do anything..." 

"It will" I said, aware that the aroma of that alpha was still pervading me despite the pill, aware that he could feel it "Because no one would touch an alpha's belonging after all" I uttered with such disgust that it could be felt for miles. 

He was silent. I only heard his footsteps drifting away then, to the beat of my own, both disoriented, arrhythmic, clumsy . This silent pact floating in both of us, we would never speak or repeat that. It had only been a ranting of the moment, perhaps a failure of the matrix, whatever I... 

God.

Near the backyard fence I felt my cell phone vibrate, I grabbed it... 

Wendy.

I answered. 

"Yes?" 

" _ If you want to bring him down, today would be a good day to start _ ." 

"To Cartman? Why until now?"

" _ The more drunk he feels in power, the easier it is to sink him. And by this point, I think he's wasted enough _ .  _ And I had to figured some things out _ " 

Was it possible to hesitate in such a clearly obvious decision?

"Ok, I'm in." 


	13. Prelude to collision

I was always attracted by the idea of the pandora's box. The notion of a container for all evils; which, from my simplistic viewpoint, I considered as something inherent to each individual, a weakness in their core, within reach of a moment of curiosity. Or so I saw it, just as an exploding point that everyone hid even from themselves, and I... well, I enjoyed finding it. 

After playing with the vileness of hundreds of people, after seeing the contents of a thousand pandora boxes in the open, I came to the conclusion that their contents were usually the battlefield abandoned after an internal war, a dark place where the remains of lost battles were thrown away, the dead skin, the corpses of monsters under the bed left behind. 

Accumulated under the deliberate ignorance, or the inclement oblivion, they lay suppressed under a lock. Under the ideal context, under the influence of specific external factors, under the conjugation of the necessary elements to fit the lock, all that putrefaction would be spilled, leading us inevitably to a mental collapse. 

I came to the conclusion, eventually, that it is not curiosity that drives us to fall apart as functional human beings; it is factors that generally go beyond our control, which lead to that box being opened... Just as Pandora's curious nature, given by the gods with malice, was out of her own hands. 

His lips... on his lips lay the perfect formation to move like the ease of wind to a feather, the bolts of the lock of my pandora's box.

* * *

I sat down in front of him, his gaze fixed on the food that he had not even touched. 

I knew he could feel me, smell my scent; I knew he could hear my throbbing, my blinking, the slightest curvature of my lips, the smallest typing of fingers on the wood. And yet he pretended to ignore me. 

I looked around, the whispers had been silenced, no one dared utter a word about him 

Clever, always so damn clever. 

"Maybe... these betas are terrified of playing with someone else's bitch" I started talking while looking disdainfully at the sandwich on my tray. 

The aromas and even flavors had intensified to such an extent that it was impossible not to detect little unpleasant things about the food or drinks, or about the people around me. 

They already made me sick, but now with this shit I could barely put anything in my mouth without feeling the damn stench of sweat from sports club jerks, this sickening scent coming from some girls, this overload of deodorants, perfumes, cosmetics, skin soap and other stuff that seemed to violate my damn nose with every breath; as well as other such fucking unpleasant smells... 

"But I am still here, Kahl..." he smiled softly, looking up for the first time. He didn't hold it, he looked in another direction as if simple eye contact would burn. 

"Not for long" the sentence caught my attention, and almost instinctively I turned to Wendy. Her gaze ran to the people around her immediately... she could hear, we heard everything after all. 

"I know you have some kind of fucked-up plan or some weird shit coming up to twist things. You're a Jew after all, messing with my balls is your... your trick or whatever" and I felt absurdly uncomfortable after saying those words. 

I would never take anything I said literally, but for the first time, one of my many vulgarities raised an absurdly sexual image in my head. Shit. What the hell was going on with me? 

I almost thanked the thousand and one scents around me, because they made that alpha tone in him spread through the air. Cause just by breathing it in sharply, I felt anger flowing like bile through my chest.

"I'll hit you, you'll hit back even harder, and I'll hit back twice as hard... so do as you please, because after giving you your brief moment of satisfaction, mine will come. I guess whoever lasts the longest wins, right?" he had covered his face with his hand. 

Amidst the carmine curls that slipped through his pale fingers, the somewhat erratic sound of his breathing and his arrhythmic heartbeat... little did he seem to be listening to my words. I clicked my tongue in annoyance. 

"How far do we have to go?" he asked out of the blue. 

I arched one of my eyebrows in curiosity, more interested in this somewhat exhausted, somewhat aching, somewhat defiant bias that ran through his voice like a child who doesn't know which seat on the school bus to take. 

"Whenever we start with this circle of... of hate it's hard to stop; so I wonder... how hard I have to hit you to shut your fucking mouth once and for all" and he soon put his hand away to look at me, with hesitant jade eyes. 

And this time it was me who cut off the eye contact. I turned contemptuously to Wendy's table. 

"No idea. If only you had followed my damn orders we wouldn't be here" he snorted reluctantly shrugging in his seat. 

"You knew I was an abnormal, didn't you?" my eyebrows arched in surprise after the sudden statement. 

"What?" 

"You said something about, like, taking a picture of that alpha when he realized I wasn't a... a puppet I think? You knew, since then... that morning you said you wanted to experiment. You didn't want to experiment with the tension between alphas, you wanted to know how efficient I was, as an abnormal, to generate it, right?" 

"See? If you had stayed with me we would have accomplished so many things Kahl. I don't tend to act without thinking... most of the time" I saw him bite his lip shortly then, a flash of contained rage under his countenance. 

"What did you expect when you sent me off with that alpha, when you took away my pills so I wouldn't decide to ruin your sick plan, what the hell did you intend to do when you left me to my fate in the hands of someone who felt he had the fucking right to sexually abuse me just for his fucking position" his tone, surprisingly, was kept under control. He didn't pick it up, in fact, he almost seemed to reduce it to the point of making it somewhat inaudible, not to me of course. Still, the anger did seem to run through his lips, through those emeralds eyes that seemed to be engulfed in liquid fire. 

And I really tried to think about it, to find the answer. I didn't owe him one, and I didn't intend to justify myself, because even to this day, I didn't give a shit; but lying didn't seem very interesting either, although it sure would make him very angry. I wanted to make him angry. 

"I don't really know, I thought you'd love it, you know, because you're half a whore and stuff. Are you sure you didn't like it?" I heard his teeth grind in anger and almost immediately he stood up "Anyway, I don't need you anymore at all. Change the system? Cut off the emperor's head? why would I pretend to cut off the emperor's head when I'm the one wearing the crown here" and I let go of my most cynical smile, just before I saw him surround the table with hands shaped into fists, deep breathing, looking to calm down. 

I stood up too, our heights not differing too much. 

"Are you going to hit me? the pathetic little Omega wants to bolster his self-esteem by hitting an Alpha who has nothing to do with the whore who put him on a leash or the asshole who tried to abuse him? is that it?" I knew what I was doing, pressing the wounds that I was so aware hurt like hell. 

But I found so unbearable, truly unbearable, the amalgamation of sensations that since this morning had seethed from my chest like poison, that seeing his expression of defeat, resentment and hatred seemed the only thing capable of calming my discomfort. I wanted to see him suffer more, way more. 

It was not enough. 

"Come on, hit me. Though I doubt it will make you feel better; you will still be a simple, empty, useless object. You're only good for fucking after all..." I spat out feeling real anger flowing from my words, traces of the abysses of pandora soon replacing my own voice. 

And like a burn to my chest, a smile overflowing with a thousand and one unpleasant sensations formed on his lips; quick, whose trail would remain for the next hours, days perhaps, as a reminder of the danger he was beginning to represent for my psyche. 

"I was so afraid, fatass, so afraid to act like some kind of animal around you... but with every word you say you make me realize what a nasty, disgusting son of a bitch you are. It's impossible, impossible that I would even want to touch you, even to hit you. I'd probably throw up in the process" and he stepped back victoriously, ironically. 

And the box cracked, my inner demons poked their ugly heads shyly, and renewed traces of animal instincts trampled my reason like a stampede of beasts on the futile grass of the savannah. 

As soon as he turned his back and started his way towards the door the consequences were reduced to nothing... it's not like they existed for me anyway. 

I took my tray without touching it and with a force I did not recognize in me, I threw it towards him as if it were something with an insignificant heaviness. 

the plastic rectangle overflowing with food crashed into his head, the tray fell slowly, leaving behind all the bruised bread, routine sauces, vegetables and shredded chicken now covering his reddish hair... 

And for a moment I questioned my age, my status, my damn sanity. Come on, I had less childish methods to make him retrace his steps. 

The whole cafeteria fell into expectant silence. I saw his shoulders shaking in rage, his fists clenched so tightly I knew he was burying his nails in his palms. I let out a snort, then a soft laugh, then a laugh... someone followed me, then the next and the next and the next. And within seconds the whole place was saturated with laughter and mockery. 

He turned in his place, and by the time my laughter was silenced by simple boredom, he was already walking in my direction, preparing his right arm to be flexed. 

So that's how it would be, huh?

Perfect. 

By the time our fists were within each other's reach, a rush of adrenaline ran through my system like a damn geyser expelling boiling water from its rocky jaws. I couldn't contain my smile, driven by this brutal mix of endorphins moving through my entire being. 

His fist connected against my jaw, so fucking hard that the world spun for a second. I felt the bone resent moving in a somewhat abnormal way, my cheek being lacerated between my teeth and his knuckles, blood almost immediately rushing through my mouth as the pain took a few seconds to appear, somewhat lethargic, but yes... there it was. 

And for the first time since this absurd dictum had been made to my reality, this matter that we were but mere beasts; I felt completely overwhelmed by that statement, and I found in it such unalterable truth, that it even terrified me. 

I raised my arms to cover his next fist, barely recovering from the previous one. I backed off on the impulse, my forearms resenting the blow and I dodged the next one by moving to his side, somewhat uncovered, to throw a left to his ribs, he managed to move no more than necessary, groaning under the sudden blow... 

I didn't remember being so fast, I didn't remember him being so fast or hitting so hard... 

But whatever, this was too good to stop. 

I made a second attempt with my right, and once again he managed to reduce the damage by covering his face with his forearm. He grunted at the impact and then backed off a few steps breathing heavily. 

And as if we were finally back to reality, everything around us made sense. The noise, the shouting and the yelling of dissonant masses that lacked complete coherence. 

And my smile, which had not given way one millimeter since the beginning of all this, grew even bigger to my satisfaction, completely thirsty for the rage I wanted to absorb from his big round irises of an almost feline tone, with these thin pupils getting lost like a lady in black dressed in the distance of a meadow of dark grass, dragging with her laces of this precious amber. 

I briefly wiped the blood stream that I felt flowing out of the corner of my mouth, licking my lips to remove the residue of the metallic-toned liquid that seemed to do nothing but turn me on again. 

"Jesus, Kahl. Why so violent? I just wanted to talk to you" the point of this pretense of innocence, an act really not directed at anyone but him, was only to annoy him. 

I didn't give a shit if the people around us believed my words or not, it's not like they had a lot of choice anyway. All I really wanted was to make him angry, to make him lose his temper that he held so tightly to his chest as if it were his greatest treasure... 

Who cared about the world, who cared about the system, who cared about a crown of immortal gold; if I could not satisfy one of my most basic needs. So basic that it didn't even have a name on its own, it just knew that the only one capable of satisfying it entirely was him. 

And from the depths of the pandora's abyss that reality emerged, and I would not know how to adjectivize such a discovery, I would not know on what spectrum of morality or acceptance to place it in the hope that it would take on a meaning greater than its mere existence. 

But one thing was certain, and that was that I did not like this at all. No. 

My gaze lost its focus, I was so immersed in the idea that I just saw how meaningless it was to continue in this place. 

"Anyway, just fuck off" I muttered as I walked out, a new target dictating my actions. I had to get rid of that nasty mark on his neck, the only thing that was sure to keep him one hundred percent out of my jaws.

"God, Clyde, strap your bitch or something; she's got the sweat of at least five assholes rubbed all over her ass, it's disgusting!" I shouted, fed up with all the shit in the air before I left the place. 

The first step would be to find out who that alpha was. Simple, I would just have to follow him... 

No, he would feel me. God. 

I had to send someone else then, who? It shouldn't be too complicated, I could order anyone to lick my balls, and in theory, they should. 

The doorbell rang a few seconds later as I got closer to my locker. 

I leaned my forehead against the metal door exhausted, I hadn't had a decent night's sleep since last week; my whole damn jaw hurt and part of the inside of my mouth was sore; everything smelled like shit, and I had no fucking idea how much the smells could say, things I didn't even want to know.

God, this was torture in its purest form. 

I glanced sideways at Kenny's locker, not far from mine... 

I clicked my tongue in disgust for the simple act of doing so. It's not like I cared about anyone getting close to me except for the fact that I was an stupid alpha, or that I never had a friend in the first place, except for him of course. 

I let go of a long sigh trying to turn my mind to Kahl's alpha, or to Kahl in general. 

And this fire came back to my lips at memories that made my chest tremble in a furious mixture of distaste and disbelief for my own actions. I was so exhausted from everything.

I finally took some strength to walk away from the door to open it and grab the books for the next cut. 

On Friday, just before I left, I was called into the office where some boring betas in suits were waiting, showing me pamphlets and crap from prestigious residential schools in Colorado and surrounding states. They would take me to one, all expenses paid and shit. I refused, they said they would come back. 

I started my way to the classroom by doing the impossible to ignore everything around me. I could have used headphones or something, but even at the minimum volume I felt like my ear was being drilled. 

So here I was, going to class while hearing about how great Kahl's hook had been... 

I let go of my breath in search of calm and managed to get to the classroom, my gaze colliding with that of Butters who, as always, was at the front of the classroom. 

"Was there anything for today?" I asked contemptuously without really caring about the possibility of it, I just wanted something besides insults and threats to come out of my mouth. 

He looked down in embarrassment out of nowhere, his hands starting to bump into each other nervously as he cleared his throat to speak. 

"There was a group rehearsal..." 

Ow... right, the one I was going to do with Kenny. 

"Right" I replied distantly, sitting next to him. I really had to be too desperate to sit next to Butters Stotch. But I'm not an idiot, I needed him "I want you to do something for me Butters" I straightened up in my position, raising my nose to the air to try to catch the smell of alpha that Kahl was giving off, that stench as easy to recognize as his presence. No, he wasn't around. Good. 

"Yes?" I watched him silently for a few seconds. I could try to manipulate someone more suitable... someone less pussy-whipped and fearful; but it shouldn't be too complicated, and he wasn't as much of an idiot as he appeared to be. 

"I want you to follow Kahl tonight" his eyebrows arched almost immediately, and the fingers of his hands started playing with each other nervously. 

"Follow him? Why..." 

"It doesn't matter why, it will only be today, and I can only trust this to you, do you understand?" I leaned in his direction, putting as much seriousness and power in my tone as possible “Look at me" he raised his eyes without complaining, in spite of it, doubts covered his blue iris "I can only trust you, tell me you understand" 

He bit his lip in frustration and then looked down in surrender. 

"I understand" I smiled satisfied. The scent of Kahl... or his alpha, came into my radio, he was close. 

"I'll call you in tonight, okay? To tell you what and how to do it" he nodded hastily turning his gaze to the pile of books on his desk. 

And I returned to my desk lying down in an ungainly manner, I wanted to sleep so I stood up to go to the back seats taking out my phone on the way, reviewing for the thousandth time the last conversations with Kenny... with Liane. 

And it was inevitable, I knew they wouldn't answer, and yet I couldn't help but leave some stupid message on them. 

Was I being some kind of sentimentalist? I don't know; but I was starting to think that the pain of loss was working in reverse on me. Apparently, over time, that little nagging in my chest was growing.

But what do I know, maybe I was trying to fool myself, trying to fit into those voids; voids generated by the dirty dishes, the crumbling beds, the floor overflowing with garbage, the group work I didn't want to do alone; the emotion inspired by their departure. 

Sometimes I did not understand the boundaries of certain emotions, which ones were artificial, which ones were real... and it had become even more confusing after my awakening, as if a new range of possibilities had been added to the palette of colors that was my psyche. Only black and white, now there were also these thousand shades of red.

I let go of a long sigh by sitting down, feeling the aroma of that alpha approaching, Kyle came through the door after a few minutes, followed by the teacher who looked at him curiously probably noticing the change in his essence. 

And his gaze crossed mine for a second, he looked away almost immediately, with expressive disgust. He took a seat in the front. 

And there were these red tones... strange, completely alien to me until now. 

It was really frustrating, because they probably had a thousand and one different names, because probably someone normal didn't need gay metaphors to pigeonhole those feelings. 

I didn't even know why the fuck I was coming; I mean, I was an alpha after all, I could just miss it and they couldn't say anything to me. Who was going to say anything about it, my mother? Pf. 

I listened in the distance how the bitch asked for the rehearsal, desks moving, tedious whispering that as I said I did not want to hear at all, aromas too intimate for my taste... 

And he... 

I stood up, attracting the gaze of several, not all, of those used to my ravings I suppose, including Kyle. I watched him falsely dismissive for a second before just leaving the room, his gaze fixed on the board as if my exit was nothing more than the fluttering of an insignificant fly. 

I crossed the threshold of the hallway in the face of the teacher's self-contained protests, what was she going to say, what was she going to do to an alpha? Nothing.

Maybe that's why we were sent to highly prestigious boarding schools, because we were more controllable under contexts of equality between alphas, as well as in smaller numbers, with teachers with the right granted directly by other alphas to instruct us. 

The classes should not have more than about five or six students per course, so the attention given to the learning process of each one should be much... just much, all too much. The degrees of any professor were surely not inferior to a PhD at elite universities. The demands were probably not less than those given to a college student in their last semester. 

So systematic. But still, what was I waiting for? I don't know what I was waiting for; but I guess that was one of my many failures, when I had what I wanted in my hands, even if it cost more than anyone would give... I couldn't help but think about the next goal, because the one already achieved became obsolete. 

However, this was never my goal from the beginning, so I was still hopelessly disoriented, or perhaps I was just overanalyzing myself, if that was the right way to put it. But luckily I had my next goal. The alpha who had Kahl in their jaws; either by having them mark another omega or... by taking care of them, I would remove their claws from my prey. 

It wasn't long before I heard a damn warning through the speakers. 

" _Eric T. Cartman, you are wanted in the counselor's office_ " and fell silent, not before releasing this horrible beep that old speakers tend to make... god. I wrinkled my nose in pain because of it.

I formulated not to go. Every time an order came to me, there came the knowledge of the non-existence of a power to enforce it. It was nice, I knew it would lose its charm at some point, but in the meantime I would enjoy it. I decided not to go then, just wandering through the corridors, following the scent of my latest achievement. Wendy. 

I stopped at the door of the student council. What the hell was I doing? I don't know, but maybe pushing the door would give me the answer. 

I walked in closing behind me, her gaze was fixed on some boring book as she licked her stylized index finger to turn to the next page. 

"Hey" I said as I approached, taking a seat in front of her desk. 

It was my first time in here, and it was overflowing with her scent; yet there was a faint trace of him, of Kyle... or his alpha. They had spoken here not long ago. 

She didn't respond, and I didn't mind, in fact, I was grateful that I didn't have to listen to her shrill voice any more than I had to. 

"I have some questions..." 

"I haven't talked to Stan if that's what you want to know," of course she hadn't. She was the kind of person who put her principles above her own interests. If her duty dictated that she should spread those odorless suppressants to the poor victims of the system, she would do whatever it took to get there; even leave her beloved Stan behind. And well, as long as I had those suppressants, she was quite easy to control. 

"I know... it's not that" I took a deep breath trying to reconcile my questions, ideas and so forth, contemplating the possibility of her lying to me. Maybe she would, but whether it was true or not, I only needed a functional answer. 

She did not stop reading, moving her bored orbs along the letters at an almost superhuman speed, wrinkling her eyebrows from time to time as if she were trying to quickly define something that came out of her understanding, achieving it in less and less time, relaxing her gaze and then continuing with the rest of the page. She moved on to the next one in a matter of seconds. 

"When you switch to alpha... the transformations are not entirely hormonal, are they?" she took a deep breath, tedious in her exhalation as I interrupted her reading. 

"Something is bothering you, if you go straight to the point instead of asking me stupid questions it would be great" this bitch. 

"I feel that there are new things bothering me, new needs I have to satisfy... and yes yes, you have to reproduce and that shit, and the body responds to it accordingly. But it goes beyond that, because those needs seem to bring with them new shades of... I don't know, of emotions that are out of my control. I don't like that, I don't like that at all" and finally she closed the shitty little book, letting a mocking smile run down her insipid lips to raise her irises, as cloudy as the winter sky, in my direction. 

"Aw, little Eric wants to drink from the forbidden spring of someone he can't have," I knew I shouldn't have come, I'm an idiot. 

"I can have anyone I want," she arched her eyebrows in mock surprise. 

"Really? God, I'm sorry then. From the way you looked at Kyle today in the cafeteria, I was almost sure you wanted to fuck him. But if what you say is true, I guess you've got him on his knees in front of you begging for your magnificent manhood, right? How mistaken I was". 

"Can you cut the fucking sarcasm?" 

"Sarcasm? What sarcasm?" I clicked my tongue in tedium. 

"The one overflowing from your pussy or the one up your ass, take your pick," she frowned in disgust. 

"What a pig you are sometimes. God" I snorted. 

"Answer” 

"What do you want me to answer, that the innocent sexual fantasies you had before waking up were intensified by that hormonal discharge? Or that now you will have to learn to reconcile your reason with all those impulses that by the end of the day make us more inferior than anyone else? That it will be almost impossible from now on to distinguish what makes you human and what makes you animal? That you will eventually lose out to those patterns in your nature, leaving behind the person you pretended to be? All these patterns of accumulation of power, greed, possessiveness, self-centeredness... patterns that lead to corruption, blind pride, alienation of people's lives on the other side of the system, this sickening perception that you are looking at a game board with fallen pieces and not reality covered in blood and corpses..." she took a deep breath. 

"What the..." 

"We'll lose ourselves Cartman, you may have already lost yourself, I haven't... and if it bothers you, you who were a son of a bitch to begin with, you have no fucking idea how much it terrifies me, how much it probably terrifies Kyle. Because at the end of the day, if you look at it in perspective, the only ones really free from this whole sick game are the betas" I was silent at the words, not quite sure what to say. 

Was she exaggerating? I didn't think so. This threat that her hormones began to emit was sincere. 

"What, so you're just doing all this charity work for the Omegas to convince yourself that you're not missing out as a person or some shit like that?" I spoke without thinking much about it, just pulling the closest mockery out of my arsenal. She snorted at the air. 

"You'd love to make my hypocrisy visible, wouldn't you? So what if I do it for my own good, for this point so morally retrograde, even altruism lacks transparency" I narrowed my gaze then, I didn't think she'd be so honest with me. 

"Why are you telling me all this?” 

"Because you're the only asshole who doesn't have the right to judge me, and even if you did, it wouldn't mean shit," she spoke with a sneer as she looked down at the book on the desk. "You know it's all going to go to hell at some point, too many mistakes, and you probably won't stop if Kyle somehow manages to screw you up again, right?" she looked up at me. 

I didn't respond. 

"And everything will collapse. You know what they say, if you're on the road to vengeance, you should dig two graves” 

"I don't intend to take vengeance on anything..."

"No, and that makes it even more absurd. Your reasons diverge between shades so rickety and unpredictable that it is difficult to distinguish your motivations. One might even say that you view everything as a simple game; but your self-centered perception of reality prevents you from seeing such things as consequences. You consider yourself unreachable and perfect, you have come out unscathed from so many situations that you do not care anymore, and you have survived from others that have left you on the verge of death. You will not stop, even if you end up with a thousand broken bones in the hospital. That's who you are, and even more so if it's for Kyle”

"I am amused at how you think that Jew is some kind of epicenter for my behavior or whatever" she smiled softly. 

"He is... and I'm telling you, you should create lines. If you keep ignoring the boundaries, Cartman, you're going to end up with a very bad result. Believe me," I tilted my head at the words, leaning back in the chair amused by the conversation. I haven't had one of these in a very long time. 

"Oh, do you impose limits on yourself? I mean, if you're so sure of that solution, it must be for a reason," she took a deep breath at the question, her eyes fixed on nothing in particular, pretending to be stuck on the cover of that book that had lost her attention earlier. 

She smiled in a broken, ironic way. 

"I have so many limits, fat ass, that they could be considered a whole system on their own," she then leaned against the back, raising her face to the ceiling to close her exhausted eyes "Yes yes, spare me the commentary. I am a hypocritical blablabla..."

"I always wondered how you didn't get back earlier the day Bebe woke up. I mean, you were in the institute, sure you could feel it before everyone else..." she bit her lip in tedium. 

"You are one sharp motherfucker, huh?" I shrugged my shoulders "I could feel her... yeah, but what could I do? If just walking up to her made my heart almost jump out of my chest to go after her" she let out a soft laugh. 

Somehow, any false trace of humour in her countenance seemed to be some kind of perfectly manufactured mask, and yet deliberately artificial in its very perfection. 

"I had to go to the bathroom, and take some toilet paper, and dip it in this ink they use for markers. Then..." she let out another soft laugh at the anecdote "Then I made two little balls and stuck them up my nose..." she looked away, that smile as bitter as... I don't know, it was hard to read in its entirety "I think I was a little... wasted when I got to the yard" 

I accompanied her with a smile of amusement at the idea. I hadn't noticed it at the time, I don't think anyone did in the midst of the chaos anyway. 

"Did it work?" she breathed deeply, probably searching for the answer, how hard was it to find? 

"I guess, I didn't throw myself at her if that..." 

" _Eric T. Cartman, you are wanted in the counselor's office_ " I wrinkled my nose in annoyance. 

"Won't you go?" 

"There'll just be a bunch of old men wanting to take me to their shitty alpha boarding schools, put me on a leash so that when I'm the character they need they can position me wherever they think is most convenient" she arched her eyebrows then straightened up again. 

"You can choose, you know?" 

"The problem Wendy, is that I don't want to choose. A choice implies a limited number of options, and just thinking about it is fucking lame”

"Because you don't fit any of the options" she spoke in mockery. 

"Because they're probably all crap, I'm better than that." 

"Yes yes, your ass is better than everything else, for sure" I rolled my eyes in disgust. 

"I'll do whatever I want, and if I don't feel like going to one of those shitty boarding schools. 

"You're kind of fucked up then, because we're the ones... relatively speaking, with the most free will in the system, in case you haven't noticed. Even though free will in the modern era is reduced to the idea of being able to earn and spend your money as you please”

"A pretty basic concept," she nodded. 

"We are free then, because we are those who by nature accumulate more goods... those who have more acquisitive power, those who have more freedom when it comes to disposing of the world" I narrowed my gaze then. 

"It doesn't seem so bad if you put it that way," she tilted her head. 

"That depends on your concept of freedom, asshole. Mine is not reduced to the number of zeros in my bank account; but what does it matter what I think now, if in ten years I will end up reviewing every now and then my participation in the stock market, or the utility of my last investment..." I clicked my tongue then, in irritation at her stupid contradictions. 

"Poor Wendy, she'll have to be a millionaire one day. How much do you cry alone in your room about it? "I asked contemptuously. She snorted away in tedium. 

"As much as you cry for your crackhead mother and nonexistent father" oh, that was low, even for her.

"Nah. You sure cry as much as fucking Stan does for you. The poor thing, being in love with a bitch of this caliber" she let out air in a display of perfectly controlled anger.

"Go to hell," she finally said after a moment.

"No Wendy, I don't want to go to your house” 

I stood up to walk out of the place, not saying goodbye or exchanging any kind of formality. 

If I had stayed to argue, it was because my options were not that many, I could go to the classroom, or to the counselor's room... or I could go home, play video games and eat garbage until I fell asleep. 

Yes, the latter seemed ideal. 

* * *

I checked the place in silence, this small house hidden between two tall buildings in the red light district of South Park. Dark porch, closed windows covered with curtains, this air really dissonant with its sinful surroundings. 

I advanced reluctantly. I didn't have much idea what to do or what to say, Wendy just gave me the pieces of the puzzle, I had to put it together. Luckily for her I was probably better at this. 

Even a few steps from the door I couldn't hear anything from inside. By the time I stopped to knock, the distant murmur of doubtful steps reached my ear. There was no exchange of words, or major movement other than that of just one person. He was approaching the door. 

It opened after a while, probably after staring at my face for a few seconds in the peephole. 

"Bill Miller," he shrugged, looking around, " I come on behalf of Wendy," his eyebrows arched in surprise then. He stepped back to make way for me. I entered without bothering to detail the place, I didn't need to stay here long. 

I took out my cell phone. 

"Name?" he asked inquisitively. I took a deep breath. 

"Kyle Broflovski" 

"I thought she no longer required my services, Kenneth is gone after all" the news had moved fast apparently, although it had been more than a week since his departure... 

"There's still something" and I found the picture. I smiled and turned to him, "You know why they took him, don't you? 

"I had nothing to do with what he was doing, I was just taking some of his supplies, I was giving him money in return. I just..." I let go of a dismissive breath, showing how little I cared about that. 

"Bill, you know whoever took Kenny doesn't give a shit how deep the connections are, as long as they exist. If you're using the same substance he used to make the pills, you're already on target" and he frowned, clearly cornered. 

He was just a scared teenager after all. Lucky for me, we all were. Dealing with people like that was a thousand times easier. 

"So he was taken for... for the suppressors deal after all." 

"Of course they took it away because of the suppressors, and the huge network that connects you to it. What else?" I lied as blatantly as only Cartman could. So much time by his side left sequels, it seems. 

I heard his heartbeat start to gallop like a wild horse gradually. 

"But we can do something about it," he looked up at me. He still didn't trust me, but it didn't matter, as long as he saw the picture he would do it. "Do you recognize this person?" and I extended a photograph of Cartman in his direction... his frown grew almost immediately. 

"What about him?" he spoke, not hiding the weariness in his voice. 

"I will put everything in his name, any trace of information that relates this network to a unique mind will be directed to him," I finally spoke as his heartbeat began to descend slowly, but surely "You could add yours, we could make this something deliberately bigger. The greater the weight of their crimes, the greater the emphasis they will place on searching for him, and therefore the less emphasis they will place on you, or anybody else” 

"Do you know how difficult that is? As far as I know they've been operating for two or three years now, you can't just alter every connection from that long ago... you can't just fool the whole world" I smiled at the disbelief in his tone, I guess that kind of behavior was due to lack of perspective. You only had to look at the big picture to know which tiles to alter, and I was particularly good at putting things into perspective. 

"Just do what I say, it won't take me much longer than a few days" 

Until Friday. By Friday everything would be ready. 


	14. Collision, death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo this will be a long one. Some warnings: 
> 
> Explicit sex, asphyxiation, murder, mention of depression and suicide, and a lot of hate sex.

Only one week... less, five days, from Monday to Friday, a countdown... 

I hated it when everything was reduced to a countdown, events against the clock which led us to a common destiny. And there was nothing I hated more in this world, absolutely nothing, than to share even a fragment of myself, of my life with him. 

"Obey me... you know where to push, you're smart enough" she spoke amidst moans, her legs encircling my hips, her wet walls encircling my barely hard member. 

I could not cum, and yet she had already done so. 

I hesitated and she clicked her tongue in annoyance, then licked her blood-toned lips while bringing my hands to her neck. 

"Don't stop pressing, until I order otherwise" and she positioned my fingers along her carotids, two long veins stretched along the sides of her white, defined neck. A white gold necklace with an emerald rested on her bare chest like the attire of a corpse on its bed.

I chewed my lip still reticent. 

I had to obey, even when I didn't have the need to. After all, we had agreed that behind the threshold of her room her orders would be my law. 

One last order. 

She smiled at my slight pressure as her hips moved against me in slow, placid circles, her belly dancing along in a sensuality only befitting one who fully enjoys the act, so dissonant and arbitrary, in contrast to the tears that had flowed from her eyes from the beginning. 

And I didn't understand it. 

She was in pain, she seemed to be suffering the loss of a being worthy of all her esteem, she seemed to hate every second away from me as if I were the other end of this red thread of destiny that everyone seemed to crave so desperately. She seemed to love me, even though we had only seen each other for no more than two or three hours for five days. 

And for me, all this was just a sting in the neck and a routine to follow in pursuit of my victory. 

And here she was, asking me to press her neck. I didn't understand why, I didn't understand her desire, I didn't understand her acting or her tears, I didn't understand her obsession or her need for me, or her ravings, or her moaning. 

I felt the flows of blood under the touch of my hand, her thin complexion as the only barrier between those streams being pumped into her brain and my fingers pressing in fear. 

"More" she moaned, burying her long, manicured nails in my wrists, tearing in frustration, a hint of despair seeping into her voice. I took a deep, fearful breath, following her commands. 

No more than ten seconds, pressing too long would be dangerous. And yet this sensation began to rise in my chest as the countdown began, as her walls contracted more insistently around my cock, as her hands urged mine not to fear the consequences, as a smile of contentment formed on her lips amidst muffled moans, her white teeth pressing against each other, her eyelids down, her skin losing life, like a heart whose blood is drained mercilessly. 

And animal instincts came into play, a wild dance in the center of uncovered souls, exposed to such viciousness, faithful accomplices of the darkness and silence of the room under the outer bustle of the city. She did not ask me to stop, and a part of me wished that she would not.

Like a flash of euphoric excitement, this need for control saturated my chest in a stream that I would never have recognized as my own. And it terrified me, and I adored it, and it made me sick . 

Her palpitation was losing strength, her complexion was acquiring this cold so... pleasant, so typical of her; and she did not ask me to stop, even when her strength was descending, even when her nails had stopped burying themselves in my wrists, even when her legs stopped encircling my hip, resting at our sides while I got out of her without stopping pressing. 

So good... so good that I didn't mind her lack of signal, or the fifteenth second. So damn good that I could finally manage to cum. 

I bent over her, breathing on lips that lacked breath, cold, inert. This carnal desire; this pleasure that provided me the capacity to decide about the life of someone who, for reasons of probability, should be superior to me; this certain degree of complete freedom, of mocking my chains, of joking my nature, overwhelmed me for a few seconds dressed as a drug slipping through my bloodstream. 

An irrational complacency, my heart took flight towards this storm of armageddon magnitude, where collisions of emotions were like the stir of hot and cold winds rising into the air in raging currents.

And my thumbs palpated her inert trachea while beyond my psyche everything was collapsing with such ease that I feared I would be lost; while beyond my chest the satisfaction of eradicating everything in its path, these unwanted limits that caused nothing but pain to my actions, invaded me like a statement of unbeatable certainty.

And I loved this, because for a second I was the one in control. 

But there is no high point without a fall. The heart that flew into the storm was now beating like an autumn leaf, afraid to die, and my thumbs on his windpipe began its shaking as a routine process. I held a small groan of surprise in my throat, and called his name as I felt her cheeks even though I knew it was as useless as... I don't know. 

I looked around, for my phone. Nine eleven and my thumb shook as I called. I left it on speakerphone as I walked around the place, grabbing my clothes as I hurriedly answered routine questions, controlling my voice as well as the agitation around me allowed. 

"I found her with... a rope around her neck, on her knees, I untied her. She won't wake up" I lied in the false hope that she would be saved if the ambulance arrived on time, as I closed behind me and headed for the elevator. 

I hung up after giving the name of the hotel, and trusted that they would not be here before my departure. 

I kept my trembling hands between my coat, detailing the patterns of the boring elevator wallpaper, a huge mirror from the middle to the ceiling reflecting the number of floors descending, my inert face... no expression on it, just this trace of disbelief, as if I were in a dream, just waiting for the doors to open, just waiting for my consciousness to return, to wake the fuck up. 

I found myself in the lobby in seconds, and throughout all these days so many looks had been fixed on the back of my neck, that the feeling already seemed to have become a part of me, as if I was destined to carry that weight constantly on my shoulders. 

Did they know? no. They did not, an Omega would never, ever commit such a crime against anyone who marked him. It was almost as absurd, as a newborn baby stabbing its mother, how could immorality go beyond those almost sacred boundaries provided by nature? An irrevocable bond, a bond that was more than a sign of possession, it was a contract of vassalage. And death to the vassal, who curses to his lord, and death to the vassal, who pays no tribute to his lord. 

But I was not born a vassal. 

No. 

I was born abnormal, breaking chains was what I did. And breaking chains is what I would do. 

Cold wind blew, as well as this essence that seemed to accompany my sins, like a guide to the blind, trying to lead it through the darkness of human perversity, a lifeline in the midst of that vast and viscous ocean that was the consciousness of the heretic. A lifesaver of better misery. 

Cartman. 

I saw the car parked patiently at the other side of the street, his gaze falsely attentive on his cell phone screen as he drank hypocritically casual from a milkshake from the nearest McDonalds. 

He turned in my direction, a smile growing on his face as those orbs made of the very hell camouflaged as paradise stuck around my neck.

The sting was no longer present. 

She had died. And for my fortune or misfortune I felt nothing. 

He opened the car door, I felt my footsteps follow his trail by simple inertia, feeling my wolf cape, my sheep cape, being left behind. And I didn't know what it was, because I didn't fit into any of those shades, white, black... I didn't even feel grey. It was a color without a name, nor a scorpion, nor a frog. Neither hunter nor prey. 

I entered the car, his scent running down to the smallest corner. And I took a deep breath as the engine started purring, while the distant sound of ambulances rushed by at an alarming speed. 

My previously trembling hands, like an artificial way to feel something, rested calmly in my pockets, while my heartbeat descended to its routine rhythm. Wherever they had taken Kenny, I would probably follow him eventually. 

I knew I had to ask so many questions, I knew it was time to hate him, call him a thousand names and probably associate that alpha's death with his presence... because that's what he did, because that's who he was and his very existence always represented the suffering of someone else's existence. 

But I just kept silent, absorbed in the road as he took the main avenue, skipping a traffic light that just turned red without any consequence, advancing rapidly in the opposite direction to South Park. I didn't care, wherever he took me, it couldn't be worse than what was coming. 

And nothing really mattered to me anymore, because my life had stopped making sense weeks ago. Any attempt to do something, it was just the scratches on the coffin lid of someone who was buried alive, and the air was running out, the strength to try and rip the wood as well, because above me there was nothing more than ten feet of dirt. 

I couldn't say I was tired, I couldn't say I was sorry. I couldn't say so many things right now, what was wrong with me? I couldn't even cry like last time, I couldn't even get angry like last time. 

I took my cell phone, opened Wendy's chat room. 

"How 's it going?" This strange consensus filled the place, we were two emperors whose armies have fallen, and we didn’t have anything to do but look at the bodies at our feet, at the lands reduced to infertile ashes; not knowing what else to fight for. 

" _ They are looking for him all over South Park, no fucking idea where he went, but his house is uninhabitable by now _ " she replied after a few minutes. 

I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to look at him, and yet I could only breathe in his essence which seemed to soothe my chest. Such an anesthesia of reality, anesthesia that not even a thousand glasses of muscatel could provide. I closed my eyes trying to get drunk on it despite the repulsion that act provoked in me, breathing deeply, drinking from that elixir of a thousand carnal desires... filling me up before I lost everything. 

"Can you leave that end-of-the-world face? It's starting to fuck me up" I smiled at the comment. 

"End of the world... I wish" I murmured listlessly, my voice trembling... a broken feeling interspersed with fearful evocations of my emotional instability. At any moment the realization would knock on the door, at any moment it would break me like the damn piece of porcelain I was feeling right now. 

"You've always been the smart one in the group" 

"No... no. Shut the fuck up for a month, please. I don't want to talk" otherwise I don't know what would come out of me, because the terror started running from deep in my chest and rolling around like a thousand pigs in manure and putrid food in my belly. Nausea filled my mouth as I once again imagined her face static against the white sheets, and I quickly rolled down the window to vomit what little I had eaten throughout the day. 

"Agh, fucking disgusting Kahl" and once again, my hands were shaking against the leather and metal edge as I ripped off the dust from the car that had probably not been washed since Liane left. 

Tears began to flow involuntarily, I leaned my forehead against the glass halfway up, this absurd pain was bathing me every second, whose name moved between a thousand and one emotions.

Who was I supposed to be? What the hell was I doing? Why had I ended up like this? 

Whimpers began to pierce the filters in my throat, giving my back to Cartman as much as I could. 

I just tried to do the impossible to get this horrible feeling of decomposition out of my chest; but it was impossible. The tears didn't clean up anything, they didn't spill over anything, they were necrosis that had been growing for days, weeks, rotting, and removing it wouldn't necessarily magically clear up the infection. 

I felt lost, I felt disfigured, I felt myself breaking down into fragments of nothing that didn't really belong to me. I was falling into a twisted game, I was giving in to my desire to win... win what? win who? win over Cartman? win over the system? 

I was losing my mind, I was losing my mind and there was nothing I could do about it. No matter how much I tore the lid off the coffin, no matter how much I poured out the pus of infection, no matter how much I screamed my frustration, I would still be falling and losing and dying.

I huddled against the corner eventually, closing my eyes, bringing my knees up to my chest, sinking my face into them. 

She ordered it, I was to obey... but, but I had to stop. Why didn't I? I'm not an idiot, I knew the time when the practice could become dangerous, I knew the implications, I knew the results, I knew that moments later I would be in this state, I knew I would throw up, I would cry, I knew the result from start to finish... and yet the craving for instant gratification overcame the permanent consequences. 

Music began to sound distant as everything in front of me was reduced to the darkness of my eyelids. And my thoughts weighed more than any sound, than any aroma... 

I don't know how much time of torture passed before my tired conscience gave way to the emptiness of sleep; and soon I found myself buried in nightmares, her white neck once again in my hands, her whimpering intermingled with drowned moans sounded distant like a twisted requiem, requiem that flowed from the same lips that drank delicately from that rounded glass, after inhaling the aroma of red wine, while her pupils dilated shortly because of the pleasure her developed sense of smell provided her.

" _ Ninety-eight percent of the population will never appreciate a wine like us, sometimes I feel sorry for them _ " she once said after getting drunk on the simple aroma. Words without an owner now. 

And it was repeated, again and again and again and again. 

By the time I opened my eyes, a layer of sweat covered my whole body; the diver I was wearing was soaked for this point, and every slight movement generated in me this really unpleasant feeling of sticky wetness. I wrinkled my nose in complete displeasure by opening my eyelids... finding nothing but darkness again. 

And as the seconds passed, the realization that my hands were immobilized began to beat to the rhythm of the realization that my legs were also tied, that what was preventing my sight was nothing more than some kind of bandage or tape, and that my speech was silenced by something already soaked in my saliva. 

Terror washed over me like a bucket of cold water running down my spine, prompting me to try to move. 

I was not in a closed place, I was on a bed... 

I tried to take a deep breath, to lower my heartbeat, trying to act as rationally as possible. 

I could hear an engine... loud, too loud to be a car, and the smell of him was nowhere to be found, nowhere near. 

Cartman wasn't heading south, where? Not South Park, they were looking for him all over the damn town, probably for this point in Denver too. They were probably looking for him a thousand times more than they were looking for me. 

Denver, Denver... the engine, he was going to the Denver airport, we were on a plane and complete silence boarded the site. 

A bed on a plane? Were there beds on commercial flights? Surely yes; but not so big. In that case it was not a commercial flight, maybe a private plane. Whose? Who would Cartman know that had a damn private plane? 

And that group he was in came to my mind. Was it one of them? 

No, helping someone who had just lost any trace of good reputation would be detrimental to their interests, and even though Cartman was a pretty valuable resource, it wasn't enough to throw it all away to save him. No, it wasn't that group. Who, who, who... 

And the answer was on a par with another question: Why was I here? Why did he take me away from that place? Because he needed me, who could have a private plane that needed me... someone who needed something as valuable as an abnormal.

He was going to sell me... smuggling, was that it? Was there smuggling out of the country? Were omegas being taken from the US to other places? 

Yes, probably to first world countries as well. 

I was his ticket out of hell... his golden fucking ticket. 

They wouldn't hurt me then. The ties were not tight to the point of leaving marks; the bandage was of soft cloth, I would not even have felt it if I had not opened my eyelids, or if I had not felt the wetness of my tears on it; and what covered my mouth sought only to do its function of soothing my cries, but not to remove them completely. 

My muscles lost tension and I thought about the options in complete silence... certainly my chances of getting out of this situation were greater than the chances of getting out of the situation that awaited me if I stayed in Denver. 

I smiled at the puzzle solved, my head clearing for a second of the remorse that was weighing me down. Just for a second.

And I closed my eyes once again, burying myself once more in the nightmares, because I had no choice but to suffer in silence, because there was no one to cry out to for help.

By the time I opened my eyes again, hard from the dry tears holding my eyelids together like damn glue, the first thing I felt was his scent coming down my nose to dance on the back of my palate like my beloved drug. I took a deep breath, again and again feeling my chest fall under this momentary calm as it always seemed to happen with him.

And there were no bandages, I could not hear the loud engine of the plane but this distant murmur of crowds, the crashing of waves, the moving of the sea. 

I blinked unaccustomed to the darkness, little light filtered in through wide windows that looked out on a completely black exterior, no buildings, no land... just sea. 

I looked around, a static figure was silently watching me on the other side of the room... 

Red lips, gray eyes... blond hair and pale complexion. 

“Kyle" spoke and terror bathed me forcing me to move back in my place. Dizziness struck from my temple as I was cornered against the bed frame; nausea, weakness 

I have never felt so damn helpless in my life. 

"This must be a fucking joke, fucking nightmares" I babbled, not hiding the tremor in my voice, because even if I tried, it would be completely impossible for me to do so. Sweat came down my back again, and my chest started a marathon of pure horror as I saw everything remain static. It remained inert in its place. 

"Don't throw up here, please" and by the time my eyes got completely used to the darkness, I could visualize the figure, the aroma made sense and my whole body relaxed like a trigger that stopped being tightened. 

"Where..." 

"Far away" I looked around. The room was small but relatively comfortable. The windows facing the ocean... 

A boat, cruise ship, yacht, whatever this shit was... 

I looked at him in disbelief. 

"Where are we going?" he breathed deeply, his gaze fixed on this wide expanse of glass towards an untouchable sunset, there was no artificial light to silence the stars; I suppose we were far from any metropolis, on the open sea.

"Algeria for the moment, from there it will be to Italy... then Austria and finally Germany" my jaw fell at the words. 

"What?" 

"Kahl, you blamed me for all the dirty shit from a bunch of people I didn't even know... and, well, I wasn't far behind either” 

I kept silent processing his words, all the things that had brought us to this point, all the acts and the tricks and... it was impossible that the day before we had gone to study as if a future still awaited us. This had completely gone to hell, and it wasn't just my doing. 

No. 

"What did you do?" he arched his eyebrows in curiosity over the question, then let go of a gentle chuckle of amusement. 

"About what?" 

"Why were you waiting outside? How did you know that I..." he waited patiently for the sentence to end. 

"That you what?" this fat bitch. Like a shitty cat playing with his food, he was just enjoying the moment before my fall. He would say something, I would get angry and he would laugh in my fucking face. 

I hated him so damn much, it was almost suffocating. 

"That I would kill that alpha" I ended up too tired of these games. My head hurt like hell, throbbing from the right side of my skull, reaching my ear and part of my jaw. 

He bit his lip then, shrinking his gaze in complete amusement. 

"I didn't know you'd do it, I left it to the... odds one could say" 

"And you did something to put the odds in your favor," he took a deep breath, I didn't have a smell suppressor, I hadn't taken one since... that damn Monday, it was probably Saturday already. I was beginning to give off my scent, both fighting for control in the empty space. 

"How could I, Kahl, it is impossible to alter the odds of such a situation" he said in feigned innocence 

"Not for you" his smile spread then. He just wanted to hear that sentence, he just wanted to hear me allude to his abilities. 

"Did you know that alphas also require certain medications?" 

“No” 

"Butters followed you, I got a picture of the woman, and being an alpha it's not too difficult, with just one picture, to find out who she was. I did my homework and connected the dots. The woman was on a slightly stronger variation of paroxetine, she had recently lost an omega; she needed a way to deal with the depression and anxiety that the loss of a bond can generate" I frowned reluctantly. 

She never talked about it. That's why she was crying? Did she remember another omega or... 

"Anyway, the drug is used for hormonal disorders in women in particular. And you know, Kahl, that alpha wasn't very smart, because if she hadn't taken more than the recommended dose, the odds probably wouldn't have been in my favor” 

"What the fuck..." 

"That drug ironically generates suicidal thoughts, self-destructive behaviors, and a lot of other really usable shit with the right mix of drugs" his almost childish smile made me completely sick. And I could already see it coming. 

I just kept silent, hoping that I could somehow share the blame.

"Friday night? I don't know. I went to that bar before you and her, and... I kindly ordered the bartender to add something extra to the wine he served to the lady. Odourless, a nose of that calibre is hard to fool, lucky for me I have it too. Huh?" for every word a drop of liquid rage began to pour from my chest "A dehinibitor. That's all it took, so that all the shit that that drug could cause, and all the shit that the departure of its previous omega could generate, would overflow... I didn't know how it would happen, or what would happen". 

"Liar" he let go a soft laugh. 

"The favorite choice was choking, I'd read articles where they hung themselves on their knees... some with a trace of a last orgasm. Was that it? Because if it was, believe me, she enjoyed it to the end"

No, no no no, there was still something missing. 

"Just that?" he nodded, placing his hand on his chest. 

"I swear. Just that" a tremor ran down the back of my neck, once again nauseous, my head pounding. No... "What did you expect, that I' d drug you too or some shit like that?" I looked at him radiating hate, not because of his actions, but because he was able to see through my fears "I just left the context Kahl, you had to make it happen. Did it feel good?" and he stood up to start walking towards the bed. I stared at him silently processing his words. 

Did it feel good? 

And the answer was so terrifying to me. So frightening. 

I looked down, disgusted by my wet clothes in sweat, while some music was playing from somewhere on the ship.

"You are an abnormal Kahl... if you were able to do that to the Alpha who marked you. God, you're just... the best, huh?" I managed to identify this almost lascivious bias in the depths of his voice, a low purr that made my whole body tremble... in disgust, in eagerness to hear it once again. 

"You are sick" I spat moving backwards in bed, feeling my whole body tensing up to his almost predatory closeness. 

"I am... I am an abnormal just like you. Only I could mark you, and make you suffer through a custom-made leash, only my leash would fit your delicate neck, Kahl" his tone... so similar to Kenny's when he was talking to that alpha on the phone. I thought it was something just from omegas, those tools... or I was just wandering around too much, trying to focus my head on something different from the cravings that that tone, those orbs and that aroma were starting to generate in the pit of my stomach. 

"Go away. Murderer" I spat in rage forming my hands into fists, fighting more with my own instincts than against him. He was just a reflection of my most mundane desires. It would be useless to beat him to a pulp, because the only thing I would get in return would surely be a fucking hard-on. 

The problem was with myself. 

"Murderer..." he repeated my word, stopping at the foot of the bed, snorting "You'd love it if I accepted complete guilt over your actions, wouldn't you, clearing your conscience by throwing all the crap at me... because you're more concerned about the fact that it was you who did it, than the fact that she' s dead. You're more terrified of the idea of the act than the act itself, and that in turn makes you as sick as the satisfaction you probably should have gotten from doing it. Tell me, did you cum?" 

"Shut up, you don't have a fucking clue what's going on in my head, don't act like I'm as fucked up as you... I'm not." 

"Aw, I don't know who you're trying to convince here, but it's not me" I bit my lip in disgust "I just... " he held back from saying anything. And there was that tone again, and again my chest reacted like a damsel in distress to her fucking hero... or her captor after developing some kind of sickly stockholm syndrome. 

I saw his need to get closer as well as my need to give in. But I felt the disgust and hatred dancing like a constant between the two. So irritating. 

He started to go around the bed, and I couldn't move even an inch. 

"Was it choking?" 

"Shut up." 

"You came" 

“No..." 

"You are lying. You liked it” 

"No... I'm not like that, I don't..." 

"You are abnormal, your very conception implies breaking chains... and we are socially complex creatures, so that aspect, even though it is wild, also transcends your behavior, your reasoning. And this process of awakening, is only the transcendence of animal instincts to more intrinsic aspects of our acting as thinking beings. Be a good boy Kahl, and rationalize the pleasure that comes from having complete control over your captor's life. Because the only thing left for us to do at this point is to rationalize our instincts, and to take them as additional pieces of our shattered psyche" he spoke, pausing at my side. I lifted my face towards him, pupils dilated, his scent becoming... strange, more attractive, more absorbent, like a predisposed drug in the syringe, ready to be injected, millimeters from my vein. 

"And what are you doing? trying to rationalize your desire to fuck me?" His smile was completely absent now. I thought he would snort, or whatever... but he was only silent for a few seconds. 

"I try. But I can't. You have no fucking idea how much I hate this, Kahl" he muttered, soft and yet guttural, like the mist of whisky-soaked ice, rising whitish and turbulent between amber tones, between translucent glass.

And my barriers soon gave way. 

I knelt on the bed, rising to his height, faces to millimeters, aromas dancing like two wolves groping the distance to jump to the neck of the other. I avoided breathing, because it seemed that every inhalation made my barriers disappear. And I could hear his heart pounding... and I wanted to make it pound to the point where it had no choice but to stop, I wanted to make it mine, I wanted... I wanted to shoot myself because that seemed like the only way out of this situation. 

"This is wrong" I finally spoke, a whisper, there was no need to even strain our voices. I could just move my lips and I knew he would understand, or I could just stick my eyes in his and I knew he would understand. 

"It’s better when it feels wrong, Kahl” and soon I felt his hands on my neck, feeling the cold sweat that I couldn't stop... until now "So this is gonna be hella good" 

All the fears, all the regrets seemed unimportant when his eyes scrutinized me in such a... absorbing way. 

"You are so free, a freedom as provocative as the rose that is not beautiful until it is in the vase, Kahl. But you resist, and you hold on to the stupid rose bush by pushing them all away with your stupid thorns... but I don't give a shit about the thorns, I don't give a shit about all the damage you can do to me in return. You know why?" I passed saliva remembering to breathe again, like a mechanical process, counting, tasting. 

"No..." he frowned in frustration. 

"Because I am the only one who can take it" and he charged his forehead against mine... it burned, his touch burned from the very need I didn't know I had for him... "You have taken everything from me, Kahl, and so here I am... giving you the chance to take even more from me. You don't know how much I hate this, you don't know, you don't..." 

"I know..." and I raised my face so that the tips of our noses brushed against one another. Warm, we moved our faces slowly and gently around each other to feel the touch, like pleading for water in the midst of a drought. 

But neither was willing to go any further, because this time there would be no Mr. Kitty to interrupt us. 

I listened to the sound of saliva coming down his throat, his eyelashes moving against my cheek, his breath crashing against my lips like the soft blanket with which a mother covers her child, like the cold dirt with which a murderer buries its victim. 

To rationalize this... how can one rationalize this? What magic formula or logical line was needed to make sense of the distance we so desperately wanted to shorten? 

He had pushed me to commit terrible acts, had tortured me, humiliated me... had used me, and would continue to do so; he had reduced me to nothing, insulted me, spat on me, beaten me up; so many things that there was no existing list that contained all the havoc he had caused in me. And here he was in front of me, causing one more, spitting at me, laughing at the top of his lungs at my need. 

I knew that he cared little for his, even if he claimed to hate it, surely rationalizing it for him was to reduce it to an act similar to breathing or eating. I was nothing more than air to him then, food. 

There would be nothing here different from the satisfaction of a primary and therefore primitive need. 

Well, I could do that too then. 

I broke the distance, like a grave robber who can no longer turn back, because the coffin is now irreparable, because the concrete that held everything in place had collapsed into pieces that would never find their way back, because the corpse watched silently, inquisitively, as the sole witness to its sins. 

And our lips met boiling, and his fingers on my neck buried themselves painfully as a punishment for my daring. I walked away again looking for his gaze, shadows dancing in it like threats unspeakable by its very false nature. 

"I will show you Cartman, how little this matters to me, how insignificant you are to me" I murmured against his lips without taking my eyes off him for a second. I felt him smile. 

"Let's make this a contest then" and his hands went down to my chest only to push me in a wild motion against the nearest wall. 

I fell sitting against a small wooden deck, the sheets cushioning the blow, and yet I could not help but groan from the low impact on the wood in my back. Before I could react properly I felt my legs being grabbed in an absurdly crude manner to be pulled down as if he were arranging some sort of doll on his collection shelf. His least favorite. 

And soon I found myself lying on the bed, hips up, him on top of me. 

All so... quick and systematic. It didn't bother me, it was perfect this way in fact. 

In, out, in... like breathing or feeding. And I wouldn't be left behind. 

I lowered my hands to his belt in a hurry. He reached into my mouth and soon his teeth were tearing it apart, pulling my lower lip, and biting with a force that instigated this flash of rage and excitement in my chest. Within seconds this glimmer of metal covered my palate, just as his dick found itself in my hands. 

And we were eager, eager for an outcome where we no longer had to see our faces, accelerating the collision to give us sudden death, way better than a slow, painful one. 

I felt the drops of presemen on his glans with my thumb, initiating a rough swing. One of his hands was leaning to my side, the other rose to bury itself in my hair as he pushed our lips together more insistently. 

No, there wasn't enough closeness, it was so exasperating, so frustrating this need to simply lose ourselves in each other's bodies, that it was sickening in itself. 

And my hips searched for his, the fabric of my jeans rubbing against his cock in my hands, anxiety approaching me as his scent danced through my nostrils, came down the back of my tongue leaving this spicy, addictive trail, and filled my lungs as if it possessed me from within... 

I wanted him so badly that it hurt. It really hurt. 

That pain was reflected in the strength with which I bit his lip back, in the rage with which I caressed his cock, in the fury with which I extracted mine to feel him against me... and it burned, both erections in my hand, fluids intermingling, this aroma of sex starting to play with the essences of possessiveness that we distilled as a cocktail of perdition. A mixture that seemed to be destined to be. 

His hand that caressed my hair went down to my hip, pulling on my jeans in a rude way. 

The sea breeze seeping through one of the open windows made my skin tremble; but his fingers touching my naked body seemed to make everything around us disappear, vanish into thin air like a weightless reality to our acts. 

I felt his fingers bury themselves possessively against my skin before moving far enough away to bring my legs up to his shoulders, his erection, intimidating, now resting in my entrance like a dagger in the trachea of his next victim. 

Our glances collided with each other and a truly cruel smile rose at his corners. He bent down to my ear. 

"I will make you cry" he muttered. 

"You can try" and in one motion, though predictable, surprising, he began his rough and rugged entry. 

My breath got stuck in the face of the torment, feeling myself being torn apart from the inside. My hands searched for the sheets, and my teeth were stuck in my lower lip looking for an equally painful distraction. But there was nothing within reach that could rival such torture. 

I held back a groan of pain, and as he sentenced, tears threatened to flow from my eyelids. 

No, no, no, no. 

I held it back, looking away from him, feeling that false paradise in his eyes detailing me completely fascinated. 

And I knew he was in pain, he must have been. But he didn't care, because the main purpose was to cause me pain; hurting himself in the process was just collateral damage. 

As he said a few minutes ago, he was the only one who could pull the flower out of the rose bush without worrying about the thorns, and what's more, the son of a bitch probably enjoyed it. 

My lip was already destroyed at this point, between his teeth and mine, I felt it swollen and covered with this metallic tint; and yet I pressed harder because this moment, which shouldn't last more than a few minutes, was extending into what seemed like years... 

Dizziness went to my head from the pain, nausea synonymous of weakness danced through my chest, and my legs trembled from the wounds generated as he worked his way through me; but, not a damn tear came out of my eyes. 

No. I could die here, impaled like a bloody pig, but tears would not flow from me. Never. 

But I could feel them dancing in my eyes, stuck like a prisoner in his cell. I their jailer of course... imprisoning myself. 

I was going crazy. 

And it stopped, sex fluids mixed with blood, I could feel it, I could smell it... 

For a moment everything was reduced to nothing, static in pain, my erection far from existing. We got what we wanted, to make this a bizarre and painful act, to desecrate it, to make it nothing, to spit on it and laugh in its face. We would hurt ourselves as much as necessary; in this way we would reduce to nothing this physical contact that burned so much, that hurt so much. 

"Look at me" I listened to his command and almost instinctively obeyed. My air fled before the dilation of his pupils, iris absorbed by this really frightening black, just a thin line of paradise at the edge of that abyss, an almost exact plagiarism of the very hell that would consume my soul as the owner that proclaimed to be of my life . 

And my tears were not shed in fear... 

He was not smiling. He just watched me in silence like the insensitive killer who contemplates his inert work, his dead piece. 

I breathed, I had forgotten to do it... and the aromas came back to me like a constant, the pain making them distant while my walls got used to it... it hurt, it hurt too much. 

"I want you to tell me..." he spoke, a murmur barely audible "... What it felt like to take the life of the alpha who marked you like an animal" the demand made my chest quiver in emotions whose names were too low to even be thought of. Simply to feel that was a sin in itself. 

"You are sick," I muttered, a judgment directed more at me than at him... perhaps for both of us. 

"How did it feel?" I detailed his orbs in silence, not understanding what particular need he wished to satisfy by hearing me say that. Perhaps one too sick to be conceived by anyone other than a fucking psychopath. 

"Good..." I finally murmured " _ Really _ good" and his smile spread with satisfaction. He bit his lip then, his gaze lowering into mine... 

"You are perfect Kyle" a chaste kiss was given at the corner of my lips "Perfect for me..." he murmured coming out of my interior to re-enter in a wild thrust that made my spine arch in pure pain.

“Fuck!” My nails were buried in the sheets, my eyelids lowered as a last barrier to my tears while his words resounded as a sentence that he knew would never let me sleep in peace again...

“Fucked you will be” Perfect for him. As a tool? as an omega? as an abnormal? as a what? 

And a second thrust, a third and my lips began to lose control of my moaning of flagellum ... 

"C-Cartman... stop..." I murmured, the plea fleeing from my throat at one point because of the pain so aberrant that this act involved "No more..." I tried to walk away, but his hands held me in my place possessive, one buried in my hair, another fixed on my hips. 

"If you cry, maybe I will" he spoke, not giving up the rhythm, and rage overwhelmed the pain like goddamn magic. I released air with instant regret for my words, biting my lip more intensely, burying my fingers in the sheets with greater tenacity. 

"Die" I spat. 

And swallowing all the pain, in a display of savagery I moved my hips against him to invite him to go deeper despite the tearing I felt from the inside, gathering my teeth to the groan of pain that the act caused me . 

But there was something else, an almost pleasant bias at the end of the torment, the intoxication after the bitterness of the liquor, dying that last moan of pain, in turn of lasciviousness. 

And that almost fleeting test amidst the overflowing torture was enough to make me addicted to it. I did not want it; the pain was easier to handle, because it involved only black tones, easily distinguishable and qualifying in my conscience, easy to point out as wrong, easy to punish, hate, despise. Pleasure, on the other hand, was unpleasant and impure, not white, not black. A hateful and confusing shade of gray that I didn't want to have in my head at all. 

But he noticed it, and like the wolf that lays bare its neck in a moment of stupidity, he pounced on that trace of weakness to tear me apart. 

“Don’t  _ you _ dare…” and he reproduced the angle with an amused smile for the stream of pleasure that must have been present in my expression, as well as the almost immediate flash of hate that followed “Holly…” 

"So fucking hot…" he murmured with this delicious hoarse voice, his smile expanded, initiating the swaying, modifying the rhythm, the strength, only in order to extract from me more of those moans of pleasure, like the damned demon in search of my soul, stripping me of it with each thrust, with each involuntary whimper... 

But his words resonated far away. Rationalizing instincts… 

I was so confused, so lost... so damn lost. I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't know where the hell I was going... I felt like I wasn't even myself anymore at this exact moment. 

So I just succumbed. Tiredness from threats drove me to the most pleasant, the easiest to accept. 

“More” so I pushed my hip towards him once more, and surprise covered his face, followed by this strange feeling that I could not recognize… 

I closed my eyelids, pleasure beginning to replace the torment with every thrust, moans governing my whimpering, desire incarnating in my shattered heart, eradicating my purest essence... shattering the last traces of clarity left in it. 

And the ascent to paradise after the journey into hell began, my consciousness now lay fragmented on the deck of the ship, and the breeze caressed the unbridled toil of two beasts seeking to satisfy their own desires in a hurry to finish, but eager to continue. 

So many arbitrarinesses enveloped us, that our lips exchanging caresses, that my legs encircling his hip, that his cock ripping the life out of me in brutal thrusts, that his hands relaxing his touch contradicting his savagery... were no more than the elements of a paradox. 

My hands searched for his skin amidst the despair for more, I felt his cheeks, absorbing his gaze, trying to find something I did not know exactly what it was. I was beginning to worship those eyes. Not even God could penetrate my soul with such intensity, or condemn me to hell with the dilation of pupils, with the blink of an eye. 

I bit my lip feeling the orgasm build up at the base of my pelvis, but I didn't want to stop, I knew he didn't either. 

My completely erect member was rubbing between our stomachs, his hand went down to it starting this wild massage, up, down along the circumcised erection... 

And more moaning came over me, sliding my hands along his neck, the back of his head, wishing to tear the cloth that prevented me from continuing to feel his whole damn body. Damn it, I had to get him naked before the night was over, or else I would feel my heart breaking in despair. 

Soon sperm from my property ran between us, staining my clothes, his, and not long after I felt him stop completely. 

He leaned his forehead against mine and I looked up to see his eyelids closed, his brow furrowed in concentration, his lower lip between his teeth as a guttural growl of utter pleasure slithered like a thousand snakes in bloody heat down his throat. 

It had sounded so damn good, I felt my erection rise from the ashes with that simple sound... 

"I need to hear that again" he smiled against my lips, I frowned realizing I had said that out loud. Damn it. 

He slipped out, and with my simple sense of smell I could feel the mixture of blood and sperm leaving a trail behind him as he left... 

It hurt, and yet I wanted to feel it once again. 

He crawled away… lying next to me. I looked at him in silence... 

God, I would feel terrible about this tomorrow, physically, emotionally, psychologically. I already did. 

"In a couple of days... we'll be in Algeria," he said, his voice trailing off. “I' ll have a flight to Berlin directly. You' ll have to..." 

"Do the trip alone... I understand. You will leave me" a few seconds of complete absence of sound followed that statement. 

"Yes. Not for long, anyway" I let go a soft laugh of complete disbelief. Fuck it hurt. 

"Do you remember when... when we were drunk and you promised you wouldn't change your ideals even if the circumstances did" he didn't answer, I knew he remembered "This is no different... another broken promise. I should get used to them I guess... although, being you, it's really easy" 

"I'm not going to promise anything, Kahl, because it doesn't need to be promised. If I want to do it, I'll do it... and you know I always get what I want" I snorted in disgust. 

Perfect for him, he said. Perfect to be used... How? He was an alpha after all. 

And there were so many things to think about right now. The body in that hotel, my family, my life, my new destiny, Cartman. I was saturated with worries; as soon as they felt him go away from me, they came back to weigh on my back like a thousand rocks. 

Tears came back under my eyelids from all the turmoil of consequences, from all the range of uncertainty. And I closed my eyes cursing because of my stupid sentimentality; after all, I always tried to convince myself that nothing mattered anymore, I was an Omega, nothing is worthwhile for an Omega, right? but here I was, a child crying because he couldn't see his family anymore, because he had committed unforgivable acts... because he had been sold like meat. 

I reluctantly arranged the few clothes that had been moved to curl up in my place, to wrap myself up in the soft blankets. 

He just kept silent contemplating the scene. 

And I had so many damn questions, but I knew he would not answer them; because he did not know, or because it would be more amusing for him to see me suffer in the unknown.

I only covered myself completely by trying to ignore him, letting myself sink into self-pity that would consume me at least for the rest of the night, because there was no one else who could pity me. 

I was all alone now. 

I felt his weight shift from my bed. He was gone; then soft steps along the floor mat as I listened to him zipper up and soon put his clothes back on. The door to the balcony opened. 

He came back and once again his weight was soon felt on the bed, not completely. Soon arms were around me and I tensed up in my place. 

"What the hell are you doing?" I tried to put the blankets down or something, but the son of a bitch picked me up with everything and sheets. My back screamed in pain as soon as I found myself against him; but as always, like magic, his scent calmed me; as did the slow throbbing of his chest, this almost improper warmth that emanated as he carried me off somewhere. 

"I am not sleepy" I heard him say "And if I cannot sleep, neither can you" Cold struck In spite of the blankets, I felt him get me down and I could finally uncover at least my face to find myself on the couch on the balcony of the room, the almost infinite extension of the sea to the distance, where a thin line of lights, like warm colored souls in the void, remained static and silent against its diffuse reflection in the black sea. 

I had settled in on the half-side, and still the pressure on my underside was quite torturous, but the sight, along with other factors, made the ordeal bearable. 

I don't know what time it was, but the other balconies were unoccupied, the only lights on in the ship were those at the top, which reflected lazily in the night swell that hit the hull serenely. 

I shivered at the wind, watching as he sat beside me. 

I didn't want to talk, to speak to him... I didn't want to engage in any kind of conversation with this son of a bitch. I would not. 

"I thought... you couldn't take anything more from me. And here I am, days away from losing you" he spoke distantly, mechanically... empty. I looked at him sideways and found nothing but an inert expression of... I don't know, there wasn't much in his face, just long circles under his eyes and sore lips; his pupils darkened by the absence of light. 

"Don't play the victim, clearly you're not," he smiled softly, and I only returned to the infinite sky overflowing with life in its expanse. 

"Yes. The only victim here is Kahl Broflovski, of course... of course. I am the villain, and you are the damsel in distress who has to rescue herself over and over again. I wonder if you will succeed again" I breathed deeply at his words "I still don't understand how you managed to put so many pieces together against me. Wendy's omega network, that asshole's traffic network... what was his name... the one at KFC, damn it. I don't even know his fucking name... my anti-elitist speeches, my trips. I've always known you were smart, but this time you outdid yourself Jew" his smile then gave way to weariness "If you hadn't... done that at the hotel, I'd be the only one affected right now. And I knew what you were doing, I could smell your scent in Wendy's 'office', Butters told me about some of your meetings with certain people... I could try to stop you but I was really curious. You connected all the information so thoroughly that it was irrefutable to the eye, probably even beyond the visible was irrefutable” 

"What if I hadn't done that? How would you have left the country without your golden ticket? Would you have taken me against my will?" 

"I didn't need you to leave the country... my mother had left false documents, passports and other shit just in case. She spent most of her life running away, she was so used to that fact that she even prepared my escape in advance. She was smarter than I thought" 

"Then..." 

"I came because I wanted... to get some information, some subtleties for when the time comes Kahl" 

"What time?" he breathed out, processing the question, pleased with the answer he would surely not give me. He would keep everything to himself until the last moment, when he could rub his victory in my face. 

"The moment when the emperor's head rolls off the floor" I was silent, looking at him completely confused now. 

"You are an alpha Cart..." 

"An outcast, thanks to you" and shrugged his shoulders, letting go a long sigh "I don't really care... I mean, I know I can work it out somehow, a little thing like this can't stop someone like me" he didn't hide the tone of arrogance in his voice, so typical of him "I'm much bigger than this" I laughed at the words. Soon I felt his gaze fixed on me equally "And you" 

"I don't feel bigger than this... I feel like I'm being crushed" 

"An evil of fear, prevents you from seeing in retrospect. You should try to see the big picture, maybe you’ll understand that you are not walking towards a prison, but towards a stage that will lead you to your goal" 

"And what is my goal?" 

"To help me get to the moment I said" 

"Be your tool" 

"Or I'll be yours, take the angle that suits you the most." 

"Or the one you find most manipulable" he let go a soft smile for the comment, while the lights of that city were lost in the distance.

"Or whichever one I find most manipulable" he repeated, lowering his eyelids.

And we kept silent, his breathing slowed down with the passing of the seconds, a vile desire in me almost longed for him to stop breathing at some point, as well as his quiet throbbing; but another one more... natural, wanted to listen to him forever, to the rhythm of the marching waves. 

"I have always appreciated these moments," he said after a while. I looked at him curiously through the statement " A lapse of words ... Even though you still hate me, we can reconcile for brief moments a moderately rational conversation". 

"You make me believe that we are irrational beings then" 

"Contradictory. How are we still together after so much? We've been shitting on each other since before we had a memory" I couldn't help but smile at the comment, at the childish memories. 

"We were kids”

"We are no kids anymore... and here we are" 

"You don't expect me to jump overboard, do you? You can do it if you want to." 

"I mean, even if we have the option of... avoiding these kinds of ends, we end up irremediably in them." 

"I don't remember an ending like this... not so fucked up" 

"Neither do I. But we're not kids anymore, remember?" I sighed. 

"I guess the shit just gets bigger with age, even the consequences... I must admit, we really showed off this time," he laughed softly. 

"And we'll make it bigger, just wait” 

"No, I won't wait" 

"Yes, it's a lot to ask for." 

"Surprise me then... in ten years, maybe you'll walk in the big door of the whorehouse where they're holding me captive, to give me hope of a ransom or some shit like that. But you'll just pay, cum and go..." 

"They don't take you to a whorehouse Kahl" 

"They will sell my heats, I have heard of such places, in first world countries. Only four times a year...the heats are every three months, only four times a year then..." 

"The heat of abnormal omegas is less constant... it could be only twice a year" 

"Like the alphas?" I looked at him in disbelief.

"Like the alphas" he confirmed "You'll get a better deal than any omega around the world... a jewel only grazed twice a year, giving the false impression to poor idiots of complete power, because there is nothing that provides a greater sense of power to an alpha than wrapping his horrible jaws around the ungovernable. An abnormal. Like a non-degenerative, but highly addictive, and best of all, legal drug” 

"I've heard that so many times by now, it's starting to get old" 

"And you will continue to do so for your misfortune Kahl" I leaned back more insistently on the couch moaning under the current of pain that ran from my entrance to my spine "Does it hurt?" he asked amusingly. 

"And your dick? I mean, the lubricant is not just for the person who receives it" he snorted. 

"Probably less than you” 

"Sure?" I moved my foot with some effort towards his crotch swallowing the pain. I gave a little kick before pulling it away. He tensed up and covered himself almost immediately with pain. 

"What the hell are you doing?" 

"Was it your first time?" he snorted. 

"No" no... I had felt the smell days after his heat had stopped. Kenny... 

"Was it Kenny?" 

Silence. 

This strange feeling of displeasure rose through my chest like poison... I had never felt it before, and its very strangeness only made me feel even worse. And no, it wasn't jealousy... it was like that tedious feeling I had as a child, when some cousin or some kid my age who I hardly knew would come into my room and play with my favorite toys, filling everything with dirt with his filthy hands, boasting that his toys were better... 

But I didn't have the time to analyze it too much; by the time it had settled on my chest, like an eagle in its nest, the words were already flowing out of me.

"It was Kenneth McCormick. Who would’ve thought. The son of a whore, lost his virginity to one. Do you have mommy issues? Do you look for whores because they remind you of the defective mother figure you have?...oh, sorry. You had" I mocked with overflowing derision, detailing his expression in search of something. 

He took a deep breath and stood up. 

With a sudden jerk he forced me to get up from my seat as well, took off all my blankets and threw them to the side. His eyes were dark as the night, his expression didn't say much. 

I let go a soft smile of victory from his obvious anger. 

"No Cartman, you won't make me cry, no matter how hard you fuck me" I spoke when I saw his intentions come to the surface. He frowned almost immediately.

"Well, we still have time," and he leaned into my ear. "I will fuck you so hard, that every time someone fucks you, or you fuck someone else, the only thing you will ever be able to feel or remember will be the pain and pleasure of me inside of you," and right after he finished saying that, he moved me with this crudeness of his, to push me over the balcony railing. He lifted my hip with one hand, lowered my pants with the other, and in seconds he was entering once more... 

I contained any trace of pain in my voice, even when I let it flow into my expression, he wouldn't see me anyway. 

And it pierced me once again in its entirety, but this time the pleasure didn't wait... 

I was already getting used to it, and I hated the idea. 

* * *

A loud sound made me get up almost immediately, drilling my head, making the throbbing of my chest go from one to a thousand... being brought back to reality all at once by the pain that despite the days seemed not to have diminished in my damn hip.

It was the whistle or whatever that shit was, from the ship... 

I listened in the distance to instructions in at least three languages, and soon the English one arrived. The cruise ship had anchored. 

I buried my face against the pillows to drown out my cries of frustration while my heart was reduced to nothing by the memories shot into my head like a bullet. I looked around and found nothing but broken memories. I was alone, he was gone... I was alone... alone, alone... and I had no fucking idea... 

A blow to the room made my body tense almost immediately. 

"Yes?" I asked... I didn't even know who my captor was, I didn't know any faces, or names. 

I hadn't been out of here in days. All the food and drink was rushed in and then locked up again; for some reason, the only one who seemed to have the right to come and go as if he were at home was Cartman, and jumping into the ocean from the balcony wasn’t a damn choice.

"As an abnormal, you are advised to stay within the confines of the cruise ship while in Algiers. You are being treated like a guest despite your quality of... merchandise. Please avoid trouble" said a female voice with a strange accent. It smelled like omega, another omega... 

I got up with difficulty, carrying the sheets with me, all my clothes scattered on the floor like the gory remains of a war without victory. 

And I walked in spite of the pain to the balcony, some traces of blood left on the furniture, something on the floor... and in front of me stood the view of what I assumed was the capital of the city, white buildings not so high or imposing being lost in the distance between small crowded houses and streets of simplistic but harmonious architecture... 

Yes, officially, this was definitely the biggest screw-up we had ever done. 

Just as big, or even bigger, would be the efforts needed to repair everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it looks like the end, like a shitty end; but is not. Just wait.


	15. Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, in case it's confusing, I'll clarify that it's been ten years since the last chapter. We will start with Kenny's perspective, followed by Kyle's, and finally Cartman's.

"South of the camp there are reports of relatives of militant jihadists. The 'Ados' squad is ordered to advance and eliminate. Snipers arranged in towers up to three kilometers around. Atres' squadron reduced the resistance in the northeast from the meeting point, it should be possible to move forward without setbacks" a symphony of death was constantly whispered against my ear. As a slave, sin was meaningless, as I lacked the freedom to sin. 

_ "There are places where the voices of the masses are not heard, everything is silent, and terrible events take place behind the back of a thousand eyes directed at the cities that are not yet in ruins in the name of freedom and democracy. It is in those places, as you know, where acts that nobody wants to admit, are carried out; acts that are necessary to keep the world on its feet; you know, the internal political disputes of certain countries with indispensable resources require indispensable measures”  _

_ "I can imagine the nature of those acts, but why omegas?”  _

_ "Even though there will always be people willing to do the right thing for the right price, they are not exactly people who maintain a complete state of mental stability over the long term, or people who are faithful to a code of silence” _

Everything turned red and black, reducing my very existence to mere senses saturated with dust, gunpowder, blood, gasoline from the surrounding trucks, incinerated flesh and traces of napalm still dancing in the air. Sometimes I felt like death itself walking over the harvest of the day, like a scavenger bird flying over the newly devoured corpses. 

There were no war drums, no preludes or rituals of any kind. Only the rumbling of hearts, blood pumping at the speed of adrenaline being scattered over tired bodies, and such loud sounds, constant beeping, between the voice, between screams, between metal splinters flying across the sky in bursts of dead glory. 

But now, now there was no noise but that whisper of the wind moving among broken crystals, among collapsed structures, raising dust, raising steles of burnt skin, of ashes and debris in the air. The only farewell to lives that meant no more than a step towards victory, victories among black faces disfigured by fire that watched us silently from the corner of our eyes, huddled together, some in fetal position, small, big. War did not discriminate between genders or ages. 

_ "Assassination of social leaders, potential participants of the threatening ideology, possible witnesses, relatives of possible witnesses; participation in civil wars in countries that need a ‘push'; premeditated terrorist attacks, reconnaissance and investigation missions in areas outside the legislative boundaries of democracy. They are extremely efficient in any kind of work that requires a cool head”  _

_ "You say they're perfect because their mental stability is preserved over the long term"  _

_ "They have an impressive facility for alienating themselves from their acts as long as these are ordered by an alpha, no act by instinct can be considered unworthy. To follow orders of an alpha is an instinctive act, and is a rational man entirely owner of such tribal feelings?”  _

Close to the indicated area, that unmistakable murmur of steps trying to be silent alerted the senses of every omega in the squadron. In seconds they were organized on cover; even if, due to the inexperience of whoever had made them, it was probably just some child or woman without any kind of training. 

But we had been in situations where that same clumsiness had been used as a lure. Conscious of our state as Omegas, they sometimes used our developed senses against us. It was difficult to predict, even with ears or a sense of smell of this caliber, whether it was just a child trying to hide, or a free ticket to a gunfight. 

But the area had been 'cleaned up' from south to northeast, so there should be no threats; of course, caution was always in order. 

_ "This place has given them more value than just breeding. It may sound arrogant, but I consider that I am doing their existence a great favor, an existence that is inferior by nature.  _

_ "I understand that the project has been in place for about thirteen years"  _

_ "That's right. Until about ten years ago, the results started to be assertive."  _

_ "Do they know they are exposed to an artificial voice?" _

_ "We haven't tested for this, their responses tend to be fuzzy and evasive. In addition, we think that this could alter their performance in the field, so we prefer to hide it. Any experiment or test that we consider affects their abilities to perform their role is avoided entirely. A dysfunctional omega in the military is like a horse with a broken leg, there is no choice but to get rid of it if its only functions seem non-existent".  _

_ "Why are they so indispensable? There's a whole market of omegas out there. _

_ "The process requires a high injection of resources, even in the earliest stages of the project. Research into the application of an artificial bond alone had exorbitant costs before positive results could be seen, not to mention the number of omegas that could not take the treatments. Currently we have been working on decreasing brain damage in recruits”  _

Accustomed to this; to the sand between our boots, to the winds saturated with this terrible aroma, to the wear and tear of days of constant tracking and fighting, and so many factors that weighed on our body as the weaponry; we advanced silently like a lightweight child, barefoot, on a floor of perfect marble. 

The track took us to a series of half-collapsed huts, half-built from the remains of previous bombings. 

And there was the sound again. There was no trace of gunpowder beyond that which was already worn out; for in time you learned to distinguish the tones of war, of what has happened, and of what is about to happen. There seemed to be nothing to imply the second option. 

We stopped for a second to pull down the masks that covered part of the face, lowering the nose to the ground in search of explosives, possible anti-personnel mines, traps that with one false step could take the life of more than one person. All the information found in this bias in the air to TNT, pentolite, ammonium nitrate. 

The resourcefulness of people was impressive, when their purpose was to harm others. 

Nothing. 

If none of the Omegas stopped the advance after the inspection, the safety of the terrain would be assumed. No one stopped. 

_ "Brain damage?"  _

_ "Experimenting with nature has high costs, not only monetary. Another benefit of using omegas is their easy disposition; smuggling is particularly useful to us as you may already know"  _

_ "I see. Even though they are expensive pieces at the end when the process is successfully completed, I would like to acquire one in particular"  _

_ "You are welcome to take a few, if the budget is still under discussion"  _

_ "This was one of the areas with the largest budget, I believe. And I don't plan on taking a few... just one."  _

_ " You are right, it was one of the areas with the largest budget. But such an ambitious project requires an equally ambitious plan. Which one caught your attention?"  _

_ "Kenneth McCormick. Recruited ten years ago, I don't know how he is referred to in your facility.  _

_ "Ah, him. I am afraid he is irreplaceable for our interests, Lady Testaburger. I could choose another one, there are several who meet a similar complexion if..."  _

_ "Let me be clear. I want him. I could even discuss the budget, I'm sure an omega can't be as important as the order of your superior, or the budget of your ambition"  _

_ "He was the first successful, as well as the leader of the group, or as close to a leader as an Omega can be.  _

_ "I thought the artificial voice of the alpha was the leader of the group"  _

We were at the epicenter of the sounds. Almost immediately the place was mechanically surrounded, and the invasion began with my boot breaking down the door, aiming at an extremely thin woman; probably due to starvation, nothing unusual in this area. 

I pulled the trigger without a second thought; she did not cry out, did not fight, resigned to her fate drawn on the emaciated face and bony fingers around a torn Koran, now stained, perhaps for the thousandth time, with trails of blood and entrails. 

_ "To lead may not be the most appropriate term, 'to protect' would be more accurate. It has been concluded that each omega can perform some tasks more efficiently than others, right?  _

_ "And is he more efficient at protecting?"  _

_ "Many of the affirmations work on fundamental hypotheses, fundamental hypotheses in the market for example, such as free competition, or the absence of a different power from demand and supply in the market; or the axioms in mathematics. In the nature of omegas, the fundamental hypothesis is their predisposition to reproduction and breeding".  _

_ "Continue"  _

_ "We believe that, as in nature, there are Omegas that have a greater predisposition to breeding, to a rather superhuman point. Like a mountain lion that risks its life to save its young from the claws of some bear, for example. Instincts, a powerful force indeed".  _

_ "Is he one?"  _

_ "That seems to be. He is a unique specimen and therefore his instinct for self-preservation pales in comparison to the preservation of another whom he considers important.  _

I signaled for the next group to move forward, soon every corner of the structure was being searched. 

A heartbeat echoed from somewhere, I followed it in silence. My steps seemed to increase the pace. After a certain point a second and third beat joined the sickening melody. There was this smell of omega. 

I stopped in front of a closet, somewhat burned, somewhat broken, with bullet holes in several places, and three beats echoing like drums behind the door, not big enough to hold adults. 

Children, an omega, probably no more than about twelve or thirteen. A smell of gunpowder came over me. They had a gun, perhaps pointed at the door, to be fired at the moment it was opened. 

I lifted my rifle, closing my eyes in order to blindly trust my instincts, trying to determine which direction the three were standing.

The tone to omega emanated from the center if I was not mistaken, the two beats were no more than inches away from each other. If I fired wrongly I could hurt the omega, and we had been ordered not to kill omegas. On the contrary, we had been given the order, in turn, to kill any alpha, regardless of their active or non-existent militancy in extremist groups in the area. 

One shot to the left, two screams. One shot to the right and one was silenced. The door opened and two bodies fell inert to the ground. In the middle, a girl was lying too absorbed in the scene to pull the trigger. 

I took the gun from between the dying fingers of what I assumed to be the older one, fingers still in spasms preceding the inevitable death. I threw it away. 

"I found an omega, twelve, maybe thirteen, at the meeting point northeast of the central camp. The area has been cleared." 

"Wounded?" answered the voice on the other end of the communicator. I silently detailed it, not knowing how to distinguish between her blood and that of... probably her two... brothers, friends, cousins? 

"Wounded?" I asked in her language, what little I knew about the multiple missions in the area. 

Her pupils were lost in the distance as her body convulsed in abnormally strong tremors, the sound of her teeth colliding was extremely distressing. 

"No" I replied. 

"The pick-up team will be there in about half an hour" said the voice before giving the coordinates. 

As I listened to the orders, in a panic over what was to come, the little girl pounced in an almost animal-like motion on the weapon that I thought I had thrown far enough away to require more than a damn jump to reach. 

She still reached it. 

A bias of hope came over me at the thought that she would point it in my direction. In less than a few seconds all the possibilities flew by my head, just a little faster than the speed at which the bullet would hit me if she decided to shoot me. 

The safety was loose, the distance was short enough to hit me; even if she didn't hit the first time, her index finger was shaking so much that she would probably pull the trigger more than once, two, three, four... until she emptied the charger on her family's killer. 

I knew I wouldn't have the time to dodge, move or catch up with her. It would hit me irretrievably. And I yearned for it like nothing else in this world. I almost begged for it with my silent gaze.

But that relief was taken away from me like the wings of a bird in captivity, when the metal cannon was aimed at her own jaw. 

Suddenly the idea of the irremediable became almost capricious. It was not hopeless, not if someone else depended on it not being hopeless. 

I reached at the speed of my alarmed heartbeat, in an ungraceful movement, the gun. I covered the barrel with part of my hand, deflecting the direction of the cannon in the last moment before the trigger was pulled. 

It went through my hand reducing my middle finger to nothing, but it cushioned the trajectory, deflecting it to only a part of her jaw. 

The bullet had succeeded in shattering part of her chin, reaching her nose and septum, leaving a trail of fire on her forehead, and then disappearing against the ceiling before a childlike scream of pain ran through the walls so familiar, as familiar as the sound of the bullet piercing flesh, as familiar as the sound of skin being burned. 

I lay her down, covering the wound with my undamaged palm, looking out at my shattered middle finger. 

"There are wounded" I reported after a while, trying to turn her over so that the blood would not flow down her airway irretrievably, not knowing very well what to do, only thinking of the fact that I had carried out my alpha's orders, and therefore had not acted wrongly. 

No, as long as that voice was the one ordering these acts, there was nothing wrong with this. 

_ "What is the criterion for defining the importance of whom to protect?  _

_ "That is another curious aspect. It is a criterion that does not necessarily depend on his emotional closeness to that person.  _

_ "Quite a disadvantage for a member who seems indispensable"  _

_ "We can't lock him up, it would be unfruitful and redundant. Some of the attendees who study him claim that he has suicidal and self-destructive tendencies; his unreasonable behavior in protecting others over his own life may be a symptom of that greater evil".  _

_ "A rather laudable way of dismissing one's life"  _

_ "It is. Luckily for us, he's too good at what he does. He's always successful. It's a pretty surreal situation.  _

_ "Why not fail deliberately?"  _

_ "Because then he would be disobeying his alpha's orders. The voice of the alpha is the only boundary between failure and success, a boundary he cannot cross.  _

_ "I will give you time to consider the offer. As I said before, we can discuss the budget"  _

_ "Mrs. Testaburger, I insist that..."  _

_ "I will have Kenneth McCormick even without your consent. I just remind you very kindly, that refusing my offers are extremely risky bets"  _

"I'll think about it"

_ "I'm glad to see that I'm arguing with someone smart. Have a great afternoon, I'll come back next week to hear your answer”  _

* * *

"The Armani slim fit, the BlancPain watch that gave me the Alpha that came the other day and... show me the CH belts. I don't think I'll wear a tie" Twice a year, on this floor so close to heaven, aromas danced in a fierce battle of control. But I had to surrender, being a product, being the ideal of subjugation for those beasts. 

"Mr. Brofovski, the reservation of your next heat has been confirmed" The aroma of more than ten alphas throughout these ten years had danced through my nose as the count of my decline, and some came back thirsty for the possibility of getting drunk in the false sensation of power that my state of entire predisposition offered them. One act, everything was nothing but a pantomime of submission. But this particular name came up for the first time, for the last time in this context "His name is Eric Theodore Cartman". 

"Good. I think I'll wear a tie" it wasn't surprising, just about time. Everything was starting to fall into place after ten years, and under this facade of indifference, the craving for freedom was chewing my soul to pieces. "That one. Did you bring me the latest financial report?" The white linen shirt slipped down my arms, falling to the floor as I silently watched myself in the large mirror inside this room that was meant to be a closet. 

"I'll get it right away" the beta rushed out of the room, putting aside, with some meaningless ceremonialism, the clothes resting on her arms. 

I observed the ivory skin, sculpted with the care of a craftsman. My gaze fell disdainfully on the rest of my half-naked body. Every corner was the product of a need to be satisfied, a need of others. The word 'beauty' had taken on a nauseating tone over the years. That perfection that my eyes scrutinized through the mirror was the perfection that someone else yearned for. When did I stop being the owner of my own body? 

"The last printed reports" at least I was not the only canvas of those animals. The building, this crystal tower of sex and beauty, held about ten other abnormal omegas. We were centralized capital, imported from different parts of the world. 

"Thank you" the last acquisition was about two or three years ago, a sixteen year old girl. She was on the first floors. The lower the level, the lower the price. This didn't mean that the prices weren't exorbitant. 

"Pardon my impertinence, but have you heard anything about the auction?" my gaze crossed with the woman's through the mirror, she turned away almost immediately. 

As products, we had useful lives then, we had deterioration, depreciation and appreciation. The sixteen year old girl was in a process of appreciation, her value would increase over the years to a peak, where she would begin a process of depreciation. 

"Not yet, unfortunately" At the peak point there were two options. Either the asset was sold at its maximum price, or it was exploited until its useful life was over. The decision was made based on future income analysis, because just as there were appraisers for buildings, property, jewelry and so on, there were appraisers for Omegas. 

"Isn't that Eric T. Cartman who bought…" 

"I'd appreciate some privacy, if you don't mind," she nodded in sudden embarrassment, leaving the room in silence. 

And just as there was a whole accounting process behind our body, there were financial reports available for investors, where the amount of assets, inventory, or property was discussed. The reports talked about human beings under the category that would be classified as livestock, talked about our useful life, talked about the income that we would generate in the future, talked about those that were for sale, those that were still in use by the organization, about our depreciation and deterioration, and about the most recent acquisitions. 

I used to read the financial report every year. It was the only way I knew what they were planning to do with me, in a transparent and sincere way. According to the last financial report, my price was at its highest peak. Right now, I was one of the most valued Omegas in the market, even compared to the financial reports of the crystal towers in the USA and Japan. 

Right after this heat the accounting period would come to an end, and the financial statements would come out to the market. It would be revealed to the public if I, Kyle Broflovski, were to be put up for auction, or held in this crystal tower until the end of my life. 

_ He _ promised that the second option would not occur. And even though his promises had the weight of a dead piece of skin in the air, if he failed to keep his word, I would make sure to bury him alive in his own shit. This was not an opportune time for hate wars. 

I checked the time by leaving the place in silence, on time. 

And in not much time I arrived at the dining room already set up. The smell of alpha saturated the place. 

I took a deep breath and smiled in his direction, sitting right in front of him. 

"You look good" said the old man.

"I always look good to your eyes; don't be surprised if one day I attend our dinners naked, I am sure I will receive the same compliment" he let out a soft laugh not turning his dull gaze away from me, while he unbuttoned his jacket as if he had just arrived. I knew he had been waiting for me for at least fifteen minutes. I hid my displeasure with a soft smile. "I saw the news" 

"The Good? or the Bad ones" 

"Both" he took a deep breath. Soon a couple of waiters began moving silently around the table, leaving everything in place, serving the usual wine. 

"I bought ten-year discounted oil industry bonds, and put the refinery you said on sale" I smiled satisfied. 

"As usual, you never disappoint. Thank you for trusting me" 

"It's a risky move." 

"You wanted to speculate a little, speculating by itself is risky; it is almost a natural law to need to risk in order to test the probabilities of winning. Like playing Russian roulette with more than one bullet in the drum" he took the glass, letting the wine surround the crystal walls in a circular motion, before inhaling the aroma "But the greater the risk, the greater the reward"

"I'd be happy with just one bullet, Mr. Broflovski." 

"Most are, but conformity is a slow and forgotten death. Only those who bet on more than one bullet, get the king's reward, sir" and I groped the neck of my cup without a real interest in the drink "I warn you there will be losses initially" 

"Quite predictable is that aspect, I'm afraid. 

"Predictability is not always good, it only instills fear and insecurity about mostly immediate problems. What really matters is what comes from them; that is what you are looking for with the sale of the refinery, the result after the storm". 

"If you were an alpha, Broflovski, you'd be a fearsome man" he said after chewing the first bite. 

"I'm a fearsome man, Sir; but you always ignore the warnings. You shouldn't visit an abnormal outside of his heat. We have vile tongues, which bend even the most reluctant of alphas" he let go a guttural laugh at my words. It was so easy for them to underestimate me. 

"Whoever invented that, never had the pleasure of taking one to bed" 

"Perhaps their resentment towards our kind is due to that very reason" I accompanied his smile, as well as his table manners. Taking a first bite. 

"There's a good chance your next customer will be your last," he said, with this mechanical edge to the conversation. That pretended disinterest only produced an irremediable distaste in my gut. 

"If the rumor reached you, who knows, maybe it's a premeditated one even. The number of bidders in this heat exceeded my expectations" he wiped his lips with this lack of delicacy that accompanies old age, too many years of manners left behind nothing but weariness. His gestures tended to be almost deliberately coarse in my presence, a child giving in to rebellion when there was no one but his favorite pet in front of him. 

"Let us hope that the complacency your next alpha gets is as extensive as the number of zeros in the payment" and his lack of delicacy in hiding his jealousy biases forced me to hide a curvature of disgust for such childish expressions. 

"Isn't that what everyone expects in an economic exchange, mutual satisfaction? It almost seems that you have become addicted to yours" I joked as I finished drinking from the glass, raising my jaw, exposing my 'virginal' throat in a graceful movement, feeling his gaze getting caught on it like a fish whose mouth is irremediably entangled in some vile bait. 

But all this was nothing more than that, fallacious expressions, manual courtesy, games that would soon come to an end like everything else in my life. So sickening.

* * *

I was silent as I watched the stage of the amphitheater from a balcony with these partners at my side. Each of them had at least two omegas with them, standing behind them watching who would be chosen next to be added to their masters' pet collection. 

I had none, at the moment. 

"Soon you will receive the office" this man of about sixty spoke to my side, taking a glass of wine from the hands of his omega. He smiled in her direction, she smiled back pleasantly and returned to her place. 

The fact of acquiring omegas represented some kind of synonym of status. Like having a collection of high-end cars, or a variety of exotic liquors, having omegas with certain physical characteristics, or with certain experience and so on, implied a certain degree of power. The rarest acquisitions were usually the abnormals; few omegas in their normal capacity could rival even the most devalued of the them. 

It was difficult to see an abnormal's bid, though; they were only offered about two or three times a year at auctions in certain parts of the world. 

"That's what it looks like" I commented boringly as I watched the first round parade around, covered with eccentric attire and elaborate clothes, while the host pointed out the characteristics and experience of each piece. 

"It's a pretty big step for someone so young” 

"But not necessarily wrong; sometimes experience stops innovation instead of promoting it" 

"You are wrong, experience is indispensable for innovation" I let go a soft smile at the comment. 

"I can go through all the mistakes of the old men who occupied that office in financial and management reports, I don't need sixty years of mistakes and successes in order to get a few positive numbers. So no, the wrong one is you. You should be glad that a wrinkled ass isn't sitting at the CFO's desk for a change," he laughed enthusiastically at my comment. 

"Quite straightforward, but also mildly eloquent. Too bad charisma isn't enough to make decisions” 

"Fortunately my only strength is not my eloquence" he smiled distantly at the figures on stage as the bets were raised in the air between numbers no smaller than five figures. 

"You are right, nobody gets that far with simple eloquence, right, abnormal?" he observed me out of the corner of his eye after the pejorative term. 

"No one does, so I repeat that my eloquence is not my greatest strength, much less my fair play" he raised his eyebrows in surprise. I let go a soft laugh. "Or so you would like me to say; but don't worry, I am only better than you for the job, don't try to find further explanations and attribute it to my superiority" I winked in his direction and he just wrinkled his stained brow in tedium. 

"How about I give you an omega for your success? You know, to see how quickly it decides to 'walk away' from you" he said amusingly. I nodded. 

"As you wish; but I apologize if I don't appreciate it as much as you do; after all, I don't need to accumulate omegas in order to prove my manhood" 

"Because you certainly don't have it." 

"Because it is clear that I still get a hard-on, and that I don't have to make use of a thousand whores to get to such a task, which in you, seems quite impossible at sixty years of age" he let out a heavy breath. 

The conversation continued like a hissing of snakes in the distance, while I detailed with disdain the group of Omegas marching on the stage. In a way, this concept of the objectification of a human being did not exactly strike me as 'improper,' much less immoral.

It was interesting how this system was completely lacking of empathy or morality. People in these spheres, in one way or another, reminded me of my childhood self, the ugliest side, though. 

As long as I had a backup in a bank account that was large enough, a whole life could be at my disposal with a snap of the fingers.

They were like little rag dolls; I even think I called the first one Polly Prissy Pants, the second one Mr. Kitty. The first one overdosed on suppressants, the second was ordered to jump off the roof of my apartment after I got bored with her submission. I didn't think she would do it. 

She did. 

My thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of the jewel of the night apparently. 

My eyebrows arched in surprise before dawn-toned eyes that looked darkly at the audience, with this disdain characteristic of a star in its last years of life. Blond hair fell aesthetically disorganized by her shoulders, some curls came down at the side of her eyes like golden curtains around slightly tanned skin, yet with this peach tint, alive and almost reminiscent of her own scent that reached even me. All of it fitted into a tailored D&G dress if I wasn't wrong.

Bebe?

"I see you like that one" I looked at my companion sideways "I doubt you'll appreciate that present anyway, so I'll take the opportunity to get her for myself" I didn't really intend to buy her, I didn't even know how the hell she got here; but well, if the old man thought he could beat me, then his problem wasn't with his dick, it was with his head. 

"An opportunity that, I'm afraid, you won't be able take" I raised my offer and the figure was sentenced in search of a bigger one, the shitty old man next to me raised it; and the bet kept going up in this area by the time her derogatory eyes, which seemed to have too much experience in this kind of events, finally turned to the man who seemed to be offering a fortune for her. 

Her outlined golden eyebrows curved in disbelief, and her smile painted in this eccentric golden hue, like something that seeks to allude to the Midas touch, grew in realization. 

I continued to increase my offer until soon the old man brayed in surrender. The number on my auction paddle was sentenced as the winner, accompanied by a loud applause for the highest amount spent so far in the evening. 

So now Bebe would be my next omega, how unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next time. I hope you liked it.


	16. Fire

Transaction completed. 

Fifty-one percent of the shares were now in my company's name, in a few weeks we would enter into negotiations on the merger of the two parties, and my position as CEO had already been accepted by the board of directors. 

I let my eyes wander along the office that covered the entire top floor of the building in complete silence and renewed interest. 

The Promised Land, the top floor. Taking a step on this ground gave me the right to make the world tremble. 

Convex windows overlooked the great magnitude of the city, countless buildings stretching like fingers of concrete, glass and steel desperately trying to reach the sky. Towers of Babel that God was no longer interested in bringing down, because they had not provoked him enough. 

I would do it. Oh, yes, I would. 

Breathing brought back memories of a previous emperor. The alpha before me, fallen from grace because of a bribery scandal. Audits were ruthless crusades, which I always loved to observe. 

After a fifth breath came along the scent of the overthrown emperor, the scent of his favorite eunuch. A contemporary Bagoas; but a thousand times more dangerous, more addictive. 

Kyle. Kyle fucking Broflovski. 

For a second I wondered who I would be then. Darío III? Alexander the Great? 

I clicked my tongue in palpable repudiation observing the impressionist art that decorated the office, the artificial fireplace, the guest room, the desk, the chair. 

What did he do with that alpha here? On this desk? On this chair? Against these windows? 

I took a deep breath, looking for the familiar smell of sex, feeling anger to make my blood boil when I found it. 

In front of the chair I watched it in silence, I breathed, I could almost visualize it, and before I even realized it my briquette was lying lit between my fingers.

How childish, acting this way at the thought of a prostitute doing his job. Those moans, those touches, the dirty words and the orgasms had cemented my path to this place. Nevertheless, I threw the briquette against the leather seat. 

It began to burn in seconds, spreading through the material like the final moments of an empire based on trading in human lives. Under my hands now lay the fate of one of the world's leading omega dealers. 

But it would not be so easy, pleasing that whore was never easy.

No political act is completely devoid of conditionals, shades of gray, a thousand and one factors that make it impossible to reduce the act to an expression of altruism. Much less when so many human lives would be affected in the process. 

Not one hundred percent of the population under the yoke of the Alpha-Omega system declared themselves victims. Yet he wanted to force change, even at the cost of hundreds of thousands affected. But I was fine with that, I didn't care if someone didn't want to be saved, I didn't do it for them anyway. 

Not for Kyle either, Liane... Kenny. 

I was doing it because I could. Whatever came after that, regardless of whether it was good or bad for me, would probably be big enough to keep me interested. But it was like everything else, if it didn't burn fast enough, I would most likely stop caring eventually. 

"Damn chair" I muttered as I watched the leather slowly melt. Thick white smoke was beginning to fill the place along with this really terrible smell of burning leather; soon the fire alarm sounded and the emergency sprinklers went on " Fucking chair" I spoke with a soft laugh at how ridiculous this was. 

Anyway, what good was all this money, if not to sponsor this kind of madness. 

I lifted a folder from the desk, which had survived my sudden display of anger to cover me from the damn sprinklers until the fire was eradicated as quickly as it was lit.

Perhaps our attempt to change something would be nothing more than this attempt to set afire the physical representation of a power perpetuated by a sickly permissive and hypocritical system. 

This shit made me feel so small at times, and that only fueled my interest in reducing it to nothing. 

I would do it, and if the damn sprinklers came on, then I would just keep setting more and more things on fire until there was not enough water to suppress the flames. 

By the time the water stopped flowing, I finally decided to look at the documents on the table; orders to sign for short-term decisions, which I was to personally make before the end of the next accounting period. 

The sale or retention of certain assets; and one in particular that was quite important. 

Kyle Broflovski. 

I was grateful that the smell of burnt leather had completely replaced that of the previous alpha and the most expensive whore in the catalog; because from now on, no one but me could have him. 

I was so engrossed in this that I did not hear the footsteps approaching, nor its aroma slowly invading the place. After a moment I inhaled the essence of another, almost citric, acidic and somehow euphoric. 

Too alive for my taste, but it seemed that my taste was atrophied, because most seemed to find it even addictive. 

"I heard the alarm from outside," spoke the female voice. She looked around "And the guy in the elevator kept staring at my tits. Are you sure you don't want to mark me? I'm already starting to get fucked up with being stared at up to my fucking ankles" I let go of a smile at the comment "Did you burn the fucking chair? 

"I'll burn everything, Bebe" 

* * *

It was raining. 

On days like this I tended to go up to the top floor, and dine in the dining room whose glass doors and windows looked out onto the terrace, and therefore, the rest of the city. 

Cloudiness covered the skies, and the concrete was bathed, reflecting the lights around it, as if the water that covered it was jealous because it had no light of its own. 

I contemplated in silence the pills placed on a small plate next to the presentation of the dinner, as if it was the dessert, maybe the starter. I took the first one and swallowed it with red wine, I took the second one and only observed from a distance the thematic illumination of some surrounding buildings, the traffic that moved slowly on roads like an ocean of small, insignificant lights that were rushing, flashing, boring. I took the third one and the heat that had been rising from the base of my pelvis was beginning to dilute between medications. 

I looked at the time on a pendulum clock at the other end of the room. 

He was late, my next client was half an hour late. 

Rarely, if ever, would an Alpha be late for an appointment with me; but I knew who he was, I knew what he was doing, I knew his intentions like the back of my hand; that belligerent person whose existence intoxicated mine like poison in veins. 

I was going to take the fourth suppressor to diminish my desire, which I already sensed would boil over in a couple of hours like hot water proliferating from erogenous zones; but as soon as it brushed my lips, moccasin footsteps resounded on tiles, strong, proud. 

I hesitated about swallowing it, but by the time I saw his face, and his smile growing in pride I took it in without a doubt. 

"Kahl" my name coming from his lips resounded through my psyche as a warning without a name, but with a clear owner; too clear for my taste. I saw his sapphire orbs move into the pill container. His smile grew in mockery without lowering his step. "Poor thing, you need medicine not to want to fuck," I let go of a soft smile at the comment, watching him sit in front of me in crude ways. 

"I also use sunscreen to prevent skin cancer, and I've been vaccinated against hepatitis B. Better safe than sorry, right?" he snorted in tedium, staring at me authoritatively. 

"I bought your heat, you shouldn't be using fucking suppressants." 

"You can shove your purchase up your fat ass, you know, up your prostate; then if you want you can cum wherever you want; of course, at least five meters away from me" his smile rose in disdain turning then to the outside, from here you could see the office building of this empire of human traffic; his gaze was fixed on the tower whose lights were moving to the sound of some silent sonata "You received the office a few days ago ... How was it? "Our reflections were projected by the wide wall of translucent glass, little illumination made the reflections more prominent in contrast to the outside light. 

I saw his eyelids dropping in fatigue, the sound of air entering his nostrils reached me, as I inhaled the aroma of hormones dancing in the air like the muse of my property. Eyelids went back up, his pupils grew in dilation because of... my scent surely, and a smile of renewed interest spread across his face. 

"I felt your scent in that office" I bit my lip. The suppressors always fell short when his scent began to run down the walls, taking over not only the entire environment around us, but my own self-control as well. 

"I know," he watched me out of the corner of his eye, pupils growing like the moon on its darkest nights, absorbing a sky that seemed to shine as if in the middle of the day. 

"You did it on purpose, I see. I thought you couldn't leave your little crystal tower. 

"I can, if my owner so desires" I saw his Adam's apple come down slowly as it passed saliva, his aroma beginning to become more and more prominent, rising through my nose, reaching my eyebrows, running through areas of my brain ready to regulate my actions; beginning to make barriers fall like the worn-out walls of a ruined empire. 

"It is a shame he is gone" he spoke, his voice taking on a dangerous hue. 

"No, you own me now, CEO Eric T. Cartman. Tell me, will you leave me here in this... crystal tower? or will you decide to auction me off" his gaze flashed briefly across my face, from my orbs, my cheekbones, my nose... falling on my lips like a suicide into the abyss. 

"Your suppressors aren't working very well" I saw him stand up, following his movements as he moved around the table in my direction. Soon he was standing in front of me; his abdomen was at the height of my face. I looked up at him "This perspective has always suited you" his fingers moved slowly towards my jaw, skin against skin, fire that I hadn't remembered feeling running through my pores for... for years. 

I stood up and pulled him back, pushing his hand away in a rough motion from my face. His smile gave way to tedium. 

"The suppressors work, not on you of course," and the rain had stopped. I walked to the terrace, the smell of dust raised by the fresh water reached my lungs, the chlorine from the pool mixed with rain filled the air with the scent of power and subjugation, the smoke from cars, traces of congestion from floors away. His footsteps followed me like a wolf silently stalking its prey. "You acquired fifty-one percent of the shares, the offices must be a disaster because of the merger. You shouldn't be here, it tends to be a pretty busy event. 

"I thought I should thank you" I laughed softly. 

"No, you thought you'd come and rub my nose in your success. 

"Which you helped me guarantee." 

"Not one of the best decisions I've ever made. But I'd rather have a dagger on my windpipe that I'm familiar with, than one whose edge I haven't tried yet" I stopped in front of the glass parapet "Still, it's hard to distinguish your intentions, your promises" 

"My promises still stand," my chest shook at the obvious lie. It sounded so real, which added nothing but impudence to its statement. 

"I've heard rumors about your treatment to your omegas; I don't know, but I feel that you enjoy your position" I felt him advance to my back, his hands resting possessively on my hips. His lips moved to my ears. 

"Of course I do, Kahl, I'm no saint," his breath ran down my neck dressed in obscene promises that a part of me wanted to make real, "But neither are you," and teeth clenched softly against my neck, gesturing a grunt of pain and desire in my lower throat. 

Alcohol, aged whiskey, heavy, even more intoxicating than ten years ago slipped inside me with these now almost imperceptible biases of cacao powder, as if it were going back to its origin, I could feel the aroma in the purest and wildest way and... 

I turned in my place, his hands giving me the space to do it, our faces met face to face while my weight was placed on the glass parapet that separated me from the abyss. 

"Why would you go against a system that clearly satisfies you," he charged his forehead against mine, his smile grew amused, his orbs detailed me, absorbed in lust... something told me that mine do not dissemble much. 

"Because there is something that satisfies me even more," my breath fled at the tone, and within millimeters was the object of my lowest desires, desires that tore at my soul like a beast seeking to escape its captivity. 

He approached my lips, and I retreated in an anxious tasting of the consequences. It was a dance that was the fruit of the hate we professed religiously, a dance that was the fruit of the ambitions that our nature cried out for. Breaths clashed warmly, his thumbs touched my pelvis. 

"And... what is that something?" 

"Winning" I laughed against his lips as I lifted my hands to his chest, pushed him away. He recoiled with mockery on his face. 

"And what better rival than the whole world," I commented contemptuously as I removed my jacket, heat was beginning to rise threateningly through my body. I quickly adjusted my shirt collar, releasing pressure from the tie. He observed my movements in surgical detail. 

"You" I let go of a soft laugh at the comment. 

"No Cartman, your kind words will not get me into bed. There's an abnormal downstairs who's going to go into heat tomorrow at the latest; go and take it out on her, I tell you, it won't be much different," he arched his eyebrows in curiosity. 

"No?" and my smile grew because of his clear insight. 

"No. Once there was one like you, you know. An abnormal alpha" his smile was completely wiped off by the sentence "And it felt  _ so _ good" he tilted his head in feigned curiosity. 

"I see..." 

"Go, it will be easier with her, a nice British girl. You know, you won't have to deal with the fact that a ginger Jew is your object of desire. That's just too low, isn't it?" His brow furrowed in deliberate disgust. 

"Or I could just stand here and watch you melt into desire over an unsatisfied heat," I unbuttoned my vest. Why the fuck did I decide to wear a three-piece suit? As if the difficulty in undressing was enough of an impediment to avoid the temptation to do so. His eyes followed the movement of my fingers. 

"As if you could deal with the image without falling for me," I started my way back to the dining room for a fifth pill. He followed me. " Get out, Cartman. I don't want to do this right now" he snorted behind me as I swallowed two more pills along with wine. I heard his lips open, now interrupted by the vibrations of his phone. 

"Damn it" he mumbled, answering "One moment" he started to walk away in the direction of the exit, he didn't want me to hear that call "Good luck with your first solo heat after ten years" he almost screamed getting lost in the distance. 

And my body relaxed almost completely as if a thousand pounds of iron had been taken off my shoulders; but this other side almost seemed to push me to follow his scent. 

I returned to the terrace in search of cold air, the warmth overflowing without a real container, the suppressors doing their best to keep my reasoning in place and not impelling me to follow him like a hunting fox. 

I undid my tie and shirt, took off my shoes and socks on the way to the pool to take a completely graceless dive in my own rush. The splashes rising into the air, falling on scattered clothing as my fever spread through the freezing water, not enough; not damn enough. 

I sank completely seeking to eradicate the scent, only lying on the bottom as I stared with difficulty through the water at the night sky that stretched out to infinity between the faded blue tones and the whitish illumination. 

After all, we were nothing more than creatures seeking to demonstrate our quality of control over our own impulses, groping around the other haughty, playing with fire without fear, showing how little the other affected us; for, in the end, we did not use our natures as more than tools. 

There would be a loser, we knew that there would be a damned loser eventually; the loser would then be the first to jump on the other's neck eager to devour, subjugated by such a vulgar fate. 

I of course wouldn't be, no; I was better than him, without me he wouldn't have gotten to this point, and I wouldn't be about to be 'free' without him. 

I went up to the surface to get some air. As soon as I took the first breath, his scent invaded me again, and I went back down almost immediately. 

These days would be quite long. 

  
  



	17. Trust me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive. Wuuuu 
> 
> Rough month, rough life. Sorry for the delay :c But whatever, I'm back, hope you enjoy the next chap :D

I was nervously tapping on the car's upholstery, looking for the first time at the city from outside that tower's windows. How many years had passed since I was confined in that place? Long enough to make my sanity waver, right under the feet of my anxiety. Performing acrobatics to the beat of my heart. 

"Calm down" a hand covered mine. My gaze turned to the wrinkled, age-spotted complexion between gold rings "I need to attend a few meetings, then I'll bring you home” 

Home. What an arbitrary term was given to that glass tower. Cold and systemic.

"I thought I couldn't get out of..." He took out his cell phone to start typing, leaving my hand, completely ignoring me. I let go of a breath of frustration as I watched him turn on his hands-free microphone to start talking about business and shit.

There was no point in getting angry, no point in fighting. Every day that passed I became smaller, more insignificant amidst those mountains of frivolity and numbers. I was bathed in gold, burning with the glowing substance my essence as a human being. 

And it had been nearly three years since I left that dock in Algiers. 

"How are your German classes going?" asked the man hanging up, I looked at him. Even though that was his native language, he was speaking to me in mine. 

"Good" he nodded contentedly. 

Not many minutes passed before the car was parked in one of the many buildings in the office area. He came down and ordered me to follow him, I obeyed.

Amidst bows and condescending murmurs, the figure in front of me advanced among men dressed in black with this elitist air as if he owned the world. I followed in his footsteps, still unable to bow my head as I had been forced to do for three years now. 

My sense of smell always ran up in search of something. A trail of hope, or misery. That shade of cocoa bathed in alcohol, in an aged whiskey. 

Cartman. 

I breathed in again, assuming that that feeling had been nothing more than a memory at a bad time. It didn't go away. 

We entered an elevator, exclusive for executives. I continued in silence. 

And the place was bathed in the essence of a thousand alphas, some omegas... and Cartman's. He had been here. So fucking unmistakable. 

I felt my stomach churn at the thought. I could not see myself standing up to that treacherous animal, and not giving in to the desire to let down my guard in a moment of shared tragedy. 

When the doors opened once more I followed this man. The aroma was still there, dancing in the air with miserable haughtiness. Even if it were actually him, even if it were really him, why should I look for it?

"Turn around" spoke my avowed owner, pulling a small jewelry box out of his inside coat pocket. I let go of a gentle breath while following his command, feeling fingers move along my neck as he placed a small tracking device "The place is quite big, you can walk around a bit while I finish a couple of things here. Right on the left is a small lounge-bar if you want to wait there, ask for something if you like" he muttered before returning to the door and getting lost behind the fine wood. 

I touched the precious stones on the necklace looking around. Without my consent my lungs absorbed air, unconsciously searching for that scent. I bit my lip in tedium because of that bias of weakness as I felt my heart rush to find it once more. 

I began my drift between wooden doors and glass offices, his aroma my only guide among a thousand corridors, among a thousand looks that at the sight of the necklace were warned away. 

Why did I look for him? I wondered somewhere in the depths of my psyche, why was I looking for him? He would probably turn his back on me one more time, and I would sink and mock and be outraged and hurt and... 

I stopped my walk feeling the scent gathering in a large room, probably the lounge-bar that I had been told about before. 

I let go of a shaky breath, once again inhaling the aroma that instigated my more animal side as usual. With each breath I gradually stopped caring if I was hurt, if I was damaged. There was a certain sense of calm, as I savored the well-known torment he was giving me. So unpleasant.

I advanced driven by desire into the room, looking around almost desperately for his image, finding absolutely nothing but one or two unknown alphas. 

Frustration overwhelmed my desire. I walked in the direction where I assumed the bathrooms should be. What kind of ridiculousness was this? How could I let goddamn hormones guide my actions? I was not a fucking animal!

I wanted to scream it out, but I would be silenced immediately. 

I detailed my perfect reflection in the mirror. I had my hair perfectly arranged, my complexion cared for, like a doll's. And for the thousandth time I felt disgusted with myself. For the thousandth time I felt myself shrinking into golden chains. For the thousandth time I wanted to simply... rest from it all. 

I roughly wiped away some tears that had been lost among the hundreds I had already spilled walking to one of the cubicles in search of false privacy. I closed behind me and leaned my back against the door breathing in search of calm, momentary calm amidst the nonsense of even feeling in this context. 

I fixed my suit and touched the necklace a second time before I felt that aroma approaching me again. It was approaching at frantic speed, my stomach turned over, my heart began to race again. 

He was on the other side of the door. 

Without thinking twice, I unlocked it. 

"I knew I felt you" he muttered as he entered the cubicle, closing behind us to turn me around and slamming me against the door in a beast-like fluidity. 

My breath got stuck as if out of nowhere breathing implied inhaling poison, and my chest began a race of disbelief to my hands. I raised them to his face, so familiar. Orbs like hell, skin like sin, scent like the rope around my neck, always ready to hang me a few feet from the ground. 

"Cartman" 

"Kahl" and his face sank against my neck "God, I missed your smell" and mine on his, allowing me to breathe in a display of real freedom. 

I could never find a more accurate metaphor for him than a drug itself. I buried my hands behind his back, his hands widened at my hip and we were only there for a couple of seconds appreciating the most addictive essence we could ever feel in our lives. 

"What are you doing here?" I murmured against his neck. 

"I will take you out... I will make you mine" he spoke as he stepped back, searching for my gaze. I corresponded by finding that dilation in pupils proper to the thirsty one... probably not much different from mine. I smiled at the words. 

"How?" 

"It's complicated, I just know it will take time" 

"How much?" he was silent for a few seconds. 

"Quite a lot. But if you help me..." I snorted at the words with amusement. 

"The last time I helped you, we ended up here"

"Last time you decided not to trust. Trust me now..." there was this sort of almost childish decision in his eyes; so typical of him in the midst of his obstinacy; but still... 

"You will only use me" he smiled at the words, leaning his face over me, his forehead touching mine. 

"But I will use you  _ much better _ than they do" and that tone alone was enough to succumb like any ordinary Omega to his command. My breath escaped and his lips caught it in a chaste kiss that seemed to give meaning, for a split second, to my entire life. Just holding the contact of mouths, not moving an inch, eyelids slowly lowering as we filled our senses with each other's scent. 

And this... this was hell. 

We had come a really long way since then. Seven years. 

Seven years later, and here we were again.

_ "The auction will be on Friday" _

I closed my eyes, keeping silent in my seat, crossing my hands over my lap patiently while murmurs floated in the air between names, between figures. 

Numbers danced proudly, for this was the testimony by excellence, of the power of money over human life. 

_ "If you lose that auction, Cartman. I will bring you down, do you understand?"  _

"And to close the evening's auction, one of the most extravagant possessions in recent years. One of the most valuable Omegas on the market today, fluent in at least four languages, ten years of experience in the famous..." 

_ "Fuck you. I never lose."  _

And I raised my eyelids for the first time in a while, finding hundreds of eyes embedded in me; surely thousands in this wide circular amphitheater, the ceiling a dome from which descended rows of lights, leaving no living shadow between balconies around the stage, or the seats at the base. 

But those who would bet on me were probably in the central area, on this second floor with a few seats set aside in advance for buyers who aspired to spend more than anyone else. 

I found his face.

My gaze fell on this hell, because at this point, for me, even though in my religion we did not conceive such a place, I conceived it in the blue of his eyes. 

And yes, jade immersed itself in the very hades, in its briefly bored expression, fingers around the small auction palette disdainfully detailing the crowd while throwing a deliberately rude yawn into the air. 

I took a deep breath and felt my heartbeat descend strangely relaxed. Just now, when my fantasy of freedom was hanging from a really thin silk thread, I felt I could trust him. Not entirely in him perhaps, simply in his inability to lose, to lose to the world. I knew, I had faith that he would be victorious, at least today... and part of me hated to embrace that trust as the last foundation of my hope for change. 

I closed my orbs again, listening to words fly, numbers and prices, his voice not rising once, too many bidders. 

"Sold to the two hundred and three at one..." that was not the number on Cartman's paddle. 

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the hammer hit the pedestal a second time. I looked anxiously for his stupid smile in the crowd, to see him raise the offer a few thousand just before the hostess pronounced three. I stared at him in annoyance for that stupid stunt, only to be greeted by his stupid laugh. 

A woman raised the offer and I saw an almost scornful bias in Cartman's gaze. It was the lady next to him. 

And a heated demonstration of purchasing power began... the numbers became ridiculous at a certain point; but to my fortune, Cartman won in the end. 

I released a breath of relief that I didn't know I was holding in, my back lifting soon freeing itself from one of the most stressful situations I had ever been in. 

I guess I wasn't so confident after all. And how could I lie? A part of me almost expected the son of a bitch to leave me in the hands of some sextarian 'in the prime of his sexuality' just for fun. 

God. I smiled softly at the idea as I was urged to stand and be guided to the 'warehouse', listening to the auction close after my departure, amidst applause, amidst surprising murmurs about the specimen they had managed to see today, and would never see again. 

I was taken to this waiting room while everything was being formalized I guess, among these events there were always boring lapses of nothing. Not that they really bothered me. 

I advanced into a small living room, listening to the sound of the door being shut behind me, footsteps walking away, whispers about myself, all good, sexual in some cases. Well, in most cases. 

What was next? 

Now he was where he wanted to be, and I had finally escaped from that horrible tower... to fall into his hands. Which would be worse? 

I had so many ways to make him fall, so many secrets, so many ties with people who would love to see him suffer as much as I do. Years of collaboration opened up a variety of options for stabbing him in the back, but it worked both ways unfortunately, making me question if there was something else than just business that brought us together. Uncertainty, mistrust, hate are not exactly useful in the long run when trying to get to the top. 

So what was next? We had what we wanted, that was enough. What if he tried to leave me behind? Sell me? throw me away? I was still an Omega, still a fucking Omega. 

A distant sound caught my attention. Boots... 

Most, if not all, of the men here wore oxford or similar style shoes, and the women wore heels. The sound of footsteps was like a constant soft clicking. The sound of those heavy boots was out of tune, like a drum between small bells. 

The alarming thing was not so much that, it was simply something curious; the alarming thing was that it was heading for this particular room. 

I gazed at the door in anticipation of the noisy guest whose footsteps did not cease, nor did they falter at all. My gaze then traveled to the doorknob being forced, not legally of course, to see a picturesque character cross the threshold and close behind him. 

I silently detailed him. From the obvious military boots, to an attempt at a formal suit turned to shit in his... in his process of getting here I suppose. Brown, dishevelled hair, terrible dark circles under his eyes, and an unlit cigarette between his lips. 

"It was... complicated," he said after a while, pointing at the door. I nodded cautiously. 

"I can see that," he flashed a clearly forced smile as he reached into his pockets for something, hurriedly, anxiously. A lighter.

He lit the cigarette to inhale and let a puff of smoke go, a relaxed breath that seemed to chase away any trace of nervousness from his existence. 

"The sons of bitches had dogs, dogs. Fucking mutts, they're such a pain in the ass" I shrugged my eyes, still too confused by the visit to... I don't know, I really didn't know what kind of reaction to have. 

"Then... to what do I owe the honor" he snorted at my choice of words, I couldn't help but frown at it. 

"So... bought by Eric T. Cartman, the same person who initially put you up for auction, the same person who became CEO of the company that initially owned you" I arched one of my eyebrows at the sudden verbiage in his distinctive French accent. Well, this was quite colorful. 

"Two plus two makes four, congratulations," he smiled softly, only one of his corners rising. 

"Look, I'm an Omega, just like you," I nodded, catching a glimpse of the mark on his neck barely hidden by a half-wrapped scarf "And I must admit, therefore, that I am impressed" I smirked looking towards the window, curtains half drawn, leaving behind a translucent veil, then a window on a third floor... no way to escape. 

"It's not a mutual feeling. Who are you" his breath flowed wearily, exhaling smoke through his nostrils. 

"I have a name, and an invitation," I arched one of my eyebrows in curiosity. 

"An email would have been easier, maybe a letter"

"Easy to ignore. Yes" 

"Give me the name first, because you're tempting me to call security" he took out a small envelope from between his pockets.

"My name is Christophe, my alpha is Gregory of Yardale, president of the Yardale group. Right now he's working with an acquaintance of yours... Wendy Testaburger" he extended the envelope in my direction. My interest in the conversation was finally shown by the name. It was like the ghost of a completely different reality, like dead memories of a life that even if I wanted to, I could never get back. 

"What do you want?" 

"Revolution," he said with an almost comical seriousness. I laughed softly, wondering what kind of reality this character was living in.

"Look at the context before you say such absurd words, you are French, but you are not an idiot." He did not seem to be bothered, he just kept silent, sucking on his cigarette. "And what kind of participation do you intend to get from me? I am just a mere omega"

"You and that alpha of yours would be an important, but not essential, acquisition. A change will come even without your participation. The margin of error is as great as the change that is planned to be made, and strategy is the art of planning within that margin to reduce it, to make it non-existent if possible. A wide margin of error, among other things, implies collateral damage, lost lives and... I know you are the type of person who really abhors that kind of thing" I narrowed my gaze reticently "It's up to you to help us reduce the margin of error and its implications, in an event that I promise you, will be unavoidable" 

"Is that a threat?"

"An invitation and a warning" he shrugged, lighting a second cigarette. I was silent for a few seconds processing the information. What was the plan? I felt the paper in my hands asking myself if I should open it now. 

"We'll wait for an answer," he said before leaving. The hurried pace of boots was lost in the distance. 

I breathed in the remaining smell in the room. His alpha's... He was marked. 

A bond, a tie. Was that next? A leash that, unlike what was generally believed, worked in both directions. The alpha was as imprisoned as the omega, and if not by biological means, I would make it happen by less orthodox means. 

I observed the invitation in my hands once again. 

We were just getting started. 

* * *

It has been so many years since I returned to this country. The foreigner became like a distant dream in which I had been stuck for more than half a decade, and the absence of the smell of war, the silence, the lightness in the clothes, the itch in my neck were not welcome. 

As I was transported between buildings in perfect condition, chain stores, crowded restaurants, as vain conversations reached my ears, perfumes addressed my taste, the smog concentrated in the air came down my throat, I felt more and more like a wild animal being sent to a kindergarten. 

This was not my place. It was no longer my place, they took it away from me... I was no longer a human like the others. 

"This way" the discomfort in the eyes of those who saw me was new to me. They knew I was a wild animal in a kindergarten, but Mommy had told them not to mess with me. They had no choice but to obey. 

"Come in" a huge wooden door opened, this strong smell of alpha overpowered me so distinctly. My body tensed up waiting for that voice commanding to kill, but nothing came but silence. I stood there, confused for a few seconds, without the slightest idea what to do. 

"Come closer" the female voice guided my next three steps, the doors were closed behind me. I breathed in again the aroma of alpha, one I had not been ordered to remove because it lay on first world soil, an aroma of alpha that deserved to be shot through the air with freedom, freedom founded on blood. However, what freedom is not founded on blood? "Remember me?" I raised my gaze towards blue eyes, black hair, military uniform, soldier's bearing, woman's body. 

How much she had grown. 

I did not answer. 

"I asked a question, Kenneth McCormick, give me an answer," I smiled distantly, remembering how much she loved to restrain herself from using her alpha voice. It seemed to be a habit that had remained over time. 

I had heard her name from time to time between reports, between high commands, between whispers and secrets in the heat of battle. I had forgotten, many memories were scattered among the sand and dust. 

"Does it matter? The outcome of this conversation does not depend on whether I remember you or not'' I inhaled, and beyond the tone of alpha, the distantly familiar tone of surgery flooded in. The mixture of various antiseptic substances, the tone to latex, to antibacterial soap. 

"It matters that you remember the nature of my ideals" she stood up, away from that huge chair, the mahogany desk, documents, a cup of coffee, and the notable absence of photos or decorations. 

"And how would that nature differ from any other alpha, Wendy," her mouth curled in displeasure at the sneer in my voice. "The pleasure that ruling brings to your kind, knows no ideology," she smiled distantly, a trace of sadness creeping into her eyes, but she did not look away from me. 

"You are right" I bit the inside of my cheek at my words, a freedom I had taken without paying attention to the voice of that alpha who always seemed to whisper to me from somewhere. Every minute without a command only made me feel more and more disoriented, cornered. 

Her steps came slowly and measured, she sniffed close to me finding nothing but her own essence in the air. I remained unchanged in my position, her scent setting off alarms that I tried to silence with sudden despair. She stopped behind me. 

"The Omegas also sin from thirst, does your thirst know how to distinguish between ideologies?" Her fingers went up to my neck, moving shortly the cloth of my diver to feel a scar close to my cervical vertebrae "It does not. Nor does it distinguish between morality or ethics; washing one's hands in the voice of an alpha must be liberating." Rage began to dance in my chest, emotions that I rarely contemplated long enough to let them boil. 

"I had no choice," she moved her hand away, her boots took a couple more steps, soon she was in front of me. 

"I know" that strange and sad smile came back to her lips "I know" she repeated looking down for a second. 

"Why am I here?" 

"I need you" the smell of the operating room came back to my nose. The distant sound of glove slides, metal shakes and soft steps reached me. 

I looked around. It was offices like these, where history happened. 

"This office and your place in it gives me the opposite idea"

"Help me change the system, Kenny" a distant feeling came from my chest when I heard my name said that way. 

"I can feel the O.R. being prepared, you're not waiting for my approval, so cut the fucking game"

"We need to reverse the artificial bonding and..." 

"Just that?" 

"And try an experimental treatment to eliminate the reproduction instinct, and everything that it represents... including the hierarchy of alpha and omega. As far as hormones go, we'll set you free" she breathed in once again the absence of aroma in my body "You no longer have gonads, aromas or the ability or need to reproduce. Let me finish the process that they started, let me remove any trace of the omega that nature forced you to accept" her gaze observed me decisively, painfully determined.

I lowered my gaze, exhausted from her aroma. Heavy and dominant, unlike any scent extinct under my yoke. I watched in awe as my hand was wrapped in bandages, still in the process of healing from the last mission.

I had given up fighting years ago. It was tiring and futile. 

As one of the many sick people I met in the slaughterhouse said. It was like fucking a corpse and hoping it would have an orgasm. It was a unilateral act that would only be reciprocated with silence and the constant image of death. 

How fucking disgusting. 

Was it worth fighting the inevitable? Ideals guided with such conviction in the hands of an alpha were dangerous. And the option of dying on the way existed. 

I let go a sigh as heavy as my shoulders. 

"I do not have the strength, or the interest to refuse. I will not pretend to have autonomy after living as a slave. I'm still waiting for a voice to tell me what the fuck to do," she kept silent as I finished processing the end of the estate. "But that's not the Kenneth you knew," she raised one of her eyebrows in interest." What would the Kenneth you knew say?" Her gaze softened for a moment. My stomach turned in sudden terror from a clear gesture of vulnerability. 

"The Kenny I knew would have asked about his little sister" I watched her for a couple of seconds in complete silence. We both knew the answer to that question, because it was also the answer to how she would control me when the surgeon removed my natural leash. "I've taken care of her, she's beta"

Nostalgia tangled in absolute adoration devoured my heart between its warm jaws. Crossing the barrier of disdain, of weariness. 

"Fine..." she watched me searching for some emotion in my face. My warm bowels dissent greatly with my insipid expression "I will follow you'' one of her mouth corners went up in triumph. She nodded solemnly, and I felt for a second that I had sold my soul to the devil... But what the hell, it had never been mine anyway.

* * *

I silently looked at the documents in my hands. My signature on a proof of purchase for a million euro piece. My phone was vibrating, but I still couldn't let go of this feeling of satisfaction and desire that reading his name as something of my own was provoking. 

_ Kyle Broflovski, owned by Eric. T. Cartman. _

I drank the last sip from the wine glass as I walked out of the hotel where the auction had taken place. The driver was waiting with the car door open. 

"Let's go to the central offices" he nodded and started off. I still had a job to do, I always had a damn job to do. My phone was still vibrating, reality was still knocking on the fucking door every second... but my only dilemma right now was the idea of marking him.

I didn't remember marking anyone, and if I did, its irrelevance was inescapable, because I didn't have a single memory of it. It was one of the many banalities of the system that I finally took into account now that I had something in front of me that was worth marking. 

He would let himself be marked? The consent between alphas and omegas was an act of extreme romanticism, to the point of being considered vulgar or improper in certain circles. In addition, not marking him was a sign of a clear lack of authority in an elitist and tedious society. I didn't care much about the social strata in this community, but maybe I could use it as an excuse. 

I got out of the car as soon as it stopped in front of the building. A dozen floors up, the smell of that alpha covered my nose. The offices were lifeless at this hour, with only the occasional security guard slipping through empty hallways. 

I opened the door to my office without any light of its own. My movement turned on the lighting in the huge room, her figure was lying on my chair. I heard the lipstick on her lips as they parted, her nails clashing against each other, an exhalation of disgust.

"You bought him" although we were close to our thirties, her voice still sounded like that ten-year-old girl who once ruined me. Unbearable. 

"And you're in my chair. Luckily one of the two things can be reversed" a slight chardonnay tone seemed to dance in the air, the dust from a cork after being pierced. I looked for the bottle of wine, I didn't find anything.

"What are you trying to do?" she murmured, knowing that I would hear her.

"Trying to... Heidi, I was just trying to satisfy a somewhat repressed desire for my hard and traumatic childhood" I cleared my throat, moving in her direction. "It's a particularly hard conversation for me, it makes me a little sensitive. That you'll get your damn attempt of vagina out of my chair would make me feel a lot better" she spun around in the chair, approaching my desk. I stopped, watching, listening to her fingernails groping for papers scattered on the wood.

"You shouldn't leave these documents out in the open" her green eyes searched for me amidst the light makeup, still keeping her hair short and this haughty bitch vibe. 

"You shouldn't sit in my damn chair" we had met again at a united nations' conference on sustainable development in my last semester at the university. She was one of the many speakers at the event. If I had known, I wouldn't have gone, but who the hell reads the damn brochures. 

"I heard that one of the new internal policies you're going to promote calls for the welfare of the Omegas marketed by the subsidiaries of your small empire, but it calls into question the sustainability of production costs. I wonder if the shareholders will see this direct blow to profits as something…wise". 

"Small? When you get your ass out of my chair, please do us both a favor and get the hell out of my office while you're at it"

"And looking at these documents, something tells me that this is just the beginning, the beginning of something big, now with Kyle in your hands"

"I told you already..." she clicked her tongue with complete annoyance. At last my attacks were beginning to break through her solid barrier of indifferent drunkenness.

"You can fool them..." she pointed to the window, to the endless buildings on the horizon, and what each represented "... But not me, Eric" I let go a sigh of fatigue ending my way to the desk. 

"Always so smart" she snorted with renewed annoyance giving a last glance at the documents. 

"Let me correct what I said before. You don't have Kyle in your hands, Kyle has you in his hands"

"And so funny" she smiled distantly. 

"Change the world? That's what he wants..." I couldn't help but roll my eyes as a breath of pure annoyance left my lips. It was still just as tedious to talk to her. Women "Improve the conditions of the Omegas in the long run? Release them?" She finally stood up. I was silent as she circled the table in my direction " You are doing it wrong. You know he' s doing it wrong" 

"Why did you want to see me?" She smiled again, this tone of deceptive politeness on her pink lips. 

"I just wanted to give you a little advance on what's coming up." 

"Oh, now you see the future too? I always knew you had something of a witch in you." 

"You and Kyle are predictable, on an almost satirical level. He has a pronounced tendency to take struggles for his ideals to somewhat... unhealthy levels". I knew I wasn't the only one who had noticed. "That tendency will be reflected in your actions on this company, a national oligopoly of the omega industry. You know that the living conditions Kyle intends for his kind are unattainable in a system that puts profit before human life. How long do you think you can fool the world? The numbers will eventually show the truth" her smile grew as mine descended "You haven't even marked him, and that in itself is outrageous".

"What's your point? To fuck up my fucking night? Oh, you knew how good I'd feel after I bought him so you decided to come and fuck up my week. Is that it?" She laughed softly. The smell of wine hit me harder than ever. 

"I just came to confirm that you know he's doing it wrong."

"And you can do it right?" She shrugged, now half sitting at my desk. Was she planning to leave her ass mark all over my office?

"Not right... but at least better."

"And why would you do that?" I moved to my chair. This was my chance. I took my seat and let go of a grunt of victory, followed by a groan of disgust at her essence in it. 

"You are so childish" She whispered following my movements with that cold, calculating look of hers. The eyes of an abuser. I was her victim. 

"Will you answer?" Her gaze wandered around the office for a couple of seconds. Her lips seemed to hesitate about the words that would come out.

"A couple of months ago, I got this request signed by at least fifty somewhat impromptu textile factory workers' unions in Bangladesh. It was a petition made to various human rights organizations that for some reason ended up in the hands of an alpha, my hands"

"Impressive" She agreed, those requests never came so high. "What was it about?"

"It was a petition to improve the working conditions of the Omegas tapped in those factories as slaves. Of course, along with it came this letter from an alpha belonging to this textile conglomerate and owner of a large part of the factories in the area, asking to please ignore the request, as it was an attempt to hurt the profits, the company and all those who depended on it, including customers and shareholders" I nodded "What do you think I did?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure a glass of wine was involved in the decision" she let out a smile at the comment. 

"Even if I'm an alpha, I'm part of the system. I ignored the request, it wasn't the first time anyway." She played once more with the papers on the table, her eyes fixed on the movement of her own hands. "You know that in third world areas, due to the high birth rate, Omegas are not that rare. They are easily replaceable". 

“¿So?” 

"Days later I attended this fashion show in Milan, of one of the brands that hired services from developing countries such as Bangladesh or India" she took a deep breath "Two sides of the same coin" and closed her eyes showing nothing but tranquility in her face "And I thought as I watched those models, beautiful omegas on the verge of inanity, with an expiration date already marked and the smell of alpha sperm between their legs... What if we destroyed everything..." well, I didn't expect that.

"What?" Her eyes searched for me.

"Everything is too broken to be fixed. There's really no solution, or right answer"

"What is yours? To send it all to hell? Pretty realistic Heidi, as ambitious as ever. Why the fuck did you come to tell me this?"

"An economic crisis, a second great recession" She bit her lip in an act of concentration, I watched her fascinated by such evil machinations. To see her fall on her ever present dirty side was interesting. "The neoliberal model does not have a solution for the next economic crisis, nobody would know how to face it. From Marx to Keynes, the theory of the crisis is sufficiently well defined to know how to initiate one with enough participation in the market"

"Why the fuck would I do that?"

"You are the CEO of an oligopoly, of an industry on which others depend such as pornography, sex tourism, modeling, various branches of the arts and more business difficult to name. If you fall, they will all fall, and in turn, those who depend on them. The sudden stop of such a large money flow in the system would cause a stir on Wall Street... No one wants to drive Wall Street crazy" she mumbled without looking away from the documents on the table. 

"Again, why the fuck would I do that?" she smiled. 

"I think I said it from the beginning. The business system that Kyle plans to make you implement is not viable, it will affect the numbers eventually... Unless that's your intention from the start. "

I wasn't planning on agreeing with her in a thousand fucking years; but the situation seemed to deserve it. Kyle's ideals often overlapped with reality itself; they became dangerous. 

"Think about it," she finally said, adjusting her cardigan, and took one last look around the office. "And congratulations. You don't deserve any of this, but you've played the puppet role pretty well so far"

"Fuck you." She started her way to the door. The sound of her heels rivaled her voice in terms of irritability. 

"And you should make your bond with him as soon as you can. You don't want the rumors to start running. Right?" That was the last thing she said before leaving the room. Her scent, on the other hand, would remain locked up in the place for a couple more days. Bitch. 

Mark him. Mark him.

Little did I know about the implications of a bond, but I had read enough. I would be able to feel and smell him all the time, even if the fucking ocean were to separate us. The emotions would cross the boundaries of the individual and be mutually familiar. The gestures, the touch, the caresses... the slightest approach would feel a thousand times stronger. Or so they said, to me that was bullshit, I had seen alphas undo bonds with a laughable ease. It affected them, but it was nothing that the necessary sedation could not calm. It was almost like plastic surgery, including anesthesia and everything.

I watched the office one last time before I left. I took my cell phone reading the name on the incoming call. 

Kyle.

_ "I' ve been thinking about something. But I hate to make things so easy for you _ " it was weird for him to call me. It felt like years.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" 

For an Omega to have a phone, or a way to contact the outside world without the intervention of its Alpha was rare, very rare. But, lucky for him, someone as benevolent and amazing as me owned that glass tower. When I gave him the phone a couple of weeks ago, his first reaction was to take it and lock himself in his room. I know he tried to contact people from the past, he tried to dial phone numbers that he could barely remember by changing one or two digits with each wrong dialing message. 

No one answered. At the end of that day I knew he hated me a little more, and I couldn't care less. 

"They already took you to my apartment? I paid extra for quick delivery"

" _ Fast, not efficient. I've been thinking about whether or not I should let you mark me" _ The lascivious tone that crossed the line drove a current into my pelvis. The soft smile I heard next triggered a small flash of hate in my chest. Fucking bitch. 

"I didn't know it was a decision you could make" We both knew it was, but I wasn't planning on saying that. 

" _ So I wasn't the only one thinking about it. Were you thinking of marking me against my will? _ " The distant sound of cars and music made it clear that he wasn't in my damn apartment. I looked at the time on my rolex, he definitely had to be in my fucking apartment already. 

"Where are you?"

" _ Answer my question _ " I got into my car. I had dispatched the driver because I was going straight home after meeting Heidi. Of course, that bitch Kyle had to ruin everything. 

"No. You answer my fucking question” 

_ “Find me and I'll let you mark me”  _ And he was gone. I took the road.

I tried to dial him. Of course he didn't answer. I dialed the beta that was supposed to make sure Kyle got into my fucking apartment.

I waited one, two... 

" _ Yes, Mr. Cartman _ " I let go of a really heavy breath when I noticed the clear nervousness in his voice. 

"Did you at least make sure he came in?" 

" _ Sorry? _ " my index finger and thumb looked for the bridge of my septum to lessen even a little the stress that was starting to flow. 

"Did you see the omega, the one who probably gave you a hard-on with his dirty little Jewish bitch tricks, go into the fucking apartment?" he was silent for a few fucking seconds... god. 

" _ I left him in the lobby, I thought that... _ " I hung up without hearing any further explanation, raising my nose to the air to look for the direction of his scent when I was near my residential area.

I knew he would do some shit like this. Damn it. I started my ride looking for its essence in the direction of the main road, among a thousand shits in the air. It was difficult, but not impossible. 

A few meters south on the avenue, its aroma was flowing towards an area rarely frequented by unmarked omegas with a minimum sense of pure decency.

I parked on a platform where his essence seemed to grow, following him among the thousand and one more that seemed to join; arriving at this establishment in the center of the area, a particularly congested area of nightclubs. 

His aroma stood out like a lady in a carmine dress, among virginal white tones. Dirty, sinful, so proud of its very invitation to temptation. 

Other aromas were intermingled with his, like beasts groping his neck, his complexion, his gaze, looking for even the slightest opportunity to possess that provocative creature in the most obscene ways possible.

Snow was falling, but the heat that emanated from my complexion was increasing, threats to my property instigated this pressure on my chest that made my pace increase rapidly, among omegas, among alphas. I was only looking for the carmine prey that was starting to drive me crazy with its simple display of hormones. 

He was deliberately playing with the hunter. Oh, but he was used to hunters without fangs, without claws. Playing with me wasn't the same game that he played with whichever imbecile bought his time. 

I breathed in again, a small flake brushed my nose evaporating in a short time, his aroma dispersing among a thousand establishments brimming with life, music playing among bricks, neon lights, tall buildings and I was close, I could feel it. 

Everything seemed to get lost when I looked for him. It wasn't the first time, it definitely wasn't the first time. I had looked for him so many times years ago. 

The first time our eyes met after leaving him on that ship in Algiers, the surprise in his eyes, the little move of his nose recognizing my scent so far away. And when I had him in my sight a wild part of me wanted him so damn close. I really thought, for a second, that I wanted to eat him alive. 

But back then there were barriers of ownership, of hierarchy, of interest. This time he was mine, and as soon as I could see him, I really had no idea what kind of impulse would come out of me. I was curious about my actions, and curious as to whether I would be able to stop myself. 

The noises became dissonant between footsteps and murmurs, to the point that, as soon as his voice entered my listening radius, it would be absolutely everything I would hear; the aromas would break through and his would superimpose itself, overwhelming, unique, so damned addictive that I really did not blame the fucking driver for succumbing to something so easy to appreciate as his aroma was; and everything seemed to be reduced to a tunnel vision whose center had to be him, had to be him. 

I advanced to a club that was too congested for the hour; it was about three o'clock and people seemed desperate to get in. Maybe they felt it too... the smell of the most expensive whore on the market, there must have been a reason for the price. 

I snorted, making my way through a really tedious crowd, alphas and omegas behind them, a few betas out of tune; but it didn't matter, right now his being was my top priority. 

Among a swarming crowd, neon lights running down the walls, ceiling, contouring the shadows on the floor like snakes, smoke dancing at ankle height and music resonating at a frequency arranged for the sensitive ear of alphas and omegas, I felt his aroma caressing my face like the muse playing amusingly with his artist. 

I was close. 

So close that my heart seemed to dictate the pace of my steps, increasing both at the same time with each breath closer to it. 

It had been so long since I felt this... it was like succumbing to nature, a part of us as mere beings pretending to be gods that bordered on the earthly, thus remembering our dirty belonging to the equivalent of quadrupeds in heat. 

But it was difficult, really difficult to ignore that part that was pounding and tearing to get out, begging for a moment of debauchery, of control, of submission, of something that would make us feel human once again. 

And there he was. 

He kept the three-piece suit from the previous evening, although the jacket was nowhere to be found. The shirt had its collar undone next to the half-down tie, and the vest, already completely unbuttoned, left its white collar exposed completely free of any mark, inviting each alpha around him to observe with their dirty eyes his clean jugular. 

He was leaning over the bar, vinotinto glass in hand, a sneaky Jewish smile on his face, and a posture of complete freedom. Chin raised, back straight, neck deliberately exposed in a tilted position to show how little fear the multiple alphas around him inspired in him. So arrogant, so Kyle. 

As soon as I got close enough, the tension was palpable, threats ran rampant among a large number of predators disguised as gods; keeping them at bay with the latent promise of great, great consequences. 

He played with fire, but was so damned used to getting his hands on it that he knew he could manipulate it without getting even a little burned. 

I stopped to watch one of the alphas slide his hand tentatively around his wrist. The other alphas noticed, and this really heavy atmosphere took over, like a storm that seemed to be coming. 

Kyle only looked away from the contact, pushing his hand aside with the delicacy of a prostitute. He breathed calmly and said something that was lost in the bustle, and his gaze searched for mine to smile in victory, a victory I did not understand; because this really irrational part of me knew that I could completely destroy him right now. 

Anger that I did not recognize as my own swayed through my chest, irremediably translating into this display of hormones that did nothing but add more weight to the already suffocating environment. Omegas began to move away, and not a single beta dared to come near this area. The gaze of alphas, at least those who wanted a chance with Kyle, traveled in my direction, initially threatening. 

A heat came down my back, unmistakable... my rut was close; after all, his heat had been over a month ago, our cycle was not far off. 

That became evident as a statement, my reason took a step backwards terrified by that growing anger, and I didn't even know whether to classify that feeling as anger, because it could well go to euphoria in one second, and to an act of brutal violence the next. 

Every alpha took a step back from the situation, from Kyle's almost automatic submission to my presence. He stopped exposing his neck, and even though his back was kept straight, his chin dropped below mine with his gaze only on me. He would not push it away like an ordinary Omega would; he would not give in, Kyle would never give in. 

Part of me tried to stop myself, that slight trace of distant reason knowing that this was probably nothing more than a Jewish trick, dirty and sneaky on his part; but then, the predominant one right now, made me walk until I was inches away from him, and in movements that seemed to be mere reflexes one of my hands moved towards his neck, burying my fingers between his red curls in order to hurt him as I drew him towards me. 

"You took your time" he muttered against my lips, the smell of alcohol reaching me. I pulled his hair forcing him to raise his chin, breathing down his neck. 

Without further ado, like a beast marking ground, I buried my teeth in his lower lip, pulled and caught his open mouth in an almost immediate brush of tongues exploring the other's cavity. A guttural groan left his throat and my hand left his hair to go down with the other to his hip, holding him against the bar, I raised him to sit him on it throwing some glasses in the process, without separating more than a millimeter. 

"You are mine" I murmured between the exchange and felt him laugh at me, raising his arms to my neck, surrounding me, his chest pulsing against mine, heat running between the two like rivers of opposing streams colliding, melting. 

"Not yet." Those words came out as a command to follow, and I was fascinated. 

I walked away to let my nose feel his, his lips, his chin. 

"Up" I ordered and he rose, exposing his trachea, moving up and down by saliva that slipped in feigned nervousness; playing the prey, believing in his blind and sinuous pride that he was not.

My lips groped the area. I had no fucking idea how to do this. 

Despite the loud music I could hear his heartbeat, blood rushing at an erratic pace through his jugular. 

My tongue slipped, eagerly inspecting the incision site that would make him my property, and my own heart swirled in a flutter that propelled me to his as everything around us faded away like the meaningless reality that it was. Right now, the only thing worth appreciating was his haughty face, jade orbs fixed on my actions, lips half open in anxiety that he didn't bother to hide... and his smell, his damn smell. 

And it only took one last breath of submission on his part to sink my teeth into his almost virginal complexion; after all, the last person who had marked him had died by his own hand; and damn it, the memory alone only turned me on even more. 

A moan of pain pierced his lips, his fingers buried themselves in the back of my neck, and for a second each sense tripled his feeling. 

Like an overdose of reality, each beat pierced my eardrum and a dizziness came up between my eyebrows too focused on the thousand and one aromas around us, but his always prevailed, now deeper than ever. And the touch, his fingers seemed to burn, my hands on his hip buried themselves as if I wanted to pierce him, the fabric, the clothes felt like a bloody mortal enemy. 

The noose ran like a leash around our necks, and our heartbeats seemed to synchronize from now until the end of... of this, of whatever this was.

For a second I felt complete, as if my entire existence had been but a fragment of a whole; and right in front of me was the other part, complementing me. It was only a fleeting feeling, which I almost tried to pursue before seeing it vanish before me... leaving behind this strange sensation of a void to be filled, where he somehow fit, wrongly and at the same time... perfectly. Contradictory, strange... it was the first time in my life that... 

"And now?" I asked against his neck. 

He trembled under my touch and I walked away seeing the red mark of teeth on a pale complexion illuminated between fleeting flashes of neon carmine, my shadow overshadowing his face, animal desire consuming his gaze. 

"Perhaps" his words made the whole context come back to life. Glances were felt again, and the noise at its average level spread out again to every damn corner... I could see beyond his dilated pupils; but I cared so little that I just stepped back. 

God, all this was so annoying. 

"Satisfied?" I spoke loudly enough turning around, starting my way to the entrance of this cursed place as whispers reached us; several recognizing him, recognizing me.

“I am” 


End file.
